Hi everyone…thanks for your continuing reviews, it means a lot.
Chrissie0707: Thanks. I hope you like the chapter.
Rojaji: I think Nick feels much better now and you are so funny about Catherine.
Tefla: I'm not really sure I fully displayed the emotions in this chapter. Keep looking around…there's more to come.
Nickgilgreggonumber1fan: Thanks for the review. Yea Nick trusts them with his life.
Dumbandhappy: Thanks I hope you like the chapter.
Mma63: Thanks. You will just have to read the chapter. I'm just not sure if I really hit the emotion right, but you guys will get the idea. Let me know.
Happy-me-111: Hello! Thanks for the reply about the question. I think that it's cool to that the readers get acknowledged at least the ones that review ;-). I hope you enjoy the next chapter. Take care!
Snowangel-983: Thanks…hope you like the chapter.
Angelic Little Devil: Sorry…you just posted your review on Chapter 7 right after I posted Chapter 8. Thanks so much. Nick does vent. Take care and keep reviewing.
Catherine was surprised with that last remark. As far as she knew she was the only one that Nick had told about the last minute babysitter. "How could he think that we would think any less of him?" She sure didn't, in fact she thought that he was once of the strongest people she had ever met.
"You guys might want to take a seat." Nick said with a grim determination in his eyes. He made his way back to the bed and sat down waiting for them to get comfortable.
There were only a few chairs, so Greg and Warrick were left standing. They all waited in anticipation for Nick to start.
"Nick, you don't have to do this." Grissom suddenly spoke up.
Nick looked at each one of them before taking a deep breath and speaking.
"Yes Grissom, I do. Warrick is right. You guys are my second family and have been there through most of my hard times." Everyone exchanged glances. What did he mean by that?
"I guess I owe it to you and I owe it to myself." he looked at Catherine who nodded her head at him to continue. "Please understand that this isn't easy for me to do."
"Just take your time Nicky." Catherine said with encouragement.
"You all know my father, and what type of person he is. He is a very strong, determined individual and I've always admired that in him. I've always tried to demonstrate that type of strength and that has made me the person I am today. A survivor. I first became a survivor when I was nine." Nick looks at Warrick with is dark eyes.
Warrick is unable to contain his shock, but Nick continues. "You know how emotional I get on cases with sexually abused children?" Warrick and the rest of the gang nodded their heads in response to his question.
"Well there's a reason for that. I was one of them and it happened when I was nine. It was a last minute babysitter. I never told my parents because when growing up we were always told to be strong and not show any weakness." Tears threatened to fall from his eyes, but he regained his composure.
The CSI's in the room with the exception of Catherine looked at each other to make sure they had heard right.
"For a long time I blocked the memory out, but in working with kids who have gone through what I have, the memory resurfaced. I have been able to keep my emotions in check and keep up the façade, but it wasn't easy." He kept his eyes downcast.
"Amy Hendler, she had no qualms about pulling that trigger and she was this close." He lifted his right and held out his index finger to his thumb. "…And again there I was opened up for someone to hurt me. If it weren't for Grissom I would have been a dead man and I can't thank you enough for that." He looked at Grissom.
"Now we come to Nigel Crane…my stalker. To find out that someone had been watching you in your most personal moments is hard to contemplate. But there he was watching me eat, sleep, shower you name it. I felt violated…again, scared, and paranoid and it's hard to live like that. I'm ashamed of myself, I'm an investigator, and I investigate and notice things for a living. Why didn't I notice anything in my own home? Why didn't I put two and two together when I saw Jane Galloway? These things will always plague me."
Warrick was about to answer, when Grissom put up his hand in a stopping motion. He wanted Nick to continue. Nick had to get this out of his system.
"Now should we get into the whole buried alive thing? Let's see…I'm kidnapped from a fake crime scene and buried alive. Where do I start? You guys watched me just about the whole time…right?"
"Yes Nick we did." Grissom answered.
"Well then there isn't too much to say. You all saw me and you saw my emotions on that web cam. How did I feel? Alone, scared, desperate and afraid to die alone, but I never lost hope. I knew you guys were doing your best to find me. How do I feel today? Anxious and claustrophobic, but not enough to not to my job."
