The day passed with worry and anxiety. I didn't sleep the night before, the day he left me.

I forced myself to remember him before the Xindi's attack on Earth. He was lighter then. He was without a care in the world and he showed me his love more than he showed his Cocker Spaniel. His shoulders weren't dragged with hate and the want of revenge. His face not gaunt and scarred. His eyes were full of laughter and hope. Now they're empty and cold, full of hate and anger.

He puts up a front but I know what he is feeling. To me his barriers can be breached without trouble. I don't work on words.

He shunts what love I give him away. He won't accept it anymore. He is so obsessed with the finding of this weapon and killing as many Xindi as he can.

Although, we did manage to have a nice talk two months back.

Two months back

"Why do you put up barriers to which I don't have to work through?"

"They killed overseven million lives including my own family Jess. I'm not just going to sit here and do nothing. I love you Jess but this is important to me and the survival of Earth. Don't you see or are you blind to the facts?"

"Yes but surely not all Xindi are to blame. I heard that there arefive different specie of Xindi. Maybe only a few of the parties are to blame. Not all. Darren, in some ways they are like us. They have feelings and emotions just like we do…"

"No, they don't. They gave no remorse or made no show of it. Isn't remorse an emotion Jess? Isn't it?"

"Go to basics Darren. They're like us whether you like it or not. They breathe, they reproduce, they move, speak and anything else we do. They may have some extra things that we don't Darren, but they are just like us. I don't like them for what they did any better than you do but I accepted that it was not the whole Xindi races that are to blame except for the select few"

"I don't care. They are going to pay for what they did."

"Our love will die if you continue" I was close to crying.

"I do love you. More than anything. But love can wait, this can't" He stood and went to the door

"It can't wait if you're dead Darren" He just looked at me and left. Overcome with the last proper conversation had turned out I burst into floods of tears. No one came to soothe me, he didn't return to say he was sorry and wouldn't do what he would do.

Back to the Present

His face had haunted me that night and it sometimes still does. It had returned last night so I had gone to the Mess to get some refreshing water. I found the water that the DPU unit in the mess made was more refreshing than of the highland springs in Scotland.

I was about to leave when I had been interrupted by none other than Doctor Phlox. He and I had also become good friends. I found his optimistic character highly amusing, as I was sure he found me so.

I told him of who was going and he gave me counsel but no words can console me at that time but I heeded his words and appreciated his company.

Now I did learn that Darren wanted to go the path he had earlier chosen and I had to accept that.

He's forgotten me.