Title: How the flames of hell dance
By: InsaneOtakuNekoSamantha
Dear The Sqaubbit,
Blade went home…though I must tell you he will be popping up in the story eventually, so no, it's not just a one time appearance…anyway…I will…thanks for reading and reviewing!
-Samantha
Dear Mason the crazy,
I know…Jageromaru scares me…and yes he does hit on almost any girl he see's…you'll find out later in the story…anyway…and yes…trust me…I can at least tell you this…Hiei will be kicking Jageromaru's ass…
Yours sincerely,
Samantha
Dear NewPortWriter,
Oh thanks, so nice. Thanks for wanting to drag me into a house of mirrors just to see me get lost…wait…depends…would you go and find me? Alright Alright…I don't own YOU….okay? I'll put that in the disclaimer……don't worry…be happy…Yes I know you wanna come home…I want you home…save meh from meh grandmother AND the munchkin! Anyway…thanks for reviewing…
Peace mah home skillet bizkit with a side of gravy and home fries,
Samson
Disclaimer- Okay…I don't own Yu Yu hakusho, OR Alicia…my friend Alicia owns Alicia…happy Alicia! …Anyway…yes…I only own Blade, Jageromaru and Yami…what will happen on your court day…or what to do…and some ways to get you landed in the funny farm.
K- Kangaroos will come from no where…and attack everyone…giving them black eyes…and jumping on them…
U- Uncle Flappy Joe the clown will come bearing pancakes as a peace offering for you…if the people do not accept the away because Uncle Flappy will get very pissed…and go on a killing spree…and eat everyone…
W- Walk up to the judge…and ask if he will marry you to your hand before you are sentenced to jail or a fine…this will make him think you are insane…hopefully…and then you can be proven clinically insane and then live in a white padded room with all the sugar free jello you could want…
A- Ask the judge to go to the bathroom…then never come back…
B- Bear gifts such as fruit baskets and teddy bears…give them to everyone in the court in hope they will take your side on this…if this doesn't work…and they give the baskets back to you…now you have something to throw at the judge….fruit…
A- Ask if you could go to the bathroom…then while in the bathroom beat the hell out of yourself like Jim Carey in Liar Liar…then walk back into the courtroom claiming a giant flying pink gorilla attacked you…yet again…this will get you landed in the white padded room with the sugar free jello.
R- Run around in the courtroom naked claiming flying cheese stole your pants and clothes…another way to get yourself landed with the sugar free jello…
A- Allucard! Call for Allucard…it's worth a try…I mean…he always appears for Lady Hellsing…it might work for you…just come to court dressed up like her…(Yes the one from Hellsing...yes Alicia sexy man...)
Chapter 18
"Why is the vain munchkin following us?" Alicia asked. She looked at Yami. "Do you have that new car smell? …Guys like that new car smell…" Alicia spoke. "LET MEH SNIFF YOU!" Alicia said lunging at Yami. Yami blinked as Alicia sniffed her. "Nope. You smell like Axe…wait…why…and dude…isn't axe supposed to make chicks follow you?" Alicia asked. "I like the smell of it…" Yami grumbled. "…So you wear dudes deodorant…" Alicia said. "Yes! Happy! Now leave me alone!" Yami snapped. Alicia paused and turned to Hiei. "OH MY GOD HIEI! YOU'RE A CHICK AREN'T YOU!" she yelled. "That is why you are following Yami! You are attracted to the axe smell because you are a chick…" Alicia said. Hiei glared. "No. I am not a woman." He said, and then he "Hn-ed". Alicia turned her attention back to Yami. "What crawled up your butt and died? …A pineapple?" she asked. "No. I'm not Hitler in hell." Yami spoke. (Sorry…I'm watching Little Nicky…muahahaha…) Hiei walked over to them. "You. Vain munchkin thing… Go. Shoo. The women are talking-eth." Alicia said. Hiei "Hn-ed" and ignored her. He looked at Yami. Yami seemed to be a bit troubled, but he saw she quickly pushed it aside. "Hi Hiei." She said making a small smile. He made a small smile as well. "Awww the love birdies!" Alicia said. Yami turned really red and folded her arms in front of her chest and looked down, staring at the ground as they approached her apartment.
