TITLE: A Past to OutdoDISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Andromeda series, I'm just borrowing.
NOTES: Thanks emoras and Benesound, glad to see at least there's some people still interested! This one's for you...

CHAPTER THREE The Session

"Those who try to see themselves through a stranger's eyes are enlightened. Those who cannot bear to look into the mirror are damned."

Princess Idriana Jesen-Thren

CY 298

Dylan scanned the bustling station for any sign of the woman he was looking for. The only information he had on the counsellor was her reputation for being the best, and the fact that she was human. There were a few Dylan secretly hoped were Dr. Ellis, but he kept that little fact to himself.

Rommie stood next to him. "From here I can see twenty-three people who could be the counsellor. This would have been a lot easier if you'd requested a description."

"What's the matter, Rommie, aren't you enjoying the sights?" Dylan mocked. The station was in quite a state.

Rommie rolled her eyes in response. "Maybe we should have brought Trance."

Four more 'Excuse me, are you Dr Ellis?'s later, they got it right.

"Ah, you must be Captain Hunt," the woman smiled. She was fairly tall, with long black hair and dark brown eyes. A small scar was visible just above her eyebrow.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you in person, Doctor," Dylan greeted. He and Rommie both shook her hand politely.

"I've heard so much about you and your ship, Captain," she said.

"Nothing but good things I hope," Dylan replied optimistically.

"Well I wouldn't exactly say that, but I think I'll reserve my judgements for now."

Dylan smiled in return. "Shall we get going?" It was best not to linger in places like this.

"Please," Ellis agreed, and they made their way back to Andromeda. "So tell me," she asked as they walked, "I thought I got the feeling you had someone in particular in mind when you requested my expertise."

Dylan and Rommie exchanged a glance. Ellis picked up on it. "That tends to be the case with any job I'm called to. And it's...hard not to hear the rumours," she admitted.

"Our chief engineer has had a rough time lately. I think you could really help him, we've read nothing but good things," Dylan told her.

The doctor smiled warmly. "I'll certainly do my best. And I hope my first session be with you Captain, I do have somewhat of a tradition."

Dylan stumbled. "Oh, no I think I'll pass, thank-you for the offer though."

"The best way to set an example to your crew is to set it yourself," Ellis said.

"She's got a point Dylan," Rommie added.

Dylan neglected to think about that part, and he knew she was right. "Alright," he agreed, while using his false smile to mask his reluctance, and silently remembering to be annoyed at Rommie later.

"This sucks!" Harper exclaimed. They were waiting in the docking bay for the new arrival. Tyr and Trance were there too, it was kind of a formality.

Beka watched him pace. "You never know, it might be good for you. Besides, Dylan was only trying to help."

"Of course he was, that's all Dylan ever does," Harper said back.

"You haven't even met her yet, she might be really nice," Trance tried.

"She's a shrink. There are no nice shrinks."

Trance didn't reply, and instead got lost in wondering why they were called 'shrinks'.

"Boy, you are trying my patience," Tyr snapped.

Harper jumped. Tyr had barely spoken to him in recent weeks, and when he did, it was usually to order him about or issue a warning of some kind. "As much as I enjoy hearing your incessant whining, I don't believe you have earned back the right to complain about your treatment. You should be grateful that you can still consider yourself a member of this crew when lesser men would have dumped you on the nearest sub-inhabitable planet," he finished sternly. In reality, Tyr found himself quite glad that the little professor had survived recent events and was still showing the signs of the same spirit he possessed back when things were loosely referred to as normal. But sometimes that little man really did need putting in his place, and Harper was well and truly put in his place. He immediately quietened.

At that moment the doors opened and Dylan and Rommie walked in with the counsellor. Ellis acquired her first impressions of the rest of the crew - though she knew first impressions were often completely off. The blonde human woman standing proudly must have been Beka Valentine. From the looks of her, stubbornness was her middle name. The Nietzschean; Tyr Anasazi. Ellis never expected for one moment that she would get a Nietzschean in a counselling session, but she loved a challenge. The golden alien, well of course that would be Trance Gemini. Ellis knew little if nothing about the mysterious woman, so speaking to her on a personal level would be interesting to say the least. And by process of elimination, the short, spiky-haired man wearing the grease-stained tee shirt must be the infamous Seamus Harper. Judging by the way he was shifting uncomfortably, she could tell he was the one Captain Hunt had in mind when he had called for a counsellor.

Dylan made the formal introductions, and everyone smiled falsely through them (except Tyr, who wore his usual grimace).

"How about I give you the tour and show you your quarters?" Dylan offered after they were done.

"I'd like that," Ellis replied. "And perhaps I can schedule a second session after yours?"

"Certainly," Dylan agreed, "Harper, would you be so kind as to join Dr Ellis at 1230 hours on deck 3?"

Harper knew it wasn't a request so he didn't bother replying.

"I'll look forward to it." Ellis smiled as she walked past.

Dylan gave the standard tour, though it did appear a lot longer than normal.

"Captain, you don't have to avoid sitting down and talking to me. That is what you brought me onboard for," Ellis said, after they spent ten minutes looking at a weapons locker.

