Divinity
...OOO...
"INUYASHA!" Kagome cried frantically stumbling through the dense shrubbery, her wet clothes getting caught on the dry branches. "Inuyasha!"
Inuyasha looked up from his task, bewildered by Kagome's sudden reappearance.
"Huh? What's the matter?" he asked as she splashed through the water and crashed into his arms.
"It's Kikyo," she stammered. "She's going to meet Naraku to make the jewel whole again!"
Inuyasha's eyes widened, "What?"
...ooo...
What the hell is that woman thinking? Sesshomaru asked himself, hastening through the air and struggling very hard to keep the sense of panic from overwhelming his judgement. She had left only that morning, he reassured himself. She couldn't have gone too far yet- certainly not as far as the forest of the bird demons... unless she flew.
Damn her.
Damn that Naraku.
...ooo...
Just as Sesshomaru had thought, Kikyo and Kanna had also taken to the sky in order to travel faster as it was necessary to reach the forest before Kanna faded. They alighted just within sight of it to continue the journey on foot in hopes of avoiding unnecessary attention from its dwellers. As they neared it, however, Kanna suddenly stopped.
"I must go alone now to prepare," she stated. "At the setting of the sun then all will be ready."
"Why do you do this?" Kikyo asked again. "Why do you betray Naraku?"
At that Kanna turned to regard her blankly.
"There is no betrayal," she answered. "I am merely giving him what he desires."
"Will you die?" Kikyo asked suddenly, not sure why.
As detached as ever, Kanna replied, "Yes."
"Are you not frightened?"
"No."
"Do you not despair over death?"
"No."
"Are you glad?"
"No."
Kikyo watched her go, not knowing whether she should pity her or be envious. Even now she was not sure whether the ability to feel was a blessing or a curse. Perhaps it was both.
Casting her eyes to the sky, she estimated that sunset would come in about an hour or so. An hour left of light, an hour left of life. Today she would die with the sun.
This was it, she thought grimly. Since she had become its guardian, she had assumed her duty had been to guard the jewel and keep it pure, but at her first death she had realized the error of that belief. Midoriko had created the jewel by binding the soul of the demon who lusted after her to her own, now she, Kikyo, would destroy it by doing the same. It was a cycle that must be completed, and the cycle ended with her.
...ooo...
Kanna walked through the forest, tracing the invisible path her mirror had revealed to her before it had been shattered, and soon she came to a perfectly circular pool of water undisturbed by the slightest breeze. She couldn't see it, but she knew it was there, right in the center, the half of the jewel which had contained the soul of the demon. Her fingers began to glow as she brought her hands up to chest level, facing the palms towards one another as she drew out the energy she had collected from the souls of her last victims from that village beneath the mountain. While she chanted the incantation, the glow between her hands grew brighter and brighter, and the fragmented jewel responded, elevating from it's resting place until it levitated just above the surface of the water.
"Go," she whispered to the orb of energy in her hands and released it. As soon as she let go it raced for the jewel, engulfing it and becoming larger and larger until the entire pool was filled with its blinding light. Then slowly it faded away, disappearing altogether and there, in the middle of the water stood Naraku completely whole. He looked at Kanna in disbelief.
"Kanna?" he asked. "What is the meaning of this?"
"Is it not what you wanted?" she returned. "At sunset the priestess will come for you."
"Kikyo?" he echoed. "Why?"
"The jewel. She intends to destroy it. Master Naraku..." she hesitated a moment before inquiring, "Do you love her?"
The question and its source jarred him and he could not answer, but they both knew it already.
"So long as the jewel exists, she will never be allowed to either live or die. If you love her," she announced, "then you will allow her to fulfill her fate and grant her peace."
"And what do you care about all this?" he inquired.
As simply as she knew how, she answered, "Nothing. What you choose to do is in your own hands. I am merely proclaiming the truth of the matter."
A moment of silence befell them as he studied her carefully, his creation already starting to dim and fade. Even now he could not decide whether he had been kind or cruel in granting her no emotions.
"Kanna," he asked, "do you hate me?"
