*Dude, you guys don't even know…I was soooo frustrated the day I wrote the last chappie…had lots of stuff going on besides the whole computer thing…but then I went to the beach for the weekend with my best chicks, read all of ur super terrific reviews (except for that one person but…eh…I doubt they're reading this) and feel 100% better, thanks a lot!

Rogue solus- he he he, yep ur totally psyco!! Mwahaha hope u still liked it even though you knew what was gonna happen! Since you're alls psychic and everything…am I going to marry Orlando Bloom?! Plz say yes!!

LOTRwolf- dude! Fellow Californian, wassup! Yes…for the record…computers suck major! Yay, my house-elf idea went over okay!! Im sooo heppy!

Pirate-chicha- Mwahaha, yesss…ron putting his foot in his mouth is always enjoyable! He he he, definitely more to come…look, theres some down there! Read it!

Saki- Yes, I feel sorry for me too, but, as the song says, 'que sera sera' (if that's how you spell it). Actually, I went through a couple of ideas for the whole house-elf explanation, including a side-species one and another wherein elves were left behind and taken captive by humans, but I think the orc thing works pretty well. ::sigh:: sadly, Legolas was not joking…which was a very hard decision to make ::sob:: leggy come back!!

Karone Evertree- Why thank you! I try to be creative, ya know how it is J don't we all dream of lego? And such sweet dreams they are…mwahaha!

Little Witch- Mwahaha, yes, very twisted indeed! And Lego is their prince after all! Thankx for reviewing!

Siora- Yay! Thankx so much! You really think I have them in character? Thatz so nice of you! Cuz this one mean person just flamed me saying that I had traded in the trio for blatant fan girl-ism so I was kinda like, oh no! but thankx for reassuring me! U rock!

HalandLeg4ever- Doesn't it suck when we have to recognize differences between reality and fiction? I hate that! Stupid reality. Mwahaha, u think it could be true? Wow, kewl! Ahh, so you read that review, aye? Yeah, that sucks but I'm trying to ignore it like u recommend! Itz actually pretty easy when I have tons of great reviews from ppl like u! rock on!

Willow26- ::sigh:: I know how u feel! But lego convinced me it was best for the story and that he would dump the chick as soon as the story is over! Mwahaha, take that gilithiel!

Tinnuial- He he he…Ron…he's great…ingenious? Wowza, tanks mucho! Windows…a plague upon your house vile beast! Ahem…thanks for the advice and the hug…very sweet, very appreciated, u rock!

Odd-I-See- He he he, it seems everyone can commiserate with computer problems! ::shakes fist at technology:: I'm glad you got that it was well-thought out cuz it was! I actually asked myself, "wouldn't the elves just kill them?" then I both realized that, as you pointed out, they don't like to kill stuff, and being slaves forever was probably worse for them. So I'm glad u liked! Also glad u liked my elven magic thingy. I was kinda disappointed cuz that part was better in the first draft (which was lost ::sob:: ) and I couldn't remember everything I wrote, but if u liked it, musta been okay! Ron, Ron, Ron….when will he ever learn?

Hypy- Ahhh, too many compliments! Gaah, ur awesome!

*I think you will all be absolutely delighted to know that Lego finally meets up with Umbridge in this chappie and the results are very interesting!

Chapter 7

MINISTRY SEEKS EDUCATIONAL REFORM

DOLORES UMBRIDGE APPOINTED FIRST-EVER "HIGH INQUISITOR

Since the revelation that he was, in fact, a wizard, Harry Potter had always recognized that words had their own importance. For one, they were necessary for spell-making, and his title as The Boy Who Lived aided all the wizarding world in the recognition of his person. Yet only recently, walking through the halls of Hogwarts school with his two best friends Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley, was Harry Potter beginning to realize just how very large an impact so few words might have on a person's life and way of life. With the positioning of dear Professor Umbridge as the Hogwarts High Inquisitor, Harry could feel all that was his beloved home and school, like so many grains of sand, quickly slipping out of his reach.

"Even you would have felt sorry for Professor Trelawny today, Hermione," claimed Ron as the trio made their way to the Gryffindor tower. "Umbridge really gave it to her. I've never seen Trelawny so brusque with someone."

"Well I suppose that's what our school is to become," said Hermione angrily, "Teachers fearing for their jobs and…oh!…"wringing her hands viciously, a snarl on her lips, "the Ministry has absolutely no right!"

"Oy Potter!" interrupted the detestable Draco Malfoy from the top of the stairway leading down to the main entrance. "You may want to see this."

Rolling his eyes, Harry turned to the Slytherin and said pointedly, "I'm not interested in anything you and your brutes might find entertaining."

A malicious glint in the boy's eye, Draco ignored the insult and, grinning knowingly at the ever-present Crabbe and Goyle, said, "And I thought you might want to say goodbye before Professor Umbridge kicks out your oh-so superior elf friends. I'd say it's about time she did something about those…beasts."

Without a word, the threesome ran to the stairway and, looking down into the main entrance, were appalled to find that the toad-like woman had indeed convened Hogwart's four resident elves in what could indeed pass as a dismissal. From their current point of view, the three could only see the long, elegantly curved backs of the elves and standing before those creatures, was the stout Umbridge with a surprisingly angry look on her wide, disturbing face.

Normally, when the woman took it upon herself to berate, embarrass or otherwise hurt a person she adorned her visage with disturbingly pleased features. Yet now the newly placed Defense instructor stood pointing with one hand toward the large wooden doors leading to the castle's exit, her brows furrowed tightly, lips curled in a sneer of disgust, her already beady eyes narrow and dark with hatred.

