And sometimes I can't help but wonder why I ever bother.
I saw him in the office again. Piercing blue eyes that seemed to ring in his presence passed over me for just a second, and then they looked over at the next cubicle. My heart stopped beating for a single moment, and then quivered maniacally as I almost unconsciously let out a huge whoosh! of air. Why I ever thought he was looking at me rather than at just another employee, I'll never know. Mulling over my own idiocy, I shook my head and continued typing.
I had been working as a paralegal secretary for a little over two years. It was a dead-end job, considering I had a BA in law. No one ever tells you that a BA isn't worth shit anymore. Now that even a high school drop-out can get a degree, you either need a master's or you're stuck being some obnoxious lawyer's bitch until you can collect social security. That's what's happened to me. Except it seems that I've become a hot obnoxious lawyer's bitch.
Though it wasn't in the sense that I would have liked.
We had gone to high school together.
I don't know what was worse. That he kept me from committing suicide at the height of my depression. That we would have been in a relationship had it not been for my own insipid shyness. That he's now one of my superiors. That he has his eyes on the girl in the cubicle across from mine who pays him no mind. Or the fact that he doesn't even seem to remember me.
"Ayame, are you daydreaming again?" I blinked and looked up at the voice. "Eh? Oh, Kagome." I yawned and tried to make my dazed look seem like exhaustion. "I didn't get enough sleep last night."
"Dreaming about Mr. Ookami again, huh?" The words were meant to be teasing, and that only made them more irritating. "No," I replied sternly. "I have a life, you know. Just because I'm not out helping my boyfriend keep away from the cops doesn't mean that I don't have a life."
I knew the words were too harsh as soon as they left my mouth. I looked up at her and saw that Kagome's large brown eyes saddened a bit. "He's not my boyfriend," she responded quietly. "Not anymore. You know that." Knowing that this was going to lead her into a long explanation on what her current status with Inuyasha was, I breathed a sigh and quickly changed the subject.
"Hey, are you going to that Christmas party on Friday?"
Kagome perked up a bit. "Friday? I plan to, but I have to see what Inuyasha wants to do." I smirked as I queried, "But I thought he wasn't your boyfriend?" A small tinge of pink touched her cheeks as she pretended to concentrate on the files in her arms. "He isn't. But… but…." I couldn't help but laugh, telling her to forget it. "I've got work to do. No time to interrogate the great Miss Higurashi." She seemed about to drop it, which was just as well… hearing about all the guys who wanted her made me feel pretty damned lousy about myself. Her fake innocence only made it worse, considering those short skirts she wears around the office.
As she turned to leave, she stopped and asked, "Hey, are you going to be at the party?" I shook my head as I turned back to my computer. "Nah. I can spend Friday nights doing much more productive things." Though I wasn't looking at her, I heard her high-pitched giggle as she said, "And much more productive people, such as Mr. Ookami, I'll wager."
My mouth dropped open in a silent "o" and I turned to give her an annoyed reply, but she was already making her way to her desk. Despite how nicely I treated her, I was only civil to her because she was the new girl, and a bit of the outcast. In truth, I couldn't stand her, and not just for the way Kouga shamelessly flirted with her right across from me. There was just something about her that left a bad taste in my mouth.
"Ah, if looks can kill, the entire building would suddenly implode upon itself." I started slightly and looked up, seeing that it was one of the younger lawyers, Miroku Okinawa. "Mr. Okinawa! I'd think that you'd be polite enough to not intrude." He was leaning over the wall of my cubicle that he stood behind, looking down at me with that almost-invisible smirk that he always seemed to have planted on his face. "I wasn't aware that I was intruding, Ayame. Just thought I was checking in with some of my secretaries."
"I'm not one of your secretaries, Mr. Okinawa. I'm under Mr. Ookami." The invisible smirk became a little more visible as I realized my own pun. "I'm sure," was all he said. "Although, you seemed to have missed the fact that my calling you by your first name means that you can refer to me by mine. I think you might be the only person in this office who doesn't call me by my first name." Trying to ignore him, I muttered, "I bet I'm also the only person in this office who doesn't call out your first name."
