Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine.
A/N: Sorry about how long it took me to write this chapter. I'll try to do better, I promise. La Journale d'Histoire Celtique is my own invention, but there might be something of that name out there. American Express and Discover card are not my invention. I'd like to thank my wonderful beta, Dylan S. Thompson.
Lily was curled up on her sofa, a cheap paperback romance on her lap. She was ignoring it completely, instead staring out the window blindly, wondering where Severus was and what he was doing. After the initial shock of his declaration had worn off she'd realized that he hadn't simply been embarrassed, he'd been literally horrified by what he'd said, and that worried her. Lily liked to think that she knew Severus well, but she'd never seen him quite like that. She sighed; there was nothing she could do about it. She'd just have to talk to him tomorrow.
Severus sat in the far back corner of the Leaky Cauldron, staring down at his Fire Whiskey. How the hell was he going to get through tomorrow? He gave a despairing sigh. He must have the world's worst timing. First he realized he was in love the day, the same goddamn day, the girl he loved agreed to go out with someone he hated. Then he left the country the day before she broke up with him. Now, just before he would have to spend at least a week with her, he'd made an ass of himself and actually told her. He disgusted himself sometimes, he really did. He was sitting here, thinking about her, and he didn't even have the nerve to look up her number and call to apologize.
Sirius grinned, and lit a cigarette. It had been a long time since anyone had been this enthusiastic about his music, and it felt good. It had been even longer since teenage girls had cooed over him, since Hogwarts actually, but he wasn't terribly enthusiastic about it, which bothered him a bit. He'd always been... not promiscuous exactly…but more than willing to take what was offered. He'd built his image on it and written most of his songs about various girls, to tell the truth. He'd tried writing songs about other things, but they never seemed quite as heartfelt. He'd been singing some of his older songs, the ones he'd written before Nicola had waltzed into his life and taken over, and now he'd gotten all nostalgic. He leaned back in his chair, and felt a slight twinge of guilt. He probably shouldn't think about Nicola like that, but he did feel smothered once in a while, as loathe as he was to admit it.
He flicked the ash off his cigarette, and gazed up at the ceiling. She'd been mentioning getting a 'proper job' more and more often, as though he hadn't already got one. All right, so he didn't wear a suit and have a regular salary, but so what? He could dip into the Black family money if he needed to; Reggie certainly wasn't using it. And then there was the issue of respectability. So he wore old jeans and the same jacket he had when he was twenty; it didn't mean anything. Nicola had known what she was getting when she moved in with him. It wasn't his fault he was being his normal, unmotivated self. He wasn't like Snape…or Lily.
Although Lily had somehow gotten mellow during the past ten years. By all accounts she was living in a studio apartment, working four days a week. Sirius smiled, remembering the driven, intellectual girl who was so determined to prove herself. She'd held up her college acceptance letter like a trophy, a mad grin on her face that had stayed there for a week. She'd sent him her first published column, and he'd kept it, never mind the fact that it was about a flower arranging competition. She'd been thrilled to hear he still had it, and overjoyed when Snape had asked to see it.
Snape. Now there was a problem. Everyone but Lily could tell he was hopelessly in love with her, and he and Remus were fairly certain that Lily felt something in return, even if they couldn't tell what. The way Severus and Lily felt about each other might cause problems, Sirius worried that if push came to shove, Snape just might choose Lily over his own team, and that Lily might do the same for Snape, and Sirius really didn't like the idea, being on Lily's team as he was. At least he wasn't in a high-risk position; none of them really were, except maybe Remus. Sitting and sketching might not be too obvious, but one slip and he could potentially alert whoever it was who was behind this.
He stubbed his cigarette out, and lit a new one. There was something that was bothering him about the whole idea of shades, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He knew it was an art so dark even his parents had been leery of it, and that not even Voldemort had dared contemplate it. But there was something else, some family with a reputation for trying to... What was it? Raise shades? Create shades? Something like that. He wished he had a few of the more esoteric books from the Black library with him, they'd certainly help. Maybe he should donate them to the Aurors or something; they weren't doing any good moldering at Grimmauld Place.
Remus smiled vaguely and stroked the spine of the book he was shelving. He'd needed to come in and luxuriate in the peace of his library one more time; it wouldn't have felt right to abandon his little domain without even saying a goodbye. He knew he was being sentimental, and possibly superstitious, but there were times when he thought the books were almost sentient. He knew that some of the books at Hogwarts had had some kind of consciousness, so why not his Muggle books?
He felt a sharp twinge at the thought of Hogwarts. The great library had been divided when the school was closed, its contents scattered among the dozen new government run schools of magic. It was, Remus thought, one of the greatest tragedies of the last decade. There was no romance, no anticipation. You got your letter in the Muggle post and you portkeyed to school every morning and home every night. The names of Gryffindor and Slytherin were no more than relics of a bygone era, and of a system condemned by the Ministry as divisive. Remus snorted. They may have been divisive, but they'd helped cultivate traits that had saved his life too many times to count. His mind danced over a few of the occasions, and he winced, shoving that train of thought into the far corners of his mind. Best just to concentrate on the books, really.
