Typical warning about the medical stuff. I'm not a doctor or nurse or anything cool like that. This is based on stuff looked up on the internet or seen on TV or things like that. So if I made mistakes or it seems unrealistic, I apologize ahead of time. If you feel the need to point out the mistakes, just put it as constructive criticism and not a total blasting please.

The Mind of Atlantis - Chapter 7

Elizabeth stood nervously at the far end of the hall, away from the infirmary, peering down the adjacent corridor for some sign they were coming. She had reached the infirmary before the medical team and then had backtracked to the hallway in which now she now stood waiting. She was considering continuing her movement farther along the path the medical team hauling Sheppard would be taking when she saw them. They were moving quickly, with Kelly in the lead, Rodney walking alongside the gurney, and Carson bringing up the rear. Teyla, Ford, and Zelenka were following close behind. She fell along side Rodney as they rushed past.

She looked down as John's still, pale form. She noted the IV, the oxygen mask, and the heart monitor. "What happened, Rodney?"

"I don't know, Elizabeth. Everything seemed fine. The chair disengaged, he stood up and took a few steps, and collapsed. Elizabeth...he had two seizures before we left the room and then..."

He stopped as Sheppard once again began to flail around on the gurney. They came to an abrupt halt as Beckett shouted, "Hold on to him...he's having another seizure." The gurney was quickly surrounded by people securing the Major, once again guarding him against falling or further injuring himself. Fortunately, it was short-lived and they were on their way within a few minutes.

They reached the infirmary and were met by additional medical personnel. Nick joined Beckett and the two began talking as the gurney with Sheppard disappeared into the depths of the infirmary. The team was left in the waiting area...to wait. And that's what they did for the next two hours. They waited. They stood. They sat. They paced. They read. They talked. They hashed out everything that had happened and what they could have done differently. They theorized what could have happened to Sheppard. They wondered where Atlantis was and why she didn't protect him. They each thought about how scared and nervous they had been to see the expedition's second in command in the throes of a full blown seizure. That had perhaps been the most troublesome event to his team - seeing that total lack of control in the man who was their leader.

Finally, Elizabeth turned in her pacing path to see Carson moving toward them. She rushed to meet him with the rest of the waiting group hot on her heels. "Carson, how's John?"

Carson motioned toward the chairs. "Let's have a seat." When the doctor wants you to sit down to hear how a loved one is, the feeling is pretty much that he's about to tell you something you don't want to hear. That in mind, it was with heavy hearts that Sheppard's team pulled up chairs into a semicircle around Dr. Beckett.

Beckett rubbed his face and then looked at the group before him. "We finally have him stablized. His pulse and breathing are almost back to normal. His temperature is up, but not dangerously so. It's his blood pressure that's got me worried. We've brought it down some, but it's still far too high."

Elizabeth looked confused. "Wait...his blood pressure is high? I thought you always had trouble with it being low?"

"Aye, we did when he was talkin' with Atlantis. But the interaction with the chair has had some dramatically different results. When he talked with Atlantis, his vitals became subdued, sluggish, like he was in a trance. The increase in theta waves support that he was in a trance-like state. But with the chair, his vitals have all become aggitated - everything but his breathin'. The brain wave patterns are totally different, as well."

"Has he regained consciousness yet?" asked Teyla.

"No, he's completely unresponsive at the moment. There's one more thing." Beckett sat looking at the floor, as if trying to find the words he wanted.

"Carson?" said Elizabeth, her fear growing with Carson's struggle to find words.

"Major Sheppard experienced a...cerebrovascular accident."

Rodney gasped. "He had a stroke?" Everyone grew somber but Teyla, who had no idea what they were talking about.

"I do not understand. What is a stroke?"

Carson looked over to Teyla. "Well, lass, it can be caused by either a blood clot or a hemorrhage in a blood vessel in the brain. This disrupts the flow of blood and therefore oxygen to the brain. It can lead to weakness or paralysis, usually on one side of the body."

Teyla nodded. "We have a similar occurance in our people. It can be...very debilitating." Teyla was beginning to understand the concern displayed by the others.

"Carson...is John...how serious is this?" asked Elizabeth, the strain evident in her voice.

Beckett sighed. "We won't know anythin' for sure til he wakes up and I've had a chance to examine him. The area affected appears to be relatively small. We caught it fairly quickly and began treatment early, so I have high hopes for a good prognosis. I just want you to realize that there's a chance...well...the Major could be permanently disabled."

The room was ominously still as they sat in shocked silence, contemplating how Sheppard would react if, indeed, he was permanently disabled. No one really liked the answer.

Elizabeth quickly wiped a shaking hand across her face. "What...what do we do now?"

