pairings. yuki/kyo and shigure/hatori
smartass thoughts that are always truthful, and ever deadly annoying
normal thoughts
•second person not pov person thoughts•
'normal talking'
phone conversations and lyrics
akito's gonna be a guy in this fic.
hell, if i owned this, then…:scratches head…: i might have something better to do with my time than spend the whole day looking at the comp like the loser i am!
oh. i also dont own foo fighters. i use time and time again. i love that song…
REVENGEFUL MISERY
Thy misery grows deep
How can this be and nothing great
The hatred of thy soul is wider than believed
No coming out nor coming close
Hurt thy and thou shalt die.
Die within thy heart and mind.
Hate thy and thou shalt be hated.
Kill thy confidence and thy shalt kill thou heart.
Destruction is bliss.
Thy destruction is greater than thou hate,
Spite thy and thou shalt depart from life.
Who Knows?
CHAPTER 4•Musings of All•YUKI-KUN'S POV
I woke up to the door opening. I looked up and saw Shigure come in.
'Hatori and Aaya are staying for about a week. I just want to tell you so that you aren't too suprised!' Shigure stepped out of my room, humming a strange tune.
Damn! Why does my brother have to stay!
With a groan, I stepped out of bed and down the steps. As I passed the dining room, Ayame called out, 'Come in and spend a few brotherly moments with me!'
'Idiot,' I growled, and kept on walking until I got to my garden. I sat down on a patch of grass with my back to a rock. My gaze wandered over to the house, and settled on the roof, where Kyo was sitting.
I never knew you could see the house from here.
I watched Kyo for a while, his golden red hair fluttering across his face and brushing against bloodred eyes. Beautiful eyes.
He was looking straight at me, and I wonderd briefly if he saw me.
Tears filled my eyes as I watched him, and remembered all the times I'd fought him, just so he would know I existed. Did he fight back for the same reason?
I'm a total jerk. I don't know why he even likes me, if I practically kill him every time I see him.
I hate myself.
KYO'S POV
I had been sitting on the roof for a while, when I felt eyes on me. I looked through the trees, and saw that I could see the edge of Yuki's garden. My eyes ran along the edge of it, and I realized I could see most of it. I stopped at the rock. I saw sitting with his back to it the nezumi. He was looking towards me, and I wonder if he saw me. His violet eyes crashed with mine. They widened, and Yuki looked away. I made a promise to myself that I would never come onto the roof until I was sure Yuki wasn't watching.
I like him, but he's creepy sometimes, and he's confusing. Always happy if I'm hiding and looking in on him with Tohru, sad when I'm around. Could what Hatori said be true? Does Yuki really not hate me like he acts? Why? Gr.
I sat up and got off the roof. Once I was safely in my room, I closed the window and door and examined my face.
Why does everyone stare at me all the time? The only thing strange about me was my hair and my eyes. But when people stare, it isn't in fear, or anything of that sort.
People only stare becasue I'm a freak. Not like Yuki. He's not an outcast. He's welcome in the family. Tohru was the only one who's stood up for me that wasn't in the immediate family, and accepted me for who I really was. Even after she saw…
My fingers automatically went to the beads around my wrist.
But Tohru would do that for anyone. That's just how she is. Kind and loving to everyone. She's like an over-nice sister, someone who you love to take care of and protect from anything. But I think Yuki's her favorite. So much like herself. Always calm and polite. Not like me. I yell too much and I have too much of a temper. But not like I want to be like her and that damn rat!
Yuki.
Why do I feel so drawn to him?
HATORI-KUN'S POV
(remember… •second person thoughts go here. i use this later on in this chapter•)
This is going to be so much fun! Me and the two others haven't done anything like this since…Kana left.
I immediately lost my unusually cheerful mood.
Kana…
Kana…
Kana.
I crept into Shigure's office, my temporarty bedrom, and turned on the radio, seeing if there was anything on it that could cheer me up.