As the trio ran down the steps, chased by the ghost of Malfoy's vengeful snicker, the exchange of words between the elves and the High Inquisitor began to penetrate their pitiful range of human hearing.

"Am I not speaking simply enough for your sub-human intellect to understand?" growled the horrible woman. "You…must…leave!"

While Umbridge may have hoped her furious tirade would frighten the elves into submission, she could not have possibly been more wrong. Looking at the elves for the first time, Harry, Ron and Hermione were each surprised to see that, unlike his countenance while disputing with Snape, during which his features were stony and intimidating, Legolas and his comrades appeared to be enjoying the happenings of the day.

In fact, when the elf the trio did not recognize murmured a stream of gibberish they could only assume to be their elvish language, the other three laughed out right.

Elvish laughter, like their spell-binding speech, was often considered like to harmonious strains of music, entirely pleasing to the ear as well as the soul. Umbridge, however, was not similarly touched.

Reddening so darkly and quickly that the process actually looked painful, several onlookers would later claim they had actually seen smoke rising from the witch's ears and nostrils. "What," she chocked out, "is remotely funny about this situation?"

"One's interpretation of what is or is not "funny", as you so simply phrase the emotion," said Legolas in the most annoyingly superior voice he could muster, "is truly a matter of opinon. You see, my dear Professor, my companion Elendor was simply proclaiming his amazement at your immense idiocy in addition to the fact that though elves have indeed proven their worth time and again, humanity stands firm in their declaration of superiority." Cocking his head to the side and placing a thoughtful look on his face, Legolas moved closer to the woman and asked, "Now be truthful, sweet woman. Did you find Elendor's witty observation to be as entertaining as I?"

The burgundy shade pooled from her face as quickly as it had risen, leaving her deathly pale and gaping for air as would a fish out of water. As Umbridge did nothing but stand in the same spot, eyes round with astonishment that she had allowed herself to be so soundly insulted by one she considered beneath herself, Legolas crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head slowly. "Tsk, tsk. I do not believe you were at all amused by Elendor's remark." Looking over his shoulder at the small group of elves behind him, Legolas said in a mock apologetic tone, "So sorry, old friend, but this example of kindness embodied does not find you at all humorous. Shall you recover?"

Laughing jovially, the elf Elendor replied, "Only time shall tell, my prince. Perhaps a millennia or two shall prove a fine remedy for heartbreak."

Blinking madly, as if realizing for the first time that this little meeting was not going the way she had planned, Umbridge balled her stubby hands and stomped her foot heavily. "NO! No no no! You must obey me! I am the High Inquisitor, placed by the Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge himself! When I say that you are no longer welcome on the school grounds, you must leave at ONCE!" screamed the old hag, sweat dripping in her face as she shook uncontrollably.

"Temper, temper, young lady," scolded the elf prince, wagging his finger at the woman, "Is that any way to speak to your elder?"

"Need I repeat myself?" hissed Umbridge between clenched teeth.

"Nay, there is no need for such theatrics to be repeated," said Legolas nonchalantly, "Yet I did find one major flaw in your logic."

"And what exactly is that?" sneered the witch.

"Neither I or my elven comrades are in any way under the authority of your ministry or," here Legolas paused to laugh, apparently at the ridiculousness of the mere idea, " yourself. You, madam, have absolutely no hold over me whatsoever and you, dear sweet lady, are even more foolish than you appear if, in that simple miniscule brain I can only assume exists somewhere in that orb you pass as a head, you continue to entertain thoughts that the truth is contrary to what I have said. We shall stay as long as we wish and will leave not a moment sooner." Leaning in to speak into Umbridge's ear, Legolas said, "Am I not speaking simply enough for your simple human intellect to comprehend?"

Straightening his long, lean body, Legolas said, "Well then, I suppose I shall be graced with your presence in the main hall for dinner? Do wear that hat I love so much. You know of which hat I speak, certainly, the extremely large one that covers the majority of your face from view. Yes, that makes dining all the more pleasant. Fare well, or not."

With that last jab, the prince led his subjects gracefully from the room. Umbridge stared after the four creatures with a lost and disbelieving look on her face. Spying the trio standing close by, a wild look came into her eyes and she stalked off to her office yelling towards the friends, "50 points from Gryffindor!"

"Well what did we do?" asked Hermione in a huffy voice.

"Who cares?" asked Harry gleefully, while Ron fell to his knees, suffering from a severe case of wanton laughter. "I would have given 500 points to be able to see Umbridge insulted and degraded like that."

A grin slowly overtaking her frown, Hermione joined her two friends in a bout of raucous laughter, the expressions of their joy echoing through the rafters of the immense entrance.

"Ha ha ha ha… can't…ha ha ha…breathe! Ha ha ha ha ha!"

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*So, whatta ya think? Yes, no, maybe so, 99, 1000? Um, yeah…hope you liked plz plz plz review! I luv to hear what u guys think about my fic, ur all so kewl! And to those who read and don't review, I wanna know what you think too! So just do it!

Funny Moment: Just thought I'd share what I like to call a moment with my cousin Jessica. See, she was watching FOTR with my brother and me for the first time. Well, when it comes to the scene in Moria, ya know, the one where Frodo gets speared with the…uh…spear…and when he doesn't die, my cuz is like, "Wait! That can't happen! He should've died!" and I'm like, "No, weren't you listening, he was wearing a coat of mithril." Then she's all, "Huh?" And I'm like, "It's this really super strong stuff, like a bullet proof vest." and then, oh my goodness gracious me, she's like, "Well if that stuff is so strong, why the heck don't fire fighters and policemen use it?!" …..good lord, she was totally serious…my poor poor cousin…