"What was that?"
"Nothing. Just muttering to myself. I have work to do, Mr. Okinawa, if you don't mind." I began typing again, though I could feel that he still hadn't moved from his spot. Finally, he said, "You're a bit on the diligent side, aren't you, Ayame?" Suppressing a sigh, I told him, "Only doing what I'm being paid for, sir."
"Most people slack off as we get closer to the holidays."
"I'm not like most people, sir."
"I figured that when I overheard that you won't be joining the rest of the firm in becoming sloppily inebriated in the name of a fictitious Christian holiday on Friday night."
I blinked and looked up at him, noting his wry expression. "Well," I replied with a small laugh, "you make it sound so much more appealing." He stepped out from around the wall of my cubicle and ventured a step into my domain. "I try. So, what are your plans for Friday? And if you say work, I might have to kidnap you."
I shrugged, already sensing where this was going. Okinawa seemed to be making rounds around the office ever since he got there, and though there haven't been any complaints, I wasn't too keen on being just another name checked off on a list. "Probably just watching some DVDs or something. My normal Friday routine." I quickly added, "When I don't have a date, that is." I had meant to make it sound as though I did indeed have a social life, but it ended up sounding like I was hinting at something. Wanting to mutter, "Oh shit," and sink into a hole, I let out a small laugh that only sounded even more incriminating.
"Well," he said quietly after seeming to assess my body language, "it looks like I will have to kidnap you. No DVD is worth a Friday night that could be better spent with friends." I tried very hard not to roll my eyes, but between Little Miss Perky Miniskirt and this wannabe Casanova, my day was shooting downhill on a snowboard. "Friends? Who said I had any friends? Especially among the people who work here?"
Okinawa seemed taken aback by my sudden bluntness and stuttered on his words a bit. "Ah… I only meant… it would perhaps be healthier to be more social and spend time with people rather than alone with one's thoughts." Almost hoping that I would say something that would make Okinawa report me to Kouga and thus get me some personal time with him, I turned fully to him. "People? What good are people? Why sit in a chair and watch people become 'sloppily inebriated' when I can just as easily lie on my sofa and watch a movie, or do anything else I want to do?"
Rather than being stunned, Okinawa asked, "What else would you want to do while lying on your sofa?"
I tried to be pissed. I really did. But the fact that he could take my anger and tailor it to make his own wisecrack dissipated a bit of my irritation. Turning sulkily back to my computer, I muttered, "Pervert."
A good-natured laughter sounded behind me as I felt a hand fall lightly on my shoulder. "I only jest, you know. Despite what you may have heard, I'm pretty harmless." This time, I outright rolled my eyes. Trying to put as much venom in my voice as possible, I told him, "Yeah, well, despite what you may have heard, I'm not."
"A femme fatale, eh? My favorite sort. There aren't enough in this world."
Surprising myself with a small growl in the back of my throat, I said, "Keep pushing my buttons, pal, and you'll find that there's one too many." Other than the pounding of my fingers on the keyboard and the usual office buzz, there was silence from behind me. I heard a bit of shuffling, then saw his shadow move as he reached over me and let a slip of paper fall to my desk. "Wouldn't want to overstay my welcome just yet." As he moved away, I mumbled, "You did that just by coming near me."
Alone in my little square world of files and casebooks, my eyes glanced down to the small piece of paper on my otherwise clutter-free desk. In small, precise handwriting was scrawled Okinawa's name and phone number.
Allowing another small growl to leave my throat, I swept the paper off my desk and continued with my work.
"Mr. Ookami, sir?"
He looked up at me, and I fought hard against the butterflies in my stomach. "Yes, Ayame?" I stepped into his office, hoping I looked braver than I felt. "I finished typing up the file on the Nagawa case for you." Accepting the file from me, he said, "I thought I had given that to you yesterday afternoon."
"You did, sir," I responded, folding my hands behind me. "But your handwriting is on par with hieroglyphics." He let out a single laugh that made me feel relieved; there's a fine line between being a kidder and being fired for disrespect. "Yeah, I guess you're right," he replied quietly.
