Author's Note: I've been a Palex shipper for a long time now. I wanted to write something where I got inside Alex's head. I know that Alex is a very complex character with a lot of interesting background. Just a oneshot.
thought this could use an edit
Black converse high tops slapping on the pavement. I wasn't sure where I was running. Shivers overtook me, but I kept going, I had to keep going. The farther away I was, the more the knots in my stomach untangled.
Now to explain why I was running in the first place.
I was slowly being driven crazy. For seventeen years, I had to grin and bear it. My deadbeat father left when I was young, leaving my mom as a single mother. My mom never had the best choice in men. I can remember her countless boyfriends in my life. Their names are all a blur. It's not like they mattered anyway. None of them were even worth remembering. They were all complete assholes. What can I say, my mom isn't the brightest crayon in the box. I think that Chad is possibly the worst boyfriend she has ever had. They fight constantly, and he treats me like an insignificant child. I've tried to protect my mother, but I'm just getting sick of it. You'd think she'd see her mistakes, but she never does. It's like she's on an endless cycle, doomed to repeat it forever, and I don't want to be a part of that. I never had a choice, but now I was older. I could do something.
I wasn't sure at the time exactly what I was going to do. I knew when the nightly events began, that I had to leave. Same things, different night. My mom and Chad were having some type of argument. I never paid attention to what they argued about. I was sitting on the couch, and they were in the kitchen, screaming at each other. I got up calmly and went into my room, putting a few necessary items in a backpack. In the drama of it all, neither of them noticed my leaving. It was probably better that way. But then I was standing outside in the dark night, heavy rain beating down on my head.
The wind was blowing, biting at my face. I didn't think of bringing a jacket in my rush to leave. I never realized exactly how fast I could run when I wanted to. I was never much of a runner in gym class. I didn't see the point in running unless there was a reason to. Cold. So cold. Then I saw it, straight ahead. Brightly lit, warm. The Dot. It wasn't long before I was walking in the place, welcoming the warmth despite the unwanted social interaction that was bound to occur. I sat down at a booth, sighing in relief. At least I was somewhere. Looking up, I saw a waiter who smiled a fake smile, asking me what I wanted to order. I told him I didn't want anything, but he said that if I was going to be in the "establishment", then I had to buy something. So I ordered a coffee. He brought me the coffee, and I was happy to be left alone.
I stared into the brown pool in my cup. I could see my reflection, just barely. My hair was stuck to my face and my makeup was smeared. I was completely soaked. Then she came.
"Alex!" Paige grinned, sitting down across from me. She took note of my appearance. "I see you were out in the rain?" She asked, grin widening. I nodded, not meeting her gaze. I wasn't in the best of shape right now. I looked and felt horrible, and I didn't feel like speaking to anyone. Paige always had a way of cheering me up though, so I thought, why not talk to her? It couldn't hurt anything, could it?
"Yeah, something like that." I mumbled, crossing my arms. I picked up the coffee, taking a big drink of it. I loved the feeling of it washing down my throat. I noticed she was staring at me. "What?" I questioned, slightly annoyed.
"Nothing," Paige said quickly, getting a bit defensive. She knew there was something wrong, I could see it in her sea colored eyes. Her face turned stony. "Is there anything you need to talk about? Because I'll listen. I mean, I'm your friend and that's what friends do. They listen."
I don't know why, but suddenly everything started spilling out. Including tears.
"...And I ran. It was the only thing I could think of. I can't stand living there any longer. It's too much to live with, too much responsibility." I sniffed, reaching the end of my story. "I don't know what to do, where to go. I don't want to go home, I can't go home." I was growing hysterical. For once in my life, I let myself feel. Of all people, I was telling this to Paige. The most popular girl in school. But I knew there was more to her than that, more to our relationship than that. I had some feelings for her, a lot of feelings. I didn't realize the extent of those feelings until then, sitting there in that restaurant with her gazing into my eyes. The recognition, the connection between our souls. That's what I felt.
Paige looked at me, sadness flickering in her eyes. "Wow, Alex. I'm sorry it's like that at home. No one deserves to be treated that way."
"Even me?" I asked, surprised. She took my hand, squeezing it as she spoke.
