Thanks for staying with me so far. From the newly reset stats, it looks like many are going back to read the Mind of a Child (don't worry - I had to go back and read it again before I started this.) I apologize for all the typos I never got around to correcting. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the updates may slow down. Hubby comes home tomorrow from his out of town trip and that means more work for me. Then there's the little problem of mid-quarter grades being due Monday and I am seriously behind because I have been writing chapters instead of grading papers. Diggin holes again. I've got to climb out of this one. I'll do the best I can, but I think the chapter-a-day updates are over for a while.

The Mind of Atlantis - Chapter 5

"Okay, Major, I think we're finished. You just lay here quietly and I'll be back in a minute to unhook ya." Beckett patted Sheppard on the shoulder.

Sheppard was lying on an exam bed hooked up to the EEG machine. "Uh, doc. Couldn't you unhook me before you ran off?"

"No...I'd rather wait until I've had a chance to look at these so I can be sure we're really finished before I unhook ya from the machine. I won't be long, Major." Beckett walked over to his office.

Sheppard lay there staring at the ceiling, trying to convince himself that the adhesive on the EEG leads wasn't making his head itch. He tried to distract himself by thinking of Atlantis. He thought about all the stuff going on just in the infirmary - the lights, the machinery, the computers. He could almost hear the hum of the city as it powered the activity around him. At one time he would have found the hum annoying, but somehow now it was almost comforting. It meant she was functioning and that she was okay. He was still tired and had a bit of a headache from the day before. If Bates hadn't awakened him to ask him a question, he probably would have slept through his EEG appointment. Well, Bates was good for something besides pissing people off after all. He could feel his eyelids drifting closed, but he couldn't seem to stop it.

"Major?" He opened his eyes immediately, his light doze easily interrupted. Dr. Beckett and Dr. Weir stood beside the exam table.

"Doc...find anything?"

Beckett looked at Elizabeth and then back at Sheppard. "Yes, son. You could say that. Let me get you disconnected so you can sit up and I'll explain." Beckett and a nurse removed the EEG leads and the nurse rolled the machine away. Sheppard sat up and hung his legs off the table, picking adhesive out of his hair and scratching his head.

"Okay, doc, what's up? No offense, but I'd like the truth this time."

"Aye...and that's what you'll be gettin'." Beckett handed him the first page out of a stack of papers he was holding. Elizabeth stood behind him, looking over his shoulder. "That is a normal EEG pattern for an adult that's awake. This shows mostly alpha and beta waves," he pointed to the waves on the paper. "You can use this as a sort of reference."

"You realize I have no idea what I'm seeing, right?" Sheppard asked, looking curiously at the paper.

"That's okay, Major. You don't have to understand it to see what I'm going to show you." He handed him the next sheet. "This is an EEG I took while you were in the mind of a child."

Sheppard studied it for a minute. "It looks different in several places."

Beckett nodded. "These patterns that you see here are theta waves. They tend to be more pronounced in children. Notice this recurring spike in the theta waves and then again in these beta waves." He pointed to the peaks he was referring to.

"They aren't there at all on the normal one and they are pretty large on this one. Are those the anomalies you've been talking about?"

"Aye. Now look at this one." He handed Sheppard a third EEG. "This was taken after you were returned to your right mind. This is the one I didn't tell you about. What do you see?"

Sheppard looked at it only a minute before replying. "Mostly looks like the normal one except those peaks are still there...just smaller." He continued to study it a second. "These waves..." he hesitated, looking at Beckett.

"Theta waves."

"Yeah...I see them more than in the normal EEG, but less than when I was going through my second childhood. And I see those ...peaks...or spikes...or whatever are still there, but just smaller."

Beckett nodded and handed him a fourth paper. "This one I found in your file. It was taken after a head injury in Afghanistan. And, I might add a personal note that I do not understand the actions of U.S. Air Force doctors. You should have been sent back to the states for several weeks at least to recuperate from that injury. According to your record, you were back on duty in less than two weeks. What kind of operation are you people running over there?"

Sheppard shrugged sheepishly. "Uh...doc...we were kind of short handed right then and I insisted I was okay and needed to get back to my unit. Shar...uh, Dr. Ross did the EEG to help her determine if I was okay enough to send back out."

Elizabeth smiled as she raised her eyebrows. "Sharon, huh? So, did you get a little farther in your sweet-talking because it was a lady doctor, Major? Maybe...twisted her arm a little...or maybe..."

"Elizabeth...I'd rather not go there right now," he said as his face flushed slightly. "I was fine back then, just like I said, and I'm fine now." Sheppard looked down at the fourth EEG. "I don't see the peaks on this one doc. It looks a lot like that first one you showed me."