He opened the folder and began looking through it casually. His tie was loosened and the first two buttons of his shirt were undone. I couldn't help but wonder if he did that for comfort's sake or if he got Kagome in the lounge during her break. Immature and groundless as it may have been, a small surge of jealousy raced through me, and I made a note to mess with Kagome's conflicting feelings about this Inuyasha bozo, whether she actually did anything with Kouga or not.
"Everything appears to be in order," he said, closing the file and tossing it on his haphazard desk. "You do good work when it comes to deciphering." The folder hit a picture frame and it tumbled, but I caught it before it could fall to the ground. "You're not too bad of a catcher, either," he added with a smile.
"Thank you, sir. Can I clock out now?"
He glanced at his desk clock and seemed to just notice the time. "Oh hey, you're here fifteen minutes overtime. Yeah, yeah, get out of here, kid. Go enjoy what's left of the night." I smiled at him and moved to put the frame back on his desk, but stopped. Looking at the picture closer, recognition came to my eyes. "Hey, I remember this!"
"Huh? What do you mean?"
I looked up at him and motioned to the picture. "This was on the baseball field of our high school. Before they renovated it halfway through my freshman year, that is." The picture showed the bleachers of our old baseball field, after one of Kouga's big games. He was with his younger brothers Ginta and Hakkaku and was actually… grinning. It wasn't that empty suave grin he gave Kagome or the pleasant grin he gave his clients… it was a real, genuine smile, and I could see why he wanted that framed.
"Y…You remember Bachman Field before the renovations?" I nodded. "Yup. In fact…." I squinted at the picture, then showed it to him, pointing to an obscured figure up in the bleachers wearing red pigtails and heavy glasses. "That's me."It made me feel good to know that Kouga had a picture of me on his desk… after a fashion, anyway. I looked up at him, but he didn't seem at all impressed about this. Maybe he always knew we went to school together, and I was just making too big a deal out of the impact he had on me? Maybe I was too insignificant for him to remember? He took the frame from me and looked at the picture, his eyes far away.
"No one remembers the original Bachman Field anymore," he said thinly. "All the people who did are gone… faded away. My brother Hakkaku's going to the university now… trying to be a veterinarian. Heh… as if he knew a damned thing about taking care of animals. Ginta… Ginta's gone now. For good. He was only seventeen."
The air seemed to grow thicker as Kouga reminisced. I had read about Ginta Ookami's death in the paper. It was a hit-and-run. The driver was apparently drunk, but they never knew for sure. I remember Hakkaku's reaction to it… we had chemistry class together and he didn't show up for weeks. They were a close family, and I was somehow in the middle of watching one of them dig up old wounds.
My day can't get any worse.
"Yeah," I said, trying not to sound insensitive while also stepping away from the whole thing. "I know." There was a moment of heavy silence as I tried to find a way out. I didn't think I was in any position to try and comfort him and yet didn't know how to just let it go. Luckily, he solved my little dilemma for me.
"Yeah, well, that's life, huh?" I looked up at him, and any old hurts that had resurfaced were gone from his face. I gave him a small nod. "Yeah, I guess."
"When times get bad, there's no point standing still. Stand up for yourself and fight your way ahead, or time will fuck you sideways." I shuddered a little. His words sounded remarkably like the words he had given me when I turned to him with my problems over eight years ago. Of course they do, I told myself. It's the same person. But he didn't remember. And I was a fool to live in the past. And the minor annoyances of that day just proved that I was being fucked sideways.
"Right, well, I guess I'll be going. Good luck on your case tomorrow, Kou- Mr. Ookami." I turned around and tried to not make it seem like my exit from his office was anxious, annoyed, frustrated, or in the least bit out of whack.
"Thank you, Ayame. See you Friday."
No matter how fast I was moving forward, I had been standing still for eight years.
That realization hit me like a punch to the stomach and lingered during my entire drive home. Though I never entertained the idea that Kouga and I currently stood a chance at being anything more than just friendly co-workers, I was still living during that time when he was the only thing keeping me alive, and when helping me with my struggle gave his life "a little more meaning." After he graduated, he changed. He was a different man now. Did he even remember that certain way he gripped his bat? The thought actually brought a tear to my eye.
