A/N: Nothing much to say. Why do I even write these notes when I have nothing to say? It only proves that I am indeed, insane.

Chapter 5: Lure of the Forbidden

After that meeting again after ten years, I noticed that being around Padmé was even harder now. My thoughts dwelled on her more often than ever; there wasn't a second I didn't think of her.

Being around her was intoxicating. Whenever I was close to her, my mind was not my own. I couldn't think straight, couldn't comprehend what I was saying or doing, I only thought of one thing.

Padmé.

But these feelings turned sharply downward, into depression, since I knew she still thought of me as a child. She didn't see me for what I was.

That made me angry. Angrier than ever that I was not yet a Jedi, still a Padawan and still, inferior.

When she told me I had grown up, my heart swelled, thinking she had finally seen through the memory of the nine year old boy on Tatooine, but my hope was soon diminished when she told me that I couldn't grow up too fast.

I turned around, and looked her in the eyes, telling her that I was grown up; she had told me so…only to see those chocolate brown orbs staring back at me. I glanced at her, in all her beauty, and couldn't help myself if I went misty eyed looking at her.

I can remember even now as she saw how I looked at her, saw how I adored and loved her, how I couldn't think when looking at her, and how she worriedly whispered, "Please don't look at me like that."

Dormé was still in the room, so I knew why she was whispering. But even with her lowered voice, I sensed her panic. She was frightened because, even for a moment, she saw how much I loved her.

If I was in my usual state of mind, I would have instantly removed the look and apologized over and over for it…But suddenly, I didn't care. I felt rebellious whenever I was around Padmé. I continued looking at her. "Why not?" I whispered back, a small hint of defiance in my voice.

She suddenly walked away, wanting to get out of that situation as fast as possible. "It makes me feel uncomfortable."

As she went back to finish packing, I looked back at her, and couldn't help but smirk. She didn't like it when I revealed how much I was enamored by her. How much I didn't care about breaking the rules. That frightened her. Could it be…she was frightened because she loved me too?

Still smirking, I apologized, "Sorry, milady."

The next day, we left Coruscant. Both of us, on our own. Without guards or Obi-Wan breathing down our necks. Alone. The both of us…Padmé and I…would be alone. The thought registered within me, and it made the fires leap within me.

It made me almost lose all control over my actions. My feelings were displayed so profoundly, that it was impossible for her not to notice. But…I soon noticed that she, too, seemed to be thinking the same thoughts as I was.

When we were bound for Naboo, as refugees, she asked me if my life was hard, as a Jedi. I replied that I couldn't be with the people that I loved.

Continuing our discussion, she asked, "Are you allowed to love? I thought that was forbidden for a Jedi."

I gave a small smile. Ah, yes, love. So it was forbidden. But of course, I had given up caring a long time ago. Yes, it may have been forbidden, but I had felt temptation to love, temptation for the forbidden, for many years. "Attachment, is forbidden." I admitted. "Possession is forbidden. Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is central to a Jedi's life."

I continued, looking straight at her, beautiful angel, "So, you might say that Jedi are encouraged to love." I smiled, once again meeting her eyes.

Padmé smiled back, but looked down and broke our gaze. "You've changed so much."

She was starting to notice! With her admiration of what I had become, I spoke without thinking, "You haven't changed a bit. You're exactly the way I remember you in my dreams."

Bad move. Padmé stared at me, her smile lost, and the frightened look once again returned to her eyes. But I noticed something else…something greater. Not really a longing, but more of…a moment of weakness. She looked away and we said no more.

Padmé was worried, and I knew of what. If we both chose a path, a path that I had been waiting for years to lie at my feet, there would be no turning back.

No turning back from embracing the forbidden.

But I, at least, was fighting a losing battle. I didn't know how long I'd be able to keep my sanity around her, with Padmé making my heart race and making my mind lose all judgment.

I was at least able to keep my feelings from bursting into full bloom until that day…

It had been decided that in order to be protected, Padmé should be moved to the lake country, since it was isolated there. In ten years, I had forgotten how beautiful Naboo was. I was always enthralled by the lakes, the meadows, the flowers, everything beautiful.

The only thing more beautiful than the scenery was Padmé.

On the day we arrived at the lake retreat, she wore the most beautiful dress I had ever seen her in. It was hot that day, and she wore rainbow robes that revealed her bare back.

It took all my self control not to reach out and touch her, to feel her smooth skin beneath my fingertips.

Since I was from a desert planet, I usually didn't feel the heat. But I certainly felt warm that day. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead from this fever Padmé put me in.

As we arrived at the palace after crossing the sparkling lake by skiff, Padmé smiled as she looked upon the place. It was a smile that lit up the day like the sun never could. "This place is so full of memories." She murmured, as I helped her out of the skiff.

As she smiled, Padmé turned to me, making my heart rise. "Let's have a look around."

I smiled back, following her as she led me around the palace, pointing out various things and explaining them to me. She had obviously been there before, but she hadn't told me when. It was a secret that I knew I would have to open, just like many other she had that I wished I could unlock until I knew everything about her.

