Without you - PArt 3

I don't know

A few days later

Paige walked in to her apartment after what seemed like the longest possible shift ever, Phoebe was behind her. "I swear to god Paige this guy spent more time looking at my legs than he did my application form. I'm never going to get a job at this rate…I mean, if I'm not qualified for one, there is some sex crazed boss at the others"
Paige couldn't help but laugh, though she didn't know what was funny, things were getting really bad she was fast running out of money and rent was due, food was low and bills were pilling up. "Just keep looking sis" she encouraged
"Yeah…" Phoebe felt responsible for all this, for Paige having to work so much more, for the bills, for all the stress Paige was going threw.

Paige threw her bag on the side, and that's when she hared the clambering feet come threw the apartment. "Hey you" Hunter ran at top speed towards her.
"Mommy"
Paige picked him up and swung him around, "Hey Dude, you been good for carter?"
"Yup" Hunter nodded, "I was weally good"
Paige smiled, "So have you had dinner?"
Hunter nodded, and started to ramble on about what he'd eaten as they continued to walk threw to the living room and then to the kitchen where carter was.

"Hey baby" Paige smiled,
Carter turned to face Paige, he wasn't smiling not even close to that. Paige sensed something was wrong. "Hunt, go find Phoebe…watch some cartoons or something" Carter nodded and Paige put him down letting him run from the kitchen. Then she looked back to Carter, "What's up? What happened?" She asked.
"Prue was right wasn't she" He said after a silence of just looking at her.
"Wow, hold on…what?" Paige was in shock, "What the hell's going on?"
"PRUE WAS RIGHT" He screamed, Paige was taken aback…Carter and she had fought before, minor disagreements but nothing like this.
"What's happened?" She asked, "What the hell is this?"
"This is me, me sick of been taken for an idiot" He shouted back.
"Stop" Paige swung around and shut to door to the kitchen, "Tell me what's happened?"

"How about you tell me what's happening…"
"What's going on? I'm lost here" She explained.
"This" he said pulling a stack of paper from this back pocket, "My dearest Paige, I'm counting down the days till I get out and can come back to be with you and our son…" Paige put her hand to her head in disbelief, this wasn't happening to her. It couldn't be…
"Do you want me to go on or is it all a little clearer for you now?" He shot.
"Carter, look…it's nothing"
"No Paige, it's something, a whole box of something. You getting letters from him … this was from last week. LAST WEEK" HE said throwing them to the table in front of him.

Paige looked at them, the paper, and the words. There was a photo there as well, one from years ago. She with a very young Hunter and a guy, her ex, it was Hunter's father.

"What you have nothing to say?" He asked
"What do you want me to say?" She asked back
"I just wanna know what the hells going on here…I thought what we had…"
"Carter, these are nothing…" Paige shouted back.
"If they are nothing why the hell are they in a box hid away?"
"What were you doing going threw my things" Paige went into defensive mode now.
"I was taking your son to the park, I was getting the baseball bat from the wardrobe" Carter shouted, "I don't understand, you do still love him don't you. You always have"
"NO! All that shit Prue said has done this to you…"
"No, finding letters from you ex, that are still coming and you are still keeping has done this to me. I found them and you know what all I can think about is that stupid dinner with your family! About all the stuff Prue was going on about… about you and Dave, and Hunter…she's right isn't she, you could never love anyone like you did him"

"NO! It's not like that at all, Carter, you have got it wrong. I love you; I mean that, I really love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone. These letters mean nothing to me, but Dave's Hunter's father, he always will be…"
"Do you write back?"
"Not often, twice a year, that's it…I just let him know how Hunter's doing…"
Carter shook his head and turned his back on her, she was pissed right now, "I pretended that everything the other night at your house was just your sister shouting her mouth off. I mean hell I've got brothers I know what it's like – they'll do anything. But it wasn't everything she said that happened did, and you still have feelings for him…"
"Look, Prue had no right to say what she did. She had no right to put you down and she had no right to tell you what happened between me and Dave. It's in the past…the only past he'll ever play in my future is been Hinter's father that's it. I could never love him after what he put me threw…don't you see that?"