Yami walked up the stairs and unlocked the door. She walked inside; Hiei and Alicia following. "Now listen munchkin. You are not to touch anything that is mine…looks like mine…smells like mine…tastes like mine…or sounds like mine…" Alicia spoke walking past Hiei. Alicia sat down on the couch sloppily; Hiei sat down in a chair. "Got any incense around here?" Alicia asked. Yami nodded as she took the sheet off of the painting, she picked the painting up and walked into a third room next to the guest room and put the painting in there, the door was painted black and had a "Caution. Stay the fuck out." Sign on it. "What's with the room?" Alicia asked as Yami reentered the room. "Oh…just a room filled with paintings, photographs…and drawings…" Yami said. "Ah…" Alicia said. Yami had incense stick in her hand, which she put on a dragon incense holder that was near the lamp on the table. There were a few other incense sticks near it, and she lit it. The smell of sandalwood filled the room. Hiei took his bandana off, revealing his third eye. "…Okay that's creepy…munchkin with a third eye…that's scary…" Alicia said. She grabbed an incense stick when he wasn't looking and slowly near it toward his third eye.
She poked him in the third eye with the incense stick, which closed. "FUCK! OW THAT FUCKING HURT!" Hiei yelled holding his third eye. "Really?" Alicia asked. "YES!" Hiei yelled. "…Can I do it again?" Alicia asked. "FUCK NO!" Hiei yelled. "Eh…Alicia…don't poke him with the incense stick again…please…" Yami said from the chair. She was sitting the wrong way on it. Her legs were in the air, hanging off the back/top of the chair, and her head hung upside down on the seat part. "But it's fun…" Alicia said. "Please." Yami said. Alicia sighed. "Fine…I won't…for now." she said, a devilish grin spread across her face. "Oh hell no! You ever do that to me again and I'll KILL you!" Hiei yelled. "I would like to see you try!" Alicia said. "Eh…guys…calm…down…not…now…please…" Yami said from her position on the chair, she flipped the channel. Barney turned on. "Must…watch…Barney…" Alicia said. Yami blinked. "You're kidding right?" she asked. "…Yes." Alicia spoke. Yami flipped the channel. "Barney will turn on us all one day…I know it…watch…he'll bust into the white house packin it with all these damn weapons and then end up killing the president of the US…" Alicia said. "In which case would be a good thing…" She continued. "Since Bush doesn't know his ass from his elbow." Yami added for her. "Exactly." Alicia spoke. "But we really don't have to worry about Bush here…unless somehow he takes over the world and rules Japan…or nukes us…" Alicia spoke. "Yes…" Yami said. Hiei blinked and watched TV, still holding his third eye. The TV was on Scream. Alicia stood up. "…If you need me I shall be in the shower…and you…" Alicia spoke pointing at Hiei. "Put that bandana back over that third eye of yours…I don't want you using your heebee jeebee powers to look at me in the shower…. and I don't want you ANYWHERE near the bathroom…got it?" Alicia spoke. "Like I would ever want to look at you naked…" Hiei grumbled.
"Oh so now I'm not sexy enough!" Alicia exclaimed. "Oh I get it…I get it…" Alicia said walking off to the bathroom. Hiei did this weird face that was kinda like "Yeah…right…." "You'll get used to her eventually…" Yami said watching the TV, as if reading his mind. Hiei watched the television as well.
Keiko's house.
"Okay…I got it…we'll make it longer with extensions…" Botan said looking at Kurama's hair. "Actually…I want to cut it short…because Alicia keeps calling me girly man…and I don't think she'll ever accept me the way I am." Kurama spoke sadly. "Then you shouldn't go for her…" Yukina said. "But I love her…" Kurama said in this high-pitched feminine voice. "Okay…yeah…Alicia is starting to rub off on him…" Botan said. "Just cut it short…then we can style his clothing and such…" Keiko said. Botan sighed. "Alright…scissors." Botan said holding out her hand. Keiko put scissors in her hair, and Botan began to snip away at Kurama's hair.
Yami's house
Alicia walked out of the bathroom in a pair of jeans and a white shirt. "You're not wearing that to go to a club are you?" Yami asked. "No…it's just for now." Hiei was asleep on the couch. "…BURN ANTI-CHRIST!" Alicia shouted throwing water onto him. Hiei jumped up. "That's IT!" he shouted. "Dude…your hair…it did not go…down…dude….your hair defies the laws of gravity…" Alicia spoke. "That or you just use A LOT of aqua net when you wake up so early in the morning." Alicia said. "I do not! It's naturally like that okay!" Hiei snapped. "I'm sure…you know with all the hair spray you probably use you're probably depleting the ozone layer…" Alicia said circling the couch. Hiei growled. "Yes…A lot of gel…and a lot of hair spray…" Alicia spoke. "I do not use hair spray!" He snapped. "Then why did I find this in your bathroom?" she asked holding up a can of aqua net hair spray. "Okay number 1…. that's probably from her bathroom…" Hiei said pointing at Yami who was watching the scene. "And two…I don't have a residence…therefore I do not have a bathroom…" he spoke. "…So!" Alicia said. "Then why is there a comb and a minni-hair spray can in your pocket? Hm?" Alicia asked. "There is no comb and minni hair spray can in my pocket…" Hiei spoke as he rolled his eyes. "Tell that to the judge." Alicia said pulling a comb and a small bottle of hair spray from his pocket. "Wha? How did that get in there?" Hiei wondered. "She magically places things in other people's care so that what she says can be true supposedly…" Yami said answering his question. Alicia made a whiney noise. "Yami! You're supposed to help me…not tell my secrets…" Alicia said. Yami shrugged. Alicia sighed and sat down, giving up with the hair and hairspray question.
