Spoilers: up to 'The Tok'ra'
Disclaimer: I own nothing
A/N: Written for the SG-1 Team Ficathon (which can be found on lj). The request was for Tok'ra, broken mirror and storms (rain or snow).
Many thanks to my fabulous beta's, Ryuu and Belle. I love you guys :-)
Two days after the Tok'ra had relinquished its control of Sam's body, Janet had assigned Sam her own private room. Daniel, Jack and Teal'c had been taking turns to sit with her, sure that one of them would be able to jolly or coax her in to speaking or even moving. However, it soon became clear that wasn't going to happen.
The job had to take priority, it always did, but Jack couldn't help but feel uncomfortable that Sam was lying up there all on her own. Guilty, even, and he saw echoes of the same guilt shadow Daniel's eyes. Teal'c seemed unmoved, but of the three of them he'd been spending the most time by Sam's side.
There was an awkwardness among them, an unwillingness to say what had to be said, and suddenly Jack just wanted to cut through all that crap and get to the part where they made things better, so he spoke up before Hammond could even sit down.
"Carter's still not speaking."
"No." Janet's voice was level, but the tension in her neck and around her eyes spoke of a concern that he knew wasn't entirely professional. "She's not responding to any stimuli, sir - sight, sound or touch. The last thing she said to anyone was that the Goa'uld had given its life for her."
The air in the room seemed to chill, and Jack could feel his mood darken at the reminder. "See, I just don't get that. The Goa'uld don't exactly go around saying 'Oh, you mean you didn't want me to take over your body after all? Then I'll just find some other sucker who wants a snake in his head.' It just doesn't make sense."
"Teal'c?" Hammond asked, leaning forward and resting his arms on the table. "Do you know anything about the Tok'ra that might support that Captain Carter's claims?"
"Please," Jack said contemptuously. "Of course it's not true." He slouched back in his chair a little as Hammond sent him an angry look, not at all cowed. Carter was a fighter. There was no way would she have let some snake in her head beat her.
"I do not," Teal'c said. "No Goa'uld would consider sacrificing itself for its host. It would be unthinkable."
"Which leaves us back where we started," Hammond said. "Doctor, how would you explain Captain Carter's condition?"
"Frankly, sir, I can't, not conclusively. We have no way of knowing exactly what the Ashrak's technology did to her, and now her body is actually absorbing the symbiote. The chances are that she's suffering from PTSD, but it's impossible to be sure."
"What is PTSD, Dr Fraiser?" Teal'c asked. Jack frowned.
"Post-traumatic stress disorder," Janet explained. "When a person has an extremely stressful experience, something like being close to death, for example, his mind and body can have trouble coping. His symptoms can include nightmares and flashbacks, nervousness or agitation, and avoidance of dealing with the problem. In extreme cases the person may almost completely detach from their surroundings and refuse to interact with the world around them, much like Sam has."
Teal'c didn't look convinced.
"It's very common in soldiers to suffer from it after battle," Daniel said. His eyes went straight to Jack before darting away, and Jack felt the ache in his chest heat to a slow burn.
"Captain Carter is a strong warrior. If she is suffering from this disease," Teal'c's emphasis on the word left no doubt as to his distaste for the idea, "then I have no doubt that she will recover soon."
Jack, Janet and the General exchanged careful looks, and Jack remembered long, hot days spent in hospital, where the fans never worked hard enough and there were always people who wanted to force him out of his silence. Nights when he'd wake up in sheets soaked with his sweat, alone in the spare room because one night, when he was sleeping, he'd struck out at his wife when she touched his shoulder to stop him screaming.
"It's not always that easy, son," Hammond said slowly.
Daniel interrupted the silence. "So what do we do now?"
"There is medication I could give her." Daniel tilted his head in question. "Antidepressants at first, but I only want to start her on them as a last resort. I'd hoped that she would have been more responsive to your visits, but obviously that wasn't the case. There's been no real change in her condition for several days."
Jack looked squarely at Janet, not liking the undertones of fear in her voice. This was Carter and she would be okay. She always was.
"I was hoping Major Carter's family could visit her," Janet continued. "Do they live nearby?"
"No, they do not," Hammond said. "I tried to contact her father but he's currently abroad. It might take some time to reach him."
