Title: Love Apart

Disclaimer: Slash. Angst.

POV: Speed

Chapter One: Needing Out

"Hey, H," I say leaning on the frame of his office door.

"Speed, what brings you here?" Horatio looks up from his desk. There is a manila folder open upon the desk. What is he reading? Do we have a new case? He must notice my apprehension. "Don't worry," he smiles, "it's not a case."

I enter the office. "Do you mind if I ask you what it is?"

"Not at all." He nonchalantly points to the folder. "Frank has been looking at a transfer. Wants my opinion on whether or not this detective was worth hiring."

"You do that?" I question.

"I was a detective before heading the Crime Lab." He flips the folder closed. "I have a feeling you're not here for business, so what can I do for you?"

I lick my bottom lip. "Well, H, I was wondering, can I have a few days off?" I almost regret asking the question. I had just finished my first week back after being gone for a month.

"Well, Speed, that's…" He doesn't finish the sentence.

"Look, I know that I was gone for a month. And I know that I told you I was fine. Truly, I thought I was. Yet, being here has been harder than I thought," I openly admit. "You have to understand, H, I'm not bailing on you. It's just not that easy to re-adjust."

Horatio nods, like he understands. Maybe he does. "Alright. You can have the time off. But if you're going to be gone longer than a week, please let me know."

"You mean, I can actually go?" I am stunned. H is a great friend, a great boss. He could also be demanding. Not that he would ever admit it.

"Yes, of course you can," H says. "Speed, you got shot in the line of duty. You almost died-"

"Don't remind me," I mutter.

"Work can't be easy. I figured you were lying when you told me you were okay. Take the time off, Speed."

I stand up. "Thank you, H. I really appreciate it." I stop at the door. There was just one other thing to ask him. Should I risk it? Or would it be too much?

"Uh," I choke out.

"What is it, Speed?"

I turn back to him. "Well, my doctor doesn't want me on my motorcycle. He says I can't ride it for another month. Delko's been my ride, you know that. I'm sure he doesn't want to be my taxi."

"Take one of the Hummers," H offers.

"H-"

He puts his hand up to shush me. "Take it. Any heat will come my way. Just don't put too much mileage on it."

"Thanks, H."

"Think nothing of it. However, if you take it I expect you to return to my lab. I can't have my best CSI resigning."

We part ways. I shake my head with a ghost smile on my lips. Horatio usually does favors but expected something of you. Something small. The only problem is, my mind has been full of reasons to resign. The job just doesn't seem the same anymore.

I am almost out the door when Calleigh calls my name.

"Speed, wait." I hear her heeled boots clicking on the floor.

"Something I can do for you, Cal?" I ask. Some how I keep my voice pleasant. Really, all I want to do is leave.

"Heard you were taking time off. You okay, Timmy?" She places a hand on my arm.

I flinch. "I'm fine. Just need a little more time away."

"Don't worry, Cal," Delko says coming up behind her. "Our boy would tell us if something was wrong, wouldn't you?"

Nervously I swallow. "Um, course I would. You guys know that."

"So where you going?" Delko asks. "Got a hot date or something?"

Can't tell you, I want to say. But that would make them pester me even more. The only way out is to lie. They could never find out where I was headed.

"Going to visit an old friend," I lie. Well, it wasn't a complete lie. I am going to meet friends.

"Sounds lovely," Calleigh says. "I'll miss you." She surprises me by giving me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Hurry back man. The lab is lonely without you," Delko pipes up. It is his way of hugging and kissing me without actually doing it. How manly.

"I'll call you guys. I'll be back in a week or two."

Some how I manage to get out of the Lab. Outside I see Frank. I pretend not to notice him. No more distractions. There is a place I need to be. A place to think and figure out how the rest of my life is going to be. Is it time for a career change?

I hop into the Hummer and take off. If anyone knew where I am going they'd have heart failure.