Okay everyone, Kurama's going to have a little pity party in this chapter then the next chapter will be the end. Yes it's almost over. I guess I could end it here but I think I'd be afraid for my life if I did. If you read my stories it's because you love a happy ending just like I do.

I'm glad you are all enjoying this. Thank you all for the great reviews. I forgot to thank whoever corrected my spelling on Reikai. My husband and daughter are both Reiki practitioners so I guess that spelling stuck in my head.

I have no idea who wrote the little poem I used in this so I can't give them proper credit. It was something I read on a poster in the mall when I was a kid (probably before most of you were born). It was really pretty. There was a woman on the beach in a flowy gown, her arms were up stretched as she released a dove into the sky. I don't know why but it made enough of an impression on me that I never forgot it.

Standard disclaimer: I do not own YuYu Hakusho.

LONELY HEARTS

Chapter 10

Once inside the cabin Hiei silently waited to see what Kurama would ask of him. He stood impassive as Kurama's hand cupped his cheek, tipping his head back for a sweet kiss. No matter how he tried to resist, Hiei found himself giving in to Kurama's passion.

Impatiently Hiei pulled away from the kiss. "If this is really what you want from me Fox then take me and get it over with but don't try to pretend this is anything more than sex to you."

Pain filled Kurama's eyes and his hands fell away from where they held Hiei. Stepping back he sat on the edge of the bed and hung his head. He couldn't keep the hurt from his voice when he spoke. "I'm sorry you think so little me Hiei. I'm sorry that you think I could take advantage of your honor and force you to have sex with me. I could never do that to you. I have always respected your wish to not take a lover unless you were mated. I worked hard to earn your trust and valued it above anything. It hurts to know that I've lost that trust. Don't worry though, I'll never give you reason to doubt me again."

Hiei was alarmed at how defeated the Youko sounded. Moving forward he started to reach out to Kurama then lowered his hand. "Fox…"

"No Hiei, don't say anything. I won't get through this if you do." Kurama took Hiei's hand and gently pulled him closer but not into his arms as he usually did. Golden eyes met ruby with a sad smile before Kurama leaned in and gave Hiei a tender kiss. Hiei broke the kiss when he tasted something salty. His eyes widened in surprise when he realized it was the Youko's tears on his lips.

Hiei just watched as the silver Youko raised his energy and transformed to his redheaded human form. Once again Hiei felt soft lips caress his briefly. After they parted the green eyes that met his held pain and unshed tears. "The only thing I will ask of you Fire-Fly is for you listen to me for a few minutes, then I won't ever bother you again."

Hiei's heart was pounding as Kurama spoke. "Only one other man has ever made me feel the way you do Hiei. Kuronue was my best friend, my partner and my lover. I was afraid to tell him how I felt about him and he died never knowing how much I loved him."

Kurama paused as if to gather his thoughts. "I've done the same thing to you. I pushed you away because I was afraid of my own feelings, afraid of being hurt again when you left me too. Afraid that I would hurt you. I may have lost you, but I won't let you go without telling you how I feel. I love you Hiei. I love you so much it hurts."

Closing his eyes briefly, Kurama tried to maintain control of his emotions. When he opened them he was able to hold Hiei's gaze. "I read a poem once, it's only now that I realize just how truly beautiful… and true it is."

"If you love something… let it go.
If it comes back to you… it's yours.
If it doesn't… then it never was."

Hiei could feel Kurama's hand tremble as it held his. The voice that met Hiei's ears was barely a whisper. "With all my heart and soul I love you Hiei, so I'm letting you go."

Hiei was stunned into immobility when Kurama stood, brushed one last tearful kiss across his cheek then left the cabin. Even though it took him only a few seconds to decide what to do, when Hiei exited the cabin Kurama was gone.

In a daze Kurama let himself into his mother's house. Standing in the living room he couldn't seem to remember how he got there or even why he was there. Though it seemed like longer, it was only a few minutes before Shiori came down the stairs.

Surprised to find her son standing there she started to call out to him but the words died in her throat. Seeing his tear streaked cheeks and pained expression she just held out her arms and he practically fell into them. Guiding him to the sofa she just held him. Rubbing her hands soothingly across his back she cooed soft words in an attempt to calm him.

He didn't cry but just lay trembling in her arms. It was as if he had cried them all out and had no tears left. As he began to calm Shiori patiently waited until he was ready to speak. Kurama didn't lift his head from where it rested on her shoulder as he softly spoke. "I lost him Mother. After all these years I finally found love again and I hurt him and drove him away."

Shiori brushed his long red hair back so she could see his eyes. "Oh Shuuichi. Maybe if you tell him…"

Pulling out of her arms Kurama shook his head. "No Mother, it's over. I told him I was sorry I hurt him and how much I loved him, then I let him go. Looking back I realize I manipulated him and forced our relationship on him. I wish I'd left things alone. He didn't want or need a lover but he did need a friend. Because of my selfish desires he lost his best friend… we both did."

Shiori squeezed his hand. "Shuuichi, why don't you stay here for a while? You shouldn't be alone right now."

Kurama kissed her cheek before he rose from the sofa. "No Mother, I want to go home. I've been alone for most of both my lives, I'll be alright."

At the door she gave him a big hug. "Alright Shu-Chan if that's the way you want it. Just remember I love you and I'll be right here if you need me."

Kurama returned her hug and kissed her cheek. "Thank you Mother. I love you too."

Though his heart was broken Kurama knew he had to pick up the pieces and go on with his life. He had done it once before, when Kuronue died, he could do it again. Maybe someday Hiei would be able to forgive him and they could be friends again. With that small hope Kurama headed home.