I am a one way motorway
I'm the one that drives away
Then follows you back home
I am a street light shining
I'm a wild light blinding bright
Burning off alone
It's times like these you learn to live again
It's times like these you give and give again
It's times like these you learn to love again
It's times like these time and time again
I am a new day rising
I'm a brand new sky
To hang the stars upon tonight
I am a little divided
Do I stay or run away
And leave it all behind?
It's times like these you learn to live again
It's times like these you give and give again
It's times like these you learn to love again
It's times like these time and time again.
It's times like these you learn to live again
It's times like these you give and give again
It's times like these you learn to love again
It's times like these time and time again.
It's times like these you learn to live again
It's times like these you give and give again
It's times like these you learn to love again
It's times like these time and time again.
It's times like these you learn to live again
It's times like these you give and give again
It's times like these you learn to love again
It's times like these time and time again.
This song…well it definitly didn't cheer me up like I hoped something could. My finger slammed down on the power button. I hate it! It just reminds me of my own pain. And my lonliness.
I dropped to my knees, and my head fell down to land in my arms. And sobbed.
Kana. Why did you leave me. Don't you realize how much I miss you? Why did you leave me all by myself? All alone to carry the weight of my sadness.
Don't ever think that I've forgotten about what I was forced to do to you.
Because I haven't. And I never will.
'Kana, you will always remain in my memories,' I whispered, loud enough to be heard.
'Thinking about Kana again?'
I whirled around to see Shigure standing by the doorway, looking strangely subdued.
'What're you doing here?'
'I was going to write, but then I realized you were in here. I don't have to.'
'No…it's fine. I can leave, or I could stay in here. I don't mind it.'
'I'll stay in here, but not to type. I just want to talk. With someone who isn't as loud as Aaya. He's my best friend, and all, but sometimes I need someone calm.'
I smiled. 'So…what do you want to talk about?'
'Oh, I don't know.'
Shigure came and linked his arms around my neck from behind. I leaned my head on his arm in exhaustion.
'I miss Kana. She was just so…I needed her. And now that she's gone… well, it was a huge blow to me. I just feel so…alone now. I don't like it.'
'We all miss her. And me and Aaya are always here for you when you need a friend. We aren't going to abandon you, I hope you know.'
I smiled again. 'Thanks. That means a lot to me.'
Shigure released me, and slid down to the floor next to me. 'Heh. Just as long as you don't abandon us.'
My eyebrows rose.
'Just kidding! Me and Aaya'll stay with you no matter what.'
I chuckled. 'Thank you. You two are always here to make me laugh when I get too serious. Next time, slap me when I get boring.'
'You're not boring. You're a lot better than you've been in a long time. Before you even met Kana…now that was when I felt like slapping you. But you were the one that found out about Yuki and Kyo wanting peace between them. And you gave us the idea to use Sake. I don't think you're necessarily boring.'
'You're the one being a little more serious that usual. Should I slap you?'
'No. I'm a person that can never be slapped. I'm just too loved by everyone, and no one would dare to hurt me.'
'That's the Shigure that I like to see.'
'Really, Ha-san. You are boring now that I think about it.'
'So…are we going to spend the whole night chatting about when we're boring and when we aren't?'
'No.'
I shivered. It's cold. And I feel so lonely.
Tears started to trickle slowly down my face again. 'Have you ever felt that you're just so empty, like something's missing, but you don't know what it is?'
'Yeah. I do. When I was little, my best friend was Aaya. He was my only friend. The only person my age I even remotely knew. We were practically brothers, but he could never listen to your problems with a straight face. Ever. He would find some way to make a joke of it and shrug it off. He didn't care. I didn't know what I was missing for quite a while. That's because I never had it in the first place to miss. I didn't realize it until the day I first talked with you. I needed someone serious. When we became friends, the empty space went away. I knew I was destined to always stick by your side no matter what the first time I remember seeing you.'
•And I knew that day I was destined to fall in love with you, and never fall out. I also knew that there would be a one in a thousand chance that you would return my feelings.•
I just basked in the warm feeling of being with Shigure. Every bit of lonliness was sucked out of me as glanced into the warm, brown eyes of my best friend.
