"Tell, me Daniel, how do we keep getting into these messes?" Jack said this to Daniel from inside the cage that was currently holding SG-1 hostage. They had come through the gate, and not an hour had passed when they had been ambushed and taken by the locals. Teal'c said they weren't Gu'auld or Jaffa, but they were still in a cage.
"I don't know Jack, there was no one around one second, and then they had us the next." They had been surrounded and sedated with something, because the next thing they knew they were in two cages, Sam in one, and Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c in the other.
"Don't worry sir, we'll find a way out of this, we always do." Just as she said that, the natives started chanting, and banging drums, and the fires were lit on the top of a huge stone wall. "What are they saying?"
Daniel shook his head, "I'm not sure, it's a strange zohili dialect, all I'm getting is two words, bride and Kong."
"Sir, this would be a good time for us to get out of here." Sam said, realizing that she was probably the bride they had in mind, and was not going to get married off to this guy, "I did not sign up for an arranged marriage Sir!"
"Teal'c, any ideas?" Jack said as the locals opened Sam's cage and grabbed her. She used all the training she had gained from the military. She flipped one man and punched two others before being held down by five men. And still she didn't stop fighting. Being dragged up stone steps, her feet kicking the whole time. Sam was being tied to two poles, her arms being held in the air.
Meanwhile, Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c managed to break one of the wooden bars of their cage, they ran up the steps, trying to save their comrade, only to find that she had been brought to the other side of a giant cannon. The largest living creature any of them had ever seen, was approaching Carter. While most women would scream their heads off, Sam was trying to reason with it. "You don't want to take me, your not a kidnapper. Please, let me go!" However all the response that she got was a roar from the giant gorilla, and was about to grab her, when jack shot it in the finger. At that it backed up and Jack continued to shoot into the air, in hope that he would scare it away.
He succeeded, and when they ran over the bridge to untie Sam she yelled at them, "Thanks guys, I don't really like being picked to be their virgin sacrifice. Besides, I don't really fit the profile."
The End