We ended up on the balcony overlooking the lake, its cool water sparkling in the sun, the meadows and hills behind it a bright green. Everything filled with life. I asked her, "You mentioned you were here before."

She nodded. "We used to come here for school retreat." Padmé smiled as dwelled her past. "We used to swim to that island every day." I remembered the island she had spoke of before. "I love the water." She continued.

There came that word again. Love. That emotion that the Jedi weren't allowed to have. But I didn't care. The Jedi weren't allowing me to move on. The Jedi weren't giving me as much respect as I deserved. They said I was the 'Chosen One', but they, like so many others, treated me like a child. At least Padmé didn't anymore.

Padmé. That brought my thoughts back to love. As I stared at her, entranced by her beauty and splendor, I thought, in defiance of the Jedi and their rules, I love you.

She led me to the balcony, and she leaned upon it, looking at the island she remembered from so many years before. I wasn't looking at it. I was gazing at her, once again fighting the urge to touch her. She continued speaking, but I was barely conscious of what she was saying, since all I wished to do was stare at her all day. "We used to lie on the sand and let the sun dry us, and try to guess the names of the birds singing."

Sand! She said something about sand! What was I to reply? As she looked back at me, I quickly looked away. I started, "I don't like sand." I began fidgeting, flicking away a speck of stone from the balcony. "It's coarse, and rough, and irritating…and it gets everywhere!"

I thought I had made a joke, I threw her a grin, but she didn't respond. I lowered it. I had the incapability to be funny when she was this close to me, looking so beautiful…with skin so soft…

Padmé had such a power over me; this spell she had woven around me was stronger than ever. I had to continue speaking; it was the only think keeping a hold over my actions. I looked back at beautiful Naboo. "Not like here. Here everything is…" I looked back at her, my eyes taking in her radiant form. "Soft…" I reached out my hand. Was I really going to do what I dared? "And smooth…"

And that's when I did it. I lost all free will.

Slowly, I let my fingers trail down her arm, with all thoughts abandoned. All I knew was the pulsing feeling that flowed from her into me. For a second, I was afraid that she would pull away, but she did not. She let me touch her, caress her, feel her smooth skin.

Padmé didn't respond, she just stared forward as if she didn't notice. At first, I felt her tense up when I touched her, but she slowly relaxed. Venturing even further, I let my fingers trail down her back, feeling hypnotized from the contact.

She gave a small gasp, and pulled away, only to look back at me. She may have looked frightened at first, but it was soon replaced with longing. Longing for something forbidden. For something we both couldn't have. And I knew, in that instant, that Padmé also felt the strength of that prohibited feeling.

That feeling, which no matter how much we had resisted, we were falling headfirst into. It was no more a matter of guessing one others emotions, or hoping that one day they would feel the same for you. Now it was a matter of trying to retain one's self despite the enticement.

But the more I stared at her, the more I knew that it was wrong, it made me want even more what I couldn't have. The small smile I had dropped away, as a greater power made me move closer to her, wishing more than anything to close the gap between us.

It was a crazy idea, but something told me to do it. Something controlled me. And I knew it was that same, forbidden emotion. My eyes lay only on her face, and slowly moved to her rose colored lips…

The rebellious thoughts seized me once again. Jedi weren't allowed to love, yet I didn't care. I wanted to love, not caring about the Code. Something so beautiful should not be forbidden. I didn't care about the Jedi or their rules. I cared about one thing in that moment.

Padmé.

Padmé didn't move away, she let me get closer, so close, that we could touch noses. This was it; we were beyond the point of no return. I closed my eyes, and felt hers fluttering shut.

I heard her gasp silently as our lips finally met.

The whole world melted away. All thoughts of the Jedi and how unfair their rules are left me. It was just Padmé and I, finally together as we should have been. I felt her kissing back, and a fiery passion lit within me; she loved me as I did her! It was almost too good to be true.

The wonderful feeling surged within me, and I wanted more. Without any thought at all, I pressed further—

When Padmé suddenly broke away, much to my surprise. "No!" she gasped, "I shouldn't have done that."

I was still trying to bring myself out of the haze from the kiss. Blinking, hoping it wasn't a dream, it registered on me that I had kissed her.

I kissed Padmé!

I loved her so much, but she, at least, was able to keep her head, most of the time. I, however, was lost in my love. Completely lost in all thoughts. My mind was never my own.

Remembering I was supposed to say something, I replied, "I'm sorry."

But that wasn't true. I wasn't sorry. I was happier than I had ever been in my life.

We both looked back out towards the lake, not speaking. Both trying so hard to resist.

Trying to resist the lure of the forbidden.

A/N: This is longer than I usually make them! It's only because it's a kiss scene…I can usually draw those out…

Anyway, I know it's unprofessional of me (but hey! How professional is fanfiction anyway?) but I would once again ask if you would please submit reviews. Thank you.