Yes, so we've been away for a while… stupid bloody school…

Callie! Don't swear in front of our younger reviewers!

OH Shut The f..…

QUICK! ON WITH THE STORY!

There was a ringing silence.

"Oh my God, I cannot believe you killed Legolas," Saz said.

"I have not killed Legolas, I just – accidentally tapped him with my sword," Vee explained.

"That's why he's lying in a heap on the floor," Holly put in.

"I mean Vee, if I'd just met Jack Sparrow, I would never kill him," said Saz reasonably.

"I DID NOT KILL LEGOLAS!" screamed Vee.

Aragorn, who was standing looking at Legolas pensively, said, "He looks dead to me."

"Always so cheerful," Saz remarked.

Vee dropped to the floor and laid Legolas' head in her lap. "Legolas, I'm so sorry I hurt you," she cried.

Suddenly there was a gigantic bang and the whirlwind came again, but this time stayed for longer, and a small shape materialised, surrounded by suitcases.

"Laura!" Saz yelled. Finally their best friend was here to share the adventure. Then her brow wrinkled. "What took you so long?"

Laura gestured around her. "It's not a quick job, you know, packing 27 suitcases with Vee's stuff."

Vee stood up. Legolas' head smacked to the floor with a crash. Vee seemed not to notice.

"MY STUFF!" she yelled. "Do you have my hair straighteners?"

"Quick, Saz, here's your bag, before Vee pounces." Laura threw a small bag at Saz.

"MY STRAIGHTENERS!" Vee screeched. "DO YOU HAVE THEM!"

Laura looked shifty. "Err… no."

"NO!" Vee was flabbergasted. "How could you NOT?"

"After 6 hours' worth of packing I just lost the will to live," Laura sighed wearily.

"Well, how am I supposed to get my hair straight?"

"Here, try this." Aragorn produced a small bottle. "It's a hair-straightening serum." Everyone looked at him. "Er… Arwen… gave it to me," he explained, looking shiftily at the ceiling.

"Aragorn, were you by any chance looking through Arwen's stuff?" Saz asked.

Aragorn flushed. "NO… anyway, here you go," he threw the bottle at Vee, "that should keep you quiet for a while."

Vee examined the bottle. "Lorealf? Lory…elf?"

Legolas' head shot up from the floor. "Lorealf? Where?"

"I told you I didn't kill him," Vee called from the corner, where she was applying liberal amount of Lorealf to her hair.

Laura looked at Aragorn. "I cannot believe you use Lorealf!" she laughed.

Aragon blushed. "Well, I'm worth it too."

Saz looked at him. "O…kay…"

"What?" he asked.

"Never mind."

Legolas stood up. "My head feels like someone dropped it on the floor!"

"Funny you should say that," said Saz. Everyone looked at Vee, who pretended not to notice.

"And… I'm remembering things…" Legolas continued. He looked directly at Laura. "Tell me, small one, what exactly is a skater boy?"

"Less of the small, elf boy," Laura snarled. Legolas took several rapid steps backwards.

"Look," Aragorn interjected. "We really need to go upstairs because the Council of Elrond is about to begin."

"Ooh, this is a good part," Saz said.

"What!"

"Never mind!"

Vee started bounding up the stairs. "Oh, and someone will need to carry my bags."

"Not me," said Hollie, touched the enchanted chains, and disappeared.

Saz and Laura sprinted up the stairs and out of sight before anyone could say, "Er… what about you?"

"Turn around, touch the ground, bagsy not me," Legolas and Aragorn said in unison, noticed they were the last people in the room, looked at each other, sighed, and each lugged an armful of suitcases up the stairs.

"You see," Legolas grunted, carrying 14 heavy trunks, "this is why there are no women in the Lord of the Rings films."

"What are they?" panted Aragorn. There was a pause.

"I don't know," said Legolas. "I don't know why I said that."

HA HA HA! THE POWER OF THE KEYBOARD PREVAILS!

R&R PLEASE!