II. Security Sucks

"Stuck!" shrilled Elena. "We can't be stuck!"

Reno absently kicked at the doors. "We're stuck alright."

Tseng groaned and brought his hands to his head, turning to face the back corner.

"No, no, no, this isn't happening," Elena grabbed at her hair and stared wildly around the elevator. "No, this is all a bad dream, a VERY bad dream!"

Reno threw her a slightly bemused look.

"What's up with you?"

"I don't like small spaces," gasped Elena. With her usually neat blonde hair now a tad frizzled, she was looking somewhat like a frightened chocobo. "Ever since I was little I've had nightmares about being trapped in enclosed spaces and not being able to get out!"

Reno looked around. "It's not that small in here. I mean, it's not like we're going to run out of oxygen or anything. Look," he pointed at the potted plant he had crushed moments earlier. "We've still got that!"

Elena didn't seem very consoled by this: she glanced down at the drooping, wilted plant, an expression of sheer alarm crossing her face.

"Reno! You killed our only source of air!" she exclaimed. "We're all going to be dead within the hour!"

While Elena lapsed into hyperventilation, Rude – who was usually, for the most part, emotionless – had also begun to look increasingly concerned.

"Don't tell me you're upset that I killed the plant too," asked Reno, dryly.

"…going to be wondering where I am…" muttered Rude, vaguely.

"Who is?" Reno was deeply intrigued. "You're meeting someone this late? You? Rude, you party animal! And why didn't you tell me you'd got yourself a girl, yo!"

"I haven't."

Reno blinked. "Ahh, I see. Well, personally I didn't pick you of all people to swing 'that' way, but-"

"Already told you," interrupted Rude. "My mother's birthday. She's coming to visit. Have to pick her up at the station in…"

Rude glanced down at his watch.

"…5 minutes,"

"She could be waiting a while," said Tseng gravely. "Who knows when we'll be getting out of here."

"You know Rude," Reno started, with a grin. "I'm sorry, but…when I try to imagine your mother, all I can think of is you, in a dress, with a perm."

Rude slowly turned his head to look at Reno, and silenced him with a look that spoke for itself.

"Someone's bound to come," Elena gulped, now pacing back and forth in what little space there was. "If we just stay calm, and wait for a while, someone will notice that the lift isn't working. I mean, heh-" (she gave a nervous chuckle) "People use it all the time! R-right?"

"Its Friday night, Elena," said Tseng morbidly, raising his head. "Everyone has gone home."

Elena groaned in desperation. "What about the guards? They're still here, right? Oh! There must be a button or something you can press when this sort of thing happens!"

"There's a big red one here," commented Rude, looking at the control panel. "It says 'alarm'…"

"Press it!" hollered Elena.

Rude did as he was told. Almost instantly, a glaring red security light began to flash within the elevator, and a shrill whining sound rose up from seemingly all around them.

"It works!" cried Elena over the top of it. "Oh, thank goodness – the same alarm will be going off in the security headquarters, right? They'll have us out in no time!"

Tseng pressed his fingers to his temples, wincing at the intensity of the lights and the horrible noise of the alarm.

"They'd better hurry it up, then," he called.

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A good five minutes later, the alarm was still flashing, and there was no sign that anyone else had noticed it, other than the four current inhabitants of the lift. The combination of the ear-splitting siren and red flickering light was beginning to take its toll.

"Do you think anyone's coming?" shouted Reno.

"What?" yelled Elena, her hands over her ears.

"I said, do you think anyone is coming?"

"How should I know!"

"What? Can't hear you!"

"I said HOW SHOULD I KNOW!"

A few more painful moments passed, frustration building and tempers rising.

"These security systems are stupid!" cried Reno, squinting up into the flashing light. "Imagine if we were in here all weekend, with THIS thing going!"

"Alright, that's it, I've had enough!"

Tseng had spoken, and he looked far from happy. "Can't we just shut it off?"

Elena gaped at him in horror.

"But – Sir! If we shut it off, they won't know we're here!"

"Either we stop it," Tseng shouted. "Or I go insane. Rude!"

Rude looked up, obediently.

"Do something! Anything!"

