A/N: Hi all! I know I said this would be the last chapter, but I had too much to squeeze into just one, so I'll round it off at 8, instead. Those of you who were expecting this to be the end…sit tight, there's one more after this! 8 is a nicer number to finish at, anyway. Nearly there!

VII. Keeping it Sane

The Turks felt utterly defeated.

No one knew for sure whether or not Tseng was serious when he had made his threat moments earlier, but neither Rude, Reno nor Elena wanted to risk provoking him any further, just in case. Talking was – for the moment – completely out of the question.

While Tseng himself teetered on the edge of a mental breakdown, the remaining Turks tried their best to be as quiet and nonchalant as possible. Elena had begun to sift through the charred remains of her report, in the distant hope that she might salvage something. Rude stood in the corner, looking generally unaffected by the whole situation, though every so often he spared his watch an anxious glance. Reno seemed to be having the most trouble keeping quiet, and had struck up a tuneless whistle to pass the time.

This continued on for several minutes. It was only when Reno's whistling reached new levels of annoyance (with complicated, curly, wavering notes) that Tseng gave a twitch. Elena noticed this, and panicked.

" Reno," she said, in a deathly whisper. "Stop that. Please."

It was a demand, rather than a request. Reno stopped, mid-whistle.

"Anyway," Elena added crossly. "I'm not talking to you."

"Huh?" Reno quirked an eyebrow at her. "And why's that, yo?"

Elena looked up, scowling and holding a handful of blackened ashes.

"Oh! That…" Reno exclaimed. "Yeah, sorry…"

Elena threw the ashes back onto the ground, her eyes not leaving Reno's as she glared hard at him. Reno shoved his hands into his pockets and averted his gaze.

"It was Rude's lighter, anyway," he said, offhandedly.

Rude's head snapped around at the mention of his name.

"Rude hasn't done anything," said Elena crisply, as she got to her feet, dusting off her hands. "It's just you, it always is!"

Reno blinked.

"You've got a backup copy on your computer-"

"That's not the point, Reno!" Elena spat. "The point is that you did it to annoy me!"

"I did not."

"Yes you did!" cried Elena vehemently, the colour rising in her cheeks. "You're just on this lifelong mission to rub me up the wrong way!"

Reno chuckled.

"That's silly," he muttered. The smile instantly fell from his face when Elena rushed forwards and grabbed him by his shirt, knocking him backwards into the wall.

"I've had it," she growled coldly, her face very close to his. "I've just had enough! I never knew how irritating you could be until tonight! I swear, when we get out of here, I want nothing to do with you ever again!"

"Gonna be hard…we have adjacent offices," said Reno in jest, yet looking a bit concerned about Elena's white-knuckled grip on his collar. Something behind her caught his attention. "Uh…Boss?"

Elena released Reno and spun around. "Sir? Wh-what are you doing?"

Tseng had removed his tie and was fashioning it into a noose.

"I'm going to end my suffering," he said with a wan smile. "If I can just figure out where exactly to hang this from, I'll be all set."

The other Turks stared in disbelief at their boss, sincerely wondering if he'd finally cracked.

"Aw, c'mon boss, don't be like that!" said Reno. "You've got so much to live for, yo! Think about Elena! I don't think I could handle her if you topped yourself in here,"

" Reno! You insensitive jerk!" Elena hissed, elbowing him sharply in the ribs. "Can't you see he's upset?"

"Sir," Rude interjected, "Don't you think you're being a bit...extreme...?"

"No Rude, it really is that bad." Tseng stood up, looking miserably around the small amount of space they had. "Could you give me a leg up to the hatch? Perhaps it can serve some purpose after all, I'm sure I could tie this to the handle or something-"

Elena now looked positively alarmed at Tseng's sudden suicidal thoughts.

"Surely – surely you're not serious?" she asked, as Tseng placed the newly made noose around his neck.

"Elena," he said morosely. "I'm afraid it's my only other option. Either I end it all here and now, or go absolutely start raving mad. I honestly can't take another 5 minutes of this lunacy."

He gave the tie a sharp tug, and it tightened around his neck, causing a sharp intake of breath from Elena.