"…And finally we come to Brent Mitchell that SOB. He's a very sick individual. He did his homework on me and knew exactly what buttons to press. There I was again the victim and he played that against me. I was lucky though. Brent had made a big mistake. He allowed the videoconference. Once I saw you guys on that monitor, I knew you would find me. I heard you guys cheering me on when I was fighting with him and that gave me the hope and encouragement that I needed to get through."
"You have to understand that after everything I have been through Nigel Crane, Kelly Gordan, Mrs. Hendler and Brent Mitchell that I'm back to being that nine year old boy who can't protect himself, and the emotional walls that I created go back up. That's how I cope. I'm sorry if that hurts you, its not intentional, it's just me. You guys are the reason I can get through another day, because I know I can come into work and get my mind off of these things."
Nick gets up from the bed and walks back over to the window wiping a tear from his eye, a tear he wouldn't dare show them.
Grissom's gaze follows Nick to the window, "Nick, I'm sorry that this all happened to you, but you have your friends to help you through it. I'm glad that you opened up to us."
"I'm glad too Grissom, but I don't want to always have to be the one that needs protecting. I want to be able to protect you guys. I want you to feel that you can count on me without fail. That you don't think I'm going to shutdown if something happens.I don't want to disappoint you."
Grissom gets up from his chair and walks over to him, "Nick I've never been disappointed in you and its time that you stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. We all know we can count on you."
"Nick we all love you and none of us thinks any less of you. In fact we have a great deal of respect for you and that will never waver." Sara said getting up and giving him a hug.
Catherine got up from her seat as well, "Nick you are one of the strongest people I know. Talking about your feelings and emotions doesn't change who you are, it only makes you stronger."
Nick looked over at Warrick who just stood there. He could tell that he had surprised him.
"Warrick are you O.K?" Nick asked him.
"I can't believe you never said anything to me about any of this." Warrick answered with astonishment.
Nick waited for Warrick to finish, "I know man and I'm sorry, but it's a defense mechanism that's all I can tell you. You know how us Texans are."
"Yea and how's that?"
"Rope 'em and brand them, but never talk about it." Nick said trying to lighten the mood.
Nick looked at Greg, "Are you O.K. with all this Greggo?"
Greg looked back at Nick and said, "Nick, it means a lot that you think of me as family…and please know that we are there for you no matter what. But next time we have a little heart to heart like this there better be some cold beer and popcorn or something."
Nick laughed at Greg's joke. All of the sudden a knock came at the door.
"Come in." Nick said.
Detective Jim Brass entered the room; he looked at all the sullen faces and said. "Who died?"
"Leave it to Brass to lighten the mood." Warrick said with a smile. "We thought you were on vacation?"
"Well not anymore. Williamson called the Sheriff and my vacation was canceled."
"I'm sorry Brass, this is all my fault." Nick said guiltily.
"Don't be ridiculous. I was home cleaning my guns waiting for vacation to be over anyway. Vacation is way overrated." Brass said with a smirk.
"So what brings you by?" Grissom asked.
"Williamson asked me to help transfer Nick to the hotel." He pulled out some discharge papers and handed them to Nick. "Doc says just some rest. You were lucky no concussion."
Nick took the discharge papers from Brass. "Thanks Brass."
"Are you ready to get outta here?" Brass asked.
"Yea man I am. I just need to put on my shoes."
"O.K. sounds good. I'm going to go out and let Reed and Gomez that we are heading out to the hotel. Nick you will be riding with me in my car. Reed and Gomez will lead. Now I'm assuming that these other people that are occupying your room will also be involved in this." Jim looked at Grissom and the gang.
"Yea Jim. We'd like to help. Where do you want us?" Catherine asked.
"Well there's going to be another police car following behind me, why don't you stay behind that one."
"Jim if you don't mind I would like to ride in the car with Nick and you." Grissom said. "I would feel better."
"Sure Gil, that shouldn't be a problem. I'll be right back. Nick you stay here until I come and get you. Not that any of them will let you go anywhere."
"Ha Ha." Nick replied as Jim left the room. "Why do I get the feeling its going to be a long couple of days."
"Because Nick…it will be a long couple of days." Grissom said with a small smile.
Well there you have it chapter 9. I'm not too happy with the way it turned out, but as always be honest with your opinions. Please review!