Here's the next chapter. Hope you like it!
Chapter Four: Against the Rules
August turned out to be a brutal month. The heat became so unbearable, that Serena could hardly go outside without feeling like she was going to faint. This was the case on several occasions when she had to go out for groceries. On one of these occasions, she was carrying a few bags to her door when the heaviest one split before she could put it down.
"Stupid thing. Why does this have to happen today?" She continued grumbling. She slammed the bags on the table and went out her door to pick up the contents of the broken bag. After she had cleaned up the mess, she slammed her door and began putting the groceries away like they had been bad children who needed to be spanked once and a while. When she heard a knock on the door she was in no mood to answer it, but didn't want to be rude so…She greeted her visitor with a frustrated face only to have it changed to a grimace. "Hi, Darien."
"You seem to leave things behind easily, Serena," he said, handing her a bag full of groceries. "You left them outside the elevator."
Serena grumbled to herself. This is just an annoying day that had better be over with soon, she thought.
"Do you need any more help?"
"No, thanks. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up, that's all."
"Please don't say that, Serena. I don't want you to even think that."
"I don't want to kill myself, if that's what you're implying. I'm just…uncertain. About a lot of things. I don't know what to do with my life, and I don't know why I'm telling you this."
"Serena, do you want me back in your life?"
"That is the question, isn't it," she said, her face made of stone.
"You're not helping, you know."
"I'm not in a particularly helpful mood, in case you didn't notice. I've got to put these away," she said, starting to close the door on him.
He stopped the door with one hand. "Yes or no, Serena." The elevator door opened.
"That's a really big decision to make," she said, putting the bag down by the door.
"Don't tell me that you haven't thought about it. That you weren't regretting your decision after the first month."
"You still think that you are everything to me. You think that you are the only man in the world, that you're the best man the world has ever seen. Well, Darien, it seems that you haven't changed as much as I hoped." After a long pause and some heavy staring, "I've always wanted you in my life, Darien. I'm just not ready to do anything involving the past right now. I just…I just want to have my baby and not think about anything else until then."
"I want to help you, Serena. I don't want you to go through this alone."
"You're going to make me cry, Darien. I'm serious. I don't know what to say to you right now. I know what I really, ultimately want, but for the time being, I don't know what to do. I'm probably not making much sense, am I," she said, exasperated.
"I understand you perfectly," his face dangerously close to hers.
"I am going to close the door on your fingers," she said in barely a whisper, still staring into his eyes.
There were nights of endless pleasure; it was more than any lousy love… She was desperately clinging to her sanity.
And with those fingers, he pulled her face to his and gently kissed her for the first time in four long, heartbroken years. He felt her heart pounding in his brain, and he could almost feel the rooms spin as he pulled away.
There were moments of gold and there were flashes of light. There were things we'd never do again, but then they'd always seemed right.
"Darien," she said in her most annoyed, and warning tone.
He grinned and turned towards his apartment.
She slammed the door as hard as she could and then locked it. Dam you, Darien, she thought. What an impudent little jerk! How was she supposed to respond to that? Well, evidently she had fallen straight into his trap. He wanted to get a reaction out of her, and he got it. Dam you, Darien. You don't play fairly.
But when you touch me like this and you hold me like that, I just have to admit that it's all coming back to me. But you were history with the slamming of the door. And I made myself so strong again somehow. And I never wasted any of my time on you since then… She tried to convince herself that she was not ready or willing to re-enter a relationship with such an arrogant man. Handsome…but arrogant, nonetheless.
"I saw that, Darien Shields. What do you think you're doing," Amy demanded.
"I'm getting myself back to where I belong. And I don't need any help doing it either, so don't bother lecturing me on the subject of your best friend. She's a big girl; she can handle herself."
"Oh, ha, ha, Darien. But I swear, if you put one more toe out of line, I will personally beat you senseless. I'm not kidding," she cried as she saw him begin to grin. "You are too pushy with her, and she's not ready for anything new yet. Just leave her alone."
"What if she doesn't want to be left alone? You know how a woman's mind works, so why don't you go talk to her. What if she has problems even functioning in the next month or so? Are you going to leave work every time she calls?"
"Speaking of work, shouldn't you be getting ready?"
"I suppose so."
"And iron your shirt, won't you? You look so unprofessional with a wrinkled shirt."