Walking into my apartment, I made my way to the sofa and just plopped facedown on it, letting my bag fall to the ground. It had been a long day, and I just wanted to take a long hot shower and go to sleep for twelve hours. I put my keys in my bag, fishing blindly for my cell phone so I can be sure it was silenced, when my hand came across a random paper. Considering that I only had my wallet, phone, keys, and a compact in my purse, I was confused. I sat up and took the paper out, reaching over to turn on the lamp so I can read what it said. I let out a groan when I realized that it was Okinawa's number. It must have fluttered into my open bag rather than dropping into the wastebasket. Lovely.
I was going to crumble it up, but something stopped me. Though he gave off the impression of being a pompous brat, Okinawa actually wasn't too bad of a person. Kagome thought he was pretty nice, and he's still on rather good terms with his old girlfriend Sango. Maybe… maybe he was right. Being alone with my own thoughts wasn't entirely healthy.
Before I knew what I was doing, I reached over for my cell phone.
Coldest day of the year, and I'm waiting around for Miroku, of all people.
That was the thought that went through my head as I shivered outside my office building. I had made plans with Okinawa to meet him outside of the office at eight on Friday, so that he can hang around the party for an hour before our date. The last office party I was at scared the shit out of me, so I told him that I refused to set foot in there. He had assured me that he'd be out by 7:59, and it was already 8:05. I'm big on punctuality, so needless to say, I was annoyed.
Why am I standing outside? Accepting the fact that he was going to be late, I slipped into the building and decided to wait around in the lobby for him. It was much warmer in there, and the sounds of my co-workers shrieking as they got groped or otherwise manhandled in the name of "festivity" began to invade my ears. Sighing, I dropped myself on a chair by the vacant security desk and waited for Okinawa to show up. Brushing my hair out of my face, I could already tell that this was going to be a long night.
A few minutes passed, and a few minutes eventually turned into half an hour. I don't wait for longer than 30 minutes for anyone. Irritated, but not desperate enough for Okinawa's company that I would go into the party and look for him, I gathered up my bag and moved towards the door.
"Ayame!"
I stopped upon hearing my name. That bastard had better have a good excuse. I turned around and was about to tell him so when I realized that it wasn't Okinawa… it was Kouga. The words died in my throat as I looked him over. He was wearing black pants and a long, dark brown suede coat. His steps were slow and deliberate, leading me to only one conclusion; he was drunk.
"M… Mr. Ookami. Hello." He continued towards me, looking downwards. "You weren't at the party, Ayame. Couldn't decide whether or not to join us?" I swallowed with difficulty and stepped outside, holding the door open for him. "N- no sir. I was supposed to meet Miroku Okinawa for a movie. He never showed." Outside in the cold, his blue eyes rose to meet mine, giving me even more of a chill. "Miroku? He was inside talking with me, Kagome, and Sango. He didn't tell me he had a date."
"No," I quickly interrupted. "It wasn't a date. He just offered to watch a movie with me. That's all." He didn't seem to hear me. "Bastard! Standing a woman up! Just because his old girlfriend was there. Jesus Christ, this place is like a giant fucking soap opera!" He turned around, as though to head back into the building. "I'm gonna go give that asshole a piece of my mind!"
"No!" I grabbed onto his arm and pulled him back, a bit surprised at my own forwardness. "No, that's not necessary! Leave him with Sango! It's okay!" The truth of the matter was that I was afraid of Kouga going back in there and staying with Kagome, leaving me alone once again. "I… I'd rather spend some time with you, anyway." He looked down at me, and I hoped that the pink that rose to my cheeks seemed to be a result of the cold. "We hardly speak to each other at all, that is. And yet we used to… we used to be friends, way back when."
My throat felt dry as I realized that my hand was still on his arm and he was now looking down at me questioningly. Letting go of him, I put my hands in my pockets and looked away, letting the wind play around with my hair. "That is, back in high school. We used to… um… that is, when I was a freshman-"
"When you were a freshman, I was a senior. Yes, I remember, Ayame. Did you think I didn't?" I blinked and looked back at him.