"No, the spikes aren't there. This," he said as he handed Sheppard the next one, "is the one I just took."

"Looks kind of like the one after I was returned to adulthood...except the spikes are bigger...just like Atlantis said. So they weren't there on earth and they developed after I had my bad connection to the Ancient technology. That supports what Atlantis said that it was...just a different pattern developing as a result of my connection to the city."

Beckett smiled. "It started earlier than that, I just didn't catch it." Beckett handed him the last paper. When he looked closely, he could see the extra spikes. They were easy to miss because they were much smaller on this last EEG.

"When was this taken, Carson?" asked Elizabeth.

"Do you remember me giving everyone a full physical to establish baselines for everyone shortly after we arrived? I did EKGs and EEGs and bloodwork on everyone so I'd have a personal norm in their files. This was Major Sheppard's EEG - taken 3 weeks after we arrived in Atlantis. The city was trying to talk to him, even back then. The increase in theta waves didn't occur until your interaction with the technology. Theta waves in a conscious adult can indicate a brain injury, but in your case I'm starting to think it's more related to your increasing connection to Atlantis. It's sometimes also associated with trances or daydreaming, which may have something to do with the way the city talks to you. I can't really say at this point."

Sheppard sat staring at the paper for several minutes, remembering the funny feelings he would get and try to ignore, afraid he was losing his mind or suffering some kind of weird space sickness. Atlantis had been trying to talk to him for months and he had ignored her. He made a mental note to apologize to her. "Sooooo, this is real. Atlantis is real and she's talking to me."

"Yes, Major. And I owe you an even bigger apology than before. Not only for withholdin' information, but also for not noticin' this months ago. Maybe we could have figured this out earlier."

Sheppard shook his head. "I doubt it doc. And...I owe you both an apology for yesterday. I overreacted and I'm sorry for being such a jerk about it. I know you were just doing what you thought was best. I guess this is freaking me out a little more than I thought."

"It's okay, lad...I'm just glad to find out what's going on. Major...I have a request. I want to monitor you once when you talk to Atlantis."

"Doc...I don't know." Sheppard was getting tired of all the fuss and he was definitely tired of the infirmary.

"Major...you're still showing signs of exhaustion and your temperature is still up a bit. I'm guessing you still have a headache. If I could better understand what is going on, maybe I could help."

Sheppard sighed heavily. He didn't want to, but he could already feel himself giving in. He hated all the wires and the feeling of being immobilized they gave, but he knew Beckett had a valid point. It was only once. "Okay...when do you want to do it?"

Beckett breathed a sigh of relief. It was obvious he had expected more of a fight. "Can you control when you talk to her?"

"Sometimes. She listens for me, so if I want her to come, she usually does. What about tonight? I've got some questions for her anyway."

Beckett nodded excitedly. "Yes...that would be good. What about after supper?"

"Why don't we make it about seven?"

Beckett nodded. "Aye...I'll see ya at seven, lad."

Sheppard slid off the table. "Can I go?" He purposely leaned back against the exam table as a little wave of dizziness passed. He had been expecting it and was prepared, barely letting it show.

"Aye, you can go. But take it easy and get some rest. If your temperature is still up tonight, we may postpone until tomorrow. See you at seven, Major."

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"You never did tell me how you learned to speak Ancient." McKay continued to chew his food as he eyed Sheppard across the mess hall table.

"I don't know how to speak Ancient, McKay. How many times do I have to tell you that? You know, for a genius, you're kind of slow on the uptake sometimes."

"Look, you can play denial all you want, but the fact remains that three of us heard you speak a complete sentence in Ancient." McKay took a data pad he had with him, brought something up on the screen, and shoved it across the table at Sheppard. "Look at that."

Sheppard looked at a bunch of weird symbols on the screen. "What is that?"

McKay looked disappointed. He reached across and turned the pad 180 degrees. "That," he said, "is Ancient."

"Oh," said Sheppard. He studied it for a second. "Just looks like a bunch of lines to me. Sorry, McKay. I don't read Ancient." He forked a bite of meatloaf and shoved it in his mouth. He decided it bore a striking resemblance to cardboard. It didn't seem anything tasted good any more. He put his fork down, pushed the tray away, and downed his glass of whatever they were passing off as tea. "Gotta go."

"You didn't eat much...are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm good McKay. And if I'm not, Beckett will figure it out two seconds after I enter the infirmary." As soon as he said it, he knew he had made a huge mistake. He tried to rush off, but McKay was having none of that.

"Hold it! What are you going to see Carson about? You are sick, aren't you? I knew it. It was probably because of us staying in the lab too long. I knew that would come back to haunt us. Or maybe those abnormal brain waves Carson was talking about. If only the witchdoctor could figure out what was up with that, then maybe..."