"I bet she told you to say that, didn't she?"
Amy had to sigh at the way he knew Serena so well. And she had to hang her head at the many ways that he didn't. Darien had changed a great deal for Serena, but he hadn't changed enough, apparently. He still held on to his unnecessary pride, and Serena would not tolerate it much longer. If three years to stew in his own self-pity wasn't enough, then a year with Serena would never be.
August and September flew by after that, and October rolled around in a lazy fashion. Serena was getting more anxious and irritable by the day. She kept receiving strange phone calls, and the caller never said a word, they just breathed into the phone. Her child was kicking more frequently, and she was finding it difficult to get comfortable when she even dared to try and sleep. "I just want it to be over with," she confided in Amy one evening. "It feels like I've been pregnant for fifty years. I'm just so exhausted."
"You probably need someone to come help you out. I don't think it's wise for you to be on your own. Generally, there's a man or family member to help the woman, Serena. Don't get all huffy with me. I know what you're thinking."
"And I know what you are thinking. I will not ask him to come help out. No matter how close he is."
"But it's so convenient. He can take a few days off of work to help out. You've only got a few weeks left, Serena. I know you've managed before this, but I don't want you taking any chances. I am going to ask him to help out. I'm sure that he'll be more than happy to help out. He's been pretty worried about you."
"He's just trying to seduce me."
"Serena, he loves you. And you love him too. You've never stopped loving him, so get off your high horse and let him help you," Amy said, trying not to smile.
"That's the most sensible thing that I've heard you say since you got engaged," Serena said, resignedly. "All right. I suppose you can ask him. Just don't tell him that I agreed to it. It will make him feel better if he thinks he's in control of the situation."
Darien took off the next month from work except in case of severe emergencies, and was at Serena's apartment at nine am the next morning. He had an armful of oranges, and another armful of boxes of tea bags.
"What are you doing," Serena asked.
"I'm bringing things to keep you healthy. We don't want a sickly child, do we?"
"Who's 'we'," Serena muttered.
"I heard that. And just because you said that, you owe me a thank you for my being so flattering."
"I never said it was flattering. Especially at nine o'clock in the morning. I haven't gotten a wink of sleep."
"It doesn't seem to have done the state of your apartment any harm," Darien said, looking around. "It's as clean as a whistle. Not like your room before you got married," he said, glancing at the official-looking papers laying on the table beside the door.
"Yes, well. I was quite a lazy person then. And besides, I'm nesting," she said, picking up the papers and putting them in a folder on the table. "A bit late, I imagine, but, better late than never."
"Agreed," Darien said slyly.
"I didn't mean you," she said defiantly, "and if you bring 'us' up one more time, I'll kick you out and down the hall back to your room."
"Well, even if you did, I'd have to come right back. Doctor's orders, you see. So, even if you get to be really crabby and annoying, I will stay put. I may have to go into the office every other day, but otherwise, we will be together for a month. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Doesn't that sound lovely?"
"Listen, Darien, we need to set up some ground rules. So, why don't we sit down and have some tea? Did you eat breakfast yet?"
"No, actually, I didn't."
"Well, then, you just make the tea, and I'll whip up some eggs and toast," she said, getting to her feet.
"How about I make both? You shouldn't be on your feet so much. Go, sit down."
Serena did as she was told. It was not a pleasant feeling, but it was nice to be sitting down for a change. They ate in silence until Serena brought up the subject of rules again. Darien, it seemed, had already made a few.
"First of all, no jumping me every second you get the chance. I can't deal with pushy women. Especially a pregnant, pushy woman. Secondly, you must not go down the stairs without male supervision. Third, you will do as little work as possible. I think Dr. Warner should have put you on bed rest a long time ago. Fourth, and most important," here his eyes leveled with hers, "you must let me kiss you goodnight. I didn't get to do it for four years, so I'm making up for lost time. There. You either agree to all of them or none of them," he said, seeing that she was about to protest.
And protest she did. "Only two of those rules are worth my following. The other two are either silly or for your own twisted advantage."
"Yes or no."
"Why do I have to put up with such immaturity? Darien, I don't know if I can live with you for a month. T-There are…too many memories, too many issues that we need to work through. I…am not ready to deal with them. I'll go mad!"
"You've got to be ready sometime, Serena. And anyway, you don't need to go through this alone. I'll be here to help you."