Dylan hadn't realised what he was doing - okay, maybe he had. "I'm sorry. I think you've seen most of the ship, let's get this over wi- I mean, let's do this."

They reached Ellis's office, which was just one of the officer's quarters set with a rounded desk, chairs and the compulsory weird sofa-bench thing that every counsellor seemed to have. "This is nice," Ellis commented, after taking a brief look around. "I think I'll be comfortable here."

"I'm glad you like it. You know, if there's any problems I can get you anything you need, just ask, I'll get it right away," Dylan said, speaking as a faster pace than usual.

Ellis smiled. "Why don't you take a seat?"

Dylan didn't know why he had such a fear of just talking to someone. Actually, that was a lie, he knew exactly why. It was because he was Dylan Hunt, High Guard Captain, saver of galaxies, modest hero and all-around tough guy. Oh god, he sounded like Tyr.

"You can say things out loud, you know," Ellis said light-heartedly, after a few moments silence.

"Sorry," Dylan apologised. "I'm not really used to this."

"It's alright, not many of my clients are. The first few sessions can be a little awkward, but eventually it will seem perfectly natural to talk to me about anything."

Dylan sighed internally. The first few sessions? Of course, he should have expected this. He was so busy looking out for his crew, he forgot he was a part of it.

"So, tell me about the past few months."

"That would take a while."

"Then why don't you get started?"

The hours passed faster than Harper cared to imagine. One minute he was calibrating the internal sensors, the next Rommie was nagging him to get to deck three for his session. He desperately wanted to avoid it somehow, but nothing came up.

The corridors seemed to close in on him as he walked to his destination. He would have given anything for the alarms to go off, and a ship-wide announcement to shout 'BATTLE STATIONS!', but he soon lost hope when he arrived outside the door and still nothing had happened.

Come on, Harper, it's just a door. Go through the damn door.

But he didn't have to. Ellis came round the corner. "Ah, Mr Harper, sorry I'm a little late. Captain Hunt seems to like the sound of his own voice. But that's a topic for another day."

Harper cringed. The counsellor was telling jokes? Yeah, well I still don't like her.

"Shall we get started?"

Harper followed her silently into the room. The room seemed so small, like a cell. Not good thoughts to be having, Seamus.

"Sit wherever you like," Ellis said, and took her own seat. "Before we begin, I'd just like to inform you that I really don't like my sessions to be mandatory. I much rather prefer people to come to me of their own accord. I realise that you may not want to be here but since you have little choice, you might as well give me a chance to help you."

Harper was unintentionally hostile in his reply. "Well now that the pep talk's out the way, why don't we get this over with?"

"Fair enough," Ellis replied. "Tell me about yourself."

"Years of High Guard training and that's your opening line?" Harper mocked.

"You're only going to make this difficult by avoiding the subject."

"What subject! My life? It's a pretty big subject, and not one I enjoy detailing for strangers," Harper said back. He hadn't sat down yet, and was pacing the floor, clenching his hands together without realising.

"Sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger than a friend. Is it so hard just to talk about yourself?"

"I got a good twenty nine years of baggage, doc, where the hell do you expect me to start!" Harper snapped. He disagreed with her statement. He would have much rather talked to Rev than a woman he only met a couple of hours ago. But Rev wasn't around. A fact he pondered over every day.

The doctor remained annoyingly calm. "Anywhere you like," she replied to Harper's rhetorical question.

Harper was pissed. How was this shrink supposed to help him? She knew nothing about his life, and he'd be damned if he was going to live through the lowest points again, just so she could tell him it would all be okay, and so Dylan could feel better. "I'm not here by choice, you know," he snapped.

"I know. This isn't usually the way I like to work, but I have my orders and you have yours," Ellis said, trying to move past the fact that neither of them wanted to be in a forced session.

"Just don't expect me to like you, is all I'm saying."

"Seamus--"

"Call me Harper," he replied instantly.

"Harper," Ellis continued. "I'm not here to be liked, I'm here to listen."

"Try all you want, but there are some things I won't talk about, to you, or anyone. Things not even I want to remember."

"Everything and anything you say to me will not leave the confines of this room. You're completely safe here."

"I'm not safe anywhere," Harper mumbled.

Unfortunately it wasn't quiet enough. Ellis picked up on it. "You don't feel safe here?"

"No, I mean...yeah I guess," Harper stumbled.

"You don't sound too sure of yourself."

Harper shook his head knowingly. "Oh no, I'm not doing this. You can't lead me into one of your traps."

"Traps?"

"I know how this works, you get me to say something, then you pick it apart until it fits into your little diagnosis."

"I'm not trying to fit you into any category or diagnose you with a psychological condition. I am simply here to listen," Ellis repeated.

A high pitched beeping distracted Harper's reply. It was his watch alarm going off. "It's time for my check-up," Harper said, thanking whatever divine force that was listening for the opportunity to escape.

Ellis watched the engineer leave. Even by saying little, he had told her a lot.

As Harper made his way to med-deck, he had the feeling today was just the first in a long line of very bad days.

End of chapter three

Next chapter: Between Us