"McKay...shut up! My gosh, how do you do that? There's nothing wrong. Doc's gonna monitor me while I talk to Atlantis...kind of see what goes on physically during our meetings. Everything's okay." Sheppard rolled his eyes and sighed. How could anyone talk that fast?

"Oh...well...how about if I tag along? You know...just to see what happens."

Sheppard really hadn't wanted this to escalate into a spectator sport, but he didn't feel like he could refuse McKay. They had pretty much gone through this whole ordeal together. "Okay, I guess. But keep quiet and out of the way."

"I won't say a word."

Sheppard slid his eyes sideways at McKay with an expression of total disbelief. "Yeah...and I'll probably win the Pegasus Galaxy Lotto, too. Just don't make me regret this," he said as they headed for the infirmary.

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As Beckett and Strauhan hooked up a myriad of monitors, Sheppard began to have second thoughts about the whole process. Beckett had made him change into scrubs, which wasn't really that much of a surprise. Then came the monitors. He had expected the EEG machine, but then they added a heart monitor, as well as a blood pressure cuff and a pulse oximeter that clipped to his finger. Kelly wheeled a cart up that had a towel on top so that Sheppard couldn't see what was on the tray underneath, but he did see at least one IV bag on the second shelf. That was when he decided he needed to speak up.

"Doc...I thought you were just going to monitor me...I think I'm seeing pokey needles and things over there."

Beckett smiled and patted Sheppard on the arm reassuringly. "It's okay, Major. I was just gettin' some stuff together in case we needed it. I'm not really plannin' on using any of it. Better to be prepared, though."

"Oh...okay, then. How long til you're ready?" Sheppard felt marginally better, but was still a little nervous. When he agreed, he pictured Beckett and Weir and an EEG. They had added Nick, Kelly, McKay, and the extra monitors.. There was a second nurse doing some coming and going, but he couldn't remember her name. He'd seen her before, but usually when he was in a drug induced haze. His private showing had turned into a glorifed three-ring circus.

"Okay, Major. Any time you're ready."

"Doc...I'm not sure I can do this. It's turning into a bigger deal than I thought and I'm..."

"Just try, Major. That's all we can ask."

Sheppard sighed and nodded. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to relax. He could hear their movement...their breathing, at first mixed in with the beeping of the heart monitor, and it was very distracting. Slowly, he pushed all the sounds aside as he concentrated on the hum of Atlantis...the sound of Atlantis...the face of Atlantis.

He was standing on the balcony. leaning once again against the rail as he looked out over the sea. Somehow, no matter how many times he came here, it never failed to take his breath away. He felt her presence before he saw her. "And so we meet again."

She stepped up to the railing to stand next to him. "Very good. You are learning. You look much better."

Sheppard smiled. "Yes, I am...in a lot of ways. By the way, it seems I owe you an apology."

She cocked her head and looked at him curiously.

"I just realized that you've been trying to talk to me since we got to Atlantis. I just wanted you to know that I wasn't ignoring you, I just didn't understand. Anyway...I'm sorry it took so long."

"I understand, John. Do not worry about it. You have questions. I will answer them if I can."

Sheppard turned to face her. He stared into her ghostly ice blue eyes. They were comforting and disturbing, all at the same time. And they were the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen. She was beautiful. He found himself staring at her and wondering what she really was.

"John? You are staring at me. Do you wish to ask me questions?"

"I'm sorry...it's just that you are very beautiful." He shook his head and looked away. "You're right, I do have questions. Something strange is going on. McKay and Weir keep telling me that I'm speaking Ancient and...I don't know what they are talking about. I can't speak Ancient."

Atlantis smiled. "We have been teaching you subconsciously...as you sleep. You will need to know how to read and speak Ancient for much of your training and your work in Atlantis. We thought this the easiest way. Was this not acceptable?"

Sheppard thought a second. "No...it's not that...although it would have been nice if you'd told me. But...I still can't speak or read it."

"It is still in your subconscious. You will not be able to consciously access it until the first phase of your training is complete."

Sheppard nodded. "That makes sense, I guess. They said I spoke it in my sleep. This is just so...weird."

Atlantis smiled. "Soon it will seem normal. You will adjust to the changes and then it will not seem...weird. Now...I suspect you want to know about the training."

"Yeah...I have to admit, I am very curious about that. Can you tell me how that will work...where will it happen?'

Atlantis took his hand. "Come and I will show you. Would you like to see Atlantis as it was?"

Sheppard frowned in confusion. "Is that possible?"

