A/N: KangarooGirl, betty-boo, takerlover21, Torquebabe, leslienicolespeaks, i heart tinkerbell, dogreign, diggingdeeper,Jet and LaLa - big thankyou to everyone for their reviews. I love hearing what people think of the story, good or bad - each to their owni reckon. Anywho - very grateful to all of the above and to those who read but didn't review too. On with the update.

He couldn't hear anything. Not the roar of the engine, not the sound of the radio booming, not even the sounds of the traffic around him. All he could hear was a dull static roar in his ears that just kept getting louder and louder.

He couldn't get the image of Ruby's terrified face out of his mind, the tears on her face as she looked up at him and tried to explain herself. She was pregnant. Pregnant! Almost five months along to boot! He could still feel that nauseated burn in his throat and stomach that he'd felt when he'd heard what the doctor said.. Could still feel his head swimming as he struggled to process the news he'd just been given. For the past five months, he'd been lied to. Ruby had lied to him.

Twisting the wheel sharply, Leon sneered as the car skidded for a moment around the corner, the back end swinging out wildly before he continued speeding down the road.

The last five months of his life had been a complete and utter lie.

Lifting his wrist up to his face he rubbed it across his eyes, growling angrily as the tears spilled down his cheeks. Frustration was gripping him, anger as well.. But the strongest feeling coursing through his veins at that very moment was fear. He was so afraid of the idea of becoming a father again. He wasn't ready for a proper relationship let alone another child!

His throat felt thicker now, the tears falling heavier, slowly graduating to sobs as he pulled the car over onto the side of the dark road. Shutting off the ignition he dropped his head against the steering wheel and broke down.

"I can't do this," he mumbled to himself, his voice hoarse with tears, "-I can't." His arms came up to drape over the wheel, surrounding his head and shutting the rest of the world out for a moment. He started to cry even harder now, so hard it became painful and his chest ached with each ragged gasp for air. His throat soon became raw as he screamed wordlessly into the dark interior of his car, head thrown back against the head rest.

Ruby was his best friend – his one, his only friend. She was his confidant and the person who took care of him and Cade – she loved them. She took care of them as best as she was able. So why could he feel nothing but anger and sorrow at the news of her pregnancy? He felt none of the excited sparks inside he'd felt at the news of Letty's pregnancy, none of the happiness or joy he'd experienced at the very moment he'd found out… Only horror and a heavy unsettling feeling in his gut that he couldn't put his finger on. His chest hurt, as did his head the more he thought about it and he found himself wanting to just close his eyes and never have to open them again.

Memories he'd thought he'd long forgotten were resurfacing, images of a newly pregnant Letty giggling beneath him as he hovered over her belly, singing a soft, off key lullaby to the baby before bed. Her laughter as he draped a blanket over her belly and left her legs exposed, afraid the baby might get cold. He had such fond memories of his life during her pregnancy, how things were then..

.. He couldn't go through that again just to lose it all.. Especially now that Cade had grown so attached to Ruby. He adored her.

Leon cursed himself for letting them get so close to her, for letting her into their lives. They were fine on their own without her – neither he nor Cade needed Ruby to be there for them.

A horrible sinking feeling spread over his body at that thought, but he shook it off angrily. She had lied to him for five months about something so important that it was life altering. A child. He sneered into the darkness. A fucking child!

Sniffling loudly, Leon scrubbed furiously at his face with a spare shirt he'd grabbed from the back seat, trying to banish all traces of his tears. Flicking on the interior light he cursed aloud, wiping his hands over his pale cheeks.

"You look like shit, Orello." He muttered at his reflection in the rear view mirror, wiping his red eyes. Leaning back slowly, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then slowly let it out. He needed Jesse. Jesse would tell him what to do… Somehow.

It was with a look of grim sorrow that he started the car again and slowly pulled back onto the road, heading toward the cemetery.

".. I didn't mean to yell at her like that, Jess – I was just so scared." He sniffled, burying his head in his arms as he leant over the smooth surface of the grave. "I lost Letty because of a baby, don't get me wrong – I love Cade, but I lost her from this sort of thing. I can't lose another woman I care about, Jesse. I can't."

His callused fingertips ran over the gold lettering on the headstone reverently, tracing out the first three letters of Jesse's surname. Both he and Letty were Cade's namesakes.. Ashcroft and Ashlyn were both shortened to make up Cade's middle name. Cade Ash Orello. It was the only way he could think of honouring his dead brother and lover. Both of them had made him who he was, helped him become the man he had been before he'd fallen apart. When Jesse had died, Letty had been his saving grace, his light in the darkness. She was the thing that kept him going. Now that she too was gone, his only light had been Cade… Until more recently when Ruby had wormed her way into his heart as well.

