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Yuna turned back to me and took comfort in my arms again, and I just began to space off with a blank expression. I was beginning to go back to the way I was without Yuna, when I actually needed those pills. I wasn't thinking straight, I wasn't thinking about getting some more of those to help me through.

I should've been.

After Yuna sent Rikku and said good night, I headed out onto the beach. Nate, Max, and Tamar were all huddled together, watching me walk towards them. "Is everything okay?" Nate asked.

I shook my head. "Rikku's dead.." I said quietly, "I'll be in the village." I then headed up the path and sat back down in my spot on the cliff.

I stayed there the entire night, not moving a muscle. Even once the people of the village began to wake, I didn't move. Not like I was good for anything anyway. Only thing I ever managed to do was kill the people closest to me.

/I don't deserve to live../ I thought, staring at the water with glazed eyes.

I saw Yuna out of the corner of my eye, but I didn't move to talk to her. Instead, after she was done telling Wakka, I stood and headed for the airship.

Without talking to anyone, I walked to the bathroom and locked myself in, before rummaging through the medicine cabinet for something strong.

Finally, I found what I was looking for. A bottle of vicodin. I shook five of the pills into my hand and swallowed them dry. They tasted horrible, but I didn't care. This had to be done.

Soon, I began to feel the pills begin to work. I was lightheaded and dizzy, so I had to sit with my back against the wall. It only took another few minutes before it felt like my insides were on fire, and soon I was foaming at the mouth.

I heard Yuna knock and ask if I was in there, but I didn't answer. Not that I could at this point, anyway. Softly, I shut my eyes.

/It's better this way..for everyone../ I thought.

Yuna began to yell louder, and I tried to block it out. It was beginning to make me feel bad, almost regret what I had done.

I hadn't regretted it last time, why now?

I heard a loud thud as Yuna body slammed the door and broke it down, but I didn't open my eyes. Not even when she spoke did I look to her. I didn't deserve to see her.

Yuna crawled close and shook me a bit. "Seig...please if your still alive, look at me...say something..." I heard her say faintly, "Anything Seig…please..."

I said nothing, but smiled the best I could. It wasn't that it was a fake smile, just everything that was happening to my body was really keeping me from doing a lot of things. One of them, unfortunately, was becoming breathing.

She buried her face against me and started to sob. "Why Seig?" she asked, her voice slightly muffled. She should know why, I killed her cousin. I killed Rikku, and she would be the next to end up dead if I didn't do something about it. I loved her too much to let anything happen to her.

"I love you..." Yuna whispered. Even though I could barely hear her, those words hit me like a steamroller. "For awhile now..." She continued, "and just...so much..."

She loved me? Why hadn't she said before? I always thought that our relationship was one sided, that I was merely her friend…and now..now I did this to myself.

How could I be so stupid! I had already done this once, because of my depression. How many times was it going to take till I learned? Now, unlike before, I knew I had done wrong, and that I needed help. Not that I could tell anyone..

Yuna gently pulled away cleaned the foam from my mouth, before kissing me softly. "I'm going to help you Seig." She said, sounding determined. I felt her stand. "I'll be right back." She hurried from the room and it was eerily silent.

I didn't like it anymore, not one bit.