Disclaimers: No, I don't DNAngel. 'Behind Blue Eyes' belongs to… The Who. I think. Actually, I'm not too sure. There seems to be a number of people who did the same song…
Author's Notes: If it hadn't been for a certain someone, I would have no idea what song to use for Satoshi, because… yeah. I tend not to listen to music I don't like or if it doesn't appeal to me at first. So thanks neko-nya! You're a lifesaver! So on we go!
Track Two: Behind Blue Eyes
000
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies
But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through
But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool
If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
000
The end of the school day was just so… well, it was the usual; like every other day prior to that one. Satoshi had had to plough his way through a bunch of squealing fangirls who had flogged him with countless love letters that he would never read because he couldn't bother to go through the trouble. Besides, he had no interest whatsoever when it came to something like that. He had other problems to get through; something more then school or stupid girls who swooned every time they caught sight of him.
Catching sight of the person he'd been watching – or was it stalking – and hurrying until he was right behind them, the blue-haired boy tapped them lightly on the shoulder. As he expected, the person jumped slightly and spun around, looking flustered.
"H-hiwatari-kun?"
Niwa Daisuke.
Silence fell between the two and then Satoshi dismissed the surprised Niwa boy and left, watched by a perplexed redhead, who was probably talking to his alter-ego, his other half.
That was who he sought to catch. If he could get rid of that one person then he would be at… peace? Maybe not that exactly, but it was a start. Who was he after and who was Niwa's other half?
Dark. The Phantom Thief.
As the Chief Commander of the police force, it was Satoshi's duty to try and stop Dark from stealing what he sought for and ending this, but still… still it was going on. The Thief seemed to enjoy the attention he was getting from it though, so it wasn't going to end soon.
Yes, the world practically revolved around that particular purple-haired kaito. All the girls swooned for him and the police tried every trick in the book to catch him; he whose absence for forty long years seemed to affect them greatly… or something. But Satoshi was the one who was going to catch Dark in the end, and only him.
He was the last Hikari after all.
That was why he was there in the first place; if it hadn't been for the existence of that Thief, then there was no reason for him to be there. His only purpose was to capture Dark, and that was what he intended to do.
He had pushed everything away from him and focused on that one goal.
But time after time he'd been thwarted by that person and it had been just a little more time before he could have completed his task on earth. And then it was… well, there was a blank as to what happened after that. He could figure that out later, but before that…
Then his plans and thoughts were changed for the worse.
When had it happened though? When had he begun to care about another's feelings and care about that person? Was it when they had just spoken in polite tones because of school, or was it the warmth and kindness he saw in those ruby-coloured eyes?
Okay, now he was confused.
Why was he so… so… why did he care so much as to what happened to the host of Dark? He was just another person, the host; that was it, nothing else to it… and yet he couldn't let anything happen to Niwa.
But it was also Niwa's fault that the curse of his own bloodline was now out and… ugh, talking in his mind again. So annoying and something he wanted to get rid of more than anything else.
Krad.
Niwa was what changed everything. If he hadn't been so kind and caring to him, then Satoshi could have kept up his so called barrier from other people and then he could keep on chasing Dark. But no, everything was now changed and he wasn't enjoying it one bit.
Okay, he contradicted himself, the times he'd had just talking to the redhead had been pleasant and had even allowed him to think differently about the world around him.
Satoshi sighed at this and opened the door to his apartment, where he lived with his supposed 'father' who was never there anyway and pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. What was he thinking? Why was he thinking like that? It made no sense and that confused him.
Niwa…
What was special about the boy!
Long ago Satoshi had thrown the emotions that kept him at bay, risking Krad's release, since he was told that that was the key to the release. Kill himself and never hold anything close…
He never intended to, and had manage to keep his vigil for all that time, being completely indifferent to every person and not letting them know how he felt inside, how he really thought.
How really scared he was and how much it really hurt inside.
No one would have known, but Niwa was so persistent when it came to feeling and being a good friend. Satoshi was only going to school to stalk him anyway, in case Dark decided to show himself.
The promise had been broken somewhere among those lines, when he'd decided to talk to Niwa. It wasn't supposed to happen, but something about that boy was different from the scared classmates or the overly obsessed fangirls. They had some serious issues to attend to, that was for sure.
And Niwa seemed to understand: he could smile, laugh and keep optimistic in the most ridiculous of times. Even with the Sage of Sleep… when he'd lost Dark and was told how to get him back he'd been so grateful. Why? He still couldn't understand how the redhead could be so forgiving to his other half who had tried to kill the night before.
Satoshi hated him for that… but it was that that made him more attached to the boy. Whether it was as a friend or more, it was his fault that Krad was out, and he'd tried to make it clear to Niwa, to keep him away so that nothing could happen. The redhead chose to ignore that warning. It was expected, he guessed.
If it hadn't been for Dark's host, then Satoshi might have lived the rest of his life in pain and silence and in the world of silence that he'd created himself since the death of his family. But no, he had to change; Krad was now out and he was trying to kill Dark and Niwa. He grew to care for the redhead and to even care about his own life.
And he blamed it all on Niwa.
If it hadn't been for him, it would have been so easy. If he hadn't become his friend, then everything would be over. If he hadn't become so attached, then Krad would have never appeared.
But that was no longer the case and nothing would change it.
He knew that Niwa liked the Harada twins but would that be enough? Well, if it had been then Dark would be gone and it would be the end. No, something must have happened during that time and now the Thief had to wait for whenever the time would come.
And what did he want? He didn't know, didn't want to know, but still…
Letting Krad go would be the easiest option, but that meant killing everyone, and then he would always feel guilty. He couldn't just rid of someone so kind and caring like that, or his family. Not even his alter-ego. No, that couldn't do.
The truth hurt him, but what could he do without hurting Niwa?
There had to be a way to change the way the fate of the Niwas and Hikaris, right? He was a Hikari by blood, so he had to find a way.
The sound of the phone ringing snapped Satoshi out of his rather long trance and he picked up the phone.
"Yes?"
Until he could truly be himself, to be able to talk freely and be like another normal person, like what Niwa wanted him to be, he would have to be the cold one, the emotionless one. He didn't like the thought of it, and the redhead seemed to agree. Maybe he didn't say it like that, but the message was quite clear. He wanted him to be himself.
But until then, he would just be the cold person and nothing now would change it.
He would keep to himself until it was over.
It didn't matter in the end if he died or something; that was expected with Krad continuously draining the life out of him.
No one needed to know. No one.
It always hurt.
"Commander Hiwatari, we just discovered a notice from Dark--"
Not even Niwa.
000
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
000
These lyrics were really, really touching, when I read them and then listened to the actual music (actually, I don't have much music. Trust me). I mean, it's like so Satoshi and how he's always hiding his emotions and all that usual stuff. And now I sound like some insane fangirl or something. Pft, maybe not. But he does seem to be suffering a lot, anyway. I really do feel sorry for him…