A little Christmas spirit, love and mischief
Hey I haven't done my disclaimer yet have I? well here it is; All of the characters of Gilmore Girls do not belong to me and I say truly with all of my heart that no part of this fic is intended to be in poor taste with racial or religion slander and I apologise If anyone feels this way anyhow I hope you enjoyed the last chapter cos heres the new one
Lorelai sat at the counter in Luke's diner, starved not only for food but for entertainment
Mindlessly she began humming and drumming her fingers on the counter soon she began singing softly "I'm the man who murdered love yeah what do you think of that?"
The elderly couple sitting adjacent to her stared
"Scaring my customers?"
Lorelai almost fell off her chair
"Luke you scared the crap out of me" said Lorelai holding her hand to her rapidly beating heart as Luke poured coffee into her mug
"Right, so were you singing for a reason?"
"Oh you know" remarked Lorelai sipping from her mug "It helped the boredom, scared the old people and helped me warm up my vocals so it was basically a win win situation"
"Well can you not do it again?" said Luke watching the elderly couple leave the diner
"Hmm that depends" said Lorelai playfully
"On what?"
"On what you'll do for me?"
"You mean why I won't throw you out of my diner anyway?" he asked
"Me? Your bestest favourite customer? I think not" she laughed self-assuredly
"Bestest isn't a word" said Luke
"Beside the point"
"So what would I have to do for you to not sing, hover, take two tables, make a spectacle of yourself, play bagel hockey or anything that may anger me or scare away my customers?"
"You're going to take away all my benefits?" asked Lorelai, her lower lip trembeling
"Everything but being served"
Lorelai stuck her hand out "Deal?" she offered
Luke took her hand
"Huh!" exclaimed Lorelai "You don't even know what you have to do for me!" she put on her best hey I'm pretty and smart smile and threw her arms in the air in triumph
"What?" spoke Luke cautiously as if he was mere centimetres from a bomb about to explode
"You have to be in my performance for the annual Stars Hollow Christmas Eve Pageant!" Lorelai declared gleefully sipping her coffee
"No Lorelai" said Luke putting a hand up in front of him "look" he said pulling out a bagel and setting up the salt and pepper shakers "Play bagel hockey all you want, Look! There's people coming in, when I make their food I'll let you cough all over it in their sight you can have coffee refills no questions asked I wont even try to replace it with decaf!" he finished desperately
"No, no and no my dear Lucas you will be in my act for the pageant" she said calmly yet triumphantly "besides do you know how they make decaf? They soak the beans in methylene chloride and do you know what that's used for?.....paint stripper and engine degreaser!"
Luke looked at Lorelai
"Do I really have to?"
Lorelai nodded, exceptionally satisfied
The bell above the door sounded the arrival of Rory
"Hey" she greeted her mother gratefully slipping into her stool and sipping her coffee
"Guess what?" said Lorelai, her eyes twinkling
"What?" asked Rory loosening her scarf
"I have a new partner for my act on Christmas Eve"
"You're joking!" said Rory, sure her moms performances were always great but they're wasn't exactly a queue around the block to be a part of it
"You'll never guess who"
"The dalai lama?" guessed Rory
"Tried but he wouldn't agree to the whole costume thing besides he'd take all the attention away from me, you know what a media-whore he is"
"So who?" asked Rory
"Lucas"
"Ha, that's funny" said Rory "You could have at least made it believable"
"You doubt the word of Lorelai?" she asked, an eyebrow perfectly arched "Oh Luke!" she called
"What?" he said filling their cups and avoiding Lorelai's eye
"Rory doesn't believe that you're gonna be in my act for the Christmas Eve pageant, would you like to tell her that I'm right?" Lorelai swivelled back to face Rory "As always?"
Rory looked at Luke who just closed his eyes as if to wipe the whole thing from his mind
Rory turned back to Lorelai "You're powers are greater than I know" she acknowledged and pushed her full cup towards her Cheshire cat-grin mother
"Oh yeah" said Lorelai sipping her coffee
Later that night
"So what are you gonna do this year?" asked Rory biting into her pizza as they sat on the couch
"Well now that Luke's in it it's gotta be something really good and really embarrassing for him"
"You could make him Rudolph?" Rory suggested
"No you see true art of comedy subtlety my friend, so it has to be something really simple but because it's Luke of course it's hilarious"
"You aren't going to make him sing are you?"
"No he doesn't really strike me as the singing type"
"Really?" asked Rory "You can't picture him in the shower?"
"Dirty!"
"I meant him singing in the shower"
"What would he sing?"
"Jimmy boffet?"
"Oh my god" laughed Rory
"What?"
"I just totally got a mental image of Luke trashing his head around like the Muppets"
Lorelai stared at her
"You know how they boff and bop their heads around and their hair goes really high?"
"Yes!" said Lorelai as Rory wiped the tears from her eyes "Oh my god that's hilarious" said Lorelai as she began to laugh hysterically
"Luke's the Muppet man!"
"I know" said Lorelai as she fell on the floor
Rory's sides hurt from laughing so hard
She joined her mother on the floor "So really; what costume are you gonna make him wear?"
"Santa Claus"
"That's so boring!" Rory protested "It's not even funny"
"Oh it will be" said Lorelai "It will be"
Did you like that one could u see the whole Muppet head thing? My friend did it on the bus the other day – it's hilarious. I'm sorry I haven't updated but some relatives flew in as a surprise for Christmas so we've been looking for kangaroos and koalas with them and decorating trees and madly shopping for extra pressies – it's been great but busy so I apologise – review cos it's bad to not give at Christmas time