By Ginny
A/N-This chapter is a little more medically involved than the previous ones. I've researched prostate cancer, surgery and recovery and I feel what I've written is realistic. And that means some things are not "pretty" or as my mother used to say, "not dinner table conversation". That said, you probably don't want to eat and read.
As always, reviews are appreciated.
Abby watched television for a while, not really finding anything to hold her attention. She got herself a glass of water and had just turned out the light when she heard Lucien calling her. She headed down the hall. "You ok?" she asked as she stopped in the doorway. In the dim light she could see he looked miserable.
"Too quiet in here. Nobody's stopping by for a vital check," he said lamely, not really wanted to admit anything serious, like the fact he lacked the energy to get out of the bed. Abby just gave him a little glare to start talking. "Feel like crap," he muttered as he scooted over a little to give her room to sit down. Abby sat down without a second thought as she turned on the bedside lamp.
"That's not a real helpful complaint," she teased lightly as she pressed her hand to his forehead. "You're a little warm. Pain?"
Lucien nodded. "Incision hurts, head hurts, I can't get comfortable with this damn thing," he muttered as he pointed in the general direction of the catheter tubing.
"Does the incision look okay?"
"Yeah, no sign of infection, just sore. Dissolving stitches by the way," Lucien said as he blew out a frustrated breath. "Everything is just sore...sore, swollen and annoying the hell out of me."
"Bleeding?" Abby asked, trying her best to toe the line between friend and doctor and not lean over the side of the bed to check for herself.
"Some, nothing to worry about, I don't think. You can look if you want," he said, feeling miserable enough at that point that he didn't really care what she did or didn't see. Abby nodded a little and walked around to the other side of the bed. She took a quick glance at the bag. There were a few very small clots. Lucien was right, nothing to really worry about. While she wasn't worried about bleeding any longer, she was worried about how he wasn't embarrassed at all at having her ask personal questions.
Abby sat back down in the bed next to him. "Honestly, I think you overdid it a little today and you're just tired. You spent way too much time on your feet. How about a heating pad or hot water bottle, something to drink and I'll stay and keep you company for a little while?" Abby offered as she gently brushed the hair out of his eyes.
"There's a heating pad in the cabinet over the washer," Lucien said as he tried to lever himself up a little more. He gave up as Abby left the room, figuring she could help him when she returned.
Abby got him the heating pad and a glass of cranberry juice, which he drank with a minimal amount of complaining. She helped him get comfortable on his side with the heating pad and a few extra pillows for support. She threw the quilt over herself and turned out the light. Lucien was on his side, facing away from her, arms wrapped around an extra pillow.
They were silent and still for a few minutes. Abby didn't know quite what to say or how to help him and Lucien was beyond the point of caring if he held up his end of a conversation.
"Doing okay?" Abby finally asked softly as she tentatively reached out to rub his back a little. He just shook his head against the pillow as he leaned into her touch, clearly craving a little contact and comforting. Abby scooted a little closer, wrapping her arm around him, pressing a kiss to the back of his head. She heard him take a shaky, halting breath as his hand sought out hers. "It's okay, just let it out," she whispered. She held him as he cried silent tears of frustration, pain and fear. No words seemed helpful, she just let him cry.
"Can we just blame that on the Percocet?" Lucien teased after he blew his nose and wiped his face a bit.
"Sure, not a problem," Abby said as she helped Lucien roll over onto his back. "Want to go back on your side?" she asked as he groaned in pain and utter frustration.
"I don't know what the hell I want," he sighed as he wiped away a few remaining tears with the back of his hand. "I can't get comfortable. I miss the adjustable bed," he muttered.
"How about the recliner? You might be more comfortable there. You slept well there this afternoon, right?"
"Yeah. Okay, help me up," he sighed after weighing his dwindling options.
Abby got him upright and had him sit there for a minute to get his bearings before he stood up. It wasn't easy but they slowly made their way to his office, Abby holding him by the arm with the quilt thrown over her other arm and Lucien carrying the bag and trying his best to remain upright. Abby got him settled in the recliner, where he seemed to be much more comfortable. She put a cool, damp washcloth on his forehead and tucked the quilt around him.
"Let me get my blanket and stuff and I'll be right back, okay," she asked as she checked to make sure the bag and the tubing were intact.
By the time Abby had used the bathroom, gotten the bottle of Percocet and some water and gathered up her bedding, Lucien was starting to doze. She knelt next to the chair for a minute, brushing back his hair. After a quick kiss to his cheek, she unfolded her blankets and was about to curl up herself when she realized his glasses were in the bedroom.
With his glasses and a bottle of water on the table next to him, Abby finally crawled onto the couch and promptly fell asleep.
Lucien woke up with the distinct feeling that something wasn't right. It took a minute for him to realize exactly where he was. He turned as he far as he could to the side to see if Abby was on the couch. She was curled up, sound asleep.
"Abby," he whispered. Almost no sound came out and he cleared his throat to try again. The second attempt wasn't much better. He managed to reach for the bottle of water, luckily for him, Abby had taken the cap off and he didn't have to struggle to get it off. A few sips was all it took for his voice to get a little stronger. "Abby."
"What?" was her only reply, before reality took hold and she completely woke up. She threw the covers back, propelled herself off the couch and was at his side in a matter of seconds. "What's wrong?" she asked as she put her hand on his forehead. He was still a little warm but no warmer than he had been before.
