Chapter 8:

Authors Note: Chapter 8, lol, Here we go!

Rin's POV+

I can't believe Kikyou-sama forgot about seeing Inuyasha, I thought surely she would remember. But, when I come to think about it, it didn't seem likely she would forget everything at one point either. Sesshomaru-sama and her had talked, it seemed like Kikyou-sama was offended by his calling her of 'miko' and he agreed he'd stop, or TRY.

I slid away from the door, I don't understand. I have this terrible feeling in my stomach as if I know something bad lies around the next corner, just beyond the sunrise. It was such a miserable feeling almost as if you have to throw up but it won't come up, so you have to bear with the uneasiness until it dies down, or your body finally gives in.

I don't know why, but I want to find Jaken. I hadn't seen him for a while, perhaps that was in my uneasiness. I couldn't really say. My heart seemed to have welled up and every time it beat it felt very painful. I wouldn't dare interrupt Sesshomaru-sama and Kikyou-sama now the mood that was in the room seemed deadly serious.

"Jaken-sama!" My voice was soft and gentle; I'm not sure why it's as if he was close by. But that was nearly impossible wasn't it? Sesshomaru-sama's home…our home…was too big. Maybe it's because I'm so close to where Sesshomaru and Kikyou are. I decided I'd try the outside grounds first; I could be as loud as I wanted to search for him then. Besides, one of the servants or palace guards will no where he is and point me there. They always do.

I crossed out the iron doors, skipping down the steps and coming out into the garden. The scent of lilacs engulfed my nose the minute I got into the garden. It was like a huge maze of flowers and a few statues. It was beautiful. I continued to walk around, Jaken almost out of my mind. I had been walking for quite a while; I was near the center of the garden, I had been through it so many times (and gotten lost so many times) that I recognized nearly every bit of it. There was a soft sound, I'm not sure what it is, perhaps a baby bunny. I had found one before when Sesshomaru and I had walked through here.

I could feel my feet carry me faster and faster, I couldn't help it, I was excited I wanted to show Sesshomaru what I had found, that I had found a bunny all my own. That I might even get praised, I paused I'd never get to the bunny if I was loud. I forced myself to slow down and be quiet and calm, but that ended the minute I turned the rosemary bush. My eyes turned wide with fear and the soft sound of breathing that I had mistaken for a bunny, was nothing close to a bunny at all. It was Jaken.

I tried to suppress the scream in my throat; I could feel it rising from my chest running up my throat, the tears pouring down my face. The scream that I wanted so desperately to suppress arose at a loud shrieking jolt. I fell to my knees, he was dying, he was simply dying; I knew a dying face, the lack of air that was going to his lungs.

His voice was croaked and low, and I saw his big golden eyes stare towards me. They were hardly open, and it was as my scream was just getting to him. He looked towards me and he smiled. Jaken never smiled. I could feel my heart breaking, his tiny green hand grasping my knee, my small body leaning over him. "Rin"

"Hai Jaken-sama?" My voice was wracked with sobs, I had to get to Sesshomaru he had to save him with Tenseiga- why wasn't he here already? Hadn't he heard me? Didn't he care? My heart raced as I looked down to my child-sitter. The one who had watched over me when Sesshomaru was away, traveled along my side, protected me, SCOLDED me.

"Tell Sesshomaru…" His voice sounded old, it almost seemed like it was caked with death. I interrupted him, I know I shouldn't have, interruption was rude. Sesshomaru-sama had taught me that but did that matter? Sesshomaru wasn't here. Why wasn't he here? "Scold me Jaken-sama! Scold me! Get up Jaken-sama! Get up!"

He glared towards me, a very weak one but there was no secret hatred or disgust behind it. It was simply trying to give me what I had asked for; it was as fake as if I had tried to smile right now. "Rin-dono, Do not have Sesshomaru-sama resurrect me…I'm happy" His voice was soft I could barely hear it. "I'm happy to have served under him…happy to have met….you" His eyes closed, there was nothing deny any longer, he was dead. Jaken had died.

Sesshomaru appeared behind me now; I could sense his presence that had been so absent. I didn't have time to be mad, I had to save Jaken. I turned to Sesshomaru who was merely standing there; my eyes were wide with tears.

"Save him Sesshomaru-sama!" My voice was wracked with eagerness; the tears were burning and running constantly. But he didn't look to me, was he even listening to me? I couldn't believe my own doubt in my lord but I couldn't help it. Not again, I wouldn't lose him again; I didn't want Jaken-sama to die. I didn't want him to die.

