A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! You guys all rock. After this chapter there is just one more, which happens to contain... well there's not use sugarcoating it...there's sex in the next chapter. And it is a bit awkward, with the ending of this chapter because this was originally one whole story with no chpapters an I decided to shorten it into chapters. So sorry if it's a bit awkward. And MerryTwelve Days Till Christmas:D

Chapter 4

Merry was walking through the market, absentmindedly looking for the things on the list Frodo had sent with him. He was going through everything he knew about Pippin and, following Frodo's orders, trying to figure out what he liked and disliked about Pippin. He began to make a mental list in his head.

Things he liked about Pippin: His boisterousness and rambunctious personality. The way he always stayed light-hearted. The mischief and trouble he could get himself, and Merry, into and eventually get them out of. Things he didn't like about Pippin: His petulance; his childlike tendencies; the way he got himself, and Merry, into trouble.

Little things that Merry had never realized he'd noticed about Pippin came suddenly to the forefront of his mind. Pippin dancing with Pearl at her wedding; Pippin laughing while running away from Farmer Maggot; the way Pippin's eyes lit up when he was happy or excited; the way Pippin's smile lit the room. Merry dwelt on that particular feature for a moment: his smile lighting up a room or cheering him up. Merry remembered with a smile of his own how Pippin rarely lost that trace,
that shadow, of a smile, even in sleep. Except when he was upset. And, Merry realized with a fresh burst of guilt searing across his heart, he'd caused Pippin to lose even that ghost of a smile. He sighed heavily and continued his trek through the market.

What if Pippin refused to forgive him, refused to believe that Merry had had a change of heart? He cringed at the thought of Pippin rejecting Merry like Merry had rejected him. What have I done? he asked himself. A thousand images and moments of Pippin flooded Merry's brain and he realized what he'd really been searching for all this time: his heart. He steeled himself and began the walk back to Bag End; completely forgetting the errand Frodo had sent him on. Suddenly he stopped.

Something glinted in the sunlight, drawing Merry's eye to it. he walked to the vendor's stall and his eyes lit up, a smile forming on his lips. This was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

Pippin woke to the smells of bacon and the sounds of Sam in the kitchen. He got up, washed and dressed and came into the kitchen at the same moment Frodo returned from his walk. Frodo looked much happier than he had the night before and that gave Pippin some hope that today wouldn't be another day spent talking and crying. He'd decided that night that Merry was no longer worth crying over and that he couldn't spend the rest of his life pining for something unattainable. He sat at the breakfast table beside Frodo and gave him a smile that was only slightly less bright as his normal smiles.

"Good morning, Frodo," he said in a semi-cheerful voice. "I see you've already beaten me to a walk." Frodo returned the smile and helped himself to a biscuit. Sam came and set the breakfast food on the table for the both of them.

"Thank you, Sam," Frodo said as he began to dig into a pile of bacon. Sam nodded and began to wash the cooking dishes. For a while the only sounds were the eating sounds and the sounds of Sam finishing the dishes. After they'd finished with breakfast, Frodo let out a contented sigh and looked over at Pippin who had a similar expression on his face.

"I was hoping to talk to you about something Pippin," Frodo said. Pippin shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He was quite tired of talking, especially talking with Frodo about Merry. He just wanted to continue his life and learn to live without Merry. Frodo seemed to read his mind because he sighed and shook his head.

"I don't want you to learn to live with this, Pippin. No one should have to go through that," Frodo said. "Why don't we have a look at the garden that Sam's been working on? I think it's beautiful; Sam's best work yet. Don't you think Sam?" Sam blushed and mumbled something at the floor that soundly suspiciously like, "You're just sayin' that Mr. Frodo. 'Tain't no better than anythin' else." Frodo smiled cheekily at him and led Pippin out the kitchen door.

"I've talked to Merry, Pippin," Pippin shut his eyes against the tears he knew were sure to come. Frodo stopped and turned Pippin to face him. "He was confused and afraid, Pippin. He's still afraid and confused, but I think he understands better his feelings. I sent him to the market, to fetch some things, and I, well, I gave him a little advice." Pippin opened his eyes.

"What's he afraid of?" Frodo bit his lip.

"He's afraid of his father, Pippin. He's afraid of what his father would do to him if he reciprocated your feelings." A small ray of comprehension and hope came into Pippin's eyes.

"Does that mean…" he found himself unable to finish the sentence and he looked at Frodo with wide eyes. Frodo nodded.