He had shoved his hands into his pockets and was hunched down to keep the cold from getting to him. "Hey," he nearly yelled over a particularly strong gust of wind.
"Do you think you could give me a ride? I don't have my car with me."
Back in my car, I turned the heater on as high as it would go.
Kouga fastened his seatbelt and wrapped his arms around himself. Starting up the car, I slowly found my voice. "I hadn't realized that you recognized me. You never acknowledged it." There was a short bit of silence as I pulled out of the parking lot.
"I didn't recognize you. I remembered the name, but when I saw you, I didn't realize you were the same person. I had asked Hakkaku about it, and he told me that you had gotten contacts to replace the glasses your junior or senior year, and it changed your appearance completely. I finally decided that you were the same girl from high school about two months after you started working here. I never brought it up because you never did, so I figured you just didn't want to remember high school, for obvious reasons."
"Oh," was all I could think of to say. It seemed strange for me to be driving with Kouga Ookami after being stood up by Miroku Okinawa. I never thought either one would be happening, the latter especially. We drove in silence for a little while, and then I realized that I would probably need to know his address in order to drop him off. I glanced over at him and realized that he was asleep. With a sigh, I wondered how much the guy had had to drink. I felt the urge to sneak my hand into his pocket and look for his wallet so I can find out where he lives, but if he woke up, it would be pretty awkward.
Instead, I had no choice but to drive back to my place.
He didn't stir until I finally parked the car in the garage.
"You didn't wake me," he said plainly. Putting my keys in my purse and taking off my seatbelt, I joked, "Rather astute observation." As I got out of the car, I saw him stretch and yawn, then I turned around so I wouldn't end up gawking at him. When he started getting out of the car, I continued. "I have a spare room you can have for the night. I'd rather just drive you back tomorrow than attempt to get to an address I might have never heard of while tired and annoyed."
I tried to say it evenly, as though I was used to having guys from the office stay over at my place. I don't know why I felt the need to pretend, but it just made me feel better. "Annoyed?" I glanced at him as he slowly stepped out of the car. "Did I do something-?"
"No!" Embarrassed by the way the word had rushed out of me, I turned and began walking towards my apartment. "No, not you. Okinawa broke his promise to me. I hate it when people break their promises." I heard his slow, thoughtful footsteps behind me, and wondered how I managed to get myself into this situation. Kouga. Drunk. Spending the night in my apartment. I should be ecstatic.
"You mean like my promise to keep in touch after graduation?"
I stopped. I hadn't even thought about that… much. He stopped right behind me and gingerly put a hand to my shoulder. "No! No… of course not, Mr. Ookami! People never keep in touch after high school. That's absolutely absurd!" Of course, at the time of his graduation, I hadn't known that. But that's beside the point.
"Why don't you ever call me Kouga anymore, Ayame?" I stepped out from under the hand he had on me and turned to face him. His business demeanor gone due to the party and the drinks, I saw a little bit more of the boy I had known so long ago. "B-Because. Because you're my boss now, not my classmate."
"Not your friend?"
I sighed. "Fine then. Kouga. Does that make you happy? Kouga, Kouga, Kouga. Wonderful. Now let's go; the way our voices bounce off the walls down here gives me the creeps."
He didn't say another word as we made our way back to my apartment.
"Why do you have an extra room?"
Taking my jacket off and hanging it in my closet, I replied, "I used to live here with my grandfather before he passed away." A quiet "Oh" was the only reply. I offered to take his coat, telling him it was no big deal. "He was sick for years. He died a little over two years ago, so I'm fine about it now." Closing the closet, I turned around and was about to offer him something to drink when he said, "He was the man with the long beard who liked pomegranates, right?"
Surprised, I asked, "You knew him?" Kouga walked into my living room and sat on the sofa as he responded, "I worked in the supermarket to save up for college, remember? He came in twice a week and always bought pomegranates. Then he'd come in on Saturdays and do the regular shopping. I knew him before I knew you." I smiled thinly, and was amused to see when I turned on the light that he shared the same smile. "He was a good man. I always wondered what happened to him."
