The next day, Monday, I woke up with swollen, dry eyes. The previous day had been a tough one. First all the Crystal stuff, then the 'think about myself' crap that was thrown at me. "No, wait." I thought to myself, "You've got to think about yourself. You have to move on from this." I pushed my head into my pillow as hard as I could in frustration. Finally, once all the girls had gotten up I got out of bed and went into the bathroom to get ready for the day.
That was at 7:00. By 8 I was like a walking zombie. I wasn't sure of anything. Where was I going? What was I doing? I even stared at the blackboard for the whole hour in Geometry and by the end of the class I didn't know what class I had just sat through. Apparently people noticed. Ezra came up to me and asked, "Hey- are you all right?"
All my emotions- some of which I couldn't name to save my life- built up made me too tired to be obnoxious, "Yeah, I'm fine."
"You sure?" He asked not convinced one bit.
I nodded, "Yep. Fine."
"All righty then." Ezra mumbled then left the room.
After classes the Cliffhangers were supposed to meet at the ropes course for some 'fun'. When we got there I looked up at this humongous monstrosity of ropes and gulped. How was I going to make it through that thing? One by one my friends took their turns. Apparently they had all done this before. Scott, Ezra, Daisy, Kat . . . the whole group. Eventually I was the only one left who hadn't stumbled over ropes 30 feet above the ground.
"Olivia. You're up." Peter said.
I pushed myself off the ground and let Peter connect the rope to my harness. It was (in the words of the great band REO Speedwagon) time for me to fly. I grabbed onto the first few ropes and hoisted myself up. I had to hold on tight and work hard to get each leg above the other. I was at the top. Now all I had to do was shimmy across the thin rope bridge and slide down the final rope.
I put one foot out and grabbed the side ropes meant to help me with my balance. I got onto it. Yes! I was so proud of myself for getting this far. I slowly put one foot in front of the other feeling the rope swing when I moved. It was a cool feeling. "If only I could finish this thing!" I thought to myself, "I'm at the end. Now, just slide down the rope. Come on Liv. Slide down the rope." But it was no use. I wasliterally paralyzed in my place. I could hear shouting from my friends down below.
"Come on, Liv."
"You can do it, Olivia."
"It's the easy part!"
Easy. Yes, it's easy. Simple. Come on, Liv. MOVE! "Olivia, what's wrong?" Peter yelled up to me.
"I . . . I can't do it. I'm scared." I told everyone.
Peter was really calm when he said, "It's okay, there's nothing to be afraid of. All you have to do is slide down the rope. You're not going to fall."
Fall? I hadn't thought of falling. I was just afraid of being up so high. Now the picture of me falling off the rope was stuck in my head. I couldn't breathe. I was too scared. Suddenly it was really hot and I was sweating. Before I knew it everything went black.