Family. Jack remembered holding a frightened girl in his arms and assuring her that Sam would never hurt her. "General, would it be okay with you if we brought Cassie onto base? She might be able to help."
--
Sitting in bed, she could hear a clock ticking on the other side of her room and footsteps echoing down the corridor. Daniel had brought her flowers a few days ago and their cloying perfume filled the room, leading her to wonder why a man who suffered from hay fever would choose such an arrangement. A pile of books he'd later brought her sat on her bedside table, but none of them had managed to capture her interest. Instead she let her eyes unfocus and listened.
Voices twined in conversation outside; they never left her alone for very long. A tap on the door and the door-handle's squeak as it turned.
"Hey, Sam." If he was using her first name, it meant that he was still worried. "You're looking better."
She hoped that was just a platitude: she'd seen herself in the mirror that morning.
"I feel better." She felt cold, tired, numb, she ached all over, but yes, she did feel better, though still a long way from good.
Jack sat down in the chair beside her bed. "Doc Fraiser told me they're letting you out tomorrow."
"Yup. I have a week of medical leave, and Janet's ordered me to stay with her and Cassie for a couple of days."
Jack smiled a little. "All of us are on downtime, actually. It hasn't been that long since we took down Apophis and Hammond thinks we need a break."
"I'm not getting that much of a break." He caught her eyes, questioning, and she let her annoyance slip its reins a little. "Psych evaluations. I have to prove that I'm not going to break down at the drop of a hat before they let me back in my lab, and I can only imagine the hoops I'll have to jump through before I'm allowed through the gate again."
It was standard procedure and she knew why Hammond was worried, but that couldn't stop her feeling resentful. She hadn't asked for any of this.
Jack echoed her thoughts. "It's routine, Carter. They'll ask you about your childhood and ask you if you've been having strange dreams or fantasising about killing people. When you say no, they'll clear you for missions in a jiffy."
It was an effort to smile and he looked at her strangely this time, the friendliness in his eyes masked by the familiar expression of her CO. "Are you?" he asked.
She could remember wanting to kill them all if that would get her home. "Am I what?"
"Having strange dreams?"
She shook her head, carefully avoiding his eyes. "I haven't been dreaming at all." She just felt tired and heavy-lidded when she woke up, but Janet told her that was only to be expected.
Jack watched her carefully for another minute until she longed to duck away for fear of what he might see, then he let it go. "You'll get through this and then we'll be off world again, looking for more doohickeys for you to play with."
"Of course, sir."
"Hey." She looked up at him, eyes darker than usual. "If you want to talk to me about this - "
"Sir - "
" - I'm there," he continued, as if she'd never spoken. "As are Daniel and Teal'c, though Daniel actually likes talking about feelings so you might want to go to him first."
His face screwed up in an expression that was too comic to be genuine, but she found it amusing nonetheless.
"Thank you, sir."
He got up and stood beside her for a minute, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "No problem. Just remember to tick the 'not crazy' box, right?"
"Uh huh." It hurt to see him go, leaving her alone in that small concrete room, so she just blurted it out. "Daniel's been thinking about Sha're."
And back to watchfulness again. "Yeah?" he replied.
She tried to explain. "I can see it on his face when he comes to sit with me."
"Well, I'll talk to him." His eyes and voice were gentle. "You just concentrate on getting out of here, okay?"
She nodded.
"Thank you, sir."
She listened to his footsteps until the sound of boots striking concrete died away. Then she picked up a book from beside her and opened it at the beginning.
--
She woke up to a blast of noise, automatically reaching for a weapon before she even opened her eyes. With the disorientation came fear, sharp and simple. She twisted round, fighting the swathe of her sleeping bag, fighting to see in the darkness.
"Captain Carter."
She tried not to flinch as a hand touched her shoulder.
"It is merely a thunderstorm."
Merely. She breathed out slowly and concentrated on making her fingers unclench from the zat. "When did it start?"
"It has been raining for several hours, but the thunder began only minutes ago."
Light blazed across the sky and for a moment she could see Teal'c's face clearly in the ghastly illumination. The blackness returned as she began to count, and again she strained to see him.
Rain hammered down on the tent canvas, a steady accompaniment to the pulse she could hear beating in her ears. Two, three... Another 'explosion', but this time she was prepared for it and it didn't shock her.