"We wait. We'll keep trying to get his blood pressure down some more and monitoring him closely. Other than that, we wait til he wakes up."

"How...how long will that be?" Rodney's voice shook slighly and was a little high pitched, as it tended to get when he was nervous or scared.

"There's no way to know. We'll just have to wait. You should all go about your day...I'll call you if he wakes up or if there's any change in his condition. I've got to get back." Beckett stood and went back the way he had come. Everyone else just continued to sit in silence. There didn't seem to be anywhere important enough to go.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Nick Strauhan joined Kelly as she took Sheppard's vital signs. "What time is it? I got off without my watch. My schedule's so off today with working earlier and then coming back in tonight."

Kelly laughed. "I know what you mean. I'm the same way. It's about...0300. Hey, good news. His pressure's down to 140/90. He's getting there, slowly but surely."

Nick picked up his chart and recorded the number. "Yeah...that's much better than earlier. It was scarey high when they first brought him in. It's wonder he didn't blow more vessels that he did. He was very lucky."

"I just hope he's okay, ya know. I kind of like the guy and, gosh knows, Atlantis needs him."

Nick smiled. "Yeah, he does kind of grow on you. Good thing, as much time as he's spent in the infirmary lately. And I don't think..." Kelly looked up at Nick to see why he had stopped mid-sentence. She found him staring down at Sheppard, who was looking at them curiously. "Major...can you hear me?" Nick moved up to stand beside Sheppard's head.

Sheppard attempted to answer, but the sound came out garbled, not really resembling any particular word. Sheppard's expression changed to one of near panic as he realized he couldn't seem to get his mouth to work well enough to form words.

Nick put his hand on Sheppard's arm and leaned over to be directly in front of Sheppard's gaze. "I need you to relax, Major. Let me do a few quick tests and then I can explain what has happened. Can you do that?" Sheppard, who was lying flat on his back, gave a small nod, afraid to try talking again.

Nick took Sheppard's right hand in his and cupped the Major's fingers around his index finger. "Okay, I want you to grip my finger as hard as you can." Sheppard grasped Nick's finger. It wasn't a typical Sheppard grip, but it was nevertheless fairly firm and strong. Nick knew the Major's condition was easily responsible for the small lack of strength in the limb. "Good. Okay, now let's do the other hand." He put Sheppard's hand down and moved to the other side of the bed. He picked up the patient's left hand and repreated the procedure and instructions. The grip that followed was easily half the strenth of his right hand, at best. At least he wasn't paralyzed. "Okay, good." He looked at Sheppard, the fear growing in the man's eyes as he realized something was wrong.

"Take it easy, Major. I'll explain in a minute." He then moved to the foot of the bed. He pulled the covers back from Sheppard's legs up to his knees. He picked up the right leg and bent it slightly at the knee. Bracing himself, he put one hand under Sheppard's foot and one hand against the sole of his foot. "Push against my hand, Major." Sheppard pushed hard enough he was able to straighten his leg against the pressure exerted by Nick. "Good." He put the Major's leg down and repreated the procedure with his left leg. "Okay,now push." The left leg was much weaker, not even pushing hard enough to move Nick's hand. "Okay." He returned Sheppard's leg to the bed and replaced the covers. He looked briefly over to Kelly. "What was his temp.?"

Kelly referred back to the chart. "Uh, looks like 100.2. It's also slowly coming down."

"Okay, thanks. I'm going to talk to Major Sheppard for a few minutes if you need to do something else." Kelly quickly picked up on the fact that Nick wanted to talk to the man alone.

"Yes, actually I do have some things I need to attend to. Call me if you need me." She turned and left the two men alone.

Nick pulled a chair up beside Sheppard's bed and sat down, bringing him close to the Major and making eye contact easier. "Okay, let's talk." He could see the fear in Sheppard's features had increased summarily until the man was in near panic mode. The heart monitor the Major was still connected to beeped rapidly, worrying Nick that the irregular pattern from earlier might recur. "First thing is that you need to relax. Close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths. Breathe in slowly through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth."

Sheppard looked uncertain, but followed the directions. Inside he was trying desperately to calm himself down and slow his rapid heartbeat. He felt marginally better after doing what Nick had told him, but his stomach was tied in a knot and his pulse still seemed too fast. He was trying to ignore the throbbing headache as he opened his eyes and looked back at Nick.

"Good," said Nick. "Now, the first thing you need to know is that you are going to be okay. I know you're scared right now and you're not sure what's happened, but I can honestly tell you, that from your test results and from what I saw just now, you should make a full recovery." He paused, letting that information sink in. He was happy to note that the beeping of the monitor had slowed to a more acceptable level. "Do you understand what I just said?"

