A/N: Let me know what you think

This was it. The day they are meant to return to the safety of Enterprise. I was allowed to come onto the bridge to wait for him and the rest of his party to return. I sat behind the Engineering station next to Tactical.

It was the first time I had sat in this chair. If it had been in better circumstances I probably would have felt ecstatic but as it was, I wasn't feeling that. I was hoping he would return safely. That Major Hayes had done his best to protect him.

They did come back and had hailed us. It was Major Hayes and it was only on audio. It didn't look good especially when they were five hours late.

We met them in the launch bay after the temporary replacement on Tactical had pulled them back inside.

T'Pol made sure Dr. Phlox was down awaiting the arrival and I followed her down. The walk was silent. The two of us didn't dare to speak. It was if an omen was bearing down upon us. We entered the launch bay control room to find Phlox already on standby, waiting. We stood in silence as we waited for the room to compressurize.

The room finally finished compressurising and we stepped inside the room. The pod looked very battered and looked like it was on its last legs. Its hatch opened and Hayes limbered out. He looked at us gravely and turned back to the open space. He reached inside and with the help from another man who was inside the pod he lifted out the body of the Captain.

I couldn't tell if he was dead or not but he looked it. Phlox was at his side at once, once Hayes had laid him on the floor and returned to the pod. It was not looking good.

T'Pol moved towards the Doctor and I went to Hayes to offer my services. He accepted and we carried the body of the normally cheerful engineer. His face had three cuts along the cheek. Bleeding slightly. We lifted him between us and moved him to the right of the body of our beloved Captain.

The next to come was our Tactical officer which came to much surprise to me but his wounds seemed to appear less apparent. I knew he was alive, I could vaguely hear him breathing. We laid him to the left of Archer.

We lifted about three to four of the MACO's out before Hayes turned to me and said:

"It's best if you stopped helping me now Jess."

When he mentioned my name, I knew what was about to be told or shown to me was not going to be good. I was beginning to know who was the next poor soul.

"He's…well. You'll be very emotional"

"I'll live" I told him firmly, my eyelids betraying my true feelings.

"Still, I think it's best Jess."

I nodded and just stood where I was. I saw Hayes move over to the hatch and lifted a body out with the help of another MACO.

At first I didn't recognise the body but as they laid him on the floor near the pod I recognised the hair. His hair was whitely blonde with thin, black streaks in it. The reason he gained the nickname 'Streaker'. I was by his side at once and I wiped the black soil from his face. I was crying silent hot tears.

"I'm sorry Jess. We did all we could for him. He was a good man and he loved you"

"I know Major" I said, blinking to hold back the tears

Hayes rested his hand on my shoulder and for the first time in my life I didn't mind him touching me. I couldn't hold my tears any longer. I cried and lay on the cold body that was Darren.

I was mumbling and I couldn't hear much of what was happening around me. I caught that Archer and Tucker were still alive but were in danger of dying. They were carted off to sickbay immediately. They kept going back and forth to sickbay carting MACO's and remaining officers.

Thirtyseconds later Phlox came over to me. His voice was gentle.

"Ensign? We need to take him to sickbay now"

I looked at him forlorn and nodded slowly. I was still overcome with tears and two other crewmembers that I didn't know carried him out. Phlox and me followed close behind. We entered sickbay and they placed him on a trolley bed. They covered him with a sheet. A white sheet. I wouldn't let them cover his head. I wanted to do that.

"I'll miss you love."

I kissed him on the forehead and covered his ashen face with the white cloth. A medical officer offered me a chair knowing I wouldn't want to leave. I thanked her and took the chair.

The sickbay remained busy for the rest of the day. Phlox was busy trying to get Commander Tucker and Captain Archer stable. He didn't have to do much work with Lieutenant Reed, as he didn't suffer the same amount of injury. He was also the first to wake. Phlox had asked me, seeming I was relieved of duty for a couple of days if I could just keep an eye on him.

So I was there for when Lieutenant Reed would wake. He woke shortly before three if I remembered correctly and I was the first friendly face he'd seen for a day.

He groaned and I moved towards his bed. I had brought the chair along with me.

"Lieutenant?

When he answered I could barely hear him. His voice was so shallow. I made out an 'uh'.

"You there? You need to open your eyes."

His eyelids flickered and slowly but surely opened. He blinked a few times to get adjusted to the white light.

"Where am I?" He said, barely audible.

"You're safe in Sickbay Sir."

His eyes closed in relief but soon re-opened them with worry again.

"And the others?"

"Dr. Phlox has been trying to get Captain Archer and Commander Tucker stable for the time they've been here so far. The MACO's I don't know about Sir"

The Lieutenant nodded.

"Major Hayes explained that you and…"

"Darren Sir" I answered for him surprised that Hayes would tell him.

"You and Darren were an item. He was a good man even if he was a MACO."

I smiled a little bit but nodded slightly in thanks for the good willed comment.

"Thank you. The Major said the same thing"

"He did his best."

"I know he did"

Lieutenant Reed was very understanding towards my loss. His eyes were full of worry for his superiors and sympathy for my recent loss. I wanted to forget it all. Forget it ever happened and I wanted to go back and stop it all and I wanted to believe it wasn't real. But the fact was it was happening proved it was very real indeed.

