Pippin opened his eyes to the bright morning and groaned. He just wanted it to go away. The sunlight and his family were his problems and all he wanted right now was to stay in bed forever, to drown out his pain in his dreams. Sleep was the only time of the day that he didn't feel it, this burning pain that constantly plagued him. His Merry was gone, had rejected him, and was likely to never come back at all. An image came to him of a long, lonely life without the one that he loved and it brought tears to his eyes. Another sharp pain hit him and made him lose his breath.
Three days, it had been three days since that day. Pippin's sister Pearl had found him passed out on the ground. Soon everyone connected Merry's sudden departure with Pippin's fainting spell and the rumours began to grow. But nobody knew the truth. Pippin's parent's had tried everything they could to comfort him, but all he wanted to do was sleep. He'd all but stopped eating; only going to the table when he was forced and even then only picking at his food and pushing it around his plate. He was losing weight rapidly, which was a serious thing for a hobbit.
Pippin was slipping back into sleep when his father came into the room
and jostled him awake. Five pairs of concerned green eyes were
focussed on him: his mother and father, and his three sisters, Pearl,
Pervinca, and Pimpernel. Without a word Pippin's father, Paladin,
hefted his son out of bed and carried him out of the room, heedless of
Pippin's protests. He carried him down the hall, which was a testimony
to how much Pippin had lost for he was as tall as his father and only
a little les wide, and out of the Smials and deposited him on a
carriage seat. That's when Pippin realized that he hadn't even
bothered to change his clothes the night before. Pippin looked behind
him and saw two bags that were no doubt full of his clothes and the
usual things he took with him on trips. For one harrowing second
Pippin thought that Paladin was going to take him to Brandy Hall and
demand answers from both him and Merry. But as Eglantine and his
sisters kissed Pippin's cheek Paladin looked at his only son and said
gruffly:
"Don't worry, lad. I'm not going to interrogate you. I'm taking you to
Frodo to sort this thing out on your own." His tone softened a little.
"Whatever happened between you and Meriadoc, I want you to fix it. A
Pippin without Merry is a very miserable Pippin indeed." The rest of
their journey from the Smials in Tuckborough to Hobbiton was spent in
silence and Pippin thought long and hard about how wise his father
was. But he also thought that if there was a solution, Paladin
wouldn't like it, no matter what it was.
Frodo was waiting for them at the door. Pippin supposed that Paladin had sent word ahead so that Frodo would be prepared for the state that he, Pippin, was in. As his eyes lit on his cousin, Frodo smiled in a sympathetic way and opened his arms wide. Pippins, forgetting he was all of twenty-one years old and that Frodo wasn't as young as he used to be, launched himself into that comforting embrace and let the tears fall immediately. Paladin busied himself by helping Sam take Pippin's bags into the hole.
"Shh, my little one," Frodo said comfortingly as Pippin cried into his chest. "Everything's going to work out. Just wait and watch." Pippin sniffed twice and nodded. Frodo handed him a handkerchief and led Pippin into the living room. Pippin said goodbye to his father and was a little disconcerted that Paladin hadn't specified a time that he'd be back for him. Pippin sat on Frodo's couch forlornly, waiting for the questions to begin. He wasn't disappointed but found that it was easier to talk to Frodo, almost as easy as it was to talk to Merry about any little thing.
"Why don't you tell me what happened, Pippin? If there's anything you
don't want to tell me, that's fine, but if you want to tell me later,
I'll be right here for you." Pippin nodded and pulled his knees up to
his chest.
"I made a terrible mistake," he started. Frodo nodded encouragingly.
Pippin took a steadying breath. "I fell in love. With Merry." No
change came over Frodo's face and Pippin was perplexed. "Aren't you
going to be mad at me too?" Frodo laughed.
"Of course not, silly goose. Why would I be mad at you? This sort of thing happens sometimes and when you're that close to someone, it's hard not to fall in love with that person's personality and even sometimes with their looks. Though it's rare, it's not completely uncommon," Frodo replied with a smile. Pippin felt a little better and more able to talk. He told Frodo about that day's activities.
"And then Merry came up to me and asked me what was wrong and I"
Pippin stopped and tears coursed down his cheeks. He'd thought he'd
cried all he was going to, that all of his tears had dried up like
creek beds or old wells. He tried to continue and found that his voice
was stuck in his throat.
"So you told him," Frodo said slowly, emotions playing in his voice from empathy, anger, and something a little more dangerous. Pippin wondered what had happened to make that strange look come into his gentle cousin's eyes. Pippin nodded consent and hung his head. "And he didn't take it well," Frodo continued, striving to keep his own emotions in check. Again, Pippin nodded.
"He told me the same thing as you did. That it wasn't unnatural and that he wasn't mad but that I couldn't feel this way about him. He seemed okay at first and then he… changed. He began to get angry, but it didn't seem like he was angry with me. And then he said that maybe he should leave so that I could get over my…. my abnormality and, then he made up his mind and told me he was leaving and that he may never come back. He was so cruel to me Frodo." Pippin's voice had become a whisper and his eyes went wide with the shock of it. "It was like Merry wasn't Merry anymore and he looked scared and he was just so…so harsh." He fell silent and stared at the wall as Frodo took a second to reign in his own emotions.
"Oh, Pippin," Frodo sighed as he ran his hand absently through Pippin's unruly auburn curls. "I had hoped that you would find a brighter future than I have." Pippin pulled out of his reverie and looked at Frodo with startled eyes.
"You," he asked incredulously. Frodo nodded with a sad smile. "Who was it, I'll teach them not to hurt my cousin," Pippin said as indignation came into his voice. How could anyone want to hurt his dear, gentle cousin? Frodo laid a hand on Pippin's arm to stop his objections.
"It's in the past, my dear hobbit. I've learned to live with it. But I don't want you to have to. Now I have a suspicion of our young Brandybuck that you may not have guessed. I'll have a talk with him in the morning and we'll see if we can't straighten this whole mess out for the better." Frodo's reassuring smile put Pippin at ease and he cried no more tears that night.