"Oh Sir, please – stop it! I'm sorry!" she begged. "I'll be less annoying, I promise! You're right - we've been in here too long, it's just getting to us, that's all!"

"He's not the only one losing it," said Reno, worriedly. "I'm so hungry I'm hallucinating."

"Don't be ridiculous," said Rude.

"No joke Rude," Reno moaned, falling against the wall, his hand to his head. "I'm looking at you but all I'm seeing is a triple fudge sundae!"

"Please, Sir!" continued Elena, pleadingly. "It won't be too much longer now. I'm sure we'll get out soon…just, please, don't do anything drastic! We need you! I need you!"

She dramatically fell to her knees and seized hold of her boss's leg.

Tseng thought for a moment, then sighed and loosened his tie somewhat.

"Oh, Sir!" Elena uttered thankfully, clutching his leg even tighter. "I knew you'd see sense! Death is not the answer!"

"No, it isn't. I can see that now," Tseng said, rationally. "My tie's not long enough, for a start. Even if it was, it probably wouldn't work anyway. Nothing does in here. In fact, I'm starting to think this is all one big conspiracy – you know, lock the Turks in a lift, see who cracks first. Heidegger's probably behind it. Always knew he had it in for us."

"You think so?" breathed Elena, noticing the confused look Tseng was giving her, and hastily losing her grasp on his thigh. "I suppose a set-up would make a lot of sense, wouldn't it? No one could be this unlucky, could they?"

"Well," Tseng continued, "Whatever the case, I'd like to keep my sanity in here. What we all need is a simple distraction from the situation, to keep our minds occupied until those clowns at security finally realise we're trapped. Reno, please stop that – hallucination or not, Rude's arm isn't edible. Any ideas?"

The group thought in silence for a moment.

Rude looked up.

"Charades?"

It was hard to tell whether their expressionless comrade was being sarcastic or not, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

"Yes, fine, that'll do," said Tseng, resignedly.

"Party games!" Elena cheered. "Excellent! We can have teams, and different rounds, and then vote for the overall winner!"

"And first prize is a peppermint!"

"Shut up, Reno." Tseng intervened.

"I'll go first, Sir!" Elena volunteered. "I've already thought of one!"

Reno, Rude and Tseng sat down as Elena took the Charade spotlight.

"1 word, 3 syllables," Tseng guessed (already looking bored), as Elena mimed the numbers respectively.

She nodded, and then proceeded to flap her arms.

The remaining Turks watched for a moment or two.

"So…are you gonna start or what?" asked Reno.

"I HAVE started, Reno! That was it!" Elena snapped. "Pay attention!"

"Jeez, I dunno, doesn't look much like anything, if you ask me," Reno mumbled.

Elena rolled her eyes and flapped more fervently.

"…Clinically insane," Rude suggested.

"Clinically insane has more than 3 syllables," Reno mused.

Elena huffed moodily, and began running in circles, still waving her arms up and down in a bird-like manner.

"Mayor Domino?"

Reno glanced at Rude, bemused. "Where'd you pull that one from, Rude?"

Rude pointed to Elena. "He does that when he's mad."

"Oh yeah!" said Reno, in realisation. "He does! Hey, were you there that day I reversed into his car? That was priceless…"

Elena stopped running and stomped her foot furiously, as Reno laughed heartily at the memory. She briefly mimed what looked like a beak and a feathery tail, and then returned to flapping her arms again, a pleading and frantic look on her face.

"Somebody having a heart attack," said Rude.

"Maybe…" said Reno, stroking his chin. "Maybe she's being herself, stuck in a lift!"

"…Perhaps,"

" 'Elena' does have 3 syllables, yo…"

Realising they were getting nowhere fast, Elena gave up.

"It was 'Chocobo', for crying out loud!" she fumed. "Sir, they aren't playing properly!"

"'Chocobo'?" repeated Reno, bewildered. "How that was a chocobo, I'll never know,"

"I'd like to see you do better," Elena snarled.

"Fine,"

The two exchanged places. Reno stood for a moment, deep in thought.