I looked at Lieutenant Reed again but he was asleep. He had moved his right hand onto his chest, which was going up and down at a steady rate,

I left him to it. I stood and went to Phlox to find out how Archer and Tucker was doing. I was very concerned for the both of them, considering Tucker was my commanding officer in my job and Archer was my Captain. Plus I wanted to give Lieutenant Reed better news when he next woke.

I found Phlox in his office going over things. He sensed I was there.

"Come on in. I could do with the company. Has Lieutenant Reed woken yet?" He asked, looking at me asI came in.

"Yes, he has but he returned to sleep after five minutes being awake. How are Captain Archer and Commander Tucker?"

"They are stable and their injuries, well, most of them are healed. I predict they will wake in the next day or two. You're welcome to stay" He said.

"Thanks"

I sat in a chair next to the Denobulan. I picked at my nails and looked in front of me. The panel giving no apparent warmth.

"How long were you two in love?"

"Before I joined Starfleet and he joined the MACO's. We grew up in high school together. We had a bond straight away and we both knew it but we waited till we were a suitable age that both our parents would accept. I was assigned to Enterprise so we were separated for a short while but then of course the Xindi attack happened he had joined the MACO's so he got transferred onto Enterprise with his unit. He and Hayes were the best of friends.' I smiled of good memories 'he said that if we were going to marry he wanted Hayes to be the best man."

"I take it you don't like Hayes very much," it came out more of a statememnt then a question

"I used to hate him but now I'm not so sure. When he touched my shoulder in the launch bay I didn't mind him doing so. In fact, I was grateful for it. I don't know how he's feeling about this"

"Perhaps it's best you talk to him"

"I don't know. I just don't want to talk about his death right now," I muttered.

"If you put it off now it will only get you later"

"I know. Your counsel is very much appreciated Doctor," I thanked him.

Phlox just smiled and returned to his work. His fingers darting across the panels.

I relaxed and sank back into the chair comfortable in my surroundings. I eventually fell asleep.

When I woke the next morning I found myself on a biobed. I sat up and ran a hand through my hair. My hair was black with a white streak at the front at either side.

"Hey"

A British voice rose from the bed next to mine. Lieutenant Reed was looking at me. I looked at him from the reaction to the noise of his voice and smiled.

"Hey. How are you doing Sir?"

"Fine as to be expected. Yourself?" he aasked, looking at me.

I knew the Lieutenant could be very polite

"I'm not sure exactly. I've got too many emotions swimming inside me," I told him, looking at my feet.

"Oh? And what emotions would they be?" He asked, his brow furrowed.

"Sadness, Anger, the want of revenge for Darren's death and the others I can't identify"

"Quite a lot then"

I laughed a little. I realised after a while Lieutenant Reed had put his hand in mine. I hadn't realised I was so close to him.

"Everything will turn out fine in the end"

"I hope so Sir."

The Lieutenant released my hand and laid his hand back on his chest. I pulled up a chair and sat beside him.

"So how many days have you got left till you start work again?"

"The Sub Commander said I could have the rest of the week off. I was grateful but I might start a little early. To get my mind off things."

"Hmm."

"What happened down there, Sir?"

"You don't want to know and I don't want to talk about it," He said it firmly. Whatever happened down there evidently was so atrocious that no one would want to speak about it. Even the Major looked as if he didn't want to speak about what happened.

"All right"

We remained in silence for some time until I heard distinct moaning from the other side of the room. I looked at Reed and stood. He seemed to understand. I crossed the room, listening intently. The groan sounded again and I realised it was our Captain. I went to his side.

"Captain?"

"Uh…Who…where," he started, his eyes remained closed but his hands rose sharply. I had to put his hands back on the bio bed so he wouldn't lose circulation.

"You're in Sickbay Sir," I told him.

He slowly opened his eyes and like Reed, he blinked a few times to get used to the light. He then looked at me. His brows furrowed then they eased out again.

"How long have I been out?"

"A day. A day and a half at the most Sir," I informed him, smiling a little. but not much.

"Is that all?"

"Yes Sir" Archer nodded and I saw him close his eyes again, but not for long. he opened them and looked directly at my own.

"The Major told us about you and Darren"

"I know that Sir," I looked down, knowing what was coming.

Archer closed his eyes briefly.

"How's Trip and Malcolm?"

"Lieutenant Reed will be fine, in fact he woke before you did. Commander Tucker has yet to wake Sir,"I said, looking up again. I wondered what I thought was coming didn't.

Archer flexed his fingers and sighed.

"I'm sorry about Darren. He fought bravely although he did go against orders"

"Some of his family was killed in the Xindi attack on Earth. He wanted revenge for their deaths. He…that was all he thought about. I came to understand in the end but at first I couldn't withstand him for that. He blamed it on all the Xindi"

"And what did you say to that?" He asked gently.

"I told him that surely not all Xindi were to blame because basically we're the same. We had most of the same things except they most likely have something extra"

"That's true," he agreed.

Archer closed his eyes again and he didn't open them for some time. He re-opened them and smiled gently at me. It was warming and I greatly appreciated it. He knew my loss was great.

He's gone now and he won't be coming back.

A/N: Please review!