Yami stood up and walked over to the dining room table, she picked up her sketchbook and sat back down, and started to draw. "Hey…Yami?" Alicia said from the chair across from her. "Yeah?" Yami asked, not looking up from the sketchbook. Hiei was watching the television, or at least, trying to make it seem like that. He was actually listening to their conversation. "You remember your foster family?" Alicia asked. "Yeah…why?" Yami asked. "You remember that morning when they found pudding in their pillows the night I slept over and they blamed it on you…?" Alicia asked. Hiei blinked. "Yeah…why? I remember…I got grounded for a month because of it…" Yami said. "Well I did it…" Alicia said. "WHAT! YOU GOT ME GROUNDED FOR A MONTH!" Yami exclaimed. "I didn't mean to honestly! I wanted to make their pillows squishier and tastier so they could have a good nights sleep…yes…and then I put the pillows there…but they didn't seem to like the idea…hey I thought it was a good idea!" Alicia said, her eyes shifted back and forth in a way saying, "I didn't do it…even though I did…and you got blamed for it…please don't kill me!" In truth she had deliberately done that, and it wasn't to give her foster parents a "good night's sleep." You see, Yami's foster family never really liked Alicia, and so they would usually try to find any excuse to kick her out of the house or keep her away from Yami. So she wanted revenge, especially because of the fact Yami's foster parents Kino and Kyjimbo…had called the cops on her and had blamed something their son did on her. Which happened to be graffiti the back of a grocery store. Alicia was wild, but not that wild. Her parents almost killed her for it.
"You remember that time your mother got pissed because there was jello in the pool and you got blamed for that to…?" Alicia asked. "Don't tell me…you did that too…" Yami said. "It was an accident! Honestly! I just happened to be standing near the pool…with an open Jello packet…I thought I heard you calling me from the backyard…when I was making some jello…and I fell in…" Alicia said. "…ONE packet…? I wasn't aware that only one packet could turn an ENTIRE 8ft deep pool into solid jello." Yami said. "Okay…so it happened to be a huge amount of jello packets…but honestly it was an accident!" Alicia said with this innocent look. Yami rolled her eyes. Hiei snickered. "What are you laughing at you vain little munchkin with gravity defying hair?" Alicia asked. Yami looked at the clock. "I think I'm gonna go get dressed…" Yami said. "Me too." Alicia added. Hiei sat on the couch and watched TV as Yami and Alicia got up and walked into their own rooms to change.
Keiko's house.
"Is the transformation completed?" Keiko asked peeking her head into the room. "Yes." Botan said. "Yes it is…" She continued. She stepped back to admire her creation. "Okay…now all we need to do is get us dressed." Botan said leaving the room so she could go get dressed.
Yami's house
Yami walked out of her room in a long sleeved black shirt and a long black skirt. Alicia walked out in a dark blue jean skirt that was knee length and a black tank top that said "Sarcasm. Only one of the services I offer." She looked at Yami. "You asked if I was gonna go out in jeans and a shirt…it's my turn…you're ACTUALLY going to go out in that?" she asked. "Yes…" Yami spoke. "No. You're not. Come Yami…we fly and change your gay outfit that looks like you're going to a funeral…" Alicia said dragging her into Yami's bedroom. Shortly after, Alicia dragged Yami back out who was now in a short black skirt, knee length boots and a tank top that said "If u c4n r37d th1s y4u7'e n3t d4u7k e3o34h." (Let's see…can you read it?) She also had long black gloves that went from her knuckles to her elbows. Alicia paused and looked at Yami. Yami's legs were almost paper white, as were her arms and chest. "Oh my god Yami…you're white!" Alicia exclaimed. "No I'm black." Yami said rolling her eyes. (Hahahahahaha this is brought you by Chris in my school who looked at me when I was showing my arms with my buddy Alicia…and said the same thing…we said the same thing too…) "So what do we do n-" Alicia was about to finish her sentence when the doorbell rang. Yami looked at the clock. It was 11pm. "Well…that's probably them." Yami said. "Yay! Partay!" Alicia shouted going to answer the door, she approached it and opened it.
End chapter 18.
Hope you enjoyed it…sorry didn't update yesterday…was dead asleep most of the day.