My mouth twisted up into a small smile, and I pulled Shigure into a tight hug.
We just sat with our backs to the wall, drinking in the rare feeling of being held by another.
'I love you…Hatori.'
I started. 'W-what?' I looked down at Shigure, and saw that he had fallen asleep. He was so calm and relaxed, that I didn't have the heart to move him to his own room.
My arms tightened around my best friend protectively. Though, what I was protecting him from, I didn't know.
I rested my cheek against his silky hair and sighed. What did Shigure mean by 'I love you'? As a friend? Or…more?
He's too confusing.
But…what if he didn't mean as only a friend?
Because…I don't know if I could love him back.
Or could I?
No. I doubt it. I love Kana.
Loved.
Loved? Maybe so. Maybe she left…so I could fall in love with Shigure.
But…I don't know if I love him.
You people these days. Always in denial for their true feelings. Face it. You're in love.
No. Don't you think I would have noticed?
All you could tell was that you were never lonely around him the way you were with other people.
That's not love.
Do I have to argure with you all night? Just kiss him. That'll tell you you love him.
But…I-I couldn't!
Yes, you could. Now do it. Now!
Fine.
Why the hell am I doing this?
I'm proving it to you that you're in love with him!
And I'm trying to prove that I don't!
Gah! The 'voice' threw his hands up in the air in desperation. Just do it! I'll deal with it if he wakes up and you didn't like it.
Trying to calm the butterflies in my stomach and the rising blush on my cheeks, I bent down and slowly kissed Shigure lightly on the mouth. His lips were unbelivably soft, like velvet rubbed the right way.
Not wanting to wake him, I reluctantly (wait, wait, wait, wait. woah. reluctantly?) pulled away and looked down to make sure Shigure was still asleep.
His eyes were open.
I'm in deep shit. My face flamed. Voice? Help?
I have it all under control.
And what's your oh-so-brilliant plan?
I fall asleep in the back of your mind while you try to worm your way out of this.
I hate you…
'Oh, Hatori! Taking advantage of me while I was asleep! Surely that's beneath you!' A huge grin spread across Shigure's face and he crawled over me to settle himself in my lap. He brought his mouth close to my ear. 'But you don't know how many times I've had to restrain myself from jumping you in the night.'
My eyes couldn't get any wider. Voice, I think you might be right.
See? I always am.
'Th-th-then you l-like me?' I stuttered.
'Like? No. That word isn't strong enough. And neither is love. No mere words can describe what I feel for you.'
Shigure shifted until he was straddling my lap. 'But you can use love, if you'd like. Now…would you like to finish what you've started?'
I gulped, but Shigure didn't notice.
What have I gotten myself into?
Well, at least you know that you're in love.
Fine! I give up.
Shigure interupted any more thoughts by softly pressing his lips to mine, and in a way showing me that I really did love him.
I was tempted to deepen the kiss, but I wanted to tease him first. I pulled away, and watched his reaction.
Anger crossed his lust filled eyes. 'Hey! What was that for!'
'Just teasing.'
'You make me wait all these years of being desperately in love with you, and now I can't even kiss you properly?' His arms flew up in the air.
'Wait…years! How long did you save you've liked me?'
'Ah…ever since I met you, about fifteen years ago.'
'That long? Then I suppose youre in need of an apology for me acting like and idiot for not realizing it sooner.' Before I knew what I was doing, I had forced Shigure to the floor and was kissing him passionatly, and he was kissing me with back with just as much force. His arms looped around my neck and pulled me closer.
Shigure slowly licked my lower lip to ask entrance to my mouth, which I let him. His tongue engaged mine in a fierce battle which none of us cared who won. A groan escaped my lips as our teeth clacked together in a desperation that was unfamiliar to me even after being with Kana for so long.
I feel like I'm betraying her.
But is it betrayal if you love someone more than her? She found someone else, so isn't it fair that you do too? Shigure and Aaya were saying how they wanted you to find someone two thousand times better than her. I think you did a very good job, don't you?
Yes.