Title: Clandestine Colorado Coffee

Rating: PG-13

Author: Bastard Snow

Summary: Fifth in the Coffee series. The Scoobies head west…

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Author's Notes: There will be at least 2 more fics in the Coffee Series. Probably some spoilers for Stargate Season 8. And Sam doesn't have a boyfriend. Oh, and thanks to Drake for editing. And there's probably other stuff I should put here, but I can't think of it at the moment.

Feedback: Yes, please!

"What's that?" Faith asked. She was looking over Xander's shoulder.

"Schematics," he said. "A layman's design for making a fire truck spew holy water."

"Really?" Faith asked. "Can't you just, I dunno… pump the truck full of the stuff?"

"Sure," Xander said. "If I can find a priest who'll bless the whole city's water supply, and the reserve tanks on whatever truck we use."

"So what's this for?" she asked, leaning over his seated form. She noticed him take a quick glance at her chest before focusing on the paper.

"Basically? It's a really big IV bag of holy water providing a constant drip into the stream. Holy water can be diluted pretty heavily and still have a big kick. I'm just trying to figure out how to mount the damn thing."

Faith leaned back and shook her head. "I can't believe you're seriously talking about doing this with a fire hose."

"Why not?" Xander asked. "Smack 'em with a ton of holy water and they'll fry before we see them. It cuts down on risks, which should cut down on casualties."

"Hey, anythin' keeps my ass outta the fire, I'm in favor of."

"Good lord."

Faith and Xander both turned to look at Giles. He was reading a couple pieces of paper that the bellman had brought up from the front desk.

"What's up?" Dawn asked. She, Buffy and Willow were just returning from getting food.

Giles handed her the paper, and Faith could see Dawn's eyes get wider as she scanned it. "Giles," she said. "This guy is no fake."

"I had noticed," he said.

"The Alderman Codex volume III? Does that mean he has the first two?" she asked.

"I was made to understand they no longer existed. On this plane, at least. Do you notice a theme running through the books?"

Dawn was shaking her head, still scanning the list. "Oh my God," she said, suddenly. "The Egypt thing."

Faith looked at Xander quizzically. He just shook his head in ignorance and turned back to his drawing, but Faith was interested in what the brains were up to.

"Egypt have some mystical… thing?" Faith asked.

"Numerous mystical 'things'," Giles said. "However, the one Dawn is referring to is a mystery that we have never been able to solve. Rumors of demons taking over bodies, and being infused with great strength, and certain changes to their character."

Buffy raised an eyebrow. "Sounds just like vampires."

"At first glance, yes," Giles said. "However, none of the writings indicate anything about them being banished to the night. None of the writings make any mention of a way to kill them. More than that, these demons became what, today, we recognize as the pantheon of Egyptian gods."

"What, you mean like Ra and those big-ass beetles and all that shit?" Faith asked.

"Precisely," Giles said. "In certain areas, the Egyptians seem to refer to their gods fearfully, but not as one fears a deity, more as one fears…"

"The boogeyman," said Dawn.

"Right. And yet, in others, the gods are revered. It has been a dichotomy that has puzzled Egyptologists for years."

"Egyptologists?" Faith asked. "They made a whole science out of that?"

"Mmm," Giles said, leaning back in his chair. "Quite a popular one, too. In fact, there was even a young man about a decade ago who theorized that the pyramids were built by aliens."

"What happened to him?" Faith asked.

"I believe he was laughed out of the room at his presentation, and then disappeared. The last I heard, the prevailing theory was that he had committed suicide."

"Giles," Dawn said. "We have to make up a list and give it to these guys."

"Of course," Giles said.

When the two of them began talking about books, Buffy and Faith quickly lost interest. Faith turned back to Xander to find Willow going over his drawings.

"Hey," Buffy said, looking around the suite. "Aren't we missing a couple of people?"

"Oh," Faith said. "General O'Neill gave Terry the day off. Not much they can do here, so they're out catchin' up. Sibling thing."

"Which I could do, too," Buffy said, "if my sister weren't a mini-Giles."

"Yeah, but you got a one-up," Faith said. "Dude's got a job he's gotta do, takes him wherever the Army says."

"Air Force," Buffy corrected.

"Whatever. Point is, you got a job takes you all over… but you can drop that any time you want."

"What do you mean?"