Rude nodded, and without much warning, kicked violently at the control panel with such force that the entire elevator shook. The whine of the alarm fizzled out into a low hum, the glaring red lights stopped flashing and the alarm button itself rather comically sprung off the control panel and bounced onto the floor.

The silence that followed was golden, and so appreciated that all four Turks let out simultaneous sighs of relief.

"Any longer and my ears were gonna start bleeding," said Reno, twitching. "Nice work, Rude. Although…" He peered down at the now slightly dented control panel, and the wires sticking out from where the button was now missing. "I think you broke it. They'll probably fine you for that, yo. You know what Shinra's like,"

Tseng slumped into a corner with a moan, his head resting on his knees.

Rude looked over. "You ok boss?"

"My headache's been upgraded to a category 2 migraine," mumbled Tseng from under his sleek black hair.

Elena had resumed looking distressed – the fact that Tseng was in agony joined her existing claustrophobia, and as a result she looked close to breaking point.

"It won't be long now, Sir," she said comfortingly, sitting down next to him. "The guards would have heard the alarm, so they'll be on their way soon!"

"You wanna bet?" chuckled Reno, now absently pressing random floor buttons. "They're probably playing 'Snap' or something instead,"

"Why must you be so negative!"

"I'm only being realistic," said Reno, defiantly. He smirked. "Graveyard shift is one big coffee break for the guards, yo. They don't even watch their monitors…"

"Monitors!"

Elena had sprung to her feet. "That's it! There must be a security camera in here somewhere!"

Rude pointed up to the back corner above the potted plant. Sure enough, a small, high-tech camera was situated there, a tiny red light blinking on it as it apparently watched their every move.

Elena gazed up at their discovery in sheer happiness.

"Look!" she said, waving and gesturing frantically up at the camera. "Hello! Can you see us? We're TRAPPED!"

"Even if they're watching they won't be able to hear what we're saying," said Reno, scratching his head in thought. He clicked his fingers as an idea sprang to mind. "We need to make a sign!"

In one swift movement, he had grabbed a red marker out of his top pocket, swiped the first page of Elena's report from where it lay on the floor next to Tseng and scrawled the word "HELP" in big letters on the back.

Elena looked on, gaping, as Reno held it up to the camera, pointing at what he'd written.

"You just wrote on it!" she squeaked.

Reno glanced down at his handiwork. "Apparently so."

"Reno!" she snapped. "Do you realise what you've just scribbled on?!"

"Uh…" Reno raised an eyebrow. "Your gold-star worthy, ass-kissing, ticket to lunch with Tseng?"

Already being quite emotional over the whole situation, Elena promptly flew off the handle at this last comment, visibly swelling with rage, and letting out an angry shriek as she launched herself at Reno, punching him repeatedly in the arm.

"Ow! Ow! Ok! I'm sorry! Ow! JEEZ!"

"Of all – the people – I could have been – stuck – in a lift with – it HAD – to be YOU!"

"Don't think the camera works," said Rude calmly.

Elena froze, mid-punch, and Reno looked up from where he was cowering.

"Huh?"

Rude was looking up at the camera and frowning. He turned back to the others.

"Some moron's stuck a piece of gum over the lens."

As this depressing statement sank in, Elena gave an anguished sob. Tseng groaned. Surprisingly enough, though, Reno smiled. He looked up at the camera fondly.

"Actually… I think that was me."

Elena rounded on him, looking furious.

"You just ruin everything, don't you?!" she howled, punching him even harder.

"Hey! Don't blame me, there weren't any bins! There was nowhere else to stick it!" Reno protested, feebly trying to fend her off.

"Well I could've told you where to stick it, that's for sure!" Elena retorted crossly.

Tseng looked up at Rude.

"I get the impression," he said, over the racket of Elena and Reno, "That you, me and the potted plant are the only sane beings in this godforsaken lift."

D-chi – you must have read my mind about the skittles thing! Yup, I do have something planned concerning food…stay tuned ;)

Shiankra – Your name…it's awfully familiar. Do you hang around at the advent children forums, per chance?

Keep an eye on me,folks, there'll be more soon!