She meant so much to him and he cared more about her than he ever dreamed he could, but even that hadn't stopped his fear from turning him into a monster. He couldn't believe some of the things he'd said to her, the way he'd acted earlier back at the house when he'd confronted her about keeping it from him. He hadn't even given her the chance to explain herself. He'd merely torn her down where she stood and didn't listen to a word she'd had to say.

He'd been so horrible to her, said some completely unnecessary and cruel things in the heat of the moment that he had no right saying at all. The anger was returning now, stronger than before, but now it was directed at himself instead. He'd had no right speaking to her in that manner, nor scaring her the way he did.

Turning his head to rest it on his folded arms, a glint caught his attention out of the corner of his eye and he sat up. There in the longer grass by the side of the grave was one of Ruby's earrings, sparkling mutely in the moonlight. She'd been complaining the day before that she couldn't find it and had damn near turned the house upside down looking for it. Reaching out for it, he curled his fingers around the sparkling purple beads and carefully picked it up, tossing it up and down in his palm a couple of times. Green eyes, still wet with tears, stared at the pretty earring for a moment, his minds eye visualising it hanging from Ruby's ear and dangling against her neck as she turned her head to say something to Cade, her bright beautiful smile lighting up her entire face. She loved him, she really did.

Closing his fingers around the piece of jewellery, Leon crawled forward and pressed a kiss against the cool marble headstone before standing quickly, brushing off his knees as he started back toward the Skyline. He had to get back to Ruby and talk to her. He had to tell her he was sorry.

"Ruby?" He peered into the bathroom, checking to see if she was still in there. He couldn't believe he'd left her in that state after she'd fallen right in front of him. He had to make sure she was alright.

Stepping back into the hall he looked around, perplexed. The house was entirely too quiet for her to be there. When she was home there was always music playing in at least one room in the house and as far as he could hear.. nothing but silence filled the house. Panic started to set in as he moved toward the bedrooms, searching for any sign of her and coming up empty.

"RUBY?" he called out for her, searching the entire house and outside before going back inside empty handed. She wasn't there.

Going back into their bedroom he looked around slowly, his heart in his throat as he noticed a distinct lack of her belongings around the room. The quilt off the bed was gone, as were a lot of her clothes and some suitcases she'd kept beneath the bed. Digging into his pocket he pulled out his cell phone and flipped it open, immediately dialling her number before sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for the ringing to start on the other end. After a moment a prerecorded message cut in and told him that the number he was trying to reach was unavailable and he slowly hung up.

Slowly he dropped to the side, falling heavily to the pillow, eyes closed. He could feel something beneath his cheek and sat up again, peering down at the pillow curiously. He was hoping it was a note of some kind but instead found it to be a photo… A sonagram picture to be exact.

There on the paper in his hand was a picture of his soon to be born child – his little baby that he'd denied not two hours earlier.

"Oh my god," he murmured, lifting the picture to look closer, "-holy shit."

Suddenly it all felt so real. That spark that hadn't been there before was now flickering in his gut and he could feel his heart racing. There in front of him in black and white, plain as day, was his unborn child. His baby. Not someone else's, not a complete strangers nor someone he knew… His and Ruby's baby. Their son or daughter.

The first tears started to leak from his eyes as he realised what had happened. Ruby was gone. She'd left him because of his reaction to the news of her pregnancy. She'd taken her things and left without him knowing because he'd denied their baby. He'd royally fucked up.

He whimpered as he fell back toward the pillow, his heart slowly breaking as he realised he'd messed up much, much worse than before. He'd finally driven her away. All because he'd been afraid to lose her. It had been fear that made him react the way he had and now he'd lost her anyway.

Fumbling with his cell once again, he searched for Angie's name and dialled slowly, trying to control his breathing and tears as he listened to the phone ring.

"Hello?"

He squeezed his eyes shut and bit back a sob. "Mom?" he took a shuddering breath, "Mom, I fucked up. She's gone… Oh god, she's gone.."

"Leon? Sweetie where are you? Are you at home?"

He nodded to himself. "Ruby's."

Angie's calm voice was soothing, but did little to calm him. "Alright honey – you sit tight and I'll be right there. I'll be right there, baby."

The tears started to fall harder as he processed what he'd lost in the last two hours. It was all his fault. "Mom, please.."

She sounded a little less calm now. "I'm coming, honey. You just stay there, I'll be fifteen minutes at the most."

Hanging up slowly, Leon let his phone fall to the floor with a dull thump and kicked his shoes off, then pulled his knees up to his chest and curled into the fetal position and sobbed – the sonagram picture still clutched desperately in his hand.