For the disclaimer, get some exercise, move that finger and look at the last chapter. Sorry, but too lazy right now to right another one. Lol.

CHAPTER TWO: DOOM! and Ringo Starr

When Harry woke up (undoubtedly to his DOOM!), .029283845758 (and a half) seconds later, he was greeted by the person who had been there .029283845758 (and a half) seconds before: Draco Malfoy. "HA! Potter! What! Do! You! Think! Of! That?"

Harry stared into space, trying to recollect what had happened. All he remembered was Malfoy, his hand over his mouth, pinning him to the floor. He looked around and….the mirrors! He had seen something. Was it a vision? Did Voldemort see visions too-a seer, maybe? Was he going to become even cooler and more heroic and popular? Oh no, this was just too rad.

And then he looked in the mirror, and his jaw dropped. "Gasp!" he said. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And he curled his knees up to his chest, folding his arm around those, and tucking his head between his knees, crying in his DOOM!

Malfoy shrieked gleefully, hopping around and taking pictures with a…….wizard camera? Ya, that's the one…..a wizard camera. Merrily he skipped, admiring how clever he was, and the amazing resolution the photos of Harry curled up into a ball rocking back and forth were coming out in. He liked cameras. Cameras were special. Camera, camera, camera. They were good for blackmail.

Dobby, always there when Harry needed him, popped out of the (place random noun here) and comforted him, patting his head and questioning him, "What has happened to Harry Potter? Dobby wants to know, sir. Please tell Dobby, sir."

Harry raised his head and looked at Dobby, wondering if this ugly, disgusting, horrible, yet terribly cute creature could be of any help. Dobby stared back, astonished at what he saw.

The boy-who-lived saw Dobby staring and admitted it to the world. "I admit it to the world! My hair is straight! Not playfully messy! And my eyes are a dull gray-blue, not a fierce impassionating green! I'm….I look…..exactly like……………Ringo Starr!" He burst back into tears.

"Dobby thinks this is not all that bad, sir. Dobby likes Mr. Starr, sir. If Dobby might say so, Ringo Starr is rather handsome."

Harry, in his state of shock and distress, had begun hallucinating. As usual, first he saw his mom screaming loudly, saving his life, and dying….yadda-yadda-yadda. Then he saw Ginny saying he looked rather handsome as Ringo Starr. He awoke from his pleasant figment of the imagination and saw it was Dobby. A house-elf. An ugly one. And burst into tears. Again. Oh, the angst.

Malfoy, being ignored by the author of this fanfiction, decided to pop in again. "I am DRACOMALFOY. And, Potter, in case you're too stupid to realize this-which you undoubtably are, I screwed up the entire plot of seven best-selling books!!!! Mwahahahahahahahacough. J.K. Rowling enforced the idea of you having your mother's eyes so much that it must have some relevance to the plot-or she had writer's block!! Nyhaa! And now you won't be able to meet the half-blood-prince! Neener neener!"

Harry sobbed, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnd I don't don't don't-I can't say itcough sniffle choke I don't look good!"

Dobby sighed, "Oh the trials of being a teenager, sir." And popped back out through said random noun.

Malfoy, during Dobby's one-liner, had been staring intently at Harry, head in his hand. "You know, Potter, the house-elf's right. You do look hot."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!," screamed Harry, running into the cabin Hermione and Ron were sharing and crashing into the mirror door, trying to see if he really did look hot. Oh. My. Dearie Me.

Well, that's that till next chappie, folks...Except for one. last. warning. Bwahaha.

You. Must. Review. Or. I. And. My. Fellow. Fanfictionists. Will. Hunt. You. Down. DOOM (trademarked...teehee).