"Are we safe in this tent, Captain Carter?"
"The storm's about half a mile away, but we should be fine. The tent poles are made of fiberglass, so if anything they should insulate us."
Reciting the facts was warm comfort, a distraction from their tiny tent and the smell of the fear-sweat that was heavy in the air and on her skin. "Metal tent-poles would have formed a Faraday cage and offered some protection, but then we'd have had to be careful not to touch them."
"Indeed."
She didn't know if he was mocking her, but her clothes were clinging to her clammy skin and she couldn't find it in herself to care. "Teal'c, I'm just going to get out of my sleeping bag." Eyes still not adjusted to the darkness, she heard him move away. The zip stuck and wouldn't budge so she wriggled out of the tight tube of fabric.
Cold air hit her skin, bringing it out in goose-bumps, and she began to shiver. The tent lit up again and then thunder crashed, sooner this time.
Jack's voice was hard to hear over the rain. "Carter, Teal'c, are you alright?"
"We are both well, O'Neill," Teal'c shouted back.
"Just stay put, alright?"
"Like we're going anywhere," Sam muttered, wishing she had a wet flannel to wipe her face and arms with. Admittedly, she could open the tent flaps and wet a cloth outside in the rain, but no way did she want one badly enough to let the rain in.
The next flash of lightning was bright enough for her to read the time. 0423. Her watch was supposed to have started an hour ago. Carefully she forced back her initial feelings of hurt and made herself stay calm.
"Teal'c, no one woke me up for my watch."
"The storm was beginning, and O'Neill felt that you needed your sleep."
She could have accepted his reasoning without the disclaimer. As it was, a surge of irrational temper made her want to tell him exactly what she thought about her CO's decision - or better yet, crawl into the tent Jack was sharing with Daniel and tell him instead. "The doctors cleared me for off-world duty last week. I would have been fine."
She didn't want to be militant and paranoid, but any team could have handled this mission, taking soil samples and surveying the terrain. Fair enough, but now this. She dug her fingernails into the palms of her hands and breathed in. "I don't need you to make things easy for me."
Silence. Then... "I know you do not."
Sam let herself slump, only then realising how tense she had just been. She wanted to apologise but wasn't sure she needed to, and in any case she couldn't bring herself to say the words.
Slowly the rain eased off and the intervals between lightning and thunder grew longer. Sam's sleeping bag was still warm when she crawled back into it.
"Tonight you were making sounds in your sleep, Captain Carter."
She couldn't really remember what she'd been dreaming about. Something about a supermarket, and taking her trolley round the whole mall. Incredibly mundane, but still very vivid. "I'm sorry if I disturbed your kel'no'reem."
"You did not." Sam leaned into her pillow and closed her eyes. "I was merely concerned that you have been suffering from bad dreams recently."
"No, my dreams have been normal."
Normality was bad enough. She'd never been one of those people who could take control of her dreams and lead them in a certain direction, but it had never bothered her in the past. Now when she slept, a part of her always seemed to be removed and watching. Not just watching but fighting, screaming for her to wake up - and she couldn't, just as she hadn't been able to before. Small wonder she didn't feel rested in the mornings.
The last thing she needed was to be sent on further psych evaluations. "I'm fine," she said, and wished she could sound more convincing.
--
The debriefing on their return from Abydos was very strange, given that for once Teal'c was doing most of the talking. Unless the General asked him a direct question, Daniel just stared silently at his reflection in the polished briefing room table. Once the meeting concluded he left the room straightaway, right on Hammond's heels.
Sam stood up quickly but Jack waved her down as he hurried after Daniel, calling out to him.
"Hey, Daniel, wait up!"
Jack hadn't really expected Daniel to listen, and sure enough he kept on walking.
"Jack, I'm really not in the mood, so just don't."
Jack hurried and fell into step with him, resisting the urge to grab Daniel's shoulders and make him listen. "Look, I know you probably don't feel like being around people at the moment, but you shouldn't go home like this."
"Jack - "
"Why don't you come round to mine tonight? We can drink a few beers - "
"Jack, no."
" - we don't have to talk about anything - "
"Jack!" Daniel finally stopped and turned to face him. Jack took in the furious colour in his face and waited, bracing himself.