"Cancer. Of the liver."
"Oh Jesus, it's gettin' everyone, isn't it?" I could tell by his disgusted expression that he knew quite a few people that were affected by the modern plague. "Was it hereditary," he asked me, "or was he a drinker?" I told him, "A little bit of both."
"You don't drink, I hope."
"You're one to talk."
He responded to my comment with a dirty look. "Am I slurring? Am I falling all over the place? Am I molesting you? Am I trying to drive home? No. I take precautions. I may drink, but I don't get drunk." He unbuttoned the first two buttons on his shirt and I turned to the kitchen. "I'm going to get some water. You want some?" Once again, he didn't seem to hear me. "I lost a brother that way, remember? Do you really think I'm that stupid?"
Coming back from the kitchen with two bottles of water, I told him, "For someone who isn't drunk, you've got one hell of a temper." Accepting the water I offered him as I sat besides him, he muttered, "You should see me when I'm actually mad." I took a sip, watching him open his bottle. "Temper's gonna lead you to an early grave." He looked up at me, raising an eyebrow sarcastically. "Why Ayame, I didn't think you cared." I replied, "Of course I do. If you die, I'll end up working for Okinawa."
We laughed for a bit over that, and then grew silent again. Finally he said, "I honestly didn't know he was supposed to meet you tonight. If I did, I would've dragged him out with me." I shrugged. "It's alright. I really wasn't in the mood to listen to his pseudo-philosophical spiels anyway." Kouga let out a single laugh. "Heh. Better than that Inuyasha bastard that Kagome pals around with. I've never met anyone so full of himself." The mention of Kagome made me want to retch, but I managed a thin, forced smile. "I wouldn't know. I try not to pry into Kagome's social life."
"You're better off. Her blindness to his stupidity almost makes me lose my respect for her." My stomach sour now, I quietly mumbled, "I would have thought her lack of a decent skirt was enough reason to lose respect for her." Dammit, I thought when I saw Kouga glance up at me. "What'd you say?"
"Nothing."
"Yes you did."
"Just thinking aloud."
"Well then, you said something. What'd you say?"
"I said I'm probably gonna turn in early. G'night."
I stood up and tried to get out of the room. I hate it when people try to make sense of my quiet ranting. It either proves that they're too persistent or that I talk to myself a lot. I didn't make it out of the room, though, as Kouga had wrapped a strong hand around my arm to keep me put. I looked down at him, and tried to breathe normally as his cerulean eyes penetrated mine. "I always thought you got along with her."
"I do," I lied. "I just… I don't…. People aren't exactly my thing." This earned me yet another odd look from Kouga and I forced myself to look away. "Not your thing? I've never pegged you as the antisocial type." I managed to pull my arm away from him as I quietly answered, "Yeah, well… if anyone would have, it should have been you." Again, another block of silence settled in. Just as I turned around to head towards my room, he spoke up.
"I thought you had changed since high school."
"…yeah, well… maybe the only one who's really changed is you."
"What makes you say that?"
"… I don't know." I could feel him looking at me, as though he was freezing me in place. Damn those stupid eyes of his. The alcohol should have reddened them a little; that would have made things so much easier. I tensed up when I heard him stand up and come towards me. "You are angry that I didn't keep in touch," he whispered, "aren't you?"
"I'm not 14 anymore, Kouga."
"No, but you were once. And that 14-year-old girl gave some 18-year-old creep her phone number and mailing address… and that creep didn't take them to university with him and eventually forgot about that 14-year-old girl." He paused for a moment, then wryly finished with, "Damned creep."
Hearing those words satisfied my suspicions. He had forgotten about me. Maybe he remembered later on, but there was a period of his life where I was just an empty face in the stands at one of his games. I had always suspected it, since I had only known him for a year… but he had admitted to it. And yet, if Okinawa had forgotten about me, he's probably going to give me some excuse on Monday morning about not having a watch and losing track of time. At the same time that my heart crumbled, I gained a new respect for Kouga.
