This is personally one of my favorite chapters, and I really would like to own it, but for some reason the computer says i don't. Something to do with co-pee-rig-ha-tis...

CHAPTER FOUR: He practiced, you see

Once again, Harry was stuck in a train room/booth/thing (yes, thing) with Ron and Hermione. Hermione was still knocked out and lying on the floor, but who cares! Southern Preacher Person had been much more interesting.

Ron sat down next to Hermione, patting her entity of hair gently. He did so for several minutes, while Harry stood, feeling out of place, and thinking about all the random events that had just happened. Finally he sat down with a thump.

Ron looked up from Hermione's peaceful face and mountain of frizz, "WTF! How the bloody hell are you?"

"Harry….Harry Potter."

"Do you have-the-the-you-know?"

"Oh. Yeah," replied Ringo, lifting up the very long hair over his forehead and revealing a scar- in the shape of a yellow submarine!

"That's not a lightening bolt! And it's yellow! Ew."

"It is too a lightening bolt! You see….if you look at it…sideways…….."

"Well, in that case, Harry!"

"Ron!"

Hug, special uplifting music…

Harry and Ron spent the next thirty minutes looking at his new and improved scar from different angles, trying to see exactly where and how it looked like a lightening bolt.

"Ya….I think… I see it now," said Ron, standing on the ceiling.

All of the sudden a terrible crash was heard, and Ron hit the floor with a bang.

Hermione happened to wake up at this point in time. "Hey, who are you, and what have you done with Harry?"

"I am Harry."

"Oh. Okies!"

"What was that crash?"

Luna sauntered in, looking cooly at Ringo, "Ahh….transformations into famous people on the train to Hogwarts….the snigllevusses must be at it again."

Everyone ignored her.

"The train stopped! Something's wrong," exclaimed RingoHarry, hero senses tingling.

"You're so brave, Harry," swooned Hermione.

"You're so brave, Harry," imitated Ron in a sing-song voice, sneering. "Neer neer neer neer…"

"The snigllevus might come and kill you, Harry," added Luna wistfully.

Harry ran to the door of the compartment, pushing it open, and looked over his shoulder nagging, "Well….Are you coming or not!"

"Harry, you know we would never miss one of your adventures! We're your friends," said Hermione, elbowing Ron in the side and coughing loudly.

HarryRingo's heart swelled visibly. "Oh, Hermione!"

"Oh Harry!"

"Er…oh, Harry, Hermione! Ow! Um, and Luna!"

Hug…music…

They ran towards the front of the train.

Harry led, running in sloooooooooooo mooooooooo(Hermione decided this might add to the dramatic and actiony feeling of the situation). Other students had begun to get out of their compartments and look around, asking each other what they thought had happened. Suddenly a Ravenclaw girl pointed in the direction of the four students running in slooooooooow-mooooooooooooo. "It's Ringo Staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarr!"

"How do you know?" asked a blonde Hufflepuff, standing beside her.

"I'm a Ravenclaw, I know everything."

"Oh. Right. It's Ringo Staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarr!"

Fan-girls(and a few boys) ran in HarryRingo's direction (in slooooooooo mooooooooo), screaming and trying not to trip as they searched their robes for papers and pens.

Harry stopped running. "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat Dooooooooooooooo Weeeeeeeeee Dooooooooooooo?" the shaggy-haired lad asked, deep voice an added affect of the slooooow moooootion process.

Before he began to ask again, Ron sluggishly ran in front of Harry, jumping sideways, right in front of the flow of fankids.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted Harry, Ron, and Luna in unison. Harry continued the "OOOOOO!" for a few extra seconds. He liked yelling. He practiced, you see.

"Gooooooooo oooooooooooon wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiithout meeeeeee, Riiiiiiiiiiiiiingo!"

Hermione fought back tears(very slowly) and Harry nodded solemnly (very slowly). Luna stood, staring into space (very slowly). Hermione brought out her wand (slowly), adjusted the rules of time and space (slo- oh.), and tugged on Harry's sleeve, "Let's go."

Harry began running in recognition, skipping from fankid's head to fankid's head. The fankids who hadn't been brought down by Ron's selfless act, backed against the wall, nodding in recognition of the heroic act they realized was being done.

The remaining heroes who hadn't been knocked down by crazed fangirls sprinted towards the front of the train. They happened upon no further obstacles until the compartment nearest the conductor's area.

Inside was standing a Hungarian Horntail. His fangs were bared, watching the three out of the corners of his vertical pupils. Her black scales blended in with the darkening room, night was upon them. All HarryRingo could see was the pair of yellow eyes, gazing intently on the three, unblinking. HarryRingo's hero sense tingled again, he knew exactly what to do. (Ooooooooooooo…)

For a detailed description of what happened, open your copy of HP 4 and read P. 353-356, starting with "to focus his mind, entirely and absolutely, upon the thing that was his only chance…," and ending with "he had seized the golden egg-")!

HarryRingo had seized the golden egg! Hermione's and Luna's cheers could be heard above those of the crowd. Dead Bagman had even spoken down from Heaven during the event, it was so spectacular.

HarryRingo held the golden egg in his arms, triumphantly raising it above his head, and sailing back towards the ground, dropping the random Firebolt.

Think, Harry, think, what do I do now?

A lightbulb (so, muggle inventions are good portrayers of a sudden idea-don't blame me) appeared above HarryRingo's head. "I know!" proclaimed Harry triumphantly.

