The Sardonic Psychiatrist

Chapter 1 – Close Quarters

"Would you SHUT the hell up, woman?" Sinister said out loud.

'I didn't say anything. I can't talk, remember?' Susan Jones countered. 'You're the one that stole my body. Put me back in that damn plant and stop pissing on me, damnit!'

Sinister groaned and rolled his eyes. 'For the last time, woman – I do not like these living arrangements anymore than you do. It is necessary to have your psyche here so I can work without being detected by the telepaths. Now, please, silence yourself!'

'Living arrangements? Living arrangements? You're in MY BODY!' Susan shrieked. "With me!'

Sinister struggled with Susan as they briefly vied for control of Susan's body. 'Stop this nonsense or…'

Their struggle was interrupted when Beast walked into the makeshift office Xavier had set up for the new psychiatrist. "Hello, Dr. Jones, I'm Hank McCoy, very pleased to meet you."

"Let's have sex right now!" Susan yelled, gaining control of her body briefly.

'NO! Don't you dare, woman!' Sinister yelled.

Susan ignored his mental screams and stood, then unbuttoned her coat and looked into Hank's eyes. "The color blue turns me on." She said.

Hank gasped. "Oh my stars!" He made no effort to resist the lovely doctor, who was coming onto him like nothing he'd ever experienced before.

'Susan! Do this and I will make sure you are miserable for the rest of your life!' Sinister said, pleading with her.

Susan simply smiled and began stripping the big blue fur ball, ignoring the heightening screams from her 'mental roommate,' as Sinister had so easily labeled himself. 'Hey, Sinister. Ever wonder what it's like to be penetrated?'

'Oh Lord. Please do not do this.' Sinister replied, his plea no more than a whimper as Susan kept her attention on the naked Beast in front of her.

Hank smiled. "How would you like a little Beast in you, Ms. Jones?"

"I'd like that very much." Susan said, throwing herself at him.

'NONONONONONONONO!' Sinister's pleas fell on deaf ears.

………………………………………………………………

'Sinister, you still up there?' Susan finally asked. It had been hours since she'd heard the strange mutate invading her thoughts.

'Yes.'

'You're quiet.' Susan said, amused by his reaction.

'You just made us have sex with an animal. A male animal.' Sinister replied numbly. 'Do not think this will go unpunished.'

After a rather long mental struggle, Sinister reassumed control of Susan's body and went up to Susan's bedroom at the mansion, which had been a guest room until that morning. He retrieved some equipment and a couple of small jars. He began to clean a section of Susan's torso with alcohol when Susan suddenly realized he was about to do something to her body.

'What the fuck are you doing to me?' Susan demanded.

Sinister grinned and laughed. 'Preventing you from another mishap like today's.' He jammed the syringe into his arm. 'Oh look, I killed your libido!'

'Why? What kind of a fucked up idea is that?' Susan yelled.

Sinister looked in the mirror. 'One I stole from you, I believe.' He pulled some clothes out of the suitcase and went down the hall to the bathroom.

'Stop touching me!' Susan yelled.

'Do you know of a better way to shower?' Sinister replied. 'You're lucky I don't use metal cleaning pad to remove all of your skin after what you just did. Besides, I can touch you if I want. This is my body now too.' He pinched Susan's breasts. 'OW! That does hurt.'

'No freaking crap, genius.' Susan hissed. 'What is your problem? Why can't you just apply for a job here in YOUR body?'

Sinister grinned. 'I'm not well liked among the X-Men. Some minor matchmaking, baby-snatching, massacre, and a few other things. What can I say? Those moralistic bastards hold grudges.'

'Gee, I wonder why!' Susan replied.

………………………………………………………………………

Next Chapter: 'Girl Talk with Nathaniel Essex.'

Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel.

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