But there was no way that I was going to let him know that.
Turning sharply to face him, I incredulously asked, "Do you honestly believe that?" He jerked back from me and widened his eyes. "Eh?" Crossing my arms over my chest, I did my best "femme fatale" impression that I could muster, despite that I was denying all of the truth he had just said. "Do you really think that you're so great and mighty that your secretary has been harboring resentment towards you just because you didn't call her, nearly nine years ago? If you really thought that, why didn't you just confront me about that? Why would you flirt with Kagome right in front of me, leaning over her desk and practically forcing your posterior end over to my cubicle? Were you trying to aggravate me even more in hopes that you would extract that pitiful confession from me one random night? I mean, off the record, you're not exactly the epitome of Prince Charming. You didn't just rag on Kagome's boyfriend, friend, ex—whatever—just two minutes ago about him being full of himself and then honestly believe that I held this stupid grudge against you, did you, Kouga Ookami?"
He looked down at me as though trying to figure me out. I'm the first to admit that I can be a difficult person to deal with, but I couldn't help the fact that my rant was the complete truth… and yet, so were his words. Kouga always had a reputation with being a bit on the cocky side, and the way he used to push his brothers around as though he was king and they were his subjects was just shameful. But that was part of who he was. Confident up to the point of being conceited. The thought of being able to argue that out of him one day was probably part of the reason why I still thought of him so much.
Finally, a smirk broke through his confused expression, causing me to raise an eyebrow. "I thought you weren't 14 anymore." I narrowed my eyes at him. The urge to strike him had never been so strong, but I forced myself to remember that he was my occupational superior, and laying an unwanted finger on him could cost me my job. "Creep," I hissed out, not realizing until after I said it that the word was practically a reaffirmation of everything he had said. He laughed as I turned around and went towards my room.
Once inside, I turned to close the door and saw that he had silently followed me and was leaning nonchalantly against the doorframe. "Kouga, I'm going to slam this door, and if you don't move, your nose will be broken." His expression growing more and more smug, I had the distinct feeling that he was beginning to be too comfortable around me. "You'd nurse me back to health anyway, wouldn't ya, kid?" My mouth almost dropped open at his audacity and without another word, I followed through with my promise and slammed the door.
Turns out that Kouga's reflexes were a little faster than I remembered.
He managed to duck into my room right before the door slammed, and the new darkness made it impossible to tell where he was. "Ugh! Kouga!" He was on the side of the room where the light switch was, so I had no choice but to go towards that direction, shouldering my way through just in case he got playful and decided to try and intercept me. Kouga. Drunk. In my dark room. And I was trying to keep him from getting "playful." Heh. Right.
I felt him wrap his arms around me and pull me backwards. I fought against him, trying really hard not to deck him unconscious. Having never been in my room before, he didn't realize that he was making his way to the foot of my bed. At least, he didn't until he apparently banged his hip against it suddenly. With an "oh shit" and a flail of his arms, he fell over the foot of my bed, taking me down with him. My heart pounded a bit as I realized that his chest was just a few inches away from my face, and I managed to get away from his grip. I crawled across my bed to the nightstand so I could at least switch on a lamp, then stopped cold when I felt his hand fumble at a very inappropriate place. "Kou-ga!" I growled.
His hand disappeared, and he quickly said, "Hey, sorry. I didn't know what that was." Continuing over to the lamp, I muttered,
"Like hell you didn't!" I switched it on, and when the dim orange light broke into the room, I turned to look at him. He was lying on his back, looking up at me. His hair was a complete mess, similar to the way it was after one of his games or practices. Had I said he unbuttoned two buttons on his shirt? Add two more to that. I looked back up at his face so I wouldn't glance at the opening of his shirt… and got caught by his eyes again. Stupid eyes.
"Maybe you oughta drink more water," I managed to say. "You act funny when you have alcohol in your system." He laughed and rolled over to stomach, maintaining eye contact with me. "How do you know I'm acting funny? Maybe this is just the way I always act when I'm in a girl's bed."
"You look like you're about to pounce or something."
"Case in point."