"Well?" Elena challenged. "YOU try to do 'Chocobo'!"

"I can't," Reno confessed. "I was gonna do Scarlet, but I just realised I don't have cleavage."

Elena dealt him a reproachful look. "Honestly," she muttered. "The point of charades is to get the word across to your audience in an interesting way! You could have used a rhyming word, for instance."

"Rhyming? I already thought of that, nothing rhymes with 'cleavage' or 'Corporate bitch', or-"

Tseng sensed that things were getting out of control again. He raised a hand to stop the current discussion.

"Perhaps we'd better forget this riveting session of Charades and try something else," he said.

"Spin-the-bottle?" Reno offered, after a few seconds.

Tseng thought on this for a moment. "Mm. Well, 1: lack of a bottle could prove to be a problem. And 2: …no."

"Why not, boss?"

"Because 'Spin-the-bottle' is something played by drunken idiots at company parties, not the four of us in a lift on the 49th floor,"

"Ah, true," said Reno, running a hand through his fiery hair. "I forgot about the kissing, too."

"Yes, well, funnily enough, Reno, that's what swayed my opinion in the first place," said Tseng, dryly. "I have no intention of kissing any of you."

Elena let out what was unmistakably a small sob. She feigned a light cough when she realised it had caused the other three Turks to look at her questioningly.

"There has got to be something we can do," said Tseng, a note of desperation in his voice.

"'I Spy'?" Elena suggested, brightly.

Tseng sighed deeply. "Fine," he said, through gritted teeth. "Rude, you start."

Rude sat solemnly for a moment or two, slowly turning his head as he surveyed the elevator through his dark shades.

"… 'B'," he said, simply.

Reno furrowed his brow in thought. "Boots?"

"No."

"Buttons?"

"…Yes."

Silence fell.

"That was kinda easy," Reno voiced, unnecessarily. "Rude, I don't think you're very good at this game."

Rude shrugged.

Reno began his own turn, ignoring Elena's cry of "That isn't very fair! You didn't even let me have a turn at guessing!"

"I Spy, with my little eye…something starting with 'E',"

"It's either Elena, elevator or extremely bored," said Tseng, flatly, his head buried in his hands. "I can see this getting very repetitive, very quickly. Maybe we can just-"

"Wrong, boss," Reno jeered, gesturing up towards the hatch. "I was actually thinking of 'emergency exit'! You're not that good at 'I Spy' either, yo."

Tseng was clearly struggling to control his temper. "Considering it didn't prove for us to be much of an 'exit', and certainly wasn't any help in an 'emergency' like this, I don't think it deserves its title. In fact, there will be no further discussion of the hatch; I've had enough of it. Next person to even mention it can consider themselves fired. Now if we must continue with this ridiculously childish game, could somebody please think up something a little more mentally challenging?"

"Hmm," said Elena, thoughtfully. "I know! I Spy, with my little eye…something…beginning with 'I'!"

This baffled both Reno and Rude. Rude gave in, and Reno began suggesting any object he could think of, regardless of whether or not it began with 'I'.

"Jeez…'I', huh…I dunno – door? Camera? Potted plant? There's nothing in here that starts with 'I'. I think you're making things up, Elena."

"No, I'm not. I just don't think you're trying hard enough," replied Elena, curtly, while looking very proud that she'd outwitted Reno.

Tseng seethed at the total monotony of the situation.

"Wouldn't be 'Intercom', would it?" he said impatiently, fiercely pointing to the intercom on the control panel.

Elena's face lit up. "Oh Sir!" she chirped. "You got it! Well done!"

"Well, it wasn't exactly mind-boggling," Tseng replied. "Although certainly more so than Rude's suggestion of 'Buttons', or…"

However, he trailed off, as the exact same intercom he had just revealed as the answer, gave a distinct and very definite crackle.

Reno, Rude, Tseng and Elena stopped, eyes wide, looking to one another.

"Anybody else hear that?"

"Shh!"

They sat perfectly still, listening intently. The intercom crackled again…except this time, there also came a voice:

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

All will be revealed next chapter. So, stay tuned for the gripping (well...mildly so) conclusion of Elevator Hell!