"Especially you." When I heard her answer, I smiled, relaxing. I took another drink of my coffee, enjoying the rich taste. "I'd like it if you'd stay at my house, at least for tonight." She insisted, gazing deeper into my eyes. I nodded in response, glad to have somewhere else to stay.
"Okay." Paige threw her arms around me in happiness. I hugged her. I had definitely underestimated her caring. Here she was offering for me to spend the night at her house when I had nowhere else to go. She really was a good friend, and I was beginning to realize that. I didn't want the hug to end, but it had to. I pulled away with a look of embarrassment on my face, one that looked very out of place, as I didn't get embarrassed often.
She pushed a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear. She was beautiful. Perfect body. Sparkling eyes. Brilliant smile. God, I was in love with her.
The waiter came back as I reached into my pocket, getting ready to pull out a slick five dollar bill, but Paige beat me to it. She handed the waiter a five and smiled sweetly, jumping up from her side of the table. I got up too, grabbing my backpack, and together we walked out to her car. The rain had stopped, but it was still chilly outside. I clutched my arms against my chest, shivering unsurely.
She unlocked the car and hopped in. I followed. Putting on my seatbelt, I leaned back into the seat and closed my eyes. I felt her light touch on my cheek; it was so welcoming.
"It's been a long day, hasn't it? When we get home, we can go straight to bed." Paige kept the radio off as she drove, and I fell into a shallow sleep. We drove for what seemed like hours, but in reality was only a few minutes. She tapped me on the shoulder and I jerked awake, staring forward in awe of Paige's house.
"It's really nice." I complimented tiredly, yawning. She smiled as she turned off the car. We got out and walked inside. The house smelled like sugar cookies, and Paige's mom was in the kitchen.
"Oh, hello!" The blonde Mrs. Michalchuk said brightly, pressing her pink lips together. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?" She cocked her head to the side to get a nice look at me. I shifted around uncomfortably. She seemed nice, but I knew I wasn't the type of person Paige typically brought over. I felt a bit out of place.
"Yeah, sure. This is Alex. You don't mind if she sleeps over tonight, do you?" Paige asked. Before her mom could answer, Paige nodded to herself. "Okay thanks." She hurried up the steps and I shrugged, hurrying after her.
Paige's room was pretty normal. It had a few posters on the walls, but nothing too extravagant. It was still significantly bigger than my room, a tiny little space in our shabby apartment complex. She was so lucky, and she didn't even realize it. She handed me a shirt and some flannel pants, which I accepted graciously. I quickly changed, and snug in these warm clothes, I began to lay down on the floor. Paige let out a laugh of surprise.
"Oh, Alex. Like I'd let you sleep on the floor," She said it like it was a travesty to even think of sleeping on the floor, but I did it all the time and it didn't bother me a bit. "You can share the bed with me. I mean, if you don't mind." She offered, pulling down the sheets and patting the bed invitingly.
"Um, sure." I jumped up from the floor and collapsed into bed, pulling the covers over me. Paige changed into pajamas, turned out the light, and got in bed. She shifted around a bit before she got comfortable. As I closed my eyes I felt her arms wrap around me. There was a slight fluttering in my stomach, which I ignored. It wasn't long before I fell into a deep sleep.
When I awoke, I smelled pancakes. I outstretched my arms, yawning and noticing that Paige had already gotten up. She must have been downstairs. I found my way into the bathroom and brushed my teeth, rubbing some of the toothpaste over them and gargling some mouthwash. I let out another yawn and made my way down the stairs, following the scent that was driving my stomach wild.
"These pancakes smell great." I said as I walked into the kitchen, sitting down at the table. Paige grinned up at me from the stove. She shrugged, flipping over the pancakes nonchalantly.
"Who knew I could cook?" She laughed. "It's actually a surprise I haven't burnt down the house. But I thought you could use a tasty breakfast, and my mom's at work. It's the least I could do."
"Thank you. I bet it'll be delicious." I licked my lips, anticipating the nice breakfast I was about to eat. I didn't typically eat breakfast at home on any normal day, and if I did, it was something like poptarts.
Paige put two pancakes on each plate and smothered them with butter and syrup. Then she carried the plates over to the table. Running back over and grabbing 2 forks, she sat down and handed me one. We began to eat.
