30x300 by -yannik-
DAY FIFTEEN
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No sleep, no more sleep – Tompromised himself, but the dreams just kept coming, unwanted, uninvited.
Those about the turbolifts, the sailing ships, the shuttles, the pool of Sarah Baker's parents' back in high school, the trip to Los Alamos. All of them bad, scary, or at least humiliating. Full of his father's anger, or his friends hurting. Or both. Or simply about his stupidity that didn't kill anyone. Yes, that happened too – hard to believe. Actually that's what usually happened. He only killed three people. Three of his best friends.
Only three.
More than enough.
Another of his best friends woke him up from another bad dream. Not that frightening for that matter, about his father yelling… and demoting him… No, that was Captain Janeway…
What did Harry want? To tell him how wise it would be to finally finish something in his life? Finish the letter? What for? Just for the pure fun of it? Reason as good as any other…
"I wanted to fight for it, you know. For the alien ocean I shouldn't give a damn about. But I did…"
"Did you finish that?" Chomsky asked pointing at the platter full of leola root stew.
Tom nodded, and Chomsky took the platter eyeing him suspiciously. He threw it into the recycler.
"So I cared. Plus we had the solution, only it wouldn't do for the Moneans. What was I thinking? That I really was some Captain Proton –the savior of worlds? Stupid. I've always been stupid. Stupid and reckless. That's what you always said. You made me who I am! Your constant telling me I was worthless!" Tom stopped. That was not what he wanted to say. "Erase today's recording."
He'd start again tomorrow.
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t.b.c.