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The two boys had been sneaking around for the past two months, not wanting their best friends to 'discover' them. Now, while everyone was gone on Easter holidays, they had the common room to themselves. Remus pulled the blanket tight around his body, sprawled out before the floor in front of the fire. He had Catcher in The Rye, the one Sirius had bought him, in his hand, and slumped back against the couch, he began to read. Once he got to the part where Holden meets with the prostitute, he drifted off, curling up into a ball on the common room floor.

"Hey Moony." Sirius' voice drifted through his dreamless sleep like a beacon's light. His eyes slowly opened, and he smiled, realizing that Sirius was holding him, and stroking his hair.

"Hey Padfoot." Remus muttered, his voice still in the half asleep dazed tone. He looked over at the now thrown astray book, his place kept, on the other side of the room. He looked up at Sirius who pushed a stray hair out of his face.

"Nice sleep?" He asked. Remus had no idea how long he'd been out for, just that he'd been asleep for a while.

"Hmmm. I quite enjoy the position I'm in now as well though." He said, laying his head on Sirius' stomach, pulling the blanket up to his chin. Sirius stroked his hair again.

"Me too. Hey Reme, how come you never told me before?" He asked.

"Told you what?"

"About you liking me."

"I thought you didn't like me. No point." Remus said, sitting up and looking into the eyes of his companion. "I'm not the most outspoken person, in case you didn't notice."

"I did. And that's what I love about you." Sirius smiled, and kissed him softly. "Where are you going for summer vacation?"

"Home would be my guess."

"Maybe you can spend the summer at my house." Sirius said. "My mother and father won't mind. They love you. And James, not so much Peter, but that's not the point."

"My Mother wouldn't dare." Remus muttered. "Full moons, uh uh."

"What do you do for full moons at your house anyway?" He asked. Remus looked at the floor. If he told Sirius where his mother put him during full moons, Sirius would flip. And then he would slaughter his mother.

"She keeps me in a room in the basement, locked up. Alone. Where I should be. So no one gets hurt." He said slowly. "I still don't think the three of you should do this. Padfoot, what if I bite you? Kill you even?"

"You wouldn't kill me. You love me, remember?"

"The werewolf doesn't care about people, it just wants meat. And that's all you are when I'm a werewolf. Meat. You, James, and Peter. Such easy targets. I'm betraying Dumbledore's trust, I'm betraying my mother, I'm risking your lives."

"We pulled it off in fifth year. I trust you, I trust us. We trust you. We trust us. Reme, you know we won't let you go out there alone. You'd kill yourself."

"Maybe that would be better for everyone else." Remus muttered. "No werewolves, no nothing. Just dead."

"Stop talking like that or I'll make you." Sirius said, pulling Remus close to him and wrapping the blanket around them. "It'd be hell for us. For everyone. You know that. There are loads of people who love you. Even if that bitch you call mother doesn't."

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He could still feel Sirius' arms around him that day, the feel of his hair, the feel of their bodies pressed close together. He missed Sirius, even if he was a killer. He loved Sirius. He'd never stop loving him. He wondered if Sirius still loved him. If the man he once knew was still in there, somewhere, deep down in that soul. Those deep blue eyes, and pale skin, with raven hair, somewhere, was the kind, compassionate, amazing, loving Sirius he knew. The Sirius he loved. If Sirius still loved him, thought about him every moment, waking or asleep. If Sirius ached for Remus the way Remus ached for him. Then maybe he could sleep, knowing that the murderous bastard was in as much pain as he was. That the asshole who had accused him of being the spy was hurting almost worse than he was. That the soul wound wasn't gone, and could never leave him, just like it couldn't leave Remus. If all that was true, then maybe Remus could continue on. Maybe Remus could learn to forgive him. Maybe, just maybe, he could learn what turned him.

Remus removed the blankets and got up off the couch, tears staining his cheeks and his throat tight. He put on his pyjamas, turned down the covers, and fell into a deep sleep, dreaming of his boyhood and his turning into manhood, and the betrayal that he still couldn't forgive.

FIN

)(Well, that's all for that angst fest of a fic. XD I was thinking about doing a sequel, but just never really got around to it. If you guys want me to, review, and I will. Hope you enjoyed it.

YFFSM,

Pengwinn)(