Harry threw the golden egg at the dragon's stomach. The Horntail clutched its stomach with it's scaly hands, spinned around thrice, and keeled over dead.

And Harry defeated the dragon in only seven paragraphs! Ooh, Aah…

HarryRingo, hands on his knees and bent-over, gasped for breath. Luna and Herm stared at HarryRingo in awe. Ooooooooo…

"We'd best be going, then," said Luna after five minutes of staring at HarryRingo in awe while he was posing heroically, paparazzi snapping pictures every second.

HarryRingo stopped mid-pose and glanced at Hermione, who was also looking at Luna, confused.

Luna noticed them, "What?"

"Well….we thought you'd be staring into space for the next ten minutes, fantasizing about snigllevusses," said Hermione. HarryRingo nodded.

"So?"

"So, why did you remind us that we should get along with the plot?"

"Because."

"Because what?"

"Because the author felt sorry for me, as I didn't have any lines since I last mentioned that Harry might be murdered tragically by the snigllevusses. And she thought we should get along with the plot."

"But we're not doing that now," pointed out Hermione.

"Doing what?" said Luna absently, staring off into space and fantasizing about snigllevusses.

"NEVER MIND!" exclaimed HarryRingo. He liked to yell. He practiced, you see. "Let's just go," he said, pushing Luna past the deceased dragon, towards the conductor's door. Hermione followed, trying to catch the paparazzi's attention, but failing miserably.

Harry attempted to open the door, but it was locked, or stuck. He didn't care, he just had to get past it and save the day!

"Alahamora!" shouted Luna, pointing her wand at the lock.

"You're acting suspiciously out of character today, Luna. I think it would have been more appropriate if I had done that."

Luna didn't respond, she was staring off into space fantasizing about snigllevusses.

"Shitoki mushrooms!" shouted HarryRingo. "Damn! It didn't work!"

"Oh, move over!" said Hermione, rolling her eyes. She kicked the door, sporting large combat boots and camouflage pants. "Hiiiiii YA"

It swung open, revealing a house-elf drinking a frappacino, his legs up on what appeared to be a control board. Funny, having a control board on a train which could have easily been run by magic.

"Vanilla or mocha?" asked Luna, interested.

"Uh…Mocha," grunted the pot-bellied elf, checking the felt-tip marking on the side of his cup.

"What happened here?" asked Harry, hands on his hips.

"The train stopped."

"Why?"

"Dunno. Dun care. I just work here," replied the elf with a flick of his hand, "go away."

"Not until we get the train moving."

"Harry, you search the train for some lever to get it moving again. Luna, you do the same. I'll try to call for backup."

"Kk!"

"Ya."

Luna turned the left and begin searching the walls for any kind. HarryRingo did the same on the right.

Hermione, remembering S.P.E.W., politely dema-asked the house-elf to move out of the seat, and when he refused, politely shoved him off. She sat down and began fiddling with the controls.

HarryRingo ran his hand along the wall, constantly glancing over his shoulder at Luna. He couldn't let her find the switch. He couldn't let her be the hero! Arghgrmurmbleblehblehmumblemumblegrruffgrumgrumgrummeeniemeeniemeenie…He wanted to yell. He liked to yell. He practiced, you see.

"Hermione, I think I found it," said Luna, dispassionately, moving her hand towards a switch with big red letters above it: "ON/ OFF."

HarryRingo glared at Luna, then decided this was a good time for a heroic, heartstopping moment of suspense. "LUNA! NOOOOOOOOOO" and ran towards the switch, diving ohsolike superman, hoping to hit it before she did. Luna hit the switch, and the train began moving.

HarryRingo narrowed his eyes at Luna, then snatched at the wall. He hit the on/off switch again, and the train stopped, causing a loud, collective moan to echo from the back of the train. He swelled his chest, and immediately hit the switch again. The train lurched forward for a second time.

"Ah…I see the train has begun moving again. Well, looks like just another job well done!" he smiled, pleased. He deepened his voice to sound more like Superman, who is very cool.

"You're so brave, Harry," swooned Hermione.

Remember, folks: POINTLESS IS GOOD. AS IS STUPID. so take the time to review. pleez. Yes, REVIEW, damn it,its what you do when you read fanfics. We're gonna run out of chapters to post and WILL NOT POST MORE IF WE DONT GET REVIEWS. Arrrrr.Now, please stop reading this and review. No, I mean it. Really. Stop. Just...STOP IT! FINE! see if i care, wasting your time on an equally pointless end note instead of reviewing like good little readers! argh! dear, sweet jesus in heaven, what is this world coming to? (throws hands up into air, retreats back into depths of bedroom) Ow! coca, stop it! no! ow! fine then, be that way! (pops head back out) Er, please. Ow! alright! prettyprettypleaseillbeyourbestfriendforeverandeverandyoucancometomybirthdaypartyand-(coca hits her again) just...review.

(cheesy music) AFTER CHAPTER TRIVIAAAAA!: Judging by our bio, which member of the threesadlostogslightlymadsouls wrote that end note! Winner gets to choose between a tea bag, a spatula and a set of waterless cookware! The answer is coming up next on The Next Chapter, after these brief messages!

Oh, and a big thank you to broadway brunette for being our first and (coughonly) reviewer so far...u rock! Oh, brunette, why dont u have a bio? bio's are fun. heehee...

Of course, this has only been up for less than three days total, but ya know, ahm a busy woman, Ah cant just spend mah tahm waitin aroun' foa one review, peeple, gimme a break hea...honestly, I don' get no respec'...REVIEW!