Faith shrugged. "There's other people can do what you're doing. You ain't alone in this anymore."

Buffy looked over Faith's shoulder at Xander and Willow, who were teasing each other over something. She smiled.

"The truth is," Buffy said, "I haven't been alone in this since L.A. I just didn't know it."

She brushed past Faith and sat down at the table with her two best friends. Faith looked at the three of them, and then at Giles and Dawn, engrossed in their books, and found herself with no refuge from boredom save her bedroom. She scuffed her feet across the carpet all the way to her room.

After five minutes of lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling, Faith reached into her bag and grabbed the book she was reading, something Willow had suggested called American Gods. At first she was wary, because the book was about an ex-con, and she still wasn't sure that the witch was entirely comfortable with her. But the book didn't suck, so she read it anyway.

"So what," Xander said from the door, a couple minutes later, "we have to invite you?"

Faith rested the book on her chest. "What?"

"Do we have to invite you?" he asked, only very slowly, as if he were speaking to someone who knew very little English, or was very, very stupid.

"Invite me where?" she asked, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"To sit down at a table and talk," he said. "Or do you still prefer the loner thing?"

Faith shook her head, her eyes still showing confusion. Xander sighed entered the room and sat at the foot of her bed. "We're really not that cliquish, are we?"

Faith shrugged. "Kinda."

Xander shook his head. "For years, we haven't had anybody but ourselves to rely on," he said. "It's kinda… hard-wired in at this point."

Faith nodded. She understood. It sucked for her, sometimes, but she got it. The Scoobies weren't just friends, they were family. Thicker than blood, and all that. She knew there wasn't a one of 'em wouldn't die for any of the others, and that was tight. But anyone else around 'em could get a bit lonely, sometimes.

"Listen," Xander said. "Anytime we're doing that, just sit down with us. We're actually quite nice, you know."

"Yeah?" she asked.

"I swear!" he said. "Even Willow. Sure, she can be catty at times, but…" Faith chuckled. Xander shook his head again and patted her on the leg. And Faith barely noticed the contact. Really. "Seriously. If we're ignoring you, just smack me on the head or something."

"I don't wanna intrude," she said.

"You're my friend," Xander said. "You're not intruding." She nodded. "Come join us?"

Faith smiled. "Finish my page and I'm there," she said.

Xander smiled at her and left the room. Faith smacked herself in the head with her book. "I gotta get over this thing," she muttered. She marked her place and went out to join the others.

----------

"Here you go," Jack said, holding out a few pieces of paper.

"Just put it down, if you would," said Daniel as he continued typing.

"Sure," Jack said, placing the papers by Daniel's keyboard. "What are you working on?"

"That translation from the ruins we found a couple of weeks ago. I hadn't had time to go through them until today, and I'm just finishing up," he said. "How's your mystery going?'

"Oh, solved," he said. "It's being taken care of."

"That uh…" Daniel said, looking up. "That doesn't sound like you, Jack. You usually take care of things, you know… personally."

"Yeah, well," Jack said. "I'm involved, I'm just not what you'd call 'hands on' on this one."

"I see," Daniel said. He went back to typing. "What's that thing you gave me?"

"You remember that list you gave me, of books you wanted?"

"Oh, you mean that list you took and filed away and haven't spoken a word about since? Yeah, I remember."

"Right, well, I gave it to some friends of Lt. Biggs. Anything with a check mark next to it they can get you copies of. The third page there is a list of things they're looking for."

"Oh," Daniel said, stopping his work again.

"Well, I'll be in my office, if you need me," Jack said. "So long."

"Bye," Daniel said. He squinted at the paper.

Jack went out into the hall and heard a loud crash from Daniel's office. He rushed back inside.

"Daniel!" he yelled, looking for his friend. Daniel stood up from the floor.

"I'm all right," Daniel said, picking his stool up from the floor. He gripped the papers in his fist and thrust them at Jack. "I need to meet these people."

"Why?" Jack asked, stepping back from Daniel's fist.

"Just in case they're trying to end the world," Daniel said.

Jack blinked at him, the shook his head. He turned and walked out of the room, muttering something about never, ever having anything be easy.

----------

Xander pushed open the door to the hotel's indoor pool. He tossed his towel onto a plastic chair, kicked off his flip-flops, and pulled his shirt off over his head, and made as if to dive in.

