Title: Revenge is a dish best served with unicorns.
Disclaimer: Don't own any of them. They belong to Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon. Oh, and My Little Pony doesn't belong to me either, I think it belongs to Hasbro.
Feedback: Not completely happy with how well I expressed Wesley's motivations behind hiring Harmony as Angel's secretary, so constructive criticism welcomed. Also, if someone can suggest a better title too…
"This paperwork is killing me."
Wesley didn't look up from his notes. "You're already dead, and therefore in no danger of being killed."
"I am in serious danger of getting some nasty papercuts." Angel whined. "Shouldn't I have, like, an assistant or something?"
Wesley looked up from his seat across the other side of the desk and at the pile of paperwork mounted up between him and Angel. He could just about see the top of Angel's hair spiking out from above the mountain of documents.
He sighed. "Fine, I'll arrange someone suitable to fill the position."
Later that morning…
After a busy morning of making recommendations to fire over half his current staff, and then setting up counter-curses against spells cast by said staff, Wesley surveyed the employees of the office typing pool.
He let his gaze wander over the bent heads, busily at work, typing away at the computer keyboards, the desks decorated with little personal touches, potted plants, photos of family members, a blessing of unicorns, an altar to the demon Gracknoor, a …, wait, a blessing of unicorns?
Wesley walked over to the desk in question, the chair in front of it empty, he sat down and stared at the My Little Pony screensaver. Unicorns and ponies? Were they now employing a 12 year old girl?
"Hey, that's my seat that you're sitting in!" Wesley's seat was suddenly spun around forcefully and he found himself looking up at the face of a vampire he wasn't happy to see at all. Harmony.
"Wes, oh my God, how are you, I totally…"
Wesley tuned Harmony out and cast his mind back to when Harmony had temporarily joined their agency, whilst in L.A. visiting Cordelia. Cordelia hadn't been bothered at all by the fact that Harmony was a vampire, and had been still treating her as if she were her best friend from high school. Angel had been no good at persuading Cordelia that this was a bad idea, because at the time he was trying to get back into Cordelia's good graces. He had upset her upset her previously by relentlessly pursuing his sire Darla and his vampiric child Drusilla, an act that led him to ostracizing and then firing his friend's, and most importantly to Cordelia at least, giving away her clothes to a charity. Unfortunately for Angel, this had made Cordelia less than charitable at accepting him again as a friend after he came to them all to ask their forgiveness for his behaviour. It was only after buying her a whole wardrobe-full of new clothes that she again began to treat him as little more than a work colleague again.
Harmony herself had been an absolute nuisance. She had asked tiresome questions, popped gum incessantly and then had torn a page from a very rare and valuable book in order to wrap around said gum. Wesley could feel himself getting irritated just from the mere memory. And what had Angel's response been at the time? To get Harmony some blood. Cordelia's actions he could understand, what with Harmony having been her friend but Angel had never met Harmony before, and there he was, serving Harmony blood and saying that they should give her the benefit of the doubt. And where did it all lead them? To being betrayed by Harmony to a vampiric pyramid scheme. After this, Cordelia had told Harmony to get out of town, but it would seem Harmony had decided to return and join the rank and file of Wolfram and Hart.
Wesley's pager went off. He glanced it, still ignoring Harmony as she chattered on. It was Angel for the 3rd time that morning –I'm being buried, they'll be able to light my funeral pyre right here!-.
Suddenly, Wesley felt very happy to see Harmony. Pushing himself up off her chair, he grinned at her.
"Harmony, come with me. I have just the job for you."