"I cannot hate and I cannot love. Lord Naraku, what you desire is something only she can give, just as what she seeks only you can grant. Know that and cherish it." Her body was transparent now, ebbing away until she was completely gone, her last whispered words carried by the wind, "Good-bye, Master."
For a long time he kept his eyes fixated on the spot where she had stood, contemplating her words as the sun continued its decline. Carefully, he weighed his options. He had half of the Shikon Jewel and a body- what more could he need? a part of him asked. And in a short while Kikyo would come with the other half. After so many years, he could finally achieve what he had always wanted- to gain control of the jewel and transform himself into the most powerful demon in the world.
Naraku paused on that thought for a moment, but it did not take long for him to decide his course of action.
...ooo...
Sesshomaru found her just outside the forest, and she looked up to see him land but did not speak. He took several steps towards her until they were only feet apart, standing face to face.
"You are well aware of the situation?" he spoke first, breaking the silence.
"Yes," she replied plainly.
"He's after that jewel inside of you."
"Perhaps."
"And you're willing to walk right into his trap and hand it to him." It was a statement, not a question.
Rather than inciting any heated remark from her, however, she replied quietly, "Sesshomaru, do you know the history of the Shikon Jewel?" The sudden question caught him in surprise, but without waiting for an answer she told him, "Hundreds of years ago humans and demons waged a great war with one another. The humans were lead by a priestess named Midoriko whose power to purify ten demons at once was renowned and taken as the greatest threat of defeat by the demons. They sought for a weakness within her and they found one. An evil hearted man fell in love with her and sold his body to a conglomeration of powerful demons who, instead of giving him that which he lusted for, used him instead to attack her... Sound familiar?" she asked, giving him a sideways glance before continuing, "She and this assembly of demons fought for seven days and seven nights, but in the end she realized she would not be able to defeat it. As she was drawn into it's jaws however, she seized the soul of the demons and bound it to her own with the last of her strength, destroying both of them and creating the jewel in the process. It is the jewel which houses their ever warring souls to this day, the current victor influenced by the possessor of the jewel."
Sesshomaru was not sure whether he had yet been alive when this battle took place but he had often heard bits and pieces of the tale but he had never cared too much about it. He still didn't.
"So what does it have to do with you?" he asked.
Kikyo explained, "Midoriko fought in order to give her people peace, but instead she created a weapon sought both by man and demon in order to wreak more misery upon others. When I was entrusted with the jewel, I had thought my duty had been to preserve it, but when I died, I finally understood my duty was to destroy it- to finish what Midoriko had left undone. I had tried to once, by cremating it along with my body, but when Kagome entered this era, she brought it back with her along with my soul. Now I am granted a second chance to fulfill my destiny," slowly she announced her intentions, "I will meet with Naraku and restore the jewel. Then I shall bind his soul to mine and complete the cycle Midoriko set in motion."
"And then you will die," he finished hatefully. "Because of her weakness and mistake, you must suffer. Why do you allow it?" he demanded. "You did not create the jewel, it is not your burden to bear- why do you insist on carrying it?"
"Because I can!" she shot back bitterly. "If not me, then who? If the jewel is not destroyed, it will continue to corrupt and be corrupted, spreading pain and misery on all those who encounter it- don't you think that I, of all people, understand this curse? If I look away, if I abandon my duty, think of how many will suffer- of the countless wars and senseless destruction caused by those who seek this power. What of them?"
"What of them?" he responded callously. "Why should they be allowed to shift their pain on to you? Why should you be the one to pay for the sins of others?"
A slow sad smile crept to her lips at his concern.
"It is my fate," she whispered.
How he hated that word.
"You and your damn fate. For someone of your intelligence, how can you still not understand that 'fate' does not exist. Life is shaped by our might and our desires alone. We choose the paths we walk."
Without a moment's hesitation she answered, "Then I choose this one."
Her unrelenting insistence was beginning to wear his patience thin- very thin.
Slowly he replied, "I never thought you so feeble as to give up so easily."
"Why does that make me feeble?" she asked. "I do not understand- even the lowest of slaves seek freedom from his bondage. What wrong is there in shouldering the burden the gods have seen fit to bestow upon me?"