Across the pool, a shapely brunette chose that moment pop up out of the water clad in a barely-there red bikini that covered deliciously small amounts of her shapely backside. It was his own personal Ridgemont High moment.

Xander's attention was pulled away from his jump mid-stride, and instead of diving into the pool, he slipped and cracked his head on the edge of the pool, and slid off into the water, unconscious.

He awoke a few minutes later to find himself wrapped in a towel, with a hand-towel pressed to his head in lieu of a bandage. He was being cradled in Dawn's arms.

"Hey," she said as he came around. She smiled down at him.

"Hey," Xander said. "What happened?"

"You fell," she said, looking at him like he was a little puppy that followed her home. "Are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah," he said, sitting up and facing her. "I've been hit on the head one too many times for a little concrete to take me out."

"What happened to you?"

Xander opened his mouth when a sudden and horrifying revelation hit him. Dawn was the girl in the bikini. He shook his head to rid himself of the image, and promptly told the only half-truth available to him.

"Slipped," he said. "You know me… clumsy with depth perception, clumsier without."

Dawn smiled at him. "Come on," she said, standing up and reaching for his hand. "Let's get back to the room and put a proper bandage on that."

"Thanks," Xander said, taking her hand and standing. He slipped his shirt on carefully over his wounded head and slipped on his flip-flops, then began following Dawn back up to the suite. He quickly passed her and led the way to the suite. No sense tempting fate.

They arrived to find General O'Neill – and apparently a few of his friends – had come for a visit.

"What happened?" Willow asked, rushing to inspect Xander's head. Giles looked up from what appeared to be an in-depth conversation with a pretty blonde lady and a man who, Xander suspected, was O'Neill's friend who 'liked old books.'

"Nothing," Dawn said, sauntering into the room sans-towel. "Xander just slipped at the pool while he was checking out my ass."

"Dawn!" Buffy scolded. Xander could feel the heat rising on his cheeks and neck.

"What?" Dawn asked, one hand at her hip and the other casually holding the towel away from her body. "The windows were like mirrors, I totally saw him."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "We're all aware you had a happy puberty fairy. Go put some clothes on."

Dawn stuck her tongue out and retreated to her room.

"You'll be fine," Willow announced after applying a real bandage to his head.

"I know," Xander said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go change and die of embarrassment."

Willow followed him into his room and shut the door behind them.

Xander sat roughly down on his bed. "I didn't even know it was her," he said. "Until I woke up, that is."

"Sweetie," Willow said, kissing him on the forehead, "it would have happened to any of us."

"Not you, or Faith, or Buffy or Giles," he said.

"Don't be so sure about me," Willow said, sitting next to him. "Remember, 'right there with ya.'"

Xander laughed and shook his head. He stood up and started changing. "So what's with the army-types?"

"Book stuff," Willow said, not turning as he slipped into his boxers and jeans. "Some of the books Giles and Dawn asked about have dangerous things. They wanted to make sure we weren't in the world-ending business."

"How'd you clear that up?"

"Called the President."

"Ah."

"Yeah," Willow said, tossing Xander his deodorant, which he sprayed on liberally. "Useful. So now Giles and Dr. Jackson – that's their book guy – are all into it, and I'm sure Dawn will be, too."

"Who's the big guy with the golden brand?"

"Supposedly his name is Murray," Willow said.

Xander snorted his opinion of that, then pulled on another shirt – one without blood on it – and sat down next to Willow.

"Yeah, pretty much. Anyway, the thing on his forehead signifies obedience to Apophis."

"Who?"

"Egyptian god."

"Ah. So he's –"

"Not anymore, apparently. Though I don't know what it means if he ever was. They say he's fully a good guy, though."

"Good to know."

"Yeah. The woman is Samantha Carter, an astrophysicist."

Xander scrunched his eyes shut.

"So?" Willow asked.

"Like, Phoebe Cates."

Willow whistled.

"I get Carter," he said, switching back to the subject at hand. "O'Neill could just be up for retirement, but he doesn't seem like the type. Murray and uh…?"

"Daniel Jackson," she said. "Dr. Daniel Jackson, Egyptologist and linguist."

"Really?"

"Uh huh."

"And this has what to do with deep space radar telemetry?"

"Yeah."

Xander shook his head. "Sometimes I hate being so paranoid."

----------

End Chapter 2