"You know what, I thought I understood this. My brother told me to steer clear you had a kid and a past and…" Carter stopped, and rested his hands on the sink sighing. "I LOVE YOU…so I couldn't walk! I was prepared to take on your family Paige, to take on your son and to even fight against your sisters, to show them that I'm a good guy and that I'm not just the ex con! I mean the other night at dinner when they asked about my past I was terrified that it'd let you down some how, that I would have shown you up! And after Prue found out she was banging on about this Dave guy, I just wanted to show you… I don't know…just…"

Paige sighed, she remembered the dinner well. They were sat at the dinner table and the conversation switched to Carter, they were asking him all kinds of questions – most of them been simply about his job and stuff but then Prue kicked in with the big sister gig and started interrogating him and when she asked about his past it's when he unenthusiastically explained about his time in prison – it's all Prue needed to hear to know that she hated him! From then on it was sly comments all the way and it lead on to her practically explaining about how alike he was with Dave. Paige could have killed Prue for that.

"Cart, I mean it this mean nothing. Dave just wants to know how his kid's doing!" Paige was holding back the tears, "What do I have to do to show you this isn't anything more?" She asked.

"Nothing, you don't have to show me anything!" He shouted, "I just…" Carter slammed his fist down on the counter, "I'm going out" He swung around and started out the kitchen Paige followed.
"Carter, wait…Please…" HE didn't though, he just continued to walk away. Paige sighed and did in fact let a tear trickle down her check as she turned back to the kitchen.

------------------------------------------------------

"Sleep tight dude"
"Webbe? Is mommy sad?"
Phoebe nodded her head, "Scoot" She encouraged and Hunter did move over, Phoebe sat on the edge of the bed. "Dude listen to me, mommy had a fight with Carter, you know like when I have a fight with your mommy and I shout at her and then we spend some time apart…"
Hunter nodded his head.
"Well it's like that, mommy's just sad is all"
"Is Carter coming backs?" HE asked as he tiredly rubbed his eyes.
"If I have anything to do with it" Phoebe smiled, and noticed the young boy suppress a yawn, "no sleep tight because you got school in the morning" Phoebe kissed his forehead and he wrapped his arms around her neck and they sheared a hug. "night night!"

she sat in the kitchen with her head resting on her head as she looked threw the letters, looked at the photo – she remembered the day it was taken. It was one of the last times she had been with Dave before the police came knocking. He had put her threw hell.

"Hey sis" Paige didn't move, she didn't even react. Phoebe took a seat next to her, "You okay?"
"I've lost him" Paige mumbled.
"He'll get over it Paige"
"You didn't see him Phoebe, he hated me"
"Not possible, look he's just putting it all threw his head I mean it's a lot to take on. Before Dave was just a name to him now, These letters, the photo what Prue said it has all made it more real. He's just going to need some time"

Paige didn't answer, she just nodded her head –

Phoebe took the photo from Paige's hand and gathered the letters up into a pile. She took Paige's hand and pulled her to her feet. "You need ice cream" Phoebe laughed, "I mean I would say a strong drink but with you been a recovering alcoholic and what not…"
"Yeah well I'm thinking that the drinks a good idea." Paige spoke quietly.

Phoebe took the ice cream from the fridge and grabbed to spoons, "Sis, the bottle's never good, I mean learn from experience dude." She turned more stern now hearing Paige's tone was so calm and serious, "I see you drink Paige Carter will be the last of your worried you got me?"

Paige didn't respond, she just walked onto the living room and herself and Phoebe sat on the couch. Paige lent her head on Phoebe's shoulder, "You think I shouldn't write Dave?" Paige asked.
"I think Dave is Hunter's father and no matter how much Prue hates him, or Carter doesn't want him to be apart of your life he is, and he's a huge part of Hunt's. He has a right to know how his son is…"
"Phoebe, he's out in a few months…"
"Really?"
"Yeah, that's what was in the letter, it's why I think Carter's so upset. I mean, he said…he wants to try again, try and be a good dad. He knows that me and him don't have a chance but he wants to see Hunter"
"and…you're going to let him?"

Paige though a moment and shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know…I mean he was sent down over four years ago…Hunter doesn't know him. And I don't want to lose Carter…" Paige just let the tears come, why was this all so difficult? And as if things weren't bad enough things were just been added to the list of problems…on after the other, she didn't know how long she could take it for.