We simply stared at each other, as though daring one another to make a move. I didn't know whether I was more scared that he would jump on top of me the next time I breathed, or that he was only teasing me. Being a random person who will gladly take risks when she's in her own element, I decided I wasn't going to stick around and find out what he was going to do. Especially not when I can work just as quickly as he can.
Much to his apparent surprise, I switched off the lamp and tackled him in the returning darkness. Kouga managed to let out a "Wh-?" Steeling my nerves, I took hold of his face and covered his lips with mine before he could say anything else.
If his eyes really were able to relay some sort of energy, then they were definitely opened as wide as they could possibly go. I tried not to let that bother me. If I was wrong in doing what I did, then I can just claim that he sent out mixed signals. Just me being silly. Haha, big mistake. Let's not ever speak of this aga-
My thoughts froze when I felt him put his arms around me and gently pull me down over him. Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, ohshitohshit. My face grew so hot that I wondered how he could bear to kiss me back without burning himself. My hands dropped from his face and slowly went down to his throat. It was then when I realized in horror that I was currently running on autopilot. No! Get off autopilot! Get off RIGHT NOW!
Ahem. I was having no problem with that.
I woke up the next morning to a pair of mysteriously warm blue eyes gazing back at me.
"Morning," he said quietly. I echoed his greeting sleepily, with a small stretch. "Nice to see you didn't just go home and leave a note on the pillow." He grinned at me and said, "Maybe I would have… if I had my car with me."
"Oh. Right." He laughed at me, showing that he was just joking. Reaching up and stroking his face, I commented, "Maybe next time, I should invest in a pair of handcuffs, just to be safe."
His grin only widened as he replied, "Sounds like a good investment."
"Ayame! Hey Ayame!"
I looked up from my computer and inwardly groaned when I saw who it was. "Oh. Good morning, Mr. Okinawa. What can I do for you?" Miroku Okinawa leaned against the short wall of my cubicle and looked down at me regretfully. "Listen, about Friday night, I'm really sorry. I was talking to Sango and didn't have my watch on me, so I lost total track of time. I must have missed you by only a few minutes, though, since I ran out as soon as I discovered what time it was."
"It's alright, Mr. Okinawa," I answered as I went back to my typing. He stepped in and sat in the spare chair besides my desk, seeming to think that my apathy was just a cover-up for a terrible heartbreak. "I'll make it up to you, I promise. How about a drink after work today?"
I was about to respond that I already had plans when Kagome called my name from her cubicle. "Hey Ayame, do you have any aspirin?" She walked over to my side as she explained, "I've got a splitting headache. Inuyasha kept me up all night."
"Sure, they're in my bag."
Handing Kagome my purse that was at his feet, Miroku smirked, "Did we really need to know about your escapades, dear Kagome?" Snatching the purse away from him, Kagome snapped, "Don't be such a pervert, Miroku! He and I were arguing all night. Jeez, he didn't let up for a single-… eh, Ayame?"
"What?"
"What are these?"
Hearing the soft clink! of metal, I turned slowly to look at what she was holding in her hand. "Oh, those? An investment." I went back to my computer without another word. "Eh… investment?" Miroku's questioning voice hinted at much confusion. "Uh-huh," was my only response. At length, I heard Kagome put them back in the bag and took out the aspirins. "Right," she said quietly, as though searching for a change in subject. "So uh, Miroku, what's your week looking like?"
I couldn't help but smile. In the background, Miroku told Kagome that he only had one case that week, and asked if she was doing anything that day after work. After what seemed like a hesitation, Kagome agreed to his offer of a drink and thanked me for the aspirin. Miroku followed her to her cubicle.
Things felt a little more right with the world.
I saw him in the office again.
Piercing blue eyes that seemed to ring in his presence passed over me for what seemed like an eternity. My heart raced and I managed to hold back a case of the giggles as he grinned at me—a real grin, one that I hadn't seen since high school. Why I ever thought he had ever looked at me as though I was just another employee, I'll never know. Mulling over my own idiocy, I shook my head and continued typing, but not without stealing another glance at what was finally mine.
And it's times like this when I remember why I bother.