Disclaimer: This is based on Tamora Pierce's Immortals Series, though references to other things from Song of the Lioness, and Protector of the Small. New characters and plots are my doing.
Chapter 12 – Reconciliation:
Camp had grown significantly with the addition of the 7th riders. In the morning they would head north while Numair's party headed south. But one night in the same place made for a mostly jolly evening. Numair, however, could not find anything to smile about. While Buri, Onua, Cearl, Daine, Harailt, Lindhall and the riders gathered round the fire singing songs and telling ghost stories, Numair stuck close to the medical tents, checking on Alanna and Daniel and pouring through whatever books he had on hand. His heart ached.
The noise died down around midnight, and, except for the rider watch and Daine's usual addition of owl sentries, everyone was in their bedrolls. Numair couldn't sleep. He thought a dozen times about approaching Daine and begging her to forgive him. But he was sure she was asleep and he was also sure that waking her would not help the situation.
Finally he got up intending to take a walk. It was a chilly, but a clear night with what seemed like a billion stars glimmering in the blackest sky he could remember. He had put on a couple layers of clothing to keep warm and felt slightly stiff when he walked. He could see his breath. He walked around the edge of the tents, thinking he should check on Alanna and Daniel again when he ran into Daine.
The stood for a moment, eyes locked, shivering in the night air, unable to say anything. Finally Daine spoke, "Cloud just told me if we don't start talking she's going to kick us both."
Numair chuckled nervously. "That horse is far too wise." He searched Daine's face for signs of receptivity. "Do you want to talk to me?"
"I s'pose I better, elsewise I'm never going to sleep."
Now he did laugh. "Same here." He paused and began cautiously, "I am sorry, you know. I know I've been foolish and I admitted that before. I thought I was doing better by you but I guess – I guess not."
"No. You have. I – I don't know why I got so angry. I'm really sorry I hit you." She was staring at the ground.
Numair started to reach out to lift her chin and thought better of it. Don't touch unless you're invited, he reminded himself. He pulled his hands behind his back and locked his fingers together. "You probably shouldn't let anger eat at you until you explode. People will suggest you're acting like me."
She looked up at him with a slight smile. "We can't have that, now can we?"
He shook his head. "It was very wrong of me to have Alanna keep that from you. You both probably should knock me around for that."
She looked at him with pain in her eyes. "When I found out that she had been in my mind without my knowledge I felt…" She seemed to be struggling for a word.
"Violated?" Numair suggested.
She nodded, eyes imploring his understanding.
"I'm so sorry. I never thought. All that time I was worried about Ozorne raping you and I…"
"What?" She looked shocked.
"Come sit by the fire, I'll try to explain myself, not that there's any excuse. You do look cold though."
She nodded and the two of them walked to the fire and sat. Numair tried to keep enough distance that they wouldn't be touching. He stared at the fire for a few minutes until Daine finally brushed his cheek with her hand. "Where are you? Lost in your head again?" she asked.
"I'm…" he closed his eyes, "I'm trying to gather courage."
"Is it that hard to tell me?"
"It's that hard to relive."
"Oh." Daine stood up and moved next to Numair. She sat down against him this time, so close that he felt his heart began to pound. But he wasn't going to be foolish enough to try to touch her more than she initiated. "Just start talking, that's the best way," she said.
"All right." He took a deep breath. "In Carthak, you knew I talked to the Badger. You knew he told me that you couldn't taste human blood. But you didn't know how he told me." He swallowed hard. "The Graveyard Hag didn't want his interference, so instead of just materializing and saying what he needed to say, he sent me cryptic messages in three dreams. The first was – Oh, Goddess I don't think I can do this." He felt her small hand slip into his large one. "Magelet…."
"Did you dream Ozorne raped me?"
Numair swallowed hard and nodded. He felt a tear escape and tried to hide his face, but instead Daine wiped the tear with her thumb. She was much too close and he thought he could just pull her into his arms and kiss her. Shocked at himself he stood, nearly knocking her over. How could I possibly remember that and then think about kissing her? There's definitely something wrong with me.
Daine tilted her head to look up at him. "Why didn't I fight back? I would, you know?"
"In the first dream," he said, crouching, "You didn't because you had one of those control collars we saw on the hurroks in Dunlath. The badger wanted me to see that I had left you vulnerable. In my dream you asked for help and I just stood there. In the second dream you did fight back, but when you did, you lost your mind because you tasted his blood."
