I Write Sins Not Tragedies
A tribute to Panic! At the Disco
Oh, well imagine, as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor
…And Prince Charming and Princess Rory lived happily ever after.
The thought of their storybook ending reverberated in his mind over and over again and brought a smile to his lips. Long gone were the days where he would prowl the clubs and pubs in search of a beautiful bedmate for the night. He had forsaken his playboy ways the moment the "I do" escaped his lips. He could feel the added weight of the platinum wedding band adorning his ring finger. But once Rory graced his life with her presence, he knew he could never revert back to his womanizing ways. She stuck around long enough to look past the veneer and see that deep down he wasn't the self-proclaimed jerk. Even though he came off as annoying and slightly pretentious, Rory was the type of person who overlooked the flaws.
She was different. She wasn't some empty headed bottle of peroxide. She was strong-willed and extremely witty. Most of the time, he couldn't comprehend half of what she was saying, but he would politely nod in the appropriate places and make the occasional mmmhmm to signal his interest. The sound of her voice was extremely therapeutic and he could admire her beauty while she animatedly spoke of trivialities.
All his life could be summed up in one word—lucky. He was a jetsetter with a well endowed trust fund who led a privileged life. Friends would come and go, but money would always be there for him. Rory and money—the two were luckily inextricably linked. He had to uphold his family's honor and Rory was of good breeding, deepening his affection for her. His parents had established amiable relations with her grandparents long ago and the union more than thrilled the two families; it was good for business. Her grandmother commented on how quaint they would look on the front page of the society announcements.
In front of a congregation of esteemed guests, Rory had transformed him from a lucky man to a lucky husband and for this he would spend the rest of his married life catering to his young bride's every material whim.
"Where is my bride?"
After their kiss at the altar, Emily had whisked her off for an impromptu photo session. Apparently the photographs taken earlier weren't up to par with her refined taste. With the wedding reception being held on the Gilmore estate, it would take him hours to search each room.
And I can't help but to hear, no I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words
Spotting Rory's maid of honor casually sipping champagne, he decided that his best bet would be to ask her about his wife's whereabouts. As he approached her, he couldn't help but eavesdrop on her conversation with the waiter.
"What a beautiful wedding! What a beautiful wedding!" says a bridesmaid to a waiter.
"Lane, you have to thank Rory for hooking me up with this job. The booze is free as long as no one's looking and the pay isn't too shabby either."
"Zach, you know Rory's more than happy to help. God, look at this place. Have you ever seen anything this magnificent outside of a movie?"
He couldn't help but smirk. Rory's small town friends never did get out much. They were trapped in their small town and never really experience life. Fortunately, Rory had the sense to desert Stars Hollow—even if it was precipitated by a falling out with her mother.
"Just think. Rory will be moving into a house this awesome. She's really living a fairytale. "
"Too bad her fairytale's about to come to a screeching halt."
"What do you mean Zach?" a look of concerning growing on her face.
"Look, I didn't want to worry you, but I saw her earlier getting awfully close to some guy…some guy that wasn't her husband."
"And yes, but what a shame, what a shame, the poor groom's bride is a whore."
His ears were pounding and he could feel his blood rushing. Curling up his fists, he raced up the stairs, frantically searching for her. He quietly crept across the hardwood floor. There was no point in scaring him off. No, if this Zach character was telling the truth, he wanted to personally acquaint his fist with his cheek.
His search was proving fruitless until he reached a corridor in the east wing bearing the portraits of the Gilmore forbearers. He moved stealthily until he reached a door ajar. Inhaling deeply, he slowly pushed the door, preparing himself for the worst.
I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door!
"Rory!" he spat out, his words laced with malice.
Face flushed, wedding dress adorning the floor, she untangled herself from a searing kiss and scrambled to cover her body. "This isn't what it looks like," she said without much conviction.
"This isn't what it looks like? Do you take me for a fool?"
"Robert, I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen." She added an "I swear" to make it more plausible.
"You've always been a terrible liar Rory." He inched his way closer to the bed. "I thought you were happy. I thought I made you happy."
"I was and you did Robert, but then–"
"But then Prince Charming waltzed back here and confused you, right?" he finished. "You forfeited all claims to her years ago Huntzberger. Rory's mine now," he said with contempt.
Logan, unabashed by his nudity, stood up from the bed and faced Robert. "Ace was never yours," he said coolly.
"Rory is mine. We're married," he retorted through gritted teeth. His clenched fists waited at his sides for the provocation that would put them to use.
"Robert, Robert. You claim you're no fool. Legally, Rory might be yours. But every time you looked at her, every time you told her that you loved her," he paused for dramatic emphasis, "every time you fucked her, it's me she was thinking of. Not you. Only me," he said delivering the decisive blow.
Fury coursed through his veins like venom and his fist collided sharply with Logan's jaw.
"I see you've improved since our school boy days. This one might actually leave a mark."
"Bastard," he muttered, throwing another punch. He felt the diamond-encrusted ring cut into Logan's bottom lip, the impact causing it to swell. "You left her, and I was there to pick up the pieces." Another punch connected with his other cheek. "I gave her the love you never could." Another hit.
"But now I can," Logan confessed through a bloody lip, never once throwing a punch.
Rory's pleas to stop fell on deaf ears, as Robert wasted no time in hitting his nose. "You're too late. I've won," he said amusedly watching as he fell to the floor, clutching his nose as it bled profusely over the white satin gown. "Don't worry Rory. Club soda will erase the stain."
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
"Come now Rory, the guests are waiting," he said with an air of composure.
Well in fact, well I'll look at it this way, I mean technically our marriage is saved
"This was a mistake," she said solemnly, her eyes brimming with tears.
"We'll forget this ever happened." He made his way over to where she was standing and enveloped her in his embrace.
Well this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne
"No, no Robert." She pushed him away and removed her ring. "This was a mistake."
"How can you say that? I love you."
"And I love him." She walked further and further away from Robert and closer to Logan's crouching figure. She gently helped him up and covered him with a sheet and they walked out of the room, fingers interlaced.
"This is how this fairytale was supposed to fucking end."