"You can still choose not to," he told her quietly.
Her smile did not disappear, but she averted her gaze from him, "Sesshomaru... is there no one you wish to protect? To spare from pain if you could?"
Why? he wondered. Why did that question always come back to haunt him?
"Who?" he asked aloud. "Who then do you deem worthy of your sacrifice? These pitiful insects you call humans? Filthy creatures who pillage and plunder one another, shedding blood merely to satisfy their own lusts. They are undeserving of a savior."
"Whether they deserve salvation or not is not mine to decide," she answered softly. "Mine is the choice of whether to grant them the chance or not- and I have decided. There is nothing you can do to dissuade me otherwise."
His patience snapped. In one smooth move he drew Tokijen from its sheath beside the Tenseiga and held it to her unflinching throat.
"If you are so insistent on dying today," he announced quietly, trying to draw back the anger threatening to break forth, "then you shall meet it by my hand. I refuse to let you die by any other."
Her eyes narrowed and bore into his.
"You'd kill me just to prove me wrong?" A small ironic smile appeared, and she told him, "then do it. I will do nothing to stop you," and as if in assurance, her bow and arrows clattered to the ground. "You tell me nothing matters in this world but power- the power to overcome and subjugate others- the power to take a life that was not yours. But power and honor are nothing without mercy. Even the basest of animals live by the same code- doing nothing except that which furthers its own wants and needs. Are you no better?"
Her words stung his pride bitterly.
"You think me weak," she continued, "because I refuse to bend to my own selfish desires, but you are weak because you cannot bend your pride for the sake of mercy."
"You had better reconsider your words wisely, woman," he remarked icily, Tokijen pressing against her flesh just ever so slightly.
"Hn," she answered defiantly, that angry smile never leaving her face, scorning him. "If killing me will prove your point, then do it. Let us see which is the weaker- I for giving my life, or you for taking it." Her voice was deadly still, and he searched her eyes for any flicker of a doubt or fear. They never wavered.
He stopped short, awed by the seriousness of her resolve. Never before had he hesitated to kill another to defend his ideals, but she... she did not think twice to die for hers. Killing her held no value to him- what would it prove in her logic but that he was weak and she was strong? Slowly he withdrew his sword, her eyes tracing its descent as it landed at her feet.
That was what broke her.
Overwhelmed by his gesture, she stumbled forward, collapsing on to him, burying her face into his chest, her whole body trembling with shivering sobs that found no escape in her dry tears. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pressing her closer as her body melted against him.
"You and your damn reasoning," he muttered with the barest hint of fondness. He couldn't decide who had won- he or him- but oddly enough, it didn't seem to really matter.
For several minutes they stayed that way, unmoving, not wanting to break away, but as the sun sank deeper into the horizon, she stirred, and he understood.
"Must you?" he asked softly, one last final plea.
"Yes," she answered. "Please forgive me."
With a small sigh, he replied, "There is nothing to forgive."
...ooo...
Naraku was waiting for her in the middle of the shallow pool, waist deep in water reflecting the blood red sunset.
Sesshomaru set her down, and she lingered for only a second before pulling away. Wordlessly, she stepped into the water; wordlessly, he watched her; and wordlessly, Naraku met her with a small smile bereft of malice.
This was it...
She stopped an arms length away to gaze into his eyes, sad but strangely affectionate. It was odd- she had never known he was capable of such an expression.
He extended his arms to her, drawing her in slowly. This time she did not resist him but succumb willingly into his embrace, wrapping her own arms around him.
Yes, he thought, this was all he wanted. All he had ever needed...
She spoke first, "I'm sorry."
"Do not blame yourself," he murmured tenderly. "Sometimes hate is justified. I am the one sorry for causing you to feel it."
"...I forgive you."
For a brief moment their embrace tightened as they squeezed each other in reassurance, and just as quickly, it loosened.
"Good-bye, Naraku," she whispered softly.
"Good-bye," he answered lovingly, "dear Kikyo."
Silently Sesshomaru watched enthralled as a gentle glow developed in between them, slowly enveloping the pair in the warm light.
