Title: Love Apart

Disclaimer: Slash. Angst.

POV: Speed

Chapter Three: Tear Filled Love

I jump at the sound of the voice. I didn't hear anyone come in. Never mind them coming up behind me. The knife slips from my hand. I can't believe I get caught.

I sit on the edge of the bed. Things have happened so fast. Things that are fuzzy in my mind. Even though they have just happened. "Um, listen, Danny, I'm sorry," I choke out.

Danny finishes up with the bandaging on my chest. He says nothing in reply. Instead he cleans up the bandages and the rest of the first aid kit. Turns out the first aid kit is in the drawer of the bedside table. The one place I don't think to look.

"Danny? Please, say something," I blurt out.

He sits beside me. He takes his glasses off and cleans them. My New York lover. My blond hair baby.

"Danny?" I feel a cold hand gripping my heart, squeezing it, breaking it.

"What were you thinking, Timothy?" he asks.

I love when he calls me Timothy. "I'm sorry, Danny. I haven't been the same since…since…"

"Have you talked to anyone about it?"

I shake my head slowly. "No, I haven't been able to."

He puts his glasses back on and gives a little chuckle. "You lied to me, Tim. You told me you would talk to someone. And that that someone would be Horatio."

"Danny, I couldn't tell him." I lick my lips nervously. "He would…would…overreact."

"Why shouldn't he?" Danny presses. "I found you with a knife to your wrist."

I begin to tear up again. "How many more times can I say I'm sorry?"

Danny goes silent again. I want him to hold me close. I want his sensible arms around me, to have him kiss me. With every passing minute my heart dies a little more. I chance a glance at him. He looks lost in thought.

"Timothy, I have a phone call to make."

"Who are you calling?" I wonder aloud.

"Don't worry." He stands. "You've had a trying day. Get some sleep. Things will be better in the morning. You'll see."

He helps me climb under the covers of the king-size bed. Danny steps away. I reach out to him.

"Don't leave me, please. I don't want to be alone."

He turns out the light. A few minutes later I hear the rustling of clothing. Danny climbs into bed and wraps his arms around me.

"Don't worry, Timothy," he whispers in my ear. "I would never leave you. I love you too much." He kisses the back of my neck.

"I love you too, Danny."

I awake sometime later. The clock says it is a little after midnight. What has awakened me? I turn over to cuddle with Danny. Only, he isn't there. I sit up. Where is he?

As in answer to my question a noise comes from the dining room. I slide out of bed and creep to the door. Danny is sitting at the table on the phone. Who is he talking to?

"Did I wake you...Sorry, but I needed to talk to you…Yes…What about?" He pauses. "It's about Tim…I'm really worried about him." He recounts the tale of me and the knife. Is it really that big of a deal? "Come, please…I don't know if I can handle this alone…He'll listen to you…You'll be here in the morning…Alright…"

At this point I creep back to bed. Sounds like Danny has called H. I feel betrayed. My boss knows absolutely nothing about my relationship with Danny. I love Danny as much as H loves Yelina; not that he would admit it.

I lay in the dark and bore holes into the ceiling I stare at it so hard. I ran here, to Danny, to the only one who could keep me sane. Who am I kidding? He isn't the only one. Perhaps I have made a mistake in running to Danny. Perhaps I shouldn't have run to Danny. I could have run to him, he wouldn't be mad. I silently laugh. Who am I kidding, he would have called Danny. They would both know, either way.

Danny's footsteps near the bedroom door. I roll over, pretending to sleep. Danny crawls back into bed. He doesn't cuddle up to me and that is okay. My lover has betrayed me. My last thought before drifting off is of Horatio finding out about my boyfriend.

I returned to work after two days. H had been to the vacation house. He had seen me and Danny kissing. I was afraid he would be grossed out, but no, he said nothing. He stayed for a day. Never once talking about my relationship with Danny.

Now I was back at the Lab. Everyone I passed just stared at me. Some even snickered. I found Delko and Calleigh in the break room. I paused by the door to listen to them.

"Can you believe that Speed has a boyfriend?" Calleigh asked.

"I always thought something was wrong with him. Boy, I never thought it was this bad."

"You don't think he'll make a move on Horatio, do you?" Calleigh questioned.

"What about Frank?" By now the two of them were laughing. At me. Some friends they were.

"What if he hits on you, Delko?"

The laughing stopped. "Thanks, Call, now I'm going to have nightmares."

I wake with a start, my heart racing. Would my friends react that way? I know one thing, I never want to find out. Danny will always be my secret.