Little Red Riding Hood's real name was Isabelle DuGiblet. This, however, was information that she like to keep private, due to the recommendation of her mother. You see, Little Red Riding Hood's mother firmly believed that having an alias could keep you safe from stalkers and other problematic bad guys. Therefore, her alias was "Mother" and Isabelle's was "Little Red Riding Hood." The only problem that this posed was that it was extremely hard to come up with a witty nickname for "Little Red Riding Hood". It seemed as if neither "Little" nor "Red" nor "Riding" nor "Hood" was a very appealing and clever nickname. I shall use LRRH to save my fingers from falling off from typing L-I-T-T-L-E R-E-D R-I-D-I-N-G H-O-O-D over and over again.
One day LRRH was walking down the path to her adoptive-cousinly-twice-removed grandmaternal figure's house for no apparent reason. I suppose she was mush. On the way LRRH was interrupted by a big bad wolf. She did not know that this wolf was big and bad, though, because she a had a problem with cataracts, and was so very unfortunate not to know any ophthalmologists who could adequately solve this chronic problem. Alas, the big bad wolf ate her.
"No!" The reader gasped in dismay. "How on earth could the cute little main character be killed? That's totally barbaric!"
"Not 'killed', dear Reader," the wolf smiled sweetly, "But rather, 'consumed for
the well-being and functionality of the food web'."
"Quite true." Agreed Mother. Did you know that the population of wild wolves is declining every day? Without good nutritious meals, wolves would be extinct, just think about it, a species is saved at the small cost of humanity. One special girl has saved an important member of our ecosystem!"
So the Reader was convinced and they all partied it up together. The grey wolf never became extinct again, thanks to Isabelle (We can say her name now, can't we? I think that being in a wolf's tummy keeps you safer than using an alias. But I could be wrong…).
The End