They walked through the balcony doors to find the corridor full of people. They were dressed in elaborate clothes that were strange to Sheppard. Men, women, and children walking and talking, going about their daily life. Two boys scuffled over a toy and then took off running with a woman who was probably their mother calling them to come back. A young couple held hands and gazed at each other with love. Three men stood to one side, deep in discussion and oblivious to their surroundings. It could have been a scene from earth if you changed the clothes and the setting. The hall itself was much brighter, cleaner, and newer looking. No one acknowledged them as they walked down the corridor.

"Can they see us?" asked Sheppard, trying desperately to take it all in so he could remember it later.

"No. They are not really here. It is just a memory of how Atlantis was...and how I dream it will one day be again."

"It's amazing. It looks so...right. Do you think we can restore Atlantis to this level some day?"

"I do, John. And I think you are the key to making it happen."

Sheppard sighed, feeling the burden of what she was asking. He only hoped he was as strong as she seemed to think he was. "I'll try not to let you down."

"Don't worry. You will do fine."

"Hey...that's the lab we were working in," Sheppard said, pointing to a door. The people around them, along with the brightness of the hall, slowly faded away.

"Yes, it is. We must continue past that." She led him down the walkway for several yards until they came to another hallway. They turned left into the corridor and went several yards further to a door at the end of the hall. Atlantis opened the door and they stepped in. What appeared to be a small control chair sat in the center of the room. Control panels of various sizes and configurations sat against the walls surrounding the room. "This is the training room."

Sheppard was amazed. He was also a little discouraged, thinking it would take him years to figure even half this stuff out. Maybe McKay was better suited for this.

"No...it was meant for you and those like you. Only you are like the Ancient ones. For now, you are the only suited to train. You will be surprised at how quickly you learn. Sit in the chair."

Sheppard couldn't get used to the way she read his mind, but he found himself walking over to the chair. He touched it, but nothing happened. He turned around and sat down, the chair lighting up and leaning back instantly.

"When you come for the training, you will start by sitting in the chair. It will download information for a short time...by your time two or three hours. I have set the sequence to not proceed too fast. You will then use the information you have accumulated to run practive maneuvers on the test equipment. You must master the whole sequence of simulations before you may proceed to the next phase of instruction. There is much to learn, John Sheppard. It will be a slow process."

"How long are we talking about?"

"I do not know, exactly. Much will depend on how fast you assimilate the information and how much rest you need between sessions. John, this is very important. You must rest between sessions. Your physiology is not exactly as the original builders - your system is not designed to handle this. It may still be done...but it will be ...uncomfortable at times and it may make you ill. I will tell you when you have regained enough strength each time and you must not rush it. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, I get it. You're starting to sound like Beckett. Next you'll be telling me to eat more."

"That may be a problem. You will need to eat more to build your strength, but I have noticed the little we have done so far has acted to depress your appetite. We need to find a way to deal with that."

Sheppard rolled his eyes. "Oh my gosh, you really are Beckett. Okay, eat more and rest between sessions. Got it."

Atlantis looked at him sternly. "You must take this seriously, John. We are dealing with your life."

"I am taking this seriously. I may joke around some, but that's just my way. Trust me...I'm taking this seriously. Once I down load information from the chair, how do I know what machine to go to and what to do?"

"You will know."

Sheppard moved the chair back to a sitting position and stood up, walking around the room, looking at the technology. "What does all this stuff do?"

"There are four rooms of technolgy that are locked with the quantae. Each has a different purpose. One is the lab that you have already seen. These consoles will teach you about the equipment - its operation, maintenance, and repair. You will be able to run any part of Atlantis when you have completed your training. As you have seen, other technology in the city can be controlled either by anyone with the gene or by anyone in general. These new locked areas that you will be working with can be utilized to control everything else in the city."

Sheppard leaned heavily against the console he was next to as a wave of dizziness passed over him. The headache had escalated from a dull throb into a full blown stabbing pain that was starting to make him nauseous.

"John...I've kept you too long. You must go back now." She guided him back to the chair so he could sit down.

"Wait...don't go. When can I start?" He could feel himself getting weaker, but there was so much more that he wanted to know.

"You must rest and recover first, John. You must wait a few days. I will let you know when you are ready."

"How...how do I start it?" He was leaning back against the chair now, consciousness starting to slide away as he fought against the outgoing tide.

"You must think 'start instruction'. It will stop automatically when the first session is complete. Anytime you return to the chair after that, it will remember what stage you are on and instruct you accordingly. You must go now, before it is too late." She reached out and touched his forehead as he closed his eyes.

Sheppard felt himself slide away into the darkness and he was so tired, he welcomed it with open arms.

TBC