Hey everyone, thanks for the lovely reviews! Although it is only around half the number we had before…

ERIN, be thankful you have any reviews at all!

I'm just saying! And also, if anyone has the UK LOTR ROTK PC game, play as Aragorn and press 666666666. It makes him walk like the marooned Jack Sparrow in POTC. Hilarity.

OK, on with the story. Don't forget to review.

OH yeah, and we don't own anything. Yet.

They entered the council several minutes late. Aragorn and Legolas were red in the face from carrying all of Vee's bags, and Elrond was glaring at them from his seat. They stood for a moment in the doorway, Vee entranced by Legolas, Laura looking rather uncomfortable as everyone present was taller than her, and Saz stood staring open-mouthed at all the people she recognised. Vee settled onto Legolas' lap and was rapidly pushed to the floor.

Elrond seemed to be halfway through speaking. He started his lecture all over again for the benefit of the late.

"As I was saying, friends of old, strangers from distant lands, you have been summoned here…"

"Oh, shut up!" Saz said. Everyone went silent. Not even the birds dared to sing.

"Wow. I don't think even Sauron can do that," she said, amazed.

The assembled crowd gasped. "Mention not the Dark Lord's name!"

Elrond had other matters on his mind. "You dare to interrupt me?" he roared at Saz.

"Yeah," she said.

"Uh-oh." Vee and Laura looked at each other and gulped. Elrond's face was growing redder and redder, but Saz seemed not to notice, so she continued.

"OK, well, now we're ready to begin. Frodo, bring forth the ring, and Elrond, SIT DOWN!" she barked.

Frodo walked forward and placed the ring on the table as Elrond sat down, defeated. Boromir of Gondor stood up; while he opened his mouth to speak, Saz turned to face him.

"And you can sit down too," she said.

"But I –"

"No! We don't want to hear about how we should take the ring for ourselves."

"But –"

"Sit down!"

"But –"

SMACK! Saz had run out of patience, and slapped Boromir around the face. The crowd gasped again.

"I'll sit down," he murmured as fingermarks appeared.

"Right," she continued. "Legolas, do not argue for Aragorn," she pointed at him, "because if you don't already know, everyone, Aragorn is the heir to the throne of Gondor." Boromir's mouth had dropped open. "Yes – Gondor, Boromir, Gondor."

Elrond stood up.

"Before you say anything, Elrond, I know the ring must be destroyed."

Elrond again sat down, mumbling something about women always taking over everything.

Gimli started advancing on the ring.

"Wrong move, Gimli!"

"What?"

Saz lunged towards Gimli and snatched his axe from his hands. He hurriedly sat down with his hands over his head as she began waving it around; everyone leant back when it came anywhere near them. It swished very close to Laura's nose and came within millimetres of Vee, who wriggled backwards to take refuge under Legolas' chair.

Vee looked at Laura through Legolas' legs. They knew they had to act. When Saz got into her control freak mode, it could get scary. Laura kicked Saz between the knees (the highest body part she could reach) and Vee stood up and removed the axe from her hands.

Then Vee looked around; she was standing in the middle of a silent circle like a deer caught in headlights.

"Um… well, basically, what she was trying to say is that Legolas, Boromir, Aragorn, that dwarfy thingy, Gimu, was his name?"

"It's Gimli," Gimli hissed.

"OK, well, yeah, also Gandalf, Frodo, and…" she paused. "Oh wait, Sam, Merry and Pippin, who are hiding somewhere around here…" three sheepish hobbits emerged from either in some bushes or up some steps, "oh, and me, Saz and Laura, of course, have to go to Mount Doom and throw in that… pretty ring…"

Aragorn, sensing the danger, grabbed Vee before she picked up the One Ring, dragging her back to the edge of the circle. There was a slightly stunned pause before Saz broke free from Laura and pushed her aside.

"And we all have to promise to stick together!" She glared at Boromir in particular.

"Till death us do part!" Vee cried dramatically, flinging her arms back and mildly concussing Aragorn.

"Then so be it," Elrond said solemnly. "You shall be… the Fellowship of the Ring." Then his face turned into a triumphant expression. "Hah! Didn't get me that time!" he yelled, and pranced off. Vee and Laura tried very hard to hold Saz back.

Remember… read and review, or Saz will attack you with an axe!