Sheppard nodded slightly. He could tell from the careful way he moved that the Major had a pretty bad headache, but he didn't want to give him anything just yet.

"Okay...Major, your interaction with the chair caused your blood pressure and temperature to soar sky high. We're not sure if it was the combination of those or something else about the chair, but you had three seizures. It took quite a while to get your blood pressure down to a half-way acceptable level. Somewhere in all this...you had a mild stroke."

Sheppard felt as though someone had body slammed him against a very hard wall. His mind instantly flashed back to his best friend in junior high, Jimmy. He had gone with him on many occasions to visit his grandmother, who had suffered a stroke several years earlier. She lived in a nursing home and he could still see her, shuffling down the hall with her walker, a nurse usually nearby in case she fell. Sheppard had never understood a word she tried to utter. Jimmy and the nurses could usually figure out what she was saying, but Sheppard always thought it sounded like gibberish. He distinctly remembered feeling sorry for her, trapped in a body that simply refused to work right. That image morphed into an image of him. shuffling down the corridors of Atlantis with his walker while people who passed felt sorry for the now helpless, former military leader of the city. He pictured himself trying to carry on conversations with Elizabeth or Rodney while they smiled and tried to act like they understood his garbled words.

"Major! You're not listening to me." Nick was now right in his face, trying to get him to pay attention. He must have been talking to him while he was daydreaming. "You are going to be fine. The stroke was small and very localized. We caught it early and you received treatment quickly. You're experiencing some weakness on your left side, but it will pass. At most, you may need a little physical therapy to get your muscle strength restored full force, but you are not paralyzed and you should not have any permanent damage. And your speech should be better by tomorrow. It may take a couple of days until it's completely cleared up, but it will clear up. You just have to give it a little time. Trust me."

Sheppard's breathing began to ease as what Nick was saying began to sink in. He wanted to ask questons, but was afraid to try talking again. He couldn't bear to hear that garbled mess of sound come from his lips. He'd just wait it out. He simply nodded slightly at Nick, indicating that he understood. His head was really beginning to pound and the exhaustion was pulling him down. Nick sat and watched as his eyelids drifted closed and he fell into an uneasy sleep.

Except for doing periodic checks on the other patients in the infirmary, Nick stayed the rest of the night in the chair beside Sheppard's bed, carefully watching the monitors and checking his blood pressure. Sheppard stirred restlessly and made small, sad sounds occasionally, causing Nick to wonder what he was dreaming. He had no idea why, but he felt the need to watch over Sheppard, to make sure someone was there in case he woke. As morning began to break and the dark corners began to give way to gray, he dozed off, leaned back in the chair with his feet propped on the lower support rails of the bed. And that's how Beckett found him when he arrived at the infirmary at 0700 hours, sleepily standing guard over his patient.

------------------------------------------------------------------

A couple of hours later, Teyla, Ford, McKay, and Weir all arrived in a group to check on Major Sheppard. Beckett had contacted Elizabeth to let her know Sheppard had regained consciousness during the night. She informed him that she would gather the troops, so to speak, and report to the infirmary for their own private briefing. Beckett was waiting on them as they rolled in the door. The first thing they noticed made them all feel intensely better - Beckett was smiling.

"Oh I hope that smile means you have good news," said Elizabeth.

"Aye, I do. He's going to be fine. I haven't had a chance to examine him myself, but from Nick's report, it sounds like we got off easy. He has some weakness on the left side that we'll have to deal with, but it shouldn't take long to clear up. His was having trouble with his speech last night, but that should get better today. If he wakes up and talks, try not to make a big deal of it if he slurs his words or he sounds a bit garbled. That's to be expected for a day or two. I want everyone to remain positive. Nick told him what had happened and said he seemed very disturbed by it. We need to keep his spirits up - it'll make for a faster recovery."

"Does that mean we can see him?" asked McKay.

"Aye, I'll let you in for a minute. I'll need to check on him first, and then I'll come get you. Wait here for a moment." Beckett turned and headed back into the infirmary.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Sheppard opened his eyes, squinting against the bright lights. He looked across the infirmary, aware that the predominant sound on this end was the steading beeping of his monitor. He was more clear headed than when he had awakened earlier, so he tried to take in his surroundings. Heart monitor, - check. Finger pulse oximeter - check. IV - check. Blood pressure cuff - check. Oh crap. Catheter - check. Giant headache - check. Rodney - no check. That worried him a little. Rodney was usually staked out at his bedside. Either Rodney wasn't so good or he'd been in bad enough shape that Beckett had run everyone out. He was hoping it was the latter and not the former.

"Major? Are you awake, now lad?" Sheppard turned his head to see Beckett approaching. He was still afraid to talk, so he just looked at Beckett.