"Rin, did you not here his words?" Sesshomaru said coldly, why was he being so cold? His words were like ice. Why? I screamed mentally, why is he doing this?

"My lord but but he was healthly! Just just slower please! Sesshomaru-sama please!" I'm not even sure how desperate my words seemed but they must have sounded bad for the fact Sesshomaru-sama looked utterly disgusted. For a fleeting moment I wondered where Kikyou was, I wondered if she could convince him, but before I could say or beg any more he left me alone in the garden with Jaken's body. He left me alone.

He abandoned me. Sesshomaru-sama had abandoned me, abandoned my pain. It didn't matter Jaken-sama died, and I knew Jaken-sama was closer to him then I was. So it made sense, when I died he WOULD forget. He had lied. I couldn't help but feel hatred flare in my chest, it was small but it burned so bad.

I buried my face in my knees and cried. The sun was burning against my back but it didn't really matter, nothing mattered…anymore.

Sesshomaru's POV+

I walked through the house calmly, returning back towards where Kikyou sat in the front room. Her back was towards me, sitting there as she looked to me over a shoulder.

"So, what was it ? Was Rin okay?"

"I'm surprised you didn't come"

"You told me not too"

"I'm surprised you listened"

"I figured it was important…she sounded sad."

"Her scream?"

"Exactly"

I walked down and took a seat beside her, my stress level had been cut too a limit. Rin's tears, her pleads and begs, she should be old enough to understand. The signs were there, the signs of age, his words even. Jaken didn't even WANT to come back, and if he did he'd be in the same condition he was before staggering around, feeling old, waiting death.

No, Rin had to cry, to protest, she had to find him, she had to be hard-headed, and last but not least she had to be a fucking human. I grunted looking to the miko beside me- Kikyou beside me- Her eyes were calm but they showed specks of curiosity as if she could sense my anger, or my annoyance.

"So…are you going to tell me what happened?" Her voice was gently and I could tell she was wondering what could possibly have caused Rin to be in so much pain. It was not like I had disowned her, but I knew she felt like it. Rin's looks showed hatred at me, she had never stared at me in such a manner, such a manner of hatred before as if it were MY fault Jaken died. It hurt. Why the hell did it hurt?

"Jaken died" My voice sounded so bland, so full of nothing as if I were talking air instead of words. I spoke of death so calmly, so why didn't I feel calm? "Why am I so angry?" I realized then I had talked aloud, the question that irritated me so, I NEVER talked aloud.

"It's because you're afraid to be sad"

I paused looking towards the miko, I hadn't ASKED her. Then again I was talking aloud, I cursed myself mentally and looking to the side. Her brown eyes were piercing me almost as if expectantly.

"I'm not afraid of anything"

"You're afraid to feel"

"I DON"T feel don't misunderstand me mi---Kikyou."

She only smiled looking to the side, rising to a stand. "I'm going to go find Rin-chan she has openly admitted pain, she should be praised" I twitched mentally by these words as I rose to a stand almost immediately turning swiftly around and walking outside. I could hear Kikyou laugh softly and her sitting down again softly.

I paused, that witch had just manipulated me hadn't she? I growled lowly stomping into the garden. "Bitch" I had muttered lowly, turning around the corner from where Rin would have been left. Rin wasn't there though, and neither was Jaken. I couldn't understand, perhaps she had requested the servants bury him and returned to her room. But the latest of Rin's scent that had been in the house had been hours ago.

I felt an impulse that was so strong it made my blood boil. Was that girl really that foolish to runaway? Would she? Of course she would, did she think I wouldn't have saved her childhood sitter? No. Did she think I wouldn't have saved my lifelong servant? No. Was she surprised? Yes. Was she betrayed? No. Did she feel it? Yes.

I stood looking out into the directions of the woods exhaling cleanly. "Rin, trust me when I find you, you won't want to be found" I muttered but only under my breath. I would never strike a wrong hand on Rin, and I know she wouldn't go beyond the border line of the western land, I knew she wouldn't go farther then to the point of where she couldn't see our home. Rin just didn't have the heart. No matter how mad or upset she had been. I knew she wouldn't leave just as I would never leave her.

I began to walk off towards the woods, and I could almost feel Kikyou watching me from the window. It made me shiver but in the end it didn't matter, she may have gotten her laugh for now but I'd make sure she got her's later. AFTER I found Rin.

Authors Note: Run away Rin. I know some of you might have a problem with that for the fact you think Rin is 100 loyal to Sesshomaru. And if you note, she wasn't going very far, and she doesn't hate him, she's just upset. Death does strange thing to people. I know. No flames for anything like that. R&R