"Something's not right," he muttered as he blindly reached for his glasses. Abby turned on the light on the end table, bathing the room in a nice soft light that wasn't going to be any help at all. She turned on the overhead light, blinking against the harsh intrusion of brightness.
"What's wrong?" she asked as she knelt next to Lucien.
"I don't know," Lucien muttered as he closed his eyes and concentrated on figuring out just what he was feeling. Abby went into doctor mode, pushing aside any feelings of embarrassment either of them were about to feel. She pulled the quilt back, settling it over his legs. Lucien's hand rested over the incision site and she moved it away before pulling down the waistband of his flannel pajama pants. There was nothing obviously wrong with the incision at first glance but when she pressed lightly on the general area Lucien squirmed in pain.
Abby glanced up at Lucien, silently asking permission to check everything else. With tears of frustration and embarrassment he nodded his permission. As detached and as clinically as possible, Abby took a quick look at the catheter, quickly finding the source of the problem. "Tubing's kinked," she said as she untwisted it. "Bladder's full and pressing on well, everything," she said with a smile as she straightened his pants and pulled the quilt back over him. She checked to make sure the bag was filling and that it had enough space in it.
"Bleeding?" Lucien looked as he struggled to see.
"A little, nothing to worry about," Abby assured him as she stood up. "I'll be back in a minute. Drink some water," she said as she pointed towards the bottle on the table next to him.
Abby went into the kitchen, washed her hands and got herself a drink of water. She took a minute to take a few deep breaths, calm herself down and to give Lucien a few minutes to himself. She half hoped he was just fall back to sleep but knew that deep down, that wasn't very likely. She was pretty sure she would find him brooding and withdrawn.
And she was right.
Lucien went out of his way to avoid making eye contact and said nothing as Abby replaced his now empty water bottle with a full one. "Do you need anything else?" she asked as she put a fresh cool cloth on his forehead. His response was only a shake of his head, just what Abby had expected. She didn't take his actions and lack of response personally, she knew he had to be mortified. "I'll be here if you need anything," she whispered as she reached to pat his hand. He pulled away, tucking his hand under the quilt.
Much to the surprise of both of them, Lucien slept through the rest of the night. Abby woke a little before 7:00, made coffee and pulled the newspaper off the front porch. She settled down on the couch in the family room with her coffee and the Today Show. A little before 8:00 she heard Lucien cursing and muttering under his breath but she resisted the urge to run and check on him. She hoped that if he really needed help, he would ask for it. She heard him go into the bedroom and then the bathroom.
A long 30 minutes later, Lucien emerged from the bathroom, looking as bad as one would expect, given the circumstances. He walked to the kitchen and reached for the coffee.
"That's regular," Abby called over her shoulder. With a few choice words, muttered under his breath, Lucien went to the refrigerator and got out the bottle of cranberry juice. He poured himself a glass, downed it too quickly and ended up heaving over the kitchen sink.
Abby was at his side at the first sound of him gagging. "Take it easy, relax," she said as she held his head.
"Hurts," he cried as he swiped at his eyes.
"What hurts, Lucien?" she asked as she put a hand on his back.
"Incision," he gasped as he did his best not to throw up.
Abby pressed one hand against the incision and rubbed his back with the other. "Don't fight it, don't hold your breath," she coached as she put a damp paper towel on the back of his neck. Lucien stood at the sink, head in his hands, elbows on the counter for a good ten minutes before he felt able to lift his head. When Abby felt safe enough to step away from him, she found a plastic cup in the cabinet and got him a drink of water. "Rinse and spit," she said as he took the cup with a shaky hand. He rinsed his mouth and spit as he was told before letting Abby lead him to the nearest chair.
With a completely frustated sigh he put his fold his arms on the table and dropped his head down. Abby knelt next to him, gently rubbing his back and threading her fingers through his hopelessly out of control curls. "What do you want to do?" she asked quietly.
"Curl up and die," he snorted as he turned his head a little to look at her. "Do you have to work today?"
"I'm scheduled for a short shift, starting at noon. Unless you have someone coming over to sit with you, I'm calling out."
"I don't. I thought I'd be fine to be left alone," he sighed as he sat up a little, managing to lift his head up without getting dizzy or sick to his stomach.
"Kind of unrealistic of you," Abby said with a roll of her eyes.
"Yeah, I'm not the most realistic guy around," he muttered as he pushed himself to his feet. Abby watched to make sure he was going to sit somewhere and not push himself. He settled on the couch to watch Katie Couric so Abby made him some toast.
"Thanks," he said as she handed him the toast and set a cup of decaf tea on the table next to him. "And thanks for...you know... the middle of the night..." he said softly as his voice trailed off.
"You're welcome."
"You know, now that you've seen the worst of me, maybe someday you'd like to see my better side."
"Lucien, I've seen all sides," she teased. "And we've had this conversation before," she added with just a little hint of warning in her voice.
He nodded and took a bite of the toast. Abby went into the kitchen to call out of work. She talked to Kerry, who, while not thrilled about losing her for the day, was uncharacteristically understanding about the situation, which she'd managed to pry out of Abby.
"OK, I'm all yours for the day," Abby announced as she returned to the family room.
"Gee and I'm afraid I'm not up to doing much," Lucien smirked as he set aside the empty plate and reached for the tea. Abby sat down next to him, settling in for what would likely be a long, long day.
TBC