"Wow," she said distantly and then bit her bottom lip.
"The first dream happened the morning that I went to the aviary. I was so scared I went to talk to you to prove to myself you were all right. But you weren't in your room. I – I became convinced he had you and I – I couldn't be like I was in that dream. I went to help you and in the process put you in more danger than you were already in. It was as if I painted a target on you. I – I was out of my mind most of the day. I asked Alanna to solidify your barrier then. I intended to put myself in between you and Ozorne and I thought that if he tried to take you I would trade myself for you. But then I realized that if he killed me, you would loose the barrier I made for you and I didn't want you to know how frightened I was. Alanna only agreed not to tell you because I begged her. She even said that I wasn't giving you enough credit. She was right, of course. But I was so worried about you that all I could see was that I needed to help. I took the ruby from my ring that same day intending to give it to you. But when it came time to tell you I lost my nerve, so I just added it to your chain." He realized most of that was probably unintelligible, but at least it was out in the open.
Daine was looking at him sympathetically. He tried to look away. "You died in the middle of the third dream and I woke knowing you were gone."
"Do you mean you dreamed I died?"
"No, Magelet, you died. The Badger brought you back. That was when you touched the skeletons in the hall of bones." Numair realized he was on his feet again and pacing. He wasn't sure when that had happened.
Her eyes grew wide. "I never realized that you knew about that."
"The badger felt you die while he was sending his message, so I did too. I grieved you. I summoned the badger and begged for your life. I didn't know he had already brought you back. I meant to tell you all of these things but it was just so painful, and so, like a fool, I kept them to myself."
Daine stood in the path of his pacing and flung her arms around him. They stood there in a warm embrace for the longest time. Again, he felt the overwhelming urge to press his lips to hers and pulled away.
"All this time I thought you thought I was weak," Daine said.
"I know you're not weak. I bought you a weapon for a midwinter gift this year. Would I get you a weapon if I thought you couldn't use it?"
"You did?"
"Yes, but you weren't supposed to know about it yet, silly."
He sat back down by the fire and Daine snuggled against him. "Why did you rush to me after you blew everything up this morning?"
"Because I poked my head over the hill in time to see the Giant throw you into a spidren nest. Are you bruised badly?"
She blushed slightly. "My backside looks like something from Volney Raine's palette." They both chuckled slightly.
"Have I been so caught up in my own head that I forgot to tell you how much I rely upon you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Magelet, you aren't just my student. We make an amazing team and I need you. We don't think the same way, you know. That's a good thing. You see things that I miss. While I'm trying to sort through this mess with Alanna, Raoul, and Daniel, I could really use your input. I cannot tell you how often when I'm in a tight spot, I wish you were beside me. And I'm not wishing that so I can keep an eye on you. I wouldn't have been wounded in the Copper Isles if you had been there. Between your skill with a bow and your magic, we could have slipped right out without the messy battle. And though it was amazing to meet the Goddess, dying was really uncomfortable." She laughed loudly, a musical sound that charmed his very soul.
"Numair, let's never fight again."
"Good idea. Your anger is not good for my vanity." He rubbed his cheek where she had slapped him earlier and grinned rakishly.
"Sorry about that," she said looking at the ground. She sighed and then said, "Tell me what you've figured out so far about this mystery magic that has Alanna."
The two snuggled together by the fire while he went over everything.
"If magic has to have an actual point of focus, doesn't there need to be some mark on Alanna?" Daine asked.
"Yes," Numair answered. "But it could be small. If they used griffin blood, it makes sense that they would have to use her blood too, but I don't know how they got it or when."
"Well, what if she had a wound she couldn't explain?"
"Does she?" he asked, sitting up.
"I think she probably healed it. But she did. There was a small wound on her shoulder – left I think. It looked like a knife wound. She found it the morning after the spidren fight."
"How big?"
"Maybe an inch long. You might have to ask her how deep."
"Magelet, I could kiss you!" It popped out of his mouth before he thought, leaving them both to blush. "I want to go look for a similar wound on Daniel to be certain. If we find one, we may want to wake Jon." He stood and started to walk back to Daniel's tent. Then he turned around and hugged Daine again, picking her up off the ground as he did so. "Thank you for forgiving me," he said. He released her and left for Daniel's tent.