"KIKYO! NO!" Inuyasha yelled as he burst into the scene with Kagome behind him. He charged for them, the Tetsusaiga drawn, but was deflected by the powerful barrier which had formed around the pool, shimmering lightly in the fading sunlight.
"It's useless, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru informed him calmly standing back.
His brother whirled to face him, "Sesshomaru! Why? Why did you let her go?"
"It was her will."
With horrified awe, Inuyasha returned his gaze back to the pool where the blinding white light had completely covered the two figures in the center.
The water began to ripple and then rise, cresting in waves increasing in height as it swirled around Naraku and Kikyo, swallowing them up in a cylindrical cyclone of glimmering crimson. Then the sphere of light exploded, causing the entire pool to swell and burst, destroying the barrier.
Sesshomaru stood his ground as a wave crashed against him, refusing to look away.
"Inuyasha!" Kagome screamed, clinging to a nearby tree for support as the entire surrounding area was swamped by the surging water.
Then just as quickly as it came, the encroaching tides retreated and settled back into the calmed pool.
They looked in time to see the last bits of lights fade, like white fireflies extinguishing in the air. Naraku was gone, but Kikyo's soul collectors had appeared, snaking above her lifeless body.
"Kikyo!" Inuyasha screamed, splashing into the water to lift her into his arms. He buried his face into her neck, crying, "Kikyo, no... You can't leave me like this again."
Sesshomaru knew it was useless. She was gone. Once again he had stood quietly by and did nothing to stop her from dying, but just as before, she had not wished it otherwise.
He turned to go, but Kagome's whispered voice stopped him.
"Sesshomaru..." she could not meet his stare as she made her request. "Why... why don't you use it? The Tenseiga- to revive Kikyo."
The sword pulsed at his side, begging to be drawn as he paused to hear her words. She would grant life to her who would take the one she loves? Then again, if he could he would have granted her life even if only to see her end up in the arms of another. But it was not possible. Without answering, he continued on his way.
"Dammit, Sesshomaru!" Inuyasha growled in fury. "She spare your life, and you're just going to walk away?"
Sesshomaru did not hesitate, "Yes."
"You bastard!" he yelled, his anger breaking loose. "She cared about you! Don't you care at all about that? Don't you care at all about her?"
Those words froze him, and his eyes widened and reddened from the accusation, but he quickly suppressed it.
Instead he replied icily, "And you Inuyasha, if you cared at all about her, you would understand why I don't." Inuyasha was stunned by the statement, but Sesshomaru went on, "Do you really believe it is her desire to be brought back to a world that does not want her? To be given a life which she cannot live? With no purpose but to wander for eternity in an empty body which must consume the souls of the dead, and all the while hating herself for the repulsive creature which she has been forced to become? Tell me- is that how you show mercy to your love?"
Mercy...
He had thought it was impossible- he was an assassin, the killing perfection, the destroyer of the circle of life, and he had thought mercy meant life. And she was a bellflower- every time he killed, she was the one that ended up on the grave. To her, the right to live a life of her own was something which would always be denied- bellflowers lived so that they may die for others. Even their deaths were not their own...
But mercy wasn't life. Nor was it death. Mercy was simply mercy.
He had thought she was beyond him- beyond his mercy- because he could grant her neither one, but now he knew. Mercy for her was rest, and that was something he could give her now...
And he would.
Slowly his words sank through to Inuyasha. Gazing sadly at the woman in his arms, he realized Sesshomaru was right. All they could do for her now was allow her to rest- to deny her that would be to hate her and he... he could never hate her. No matter what had happened between them, she had always been the one he loved first, the one he loved most... even if she could not be the one he loved last.
Gathering her into his arms, he thought, At least this time I can give her a proper burial...
He was about to carry her away but her soul collectors encircled him, blocking his path.
"What the hell?" he stammered, confused by their persistence as one wrapped itself around her arm, trying to tug her loose from his grasp.
Sesshomaru turned to witness the scene, and with a small inward smile, he told his brother, "Leave her to them, Inuyasha. They deserve her more than anyone."