"Yes, but working for your own advantage! How can I--I compete with you and your crazy mind-games? You're just taking advantage of my situation, and you know it," she said, slamming her fork and knife on the plate, and getting up.
"Serena, wait."
"Darien," she said, sobbing, "you can't know how much--how much stress I'm under! I-I feel as though--as though I have no room to breathe! I can't move or-or turn my head without seeing another problem crop up. I don't know what to do, or if I should even be here! Should I leave and start somewhere new? What am I going to do," she cried, plopping down onto the couch.
"Serena, please don't cry," he said, kneeling in front of her and taking her by the shoulders. "Please don't. I'm here for you, Serena. I love you, and I'm here to help you. I want to help you! Please don't cry," he said, as she put her head on his shoulder and sobbed even harder.
In between the sobs that were causing her shoulders to heave up and down, she told Darien the whole thing. "H-He wanted the money that grandpa would give to me when he dies. He was telling his friend over the phone and the message machine was still running. He married me for a pile of money that I don't even want! Then he said that he was going to use it to run away with his girlfriend to Hawaii or something, and then marry her and give her the children that he didn't want with me. Oh, I don't want to be here! I don't want to be anywhere! I just--"
"Let's have none of that," he said in a slightly gruff voice. "You will stay here, and have your baby. And I will be here to take care of you. I promise you that; I will."
"Darien," she said in the calmest voice that she could muster, "you don't need to do that. I know you may want to now, but what happens later when my child gets older? I don't want you thinking that you have to help me then. It's not that I don't want your help, Darien, it's just that I don't want you to feel like you have to give it."
"I want to help you. There are no 'have to' or 'when I feel like its'. I will do anything I can to make this easier for you, Serena," he said firmly, all the while staring deeply into her eyes.
It was taking all of her will power not to say what she was dying to say. And her heart was aching to tell him that she loved him more than words could ever say. Instead, she whispered a thank you and turned her head from him.
"Serena, why do you have such a problem with being honest and intimate with me," he demanded, getting up and sitting next to her. He could see the resistance in her eyes. Unrequited love really was a struggle.
"Why does this feel like a soap opera? I'm getting really sick of this, Darien. I'm not lying about anything to you, Darien."
"Yes, but you're not telling me the truth either! You know, I never thought that I would see you again. I dreamed about it every night, and I thought about it all day, but I never believed that I'd see you again. I'm just as confused and worried as you are…but for a few different reasons. Can't you just say what you're thinking?"
"The last time I did that, I ended up 'making the biggest mistake of my life', didn't I?"
"Who's stubborn now? Who's arrogant and unwilling to change? Why are you berating me for being stiff-necked, when you, yourself refuse to let go and change," he cried. He immediately thought that he had been a bit harsh when he saw the shocked look in her eyes. Then he asked gently, "Can't we just let go of the past and move on?"
"I'm afraid to let go of it! That means letting go of three years of my life, this baby, and the way I used to know…everything! Everything about you, my friends, me, and anything I ever thought I knew about love!"
"Serena, how many times do I have to say this? I-am-here-for-you," he said firmly. "If I don't help you through this, I don't think that we'll get another chance!"
The phone rang at that moment, and Serena got up quickly, and said exasperatedly, "Hello? … Hello? Stop calling me," she barked into the phone. "Geeze! I'm never going to get a moments peace, am I?"
"Who keeps calling you?"
"Someone. I don't know who, they just keep breathing into the phone and never say a word," she said, trying to mask her mounting fear that it was her ex-husband. He would have gotten the papers and her ring by now. He was probably furious at the loss of 'his' fortune.
Darien gave her a skeptical look, but then said, "I think that you should try and get some sleep. Lack of sleep, especially in your condition, is not healthy. Off you go," he said, coaxing her towards the bedroom. "I'll clean up here."
"Help yourself to any of the alcohol on the counter. I cleaned him out. If I wasn't pregnant, I'd join you," she said as she turned into her bedroom and closed the door.
Author's Notes: Please review. I'm beginning to think that no one likes this story. I'm a bit arrogant, aren't I? I want you all to go out there into the murky waters of the internet and recommend this story to people! …..See? J I hope you liked it! I have three exams next week, so I'll be editing the next chapter at the end/middle of the week and posting it then. Thank you for all of your support! Ja!