"I think it does, Pippin, but you have to talk to Merry when he comes back." A door opening and shutting informed them of Merry's return. Frodo smiled at Pippin. "I don't want to get your hopes up, dear heart, but I hope for you, everything works out for the best." Pippin nodded and Frodo went inside to get Merry.

After a minute Merry came out and immediately began to search for Pippin. He headed straight to him and stood for a moment, marvelling at the thousand and one tiny things he'd just now noticed about Pippin. He truly knew his heart now that he'd seen Pippin in this new light. He walked to him and gingerly sat down beside him. Pippin was watching the flowers sway in the soft breeze, each delicate blossom creating its own dance in the face of the wind. Merry sat and watched with him for a moment, neither of them speaking or looking away from the differentiating and yet coordinated dance of the flowers. And then the breeze blew away.

"I'm sorry, Pippin," Merry said softly, looking down at the now-still flowers. Pippin nodded. "I just… I couldn't let myself think about it, you know? I was afraid of what may have happened between us, and now I might have ruined any chance of anything happening. I wish I had realized this before I lost you." Pippin finally looked over at Merry's still form, startled to see tears in his eyes. Pippin's hand resting on his own startled Merry and he looked up at it and then into Pippin's eyes.

"You haven't lost me, Merry," Pippin said and there were tears in his voice and tears welling in his eyes. "I've been here all along, you silly Brandybuck." Pippin smiled and Merry smiled back, glad to see him smile again.

"Pippin," Merry started. Pippin put his hand to Merry's lips and stilled the words. He shook is head.

"I understand it, Merry," he said. "I know why you pushed me away. Stop apologizing." Merry smiled and nodded. "Besides, I believe you have more important things to say to me, Master Brandybuck, and I'm beginning to lose my patience," Pippin concluded. Merry laughed and lightly pinched Pippin.

"Oh, Pip," Merry said, suddenly serious. "How could I have missed this? How could I have missed you?" Pippin shrugged.

"You must have been temporarily blind."

"Frodo sent me to get some groceries and he told me to think, about everything that we've done and I did. I thought about you and everything I liked about you and disliked and I was thinking about your smile and it just hit me, all at once, right here." He touched Pippin's hand to his heart and smiled. "It took me a while, but I finally found it, Pippin. I finally found my heart." Pippin couldn't stop smiling now, he was grinning from ear to ear as Merry said this to him and he was so giddy that he almost missed the most important part of Merry's speech. "Oh, Pippin, I realized while I was down there that I love you like you love me and I don't want anything to come between us again." He fumbled in his jacket and pulled out something, slipping it into Pippin's hand. Pippin looked down and nearly cried out. Resting in his hand was a gold ring big enough to fit onto his forefinger with a sapphire resting in the middle of it. The sapphire wasalmost the same blue as Merry's eyes and Pippin wiped at his eyes as he put it on.

"Merry, how…?" Merry's smile matched Pippin's as he pulled out a similar ring; silver banded with an emerald nearly the exact shade of Pippin's eyes on it. He slipped it on the same finger as Pippin's.

"I saw them in the market. the vendor said that they were for the person you truly love," Merry said reverently. His eyes were glowing as he stared at Pippin and Pippin felt his breath catch as he realized what this meant. These were Promise rings, one you gave to the person you wanted to spend your life with, and the other you wore.

"You… you…" He stuttered himself into silence as he stared into Merry's eyes. Merry's smile widened and he nodded. He closed the gap between them, first with his hand caressing Pippin's cheek and then his mouth meeting Pippin's with a tender passion. Pippin thought that his heart would explode from the emotional flood that he was feeling. Merry thought that this is what he'd have missed if he'd walked away from Pippin forever. Both felt content and more than willing to stay there like that forever in Frodo's back garden.

The kiss ended sooner than either wanted. An unspoken understanding passed between them and they both decided to keep their show of affections minimal around Frodo. Merry smiled as he thought about later that night and he laughed out loud at the fey gleam that came into Pippin's eyes when he thought the same thing.

They sat there like that, holding hands and watching the flowers grow, for a few minutes and then got up and walked together into the kitchen. Frodo looked up from his book and smiled when he saw the entwined hands and the rings. He saw the love in his two cousins' eyes and his smile turned to a wide grin. The lovers returned it and Pippin hugged Frodo tightly and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thank you Frodo," he said. "I would have given up if not for you" The look of pure love and desire that he gave Merry was enough to make shivers course down Merry's spine. Merry nodded.

"If you hadn't pushed me in the right diection, I would've never realized." He stopped and a dark look came to his face and quickly passed. "Or I would've realized it too late." Frodo's smile went, if possible, even wider.

"Well, now that reconciliation is done with, how about some lunch?"