AN: wow, took forever with this one, didn't I? Sorry, summer is the busiest time for me- I live on a farm...sigh. Forgive me! (tears up) Forgive me and review! (wink, wink; hint, hint) Oh, by the way, since I just got done reading quite a bit of the "Unfortunate Events" series, my writing is a little effected...: ) I hope it's in a good way...

Thanks reviewers! I can't say that enough- you guys are so great! Take a bow! Really! I'll even be your stage announcer, see:

Reviewers:

snowboarder9; 1; NeT: Thank you! I'll try to keep up the funny for y'all!

Soul Raider 116: Yes, well- CABAGGE EATING FREAK! ; )

Elynsynos 18: Yes,I should have translated, eh? I actually did go through a lot of trouble to find the spanish terms I wanted...

acosta pérez josé ramiro: D'oh! Sorry!i'll try to remember to fix that- no time today...thanks!

Dragon Blade5 :O.o ... ; Hi, mallet-weilding friend! (Shows official mallet-weilder club card) And, no need for eyetwiching, here's a new chappie to give you your need-funny fix!

Disclaimer: You may be right; I may be crazy; but it just may be a lunatic you're looking for! - Billy Joel

Chapter 7

"Jimmy!" Sheen said, banging on the lab door. "Are you in there?"

Carl smiled as he looked up at the squirrel on the phone line above him. "Hello, Mr. Squirrel!" He mumbled to himself, walking closer.

"Jimmy!" Sheen demanded again, placing his face close to the scanner. "I know you're in there, man!"

"Why don't we just wait for Jimmy to finish, Sheen? He'll tell us what he's doing eventually."

Sheen shook his head in disdain. "Carl, Carl, Carl." He said, walking over to his unsuspecting buddy. Putting both hands on Carl's shoulders, he suddenly shook him vigorously. "Don't you understand? We haven't heard from Jimmy in almost 3 days! He could have been poisoned by an experimental fruit! Or flattened by an experimental elephant! Or WORSE, DEVOURED BY THE GIRL-EATING PLANT!" Sheen gasped with fear and returned to banging on the door.

"But-" Carl said, a bit confused, "The girl eating plant only eats-"

He was cut off by manic Sheen. "Jimmy! Answer the door or I'm coming in the hard way!" He opened one eye wide and squinted the other in his patented Classic Sheen Look (CSL). There was still no answer. "Allllright! That's it!"

He ran away from the door, around the other side of the house. There was a pause, a brief moment, when Carl was alone. The birds sang happily, the bees buzzed, and Carl wondered where Sheen had taken off running to while he smiled up at his squirrel friend.

Suddenly, the pleasant moment was broken by a bloodcurdling scream.

"AAAHHHH!" Sheen yelled, running toward the door with a log under his arms. "I'm coooommm-"

(AN: Now, one might wonder why Sheen was thinking it was necessary to break down the door. Or, conversely, why it was necessary to break down the door with a giant log. Or, where in the world Sheen had even gotten a log. Yes, you may be wondering these things. But, unfortunately, these questions are not pertinent to the story, so I'm not going to bother explaining it to you. On with the chapter.)

"…mmmmiiiingg Jimmy!" He finished at last, an Carl darted out of the way. (AN: I must here point out that with the body shape and weight that Carl maintains, he deserves a bit of credit for this impressive show of acrobatics.)

Just before Sheen was about to slam into the door of the lab with the mysteriously acquired log, Jimmy's voice rang out.

"Sheen!?"

Sheen stopped and turned to the voice. "Oh, hey, Jimmy." He said, nonchalantly. "What's up?"

Jimmy, once again reminded that even geniuses find some situations completely perplexing, looked at Sheen unbelievingly. "What are you doing?"

"Looking for you." Sheen said, wagging a finger at his previously missing friend. "Where have you been, man?" He dropped the log with a crash, and wiped his hands together to rid himself of the dust.

Jimmy let that compute for a moment….He decided not to ask.

"I've been working, Sheen. I was just out getting a few parts to my new invention."

"The Converter-whatever?"

Jimmy smiled. (AN: It should here be pointed out that if one were to give an evil smile, one would be more than a little scary looking to others, especially if you are not an evil person commanding evil minions to do your evil bidding, in which case, of course, it is perfectly acceptable to give an evil smile. Therefore, I shall refrain from calling the look on Jimmy's face an evil one. It was, actually, as close to an evil smile as a perfectly non-evil person can come, which was still, needless to say, a bit frightening to behold. We shall, henceforth, call it the Almost Evil Smile. On with the story!)

"No, actually, Sheen, I've put that on hold for while."

Carl returned to the conversation with a confused look. "But, what about ending world energy problems?"

"That can wait. There's something more important right now."

"What?" Sheen asked.

"Cindy." Jimmy replied, rubbing his hands together mysteriously.

Sheen raised an eyebrow. "Come again?"

Jimmy gave his Almost Evil Smile (AES) once again. "Remember the argument Cindy and I had at the candy bar the other day?"

Sheen looked at Carl. "Carl, notes."

"Right." Taking out his notepad, Carl browsed through his notes. Sheen played with his fingers while he waited.

"Notes?" Jimmy murmured to himself, half amused and half frightened.

"At exactly 3:23 p.m., the argument began with the accusation of Cindy that you could not tie your own shoes."

"Ah, yes," Sheen said, hand on his chin in deep thought. "It's all coming back to me now."

"The argument continued…covering the destruction of Cap'n Betty's boat," Carl listed, "The resurrection and attack of the mummies in Egypt, and whether Cindy could or could not beat you with her own lab."

"Right!" Jimmy broke in, not allowing himself to wonder why Carl had been taking notes. "That's what I was getting at. Cindy said that someday, when she gets her own lab, she'll surpass my achievements!"

"Uh-huh." Sheen said, moving Jimmy along.

"So…" Jimmy said, "I've built a time machine."