Beckett stood and looked at him for a minute. "Do you plan on answering me?"

Sheppard gently shook his head no.

Beckett sighed. "Nick told me about last night. Son, you can't refuse to talk just because you're afraid. I know what you're thinkin'. If you don't try to talk, it doesn't mean you can't talk. If you try and it doesn't come out right, then you know you're having trouble for sure. It will get better, son, but you've got to work at it. Do you understand?"

Sheppard knew what he meant and he knew he was right. He may as well give it a try while it was just Beckett to hear him if he choked and made goofy sounding garbled noises. He focused on what he wanted to say. "Kay, doc." It was slightly slurred, but it was understandable.

Beckett smiled. "Now see, that wasn't so bad. Keep trying to talk son, It will get better. Now, I need to repeat what Dr. Strauhan did with you last night."

Sheppard wasn't sure he wanted to do that either, but he knew he didn't have a choice. It scared him to realize what had happened and how close he had come to that shuffling walker. He shivered.

Beckett looked at him in concern. "Are you okay, Major?"

"Mm good," nodded Sheppard.

Beckett ran through the same set of tests that Nick had done the night before, with much the same results. Sheppard watched his face closely, trying to read his expression. He still had the fear that they were sugar-coating this and not telling him how serious his condition was. Would they tell him if he was headed for a medical discharge? Although, since they were in another galaxy, they couldn't really discharge him yet. Weir could permanenty remove him from duty though.

"Looks good, Major. We'll have you back on your feet in a few days. How about some visitors? I've got a room full of people anxious to see you."

"No," said Sheppard, his eyes dark.

Beckett put a reassuring hand on his arm. "Son...I know this is hard on you...but those people out there care about you and they've been worried sick. The last time they laid eyes on you, you were unconscious, barely breathing, and having one seizure after another. They need to see that you are okay."

Sheppard considered that for a moment. "Kay. Not...talkn...mch."

"I don't think they'll care if you talk at all. They just need to see that you are very much back in the land of the living. I'll just sit you up a bit and then go get them." Beckett moved over to the head of the bed and elevated it somewhat. The movement spiked the pain in Sheppard's head and sent the room spinning around uncontrollably. He closed his eyes against both and pushed his head back into the pillow. He felt Beckett's hand on his shoulder, steadying him. "Just ride it out, Major."

A couple of minutes later, the spinning slowed to a stop and the pain in his head dropped back to a dull throb. He opened his eyes to find a nurse blotting the sweat from his forehead with a cool rag and Beckett offering him some water. He gratefully sipped from the straw, never attempting to take the cup from Beckett. He was pretty sure he wouldn't have been able to hang onto it. "Tanks," he slurred.

"I'll be right back, Major." When Beckett returned a few minutes later with his team in tow, the nurse quietly slipped off.

Elizabeth immediately took up residence on Sheppard's left, gently taking his hand in hers. "John, we're glad to see you awake. How do you feel?"

"Mm good." He tried to smile for his team, but it felt like his mouth wouldn't completely cooperate. He couldn't see the final result of his effort, which was to emphasize a slight droop to the right side of his mouth, giving him a somewhat lopsided appearance. It was all his team could do not to cry. For them, it served as a reminder that their team leader was suffering the after effects of a stroke, a fact they found somewhat unnerving.

Ford broke the awkward silence. "We were glad to hear that you're going to be okay. Dr. Beckett says you'll make a full recovery."

"Yes, Dr. Beckett told us you would be back on your feet very soon. We will look forward to that day," added Teyla, trying to be encouraging.

Sheppard looked over at McKay, who stood in the background, strangely silent and staring at the floor. "MmKay?"

McKay looked up at Sheppard, his eyes asking what was wrong. He stepped forward, closer to the foot of the bed. "Major...Major, I'm sorry. I should have checked the chair out more thoroughly. You protect us from the Genii and the wraith. I protect you from mechanical and technological things. It was my job. Maybe if I had..."

"MmKay! Not...you...fault. No...one...fault." He could feel his eyelids beginning to droop and he felt like his body was made of lead. He knew he couldn't stay awake much longer and he didn't want McKay on a guilt trip about what had happened.

"No, Major...you can't absolve me of this one. I'm the one that did the check on the chair. Maybe there's a power problem or something. It just didn't seem that different from the others." McKay ran his hand through his hair, nervously starting to pace around the foot of the bed.

"Kay...couldn't know...Don't ...do...this...please." His eyes drifted shut before McKay could respond.

"Okay, he's asleep and he needs the rest. All of you need to get out of here for a while. You can stop by this afternoon if you like." Beckett herded everyone out of the infirmary as Sheppard slept and dreamed of Atlantis.

TBC