"Wow, this is amazing." I complimented, my mouth full. "Compliments to the chef." She took a bite, nodding her head in agreement. A piece of her blonde hair fell into her eyes. I thought out loud.
"Beautiful."
"What is?" Paige asked, looking up from her plate in wonderment.
"You." I said simply, taking another bite of the delicious pancakes. I saw her face burn deep red, and the smile that was already present on my face widened. "Aww. You're embarrassed."
"Oh, shut up. Don't make me kick you out of my house." She joked, getting up from her chair. I got up as well, following her to the refrigerator.
"Whatcha doin'?" I asked innocently as she opened the fridge, taking out the milk.
"Getting something to drink. What are you doing?" She replied flirtily, rolling her eyes and making sure I saw her as she did so.
"Watchin' you." I winked, coming up behind her and putting my arms around her waist. I pulled her close, kissing her neck lightly. She didn't pull away. Her first reaction was turning around, capturing my lips in a kiss. I was surprised. Apparently, so was she. Paige just walked out of the room, leaving me standing there, puzzled.
I sighed loudly. I probably just screwed things up, but I didn't feel like I did anything wrong. I kissed her first, but she kissed me back. All I felt was a jolt of electricity. Complete, raw feeling. Wholeness. I followed her, grabbing her by the arm. Tears were streaming down her face. I instantly pulled her into a hug, wiping the tears away. I didn't want to see her cry, and it felt horrible knowing it was because of me that those tears were flowing.
"What's wrong?" I questioned, worry lines on my forehead.
"I can't do this, I can't do this." Paige whispered repeatedly, resisting my touch, tears making their way down her reddened face.
"Can't do what? I didn't say you had to do anything. Don't make this into anything more than it was. Paige, its no big deal. I promise you. It didn't mean anything." I was lying, of course, but I was trying to make her feel better. It didn't help. In fact, it seemed to make things worse.
"What do you mean it didn't mean anything?" She asked hysterically, voice growing high-pitched. She pushed me away, walking into the living room and dropping onto the couch.
"I don't know." I answered truthfully, sitting down beside of her. I took her hand in mine. This time she didn't resist, but she didn't look at me either. "I was meaning that if you didn't want it to mean anything, then it could mean nothing. But that doesn't mean that I want it to mean nothing because it meant something." I was rambling, and I realized it.
"I don't like the pressure, and I don't even like girls!" Paige replied, sounding frustrated.
"You think I do?" I answered, getting a little upset. I'd never liked girls before, she was the first.
"I don't know. But you're the only girl I've ever liked." She mumbled. I ran my fingertips over her soft lips, feeling her shiver at my touch.
"So you do like me?" I asked slowly, gazing at her thoughtfully.
"Why else would I kiss you?" She answered, as if it was obvious. Before she could say anything further, I cupped her face in my hands and planted a kiss on her trembling lips. She snapped her eyes shut and returned the kiss.
"I like you too," I said, trying not to laugh at the awkwardness of it all. "I more than like you, actually." My voice deepened as I squeezed her hand. "I think I'm falling in love with you."
"Wow." Paige was stunned.
"Yeah. I know. I've never felt this feeling before. It's beyond anything I could ever imagine. None of this has to have a label, Paige. Who cares if we're girls, who cares if we're boys, who cares. It is what it is, nothing more. Nothing less. It doesn't have to be a big deal. Just two people who love each other." I mumbled the last part, a little bit unsure.
"How do you know I love you?" She asked suddenly. I opened my mouth, speechless. She was right- I didn't know if she did. "No, don't look at me like that. I do. I do love you." Her face softened as her head fell to my shoulder. "I don't know what to do."
"We'll figure it out," I reassured her. "You're not the only one who's never done this before. We can make sense of it all. I have faith."
She nodded. "So do I."
"Thank you," I began, getting up from the couch. She stood, taking my hands in hers as I continued. "But I think I need to go back home. Things will be okay now. I won't take any more, and now I have something to keep me sane." I paused, kissing her lightly on the forehead. "You."
I went upstairs and grabbed my backpack. I said goodbye to Paige, and I told her I'd call her later. Then I left. And on the walk home, I noticed that the sky was a clear blue. The same color as Paige's eyes when she was happy. The color they were when I had left. I smiled to myself, and softly spoke.
"It is going to be alright."