I don't own Teen Titans. Sob. Cry. Weep.
Every year, I try to think of what I'm thankful for. And, in the realms of fanfiction, I am thankful for all you readers. Every single one of them. From the insane ones… to the evil ones… to the flaming ones…
Anyway, I thought I'd give you guys something for the holidays. Merry Christmas!
……………………………….
: Raven got run over by a reindeer! Walking to T Tower, Christmas Eve:
Raven: (is walking)
Reindeer: (runs her over)
Raven: Oof-!
Reindeer: hehehehe! Sucker!
: You can say there's no such thing as Santa:
Robin: There's no such thing as Santa…
Star: But, Robin! If you celebrate the "Crismiss" festivities without the "Crismiss" spirit, bad karma will knock you down, steal your wallet, enslave your women, and kill you!
Robin: Yeah, right!
Karma: (knocks him down)
Robin: Ow…
: But as for me and Slade, we believe:
Slade: I do not believe in Santa!
Terra: Yes you do…
Slade: I do?
Terra: Yup!
Slade: …oh…
: She's been drinking too much herbal tea:
Raven: (hic) Beast Boy! (hic) You look so adorably (hic) cute in red! (hic)
BB: Uh, Raven?
Raven: (hic) …gugz… (hic) … (passes out)
: And we begged her not to go:
Star: Please Raven! Don't go! "Crismiss" is a time of love and peace and joy and-!
Raven: (already left)
Star: …darn…
: But she forgot her meditation! As she staggered out the door into the snow:
Raven: (holds head) Ugh… I hate hangovers… (stagger) (stagger)
: When we found her the next morning! At the scene of the attack:
BB: YEAH! SNOWBOARDING! WHOO!
Robin&Cye: YEAH! WHOO-HOO!
Boys: (run out the door right over Raven)
Raven: …ow…
BB: You hear something?
Robin: Probably just the wind, let's go before-!
Star: THERE HE IS! SICK 'EM, KARMA!
Karma: Bark! Bark!
Boys: AAAAH! (runs)
Star: That will certainly teach you the "Crissmiss" love, and peace, and joy, and-!
: There were hoof prints on her forehead! While St. Nick's in a dimension very black:
Santa: …ho, ho, ho? (is floating through space and time)
: Raven got run over by a reindeer! Walking to T-Tower Christmas Eve:
Raven: (gets run over)
Reindeer: Haha!
Raven: (sits back up; has 4 red, evil eyes) Rawrrrr!
Reindeer: …uh, oh?
: You can say there's no such thing as Santa:
Star: Muahaha! Rip 'em apart, Karma!
Cye: Boys and girls. I'd best start believin' if I were you.
: But as for me and Slade, we believe:
Slade: I don't want to believe in Santa!
Terra: Then, you're dead meat, Slade.
Slade: Why?
Star: A-ha! An unbeliever!
Slade: Ahhhh! (runs from Karma)
Star: Convert all ye un-"Chrismiss" spirited!
: Now we're all so proud of Beast Boy! He's been taking this so well!"
BB: No! My Raven!
Cye: Yo, BB. She never was "yours."
BB: Huh? Oh yeah! In that case!
: See him making out with Terra:
All: BEASTBOY!
Terra: (in closet with BB) Tee-hee!
BB: Gulp!
Raven: (somewhere under a reindeer's hooves) …I'll get you for this…
: Hula-Hoopin', biking, and using Robin's gell:
Robin: Gimme that!
BB: The New and Improved BeastBoy! Now with more anime-ish hair than ever!
Robin: What?
BB: Ka-Me-Ha-Me-HA! (blows Robin up)
: It's not Christmas without Raven:
Cye: Here! A paper machete, full scale Raven!
BB: (sob) NOTHING LIKE THE ORIGINAL!
Star: (talks through paper machete Raven) Grr… Beast Boy cease the talking you repulsive flobworm.
BB: (sob) Wah...
Cye: It ain't Christmas without Raven…
: All the family's dressed in black :
Everyone: (dressed in bright green)
Cye: BEAST BOY!
BB: Sorry… I was trying to drown my sorrows by taking a ride in the washing machine…
: And we couldn't help but wonder, should we open up her gifts or send them back:
Cye: tch… there probably just spell books and stuff… (seeing if anything is worth selling on E-Bay)
Star: AH! (takes presents) No dark energies in this merry holiday! (proceeds to burn presents)
: Raven got run over by a reindeer! Walking to T-Tower Christmas Eve:
Raven: AZARATH! METRION! ZINOTHOS!
Reindeer: gzAAAAAAHg! (is fried by a dark lightning bolt)
: You can say there's no such thing as Santa:
Star: Everybody's so very, very merry!
BB: Star! Everyone's dead!
Star: WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE! Karma, ATTACK!
: But as for me and Slade, we believe:
Slade: Meeeercy! Please! Meeeercy!
Karma: (is to busy chewing on Slade's head to hear him)
Star: No mercy for the unspirited…
: Now the glorg is on the table:
Silkie: (eats the glorg)
: The sadness pudding's made of tofu:
Silkie: (eats the pudding)
: And the blue and silver candles:
Silkie: (eats the candles)
: That would have matched the hair on Malchior's wig:
Malchior: Say Wha-!
Silkie: (eats Malchior)
: I've warned all my fans and readers! Better watch out for yourselves:
Slushie (tats me): Santa is a homicidal, psycho maniac! (crickets chirping)
Little Boy: Mommy! That weird girl thinks Santa is a maniac!
Mom: Stop polluting my child's mind! (punches Slushie)
: But they send me flaming comments:
All Reviewers: SHUT UP!
: So, I might as well join St. Nick and all his elves:
Slushie: (hops on Santa's Sleigh) Hey where's the elves?
Legolas: I'm the only elf left.
Slushie: Where's Santa?
Legolas: In a dimension very black.
Slushie: And the reindeer?
Legolas: Running over Raven as we speak.
Slushie: Very good. Now, pull my sleigh, elf! (cracks the whip)
Legolas: (drags Santa's sleigh) ow…
: Raven got run over by a reindeer! Walking to T-Tower Christmas Eve:
Raven: (exhales) I think I got him… (turns to find the whole crew of reindeer) …aw, darnit…
: You can say there's no such thing as Santa:
Star: (holds sniper and turns to look at readers) Now, you want soma dis?
: But as for me and Slade, we believe:
Slade: YES! YES! I AM A BELIEVER! And I'll prove it by joining the Titans in festive celebration.
Star: Hooray!
Slade: Um, where are the other titans?
Star: (smiles evily) I'm the only one left. I have successfully weeded out all the people who have not obtained the "Chrismiss" spirit.
Slushie: HoHoHo! MEEEEERY CHRISTMAS! (flies overhead by an elf-pulled slead)
……………………………………
Don't forget to R&R! And remember, keep a cheery spirit or Karma will pay you a visit, knock you down, steal your wallet, enslave your women, and kill you…
Merry Christmas everybody!