At the firmness of his voice, Inuyasha lowered her back into the water, her body buoyed to the surface by the expanse of her wide clothing, her hair fanning out in a dark halo behind the ethereal white face, still lovely. Even in death she was beautiful. Or perhaps it was death which had always made her so.
With a final sigh, Inuyasha left her to rejoin Kagome and Sesshomaru, and with one last glance at the lonely, fated figure, all three turned to walk away.
Rest well, bellflower.
Rest well, my beloved.
...ooo...
Kikyo was immersed in the clear black liquid, sinking into it's abyss. She was sinking into death. She knew it but she didn't struggle as a sense of peace overcame her, a peace she had never before felt- the sort of peace that comes to a bone-weary laborer who is finally allowed his rest, that amnestic sleep which erases all memories of pain and happiness and longing. This was all she could have ever hoped for, all she knew she could ever have.
So why was it that a part of her refused to let go?
"Open your eyes, child." The feminine voice flowed all around her and through her, languid and warm.
Slowly, she obeyed wondering who it was calling her. There was nothing around her except for the enveloping darkness and the small phosphorescent sphere of brilliant white light somewhere in the distance.
"Who are you?" she asked in her mind, but her thoughts were projected, her voice echoing in her strange surrounding.
The voice laughed kindly.
"Wisdom, courage, friendship, and love all combined within you to set me free..."
"Midoriko?"
"Yes."
"I don't understand..."
"Forgiveness, child. You were able to look beyond yourself and forgive he who had wronged you so gravely and reconcile your soul to his," the voice explained. "Anyone can sacrifice their life and happiness for the sake of those they love, but to forgive him whom you hate... that is love beyond measure."
"Love?" she repeated incredulously. "How can that be when all my soul is hatred."
The voice sighed sadly, "So many misunderstand. They believe in order to remain pure and untainted, then they must shut their hearts to emotion. It is true that when we love, we risk also feeling hate, just as joy is often accompanied by grief, but a heart devoid of emotion is empty. There is no purity in such a vacant soul- no matter how unstained. The perfectness of heart required to purify the jewel could never have been attained had you not overcome the trials set before you. And now," she concluded, "there is but one last thing you must do to fulfill your destiny."
"What is it?" Kikyo was at a loss. What else could she do now that she was dead?
But the voice told her, "Make a wish. The jewel must grant a wish before it can be rendered harmless."
A wish? she wondered. What was there for her to wish for?
Sensing her reluctance, the voice assured her, "It's alright to want, you know. If we never wanted, never needed, we would be nothing more than stones. Life would have no value, and life was meant to be valued. Anything you want is mine to give."
Kikyo thought about that. Anything she wanted...
"But I am dead," she said suddenly. "I have no needs or desires for the afterlife."
"Then wish for life."
Life... Kikyo closed her eyes, trying to imagine such an idea but it was too difficult. What would she do with such a gift? Even if she decided to return to the world as a full person, what would that change? Her circumstance would still be the same- it would not be affected simply because she was whole. She had always thought it was something she had always wanted, but now faced with the possibility of obtaining it, the idea left her feeling cold and empty. No. She would not wish for life.
But a wish had to be made. So what did she want?
Images flashed in her mind- a little girl with an injured eye smiling up at her for approval, now an old woman who seldom laughed except for the sake of a girl who was her image but wasn't who gave her heart to a boy whose own was too steeped in guilt to ever return it; and him standing alone, proud and tall with cold golden eyes masking his sorrow. And suddenly she knew...
Opening her eyes, she gazed at the glow in front of her.
"I know what I want," she voiced softly.
"Then make your wish."
So she did, "I wish for their happiness and well-being. I wish for my sister to always have a friend, for Inuyasha to forget his guilt, and..." she paused, unable to bring herself to say his name, so she finished, "and I wish for him to find the heart he has denied himself. I... I want to see him smile again."
A ringing laugh issued forth from the light, "As you wish." It glowed brighter and brighter, and she could feel its warmth on her skin as it overflowed all throughout her and into the surrounding darkness.
And then she was gone.
...OOO...