This is my first fanfic, so im sry for ooc. This is about Ichigo looking back. I do not own bleach. R&R please and thank u
Before all this, before I became a shinigami, life was…….simple. There was Inoue, Sado, Kiego, Tatsuki, Mizuiro, my idiot dad, Karin, and Yuzu. It was very simple. Well compared to now anyway. I wasn't quite…….happy. No, but I wasn't sad either, I was just sort of drifting in between. I mean I always frowned then, Inoue says I scared her. I still frown now, but with her around, it's a…….different sort of frown. I used to frown, because there was nothing to smile about. Now, I frown, because she's no longer here.
When she first glided into my life, I…..I couldn't stand her. I would've stayed as far away as I could if I didn't owe her. She saved my family's life by giving her powers to me. I owed her.
I gave her a place to stay, clothes to wear, and my word that I would fulfill what she wanted to do here. It was the least I could do. I put up with her fake smiles at school, her lack of understanding of this world, and the fact that she was there.
After a while, I didn't mind anymore. In fact, I quite liked having her around. Those stupid arguments we had, the way she hit me, the look on her face when I hit her back, she seemed to have dug a place to stay in this world. For a minute, everything seemed to ok. There were a few brief moments when I could say I was…….happy.
Then one day, she was gone. Taken away from my closet and the place she dug here. Taken to be executed for giving her powers away. She was going to be killed for saving my family. I owed her and that's why I came here, I will not let her be executed, I owe her at least that.
So here I am….fighting. Fighting to save her life. Fighting so that I can pay her back for what she did. Fighting, so that I can protect her.
I wonder now, what it would be like if she were never here. If that day she had picked someone else's window instead of mine. Life would seem so much…..simpler. I wouldn't be a shinigami, I wouldn't know what a hollow is, and I would be back in the living world, where I belonged. I wouldn't know of the existence of a Kuchiki Rukia, and she wouldn't know of the existence of a Kurosaki Ichigo.
But I guess that's not possible now is it? There is no going back. There never is. No matter what I cannot pretend I'm not a shinigami. I cannot pretend I don't know what a hollow is, and I cannot pretend I do not know the love of my life. What is the use of looking back when looking back makes me think of a time without her. It may have been simpler back then, but those glimpses of happiness I felt and the way I felt when she gave me those childish smiles. Even if I could, I wouldn't want to go back, because no matter how I look at it, these scars that I have, the battles I have fought, and the pains that I have felt, they don't matter because those smiles made it all worth it.
Now, every time I pick up my sword, or shed a drop of blood, it is like taking a step forward. I cannot go back, nor do I want to. I will look forward. Maybe to a day when I truly am happy, and she is by my side, but until then all I can do is pick up my sword, and hope that that day is soon. All there is for me is forward, the past is irrelevant.
Yes I am well aware I have no talent. Go easy plz