The shelving was done too soon, and Remus' mind began to wander towards unpleasant subjects again. James appeared in his mind's eye, scowling and aiming his wand at an unsuspecting Severus. Remus winced; it was far too close to what had happened for to be comfortable. If he hadn't acted quickly, James might have done something Unforgivable. Remus slumped. What the hell had happened to James, to make him this…this unstable? It had been ten years, and he was still fixated on Lily. Obsessed, more like. Had James always been this way? Remus certainly couldn't remember a time when he hadn't chased Lily. He shied away from the niggling thought that he should have seen this coming, and began dusting the shelves. It was a completely pointless activity, but at least it was distracting.
The next day, suitcase and sketch pad in hand, Remus went to his final briefing before departure. As soon as he walked through the door, it was obvious something had happened. Severus held a procedures manual three inches from his nose and glared at it furiously, studiously ignoring the way Lily kept glancing at him, radiating concern and hurt. It took nearly all of Remus' self-control not to thump the two until they admitted that they loved each other. It was none of his business, he told himself, no matter how much it annoyed him to see those two act like idiots. Lily finally noticed his presence, and gave him a wide smile that didn't reach her eyes.
"Remus! You got here fast." Lily exclaimed. Severus nodded curtly from behind his book, and Lily's smile faltered slightly.
He gave them a smile, pretending he didn't see anything wrong. "I thought I'd better get an early start."
Lily fumbled with the paperwork on the table before her, and withdrew a small notebook. "Here's your report book. I've charmed it to transmit sketches as well as reinforcing the usual notice-me-not and Muggle-repellent charms." He took it, and Lily dug through the paperwork yet again. "Here are your ID papers. You are Remy DuBois, an illustrator for La Journale d'Histoire Celtique, based in Saint-Brieuc, Brittany. Passport, driver's license, press card, credit cards and a watch with your name engraved on it." As she handed him each item, his grip became more and more tenuous, until she set the watch on top of the pile, and everything fell.
"Shit!" Remus knelt, and began frantically snatching up the papers. Once he had them all, he set them on the table. "Sorry, Lily." He gave her a sheepish smile. "Out of sheer curiosity, do these credit cards really work, or are they just for show?"
Lily checked a piece of paper. "The American Express draws on your expense account, and the Discover card comes from your next paycheck. They both have a thousand pound and/or 200 galleon limit. That should be more than enough."
Remus nodded. "Anything I spend on lodging and food will be repaid, right?"
Lily shook her head. "No. Instead, a two thousand pound bonus has been added to your next paycheck. It's nominally for returning to service after so long, but the operation is what it's really meant for."
"I suppose that's all?"
Lily nodded and smiled at him, a real smile this time. He turned to go. "Hold on a moment Remus," Lily called.
He turned back. "What?"
"Good luck." Lily grinned at him, and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Now go out there and do your duty."
Remus stood to attention and gave Lily an only half-mocking salute. "Yes, Ma'am!" Then he spun on his heel and left, a smile fighting its way onto his face. Just like old times, he thought, and wondered at the thrill that went through him.
Severus glared at the manual in front of so hard it was surprising it didn't catch fire. The manual, an inoffensive tome on the proper procedures for an armed raid, had done nothing to harm Severus, he merely found it a convenient thing to hide behind. He had no intention of letting the true cause of his distress, one Lily Evans, see just how badly he was affected, not after the way she'd kissed the werewolf. Ex-werewolf, really, but Severus was past caring about the niceties. He was sleep deprived, hung over, and sick with envy; he couldn't be bothered to think clearly. He knew, in the back of his mind, that he'd been insufferably rude to Remus, and he knew he'd be guilty about it later, but now he just hurt too damn much to worry about it.
Lily slumped into a chair. She was relieved by Remus' departure; putting on a brave face like that took a great deal out of her. She'd never been able to lie worth a damn, and her instructors at the Academy had almost despaired of ever teaching her to be able to it adequately. She'd learned, but it had taken far longer than expected. Severus, on the other hand, had already been so adept when they started that he had completed that training unit in a third of the time it normally took. That was part of her current problem, actually. She didn't know if last night's confession was merely a rather mean-spirited joke, an honest if inadvertent admission, or what. She was leaning towards honest admission, but doubt nagged at her. Surely Severus wasn't cruel enough to mock her? She sighed and dropped her head into her hands, completely missing the look of concern and guilt that it engendered in Severus.
I am instituting a new policy of not updating until I have at least one review per chapter. This is not in the least excessive; rather, it is a means of guaranteeing that at least one person has read the chapter the whole way through. For me, at least, there is no point in writing unless someone is reading, thus the new policy.