Disclaimer: You know, sometimes I wonder why we have this. I mean, do you ever think J.K. Rowling is going to write fanficion? Or would she sue her undoubtably creative and loving fans?

CHAPTER 5: The first only mildly stupid chapter so far

After saving the students of Hogwarts from DOOM, the three heroes ran back to their fallen friend, assured the train would run until they got to Hogwarts. Ron was found propped up against the wall sleeping. Harry could tell by the snores which could be heard a full compartment beforehand. No wonder Hermione didn't like him.

At least, so Harry thought. (oooh forshadowing, use your highlighters, take a note, class…)

Hermione and HarryRingo lifted Ron, waking him, and draped an arm around each of their shoulders. Thus, they carried him back to their compartment.

Luna decided that she would much rather entertain herself alone then time boringly spent with the three friends. So, she went off by herself. Good for her.

"Ron, we couldn't have done without you," said Hermione, checking to see if he was alright.

"Ya we could've." Harry's eyes were slightly glassy as he drifted into fantasy for a moment. "I could've done anything by myself. Did you see the way I defeated that dragon? I was perfect. Beautiful. Majestic."

Hermione looked at Harry. "Oh, really? Ok, never mind, then, Ron. Harry's right, you're useless!" she said happily.

Ron sighed, "Sure, Harry. Now, I never got the chance to ask you when we saw you before school- how long exactly did you stay at your Aunt and Uncle's? Was it any different?"

The train came to a stop, and the three could here commotion coming from other compartments, students were obviously getting off.

"I'll tell you later. Let's go see Hagrid and eat- I'm starved."

"Same- the food cart didn't come around this year, bloody lady-last year she cheated me out of three knuts. I was hoping to give her a piece of my mind this year, if you know what I mean…." Ron waggled his eyebrows in just the way that summoned the obligatory sigh and roll of the eyes from Hermione (aka. Charletto…cough).

"Sure, Ron…." Herm said, reflexively.

The three grabbed their trunks and stood in the line before the door, waiting to get off the train. Suddenly HarryRingo's hero senses were tingling again.

"Wait. Wait a moment. We're all of the sudden dressed in our robes. You were just in combat boots. And I was wearing muggle clothes." Harry pondered this concernedly in only the way that a teenage hero main character of a young adult's book pauses formidably as another troubling clue is inevitably uncovered that (of course) quite possibly leads to the heart of the matter, in which there will be some nicely done heroic climax where good will beat evil somehow or whatever. It's compulsory, you see.

"Oh, good, we're over the compulsory part, now we can get back to the story." Hermione was cheerful today. "Thanks, Harry."

Ron, however, was captivated by the prospective action and (Ooooo!) conflict! "I've been thinking about that, Harry. I never put on camouflage if I remember…and I certainly didn't change back. Something strange is going on here. And the way Luna acted all out of character. I really think that-"

But Ron never had the chance to say what he really thought, because at that moment they heard a familiar voice, which seemed to be emitting from a mountain-shaped pile of fur holding up a lantern and plowing through a sea of black-robed students, "Firs' years… follah me! Firs' years!"

"It's Hagrid!" shouted HarryRingo.

"Really? I never would have guessed…I thought it was McGonagall..."

"C'mon," said Hermione, pushing ahead to get out of the door, "Let's go say hello before he loads the first years onto the boats."

They pushed ahead, annoying several students who, if they hadn't just saved the day, would have glared at them and sneered.

"Hey! Hagrid! Wait up!"

The large mass of fur paused and looked behind it-ahem, him.

"HarryRingo, Hermione, Ron! Good ta see you all here again. How was your summer, HarryRingo?"

HarryRingo perked up, "Well, besides dwelling over the death of the only person who ever really cared for me, and the most father-like figure I had, and realizing it was all my fault because I didn't use the blasted mirror, then having to endure another few months with those ((() the Dursleys, and then somehow having to survive four pointless and painful chapters of humor and parody on the train containing southern preachers, sloooooooow moooooooootion, mocha frappachinos, DRACOMALFOY, pre-written dragon-fighting scenes, screaming, Ringo Starr, and DOOM, it was OK, I guess. Yours?"

"I was stayin' here most o' the summa. Been training Grawp and all. They wanted me to git 'im ready fo' what's ta come."

"They wanted you to train Grawp? Grawp? You're not training Grawp to fight for the Order, are you Hagrid? He's dangerous, no matter what you think…. He might do more harm then good, for all we know. And we know a lot. Especially me. Er." Hermione blushed.

For just the smallest of moments, Hagrid glanced at Hermione with a glint of resentment and hurt in his eyes. It went away as soon as it came, and his momentarily faltered smile beamed once again.

"Ya know he's jus' a big baby. The training's been coming along grea', it has, really. Well, best be helping the firs' years git onto the boats, now. Be seeing you all at the feast, then." He waved and turned, parting the crowd like Moses, except he did it with his body. The perpetually frightened and confused first years were herded to the boats.

Hermione sighed in distress and turned to the boys. "You don't really think he's training Grawp for the Order, do you? What now? Is he going to fight on our side?"

"Hermione, we need all the help we can get. Voldemort seems to have a few giants on his side. And Hagrid looks fine." Harry replied.

"Harry's right, Hermione," supplied Ron. "And did you see his face? He had no bruises. It seems like he's telling the truth-everything might be okay."

Hermy sighed, shaking her head and crossing her arms, "I know….I know-it's just that a lot of funny stuff's been happening recently. And I just don't think it's safe. And we need more conflict, especially after that bloody four-chapter train ride. I swear, they're feeding us crack in the chocolate on that cart." Ron laughed.

Harry suddenly shifted and became intensly interested in his shoe.

"I've always liked the chocolate..."

Aw…

The three threw their trunks into a carriage; Harry regarding the black skeletal creatures leading them with apprehension for a moment, and then hopping in, shaking his head as if to get an idea out of his mind. Ron and Hermione followed.

They spent the first few minutes in silent anticipation of the new school year.

Ron broke the quiet, "I wonder who the new DADA teacher is. Hope it's not worse then Umbridge."

Hm…Note the "it"…interesting…

"It can't possibly be worse then Umbridge," Harry snorted, amused.

"Maybe since Umbridge is gone you can play quidditch again."

Harry turned to lean against the window, head in his hand, "Well, I should think so. No one at school liked her, except maybe Filch, who doesn't really count, 'cause no one likes him either. So I hardly think they'd continue her established laws. Not that the opinions of a fat toad count, after all…"

The three chuckled.

No one said anything else until they got off the carriage, except for a little incident in which Ron stepped in invisible poo, apparently from the invisible beasts pulling the carriages. Herm stepped lightly down, delicately avoiding the general area in front of the door where the dung lay. "Good God, clumsy buffoon…" she muttered, smirking. Ron knew better than to point out that to him, the manure was invisible, but he sulked all the way up to the castle while trying to wipe the foul-smelling stuff off of his shoe before stepping into the squeaky clean and fragrant Great Hall. Which was difficult, because he couldn't see it, and so had to locate it by smell alone. Ew.

End Note:Please R and R! I, Emmy, am sick, and have been so for the past few days. I haven't had a chance to write that many new chapters, and Charletto and Cocabella to correct them. So, we will only post a new chapter once a week. And theraflu is disgusting. Oh, and just to make sure we're all clear, I don't own that either.