Hey y'all. This is Yuki. I totally edited this story and will be doing so over the next...well however long it takes to finish it. I wrote this story 3 years ago and it needs ALOT of TLC...please stick with me.

Title: Life of My Own

Rating: pg-13

Warnings: second season spoilers..."scooba-doobie-doo".

Disclaimer: owned by CBS and affliate stations, not me. oh and "Who are You" is property of "THE WHO" I make on money off this fic thanks.

R&R if you wish.

Gil Grissom was a man of thought.

No one had ever debated that fact.

What he intended to say tonight, he had been thinking about for a long time: even by his standards. It was a problem. His heart told him he was in love and his mind chose to analyze. His scientific mind had been stumped by one of the most human questions of all.

'Why?' was scientific enough to get a grasp on; biological signals, chemical reactions…these where easy. 'What?' had been giving him problems ever since . . . ah . . . the fateful 'When?' He knew when --- chalk --- that had been when. No one had ever looked at him like that. She had cared, he knew they all did, but if she had looked at him like that some time prior, HE had never noticed. This, if he was honest with himself, was entirely possible; probable, he amended. There was softness in those brown eagle-eyes of hers, a softness that he rarely saw and that was rarely directed at him.

'Hey, are you ok?' She had dared to touch his face, dared to look at him as though he were human. The irony of the 'Where?' of his epiphany was not lost on him; outside of a crime scene. The 'Who?' that had gotten the master criminalist was thirty-three year old Sara Sidle.

When Grissom had identified the feelings he had toward Sara, he had found him self at a clashing of obligations. He had known her for a long time; he had been her teacher in college. It was awkward, one had to admit.

Grissom was painfully aware of the fact that since he had never figured out when to show emotion, he had opted to cut out showing it all together. Resulting in the inevitable, 'I wish I was like you Grissom, I wish I didn't feel anything,' shit that she had pulled on him. She had never known how much that hurt. He never planned to tell her. But if that was how she truly felt, there was his obligation to her. What if…stupid 'what'… what if he wasn't good enough. He couldn't change what he was; a tired, unemotional, old man.

The obligation to his job, he was her senior, her superior. If Mobley ever found out, Grissom was sure that there'd be more than hell to pay, it may be his job. The relationship would be inappropriate, and they would surely move Sara to day shift…something Grissom told himself he couldn't deal with. They where a family, him and his team, no matter how strange and dysfunctional they where at times, they all learned to work around and with each other; turning them into the top CSI lab in the country.

Then again, there was the obligation to his heart. He always tried to tell the truth to himself and those he considered his friends. Silence was a lie, Grissom had done his job too long not to know that.

He never thought about any of this at work; only in the sleepless afternoons, at home in his townhouse, where all that could go wrong danced in his weary mind. 'Never' did not extend to today. Today he had something to tell her; the truth. Damn the consequences. He was sick of hiding behind lies and excuses. That and he owed her a dinner.

He glanced at his watch, Sara was due any second. He decided to go outside to wait for her. Like him, Sara was always early for work. Grissom glanced at the clock; they had an hour and a half, if she showed up when she usually did. Enough time for a nice burger joint.

He shut and locked his office door. He was risking a lot on this he knew, but if she could love him, could share his feelings; he gave himself a mental shrug, maybe he wasn't such a hopeless case after all.

He smiled slightly as he stuck his head into Greg's lab, "Hey Greg, I'm going out for a while, but barring some massive explosion, don't page me, ok?"

Sanders glanced up at him from the microscope he was looking into, "Yeah, alright," he looked back down.

There was a pregnant pause as Grissom let the young man think through what he had said. Greg looked up again and blinked rapidly, as if he had just been slapped in the face. Grissom leaving the office an hour and a half before shift started? He looked suddenly to the door. "Why?" "I have a date," he tapped the doorframe and made to leave.

"Wait," said Sanders blinking again, "You have a date?"

"Yeah, is that a problem?" Grissom said in a tone that he seemed to use a lot with Greg. The one that said 'yes' and 'what don't you understand' at the same time.

"Dude, I haven't had a date in weeks!" said Greg.

"Well, you can't be good at everything," Grissom said lightly and walked out. Sanders' smooth brow crumpled as he tried to decipher weather that had been a complement or not.

Then he heard the young man mutter "'can't be good at everything'" and something about being under appreciated. Grissom stuck his head back in.

"Oh and uh . . ."

Greg startled, he had thought he was alone.

"My name's not 'dude' Greg."

Greg was visibly flustered, "Right boss, sorry."

Grissom smiled the half-irritated smile he reserved solely for Sanders and said, "Bye Greg."

He shook his head as he walked down the hall toward the parking lot.

That kid was great; Grissom liked him more than he'd ever tell him. Greg had heart, though it was hidden behind a childishness that he never seemed to grow out of. Every man to his own…Grissom paused…as long as 'every man' wasn't doing anything too annoying in his lab. Part of Grissom sympathized with young Sanders, part of him wished that all the childishness would just go away and usually the later part of him won.

Gil Grissom stepped out of the building and into the waning light of the sun.

To wait for Sara . . .

To wait for hope . . .

What he got --- was a bullet.

Roll opening credits and :-D THEME SONG! WHHHOOOOO are you? WHO WHO? WHO WHO? I really wanna know a-WHOOOOO are you? WHO WHO? WHO WHO? Come on a-tell me a who are you YOU? YOU? YOU? YOU? YOUUUU? Yay!
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