A/N: Sorry I didn't write all weekend. I went north for a family gathering, and unfortunately, the small town I stayed in didn't have wireless! So, I was left to ponder this scene all weekend. Anyway, here it is, and I hope I get a chapter out BEFORE I go on a trip up there next time.

Chapter 4: When I Saw Her Again

So, after that farewell with Padmé on Naboo, I was taken to Coruscant to begin my training as a Padawan. As Obi-Wan had told me, training wasn't easy. And not just the physical aspect, either. Padawans were expected to meditate several hours a day. To sit still and clear their minds of all worry.

I would clear my mind of everything going on, only to be replaced with one person; Padmé.

I missed her so much then. There wasn't a day I didn't think about her. I wondered what she was doing, how she was, what she would look like on that day. I used to imagine what it would be like, if we were too meet again, what she would say to me, what I would say to her.

During those times, I realized that I was more than amazed by her. More than admiring of all that she did.

I realized that I loved her.

Even though I felt joy at that realization, I had to keep my feelings secret. Love is one emotion that Jedi weren't allowed to have. According to the Jedi Code, it impaired and clouded one's judgment, it made Jedi weak. I knew I should have discarded that emotion.

But I couldn't. The love I felt for Padmé was too strong. Soon, it overtook my soul.

I thought about her day and night, and she even haunted me in my dreams. And when I would wake, I would still see her, as I had seen her the night before. All through meditation, I would think about her, without trying to stop.

I kept track of the news, keeping up with her. I saw her in holograms, even saved some, just to keep a look at her. When she came to Coruscant for some matter of politics, I watched her ship, feeling happy, knowing that she was on the same planet I was.

When I was older, and she came to the capitol, I took a speeder, and got closer to the docking bay, and got a small glimpse of her as she exited her ship. My heart raced, I had seen her.

But it would have been perfect if I had been able to see her face.

From then, my love for Padmé only grew, until she was an obsession. Every time I would fight another in training, I would imagine I was fighting to protect her. I was secretly worried, worried that she might have forgotten about me; that she might have changed. I worried even more that she would only see me as the little boy she had met so long ago on Tatooine.

I hoped, that the next time we met, she would see me as more than that. She would see me as what I was to be, a Jedi.

I didn't hear word of her until ten years after I last saw her. Master Obi-Wan and I were called to the Jedi Council. I was still his Padawan then.

They told us that the Senator from Naboo was currently in Coruscant. After they said that, my heart swelled, since I had heard her terms as queen had ended and she was now a senator.

But after that, the Council had informed us that there had been an attack on her life. I felt fearful for her, an immediately wished to kill whoever had done this.

After their explanation of how it had happened. They told us that a guard had been requested for her; us. We were to protect her while she was here, since we had been told there was a very important debate going on in the senate at the moment.

I was happier that I had ever been in ten years. Not only was I going to see Padmé, but I was also going to protect her! The nine year old inside of me whooped for joy, but my current self had to mask all emotion not to arouse suspicion.

Even though I was so happy, when we got into the elevator for her apartment, I felt more nervous than I had ever felt. I didn't know what to do. After ten years, I was finally going to see Padmé! I had to look perfect. I had to look older. I started straightening my Jedi robes.

Obi-Wan noticed my nervousness. "You seem a little on edge."

I was hit with another panic. He noticed! What if he noticed about Padmé? "Not at all." I lied, forcing myself to stop my fidgeting.

He, of course, sensed my lying. "I haven't felt you this tense since we fell into that nest of gundarks."

I laughed. At least my nervousness was taken away for a moment with that memory. "You fell into that nightmare, Master, and I rescued you, remember?"

"Oh, yes." He smiled and chuckled at that humorous memory.

After that moment, I went back to my original pangs of fear. Once again, Obi-Wan noticed. "You're sweating. Relax. Take a deep breath."

He was making it sound like I was worried for no reason. He wasn't worried about Padmé seeing him like a little boy. He hadn't been haunted by her for the past ten years. He didn't want to always be there, protecting her.

There was only one way I could explain it all to him. "I haven't seen her in ten years, Master."

When the elevator finally stopped and opened, I my fear doubled. I was here…and what was I supposed to do? What had happened to that speech I had prepared so long ago?

But, we weren't greeted by Padmé. We were greeted by Jar Jar. He recognized Obi-Wan first. The gungan ran up and shook his hand. "Obi! Mesa so smilin to seein yousa!"

"It's good to see you again, Jar Jar." Obi-Wan said.

The gungun led us into the living room. "Senator Padmé," My heart stopped as I saw the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on walk away from the balcony. "Mesa palos here. Lookie, lookie Senator. Desa Jedi arriven."

When she came closer, I got a better look at Padmé. She was more beautiful than I had remembered, and had barely aged at all in ten years. It had only served to make her more beautiful. Now, I wasn't sure if I would be able to say anything, since all I could do was stare at her. Taking in her beauty.

Obi-Wan spoke first. "It's a pleasure to see you again, Milady."

She shook his hand, and spoke in a voice that I had long remembered. "It's been far too long, Master Kenobi."

Padmé turned to me, and must have noticed that I was staring at her. "Ani?"

My heart soared. She hadn't forgotten about me! I walked closer, smiling. As she looked at me, I looked into her eyes. Those eyes that could see right into your very soul. "My goodness, you've grown."

I felt even more giddy. She had noticed that I was older! Well, it was hard not to notice, but that fact that she had acknowledged that I had grown up was enough for me. I needed something to say, since I could barely speak as it was. "So have you." As my eyes washed over her again, somehow, "Grown more beautiful, I mean." leaked out.

She stared at me, her smile gone. Same with everyone else in the room. I hadn't meant to say that out loud. I had to cover up somehow… "Well, for a senator, I mean."

I mentally slapped myself. That made it sound even worse. Fortunately, Padmé was able to help me out in my cover up. She gave a small laugh. "Oh, Ani, you'll always be that little boy I knew on Tatooine."

My heart sank. So, she still thought I was a little boy. Even worse, she had used the word 'always'. Meaning I'd always be that little boy to her.

I'd always be beneath her.

That was not how I had planned things. When we were to meet again, she was to be enthralled by how much I had grown up. Padmé was supposed to be impressed by me being a Jedi.

That was the problem right there. I wasn't Jedi. Even though I was ready for the Jedi Trials, and had told Obi-Wan so, he didn't think I was ready yet. He said I was too 'unpredictable'. I replied that a Jedi must be unpredictable so that the enemy wouldn't be able to guess his next move.

He told me Jedi didn't talk back to Masters' either.

I was angry, I admit it. I wasn't angry at Padmé, I couldn't be angry at her. The problem lay with the Jedi, and Obi-Wan, not letting me move on.

It was their fault she didn't see me for who I was.

But, even though I wasn't a Jedi, I had to act older, in order for Padmé to see me for who I was. That even backfired. At the end of the day, she still thought of me as the little boy she had met ten years ago.

I understood that when we had met, a difference of four years was a lot, but now, it hardly mattered. We should have been equals.

But, to her, I was still four years younger. And she would only see me as such.

I made another promise to myself, one I knew I must keep. I promised, that one day, she wouldn't see me as the little, nine year old slave boy on Tatooine.

One day, she would see me as the twenty year old Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Knight.

One day…Padmé will see…

And then…

Who knows what will happen?

A/N: Short this time, but it was done in a bit of a hurry. Anyway, all the scenes from Attack of the Clones, I did in Padmé's POV in To Love a Jedi. I hope that people will check that out, because it helps to better understand the story.

Reviews, Anyone?