"I let them take my wife! How the hell are a few beers going to make that better?"
Jack watched as Daniel breathed in sharply. Daniel hardly ever shouted.
A passing airman ducked his head and practically jogged out of their way. Up the corridor, Sam and Teal'c froze in place outside the briefing room.
Finally, Daniel met his gaze. "I can't believe she's gone again."
"I know." Jack considered holding his shoulder, then thought better of it. "We'll get her back, Daniel."
"I know. That's why I keep going through the gate." Daniel stood there for a little, and finally ran a hand through his hair irritably. "You're right, you know. I can't just go home and sit there like nothing happened."
Thank God. "I can give you a lift," Jack offered.
"You don't have to - "
"It's no problem." Jack insisted, hiding his satisfaction as Daniel finally relaxed, his whole body drooping downward.
"Thanks. And Jack?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm not drinking any of your cheap beer."
Jack bit back a comment about the price of Guinness. "I'll stock up on the whiskey then."
Daniel's lips twisted into something that wasn't unlike a smile.
--
Two days, two large pizzas and a couple of six-packs of beers later, Sam wasn't sure this was a good idea. The evening had started off well, but now Daniel was well on his way to being incredibly drunk and all his emotional walls were down. She felt painfully sober in contrast, despite having matched him drink for drink and then some, and was one step away from dragging him up the stairs and putting him to bed in the Colonel's spare room.
"I know she fought." Daniel's voice cut through the gentle murmur of the TV. "She could have told Apophis we were standing right there and she didn't."
Sam searched for something to say that wouldn't sound patronising and failed utterly. She sent a pleading look to Jack, who pulled a face and cleared his throat.
"I know, Daniel," Jack said. His voice was low and soothing in a way she'd rarely heard it.
"And I know that if she managed to take control once, then she'll succeed again. Now that she knows it's possible, she'll fight harder."
Or maybe next time Ammonet would be better prepared for Sha're's resistance. For a moment Sam hated herself and her inability to offer Daniel some kind of encouragement, but it wouldn't be that easy. It wouldn't.
"Sha're is a strong woman, Daniel Jackson. If it is possible, she will prevail against the Goa'uld within."
Daniel glanced down and Sam absently thought how young he looked, sprawled out with a bottle in his hands. "Sam, I need to ask you something." She nodded slowly, hoping he was going to ask her more about the hand device, or something similar. "What was it like being possessed by Jolinar?"
She felt blood rush into her cheeks, almost felt dizzy as Jack stiffened into watchfulness. "Daniel," he warned in a low voice.
"I'm not sure this is going to help," she said quietly. She didn't think she could lie to him.
"Sam, please - " He broke off suddenly. "That was a stupid thing to say, I'm sorry." Daniel looked away, his expression closed. "You don't have to answer that."
She didn't, but in the silence it felt as though everyone was waiting to hear what she would say, and she wanted to offer Daniel something. At the same time, a stranger had died in her head and she'd felt everything, overheard as he called out for the person he loved, felt him screaming inside her. She'd screamed along with him when everything hurt in a way she could have never imagined.
She never wanted to think about it again, but it wasn't that simple.
"Sam?" Jack's voice cut through the memories and she saw him staring at her, saw them all staring at her. Her breathing was suddenly shallow, her palms were damp with sweat.
"I fought the whole time." She spoke each word slowly, quietly. "Sometimes Jolinar's control seemed to waver and I'd fight harder." It didn't seem worth mentioning that Jolinar had clamped down on each petty rebellion with apparent ease. "The Goa'uld aren't infallible, Daniel." Maybe if she'd had more time... She shuddered.
Daniel sighed, a quick inhalation of breath that caught on its way out. "Thank you. You didn't need - You know, I've obviously had too much to drink. I should go to bed."
Jack's eyes didn't move from Sam's face. "Top of the stairs, second bedroom to the right. Aspirin's in the bathroom cabinet."
"Thanks."
Once they heard Daniel moving upstairs, Jack wetted his lips and Sam looked away, all too vulnerable under his scrutiny, all too conscious that Teal'c was watching her as well. "What was it really like?"
When she clasped her hands together, the knuckles seemed very white. Her voice was little more than a whisper. "It was one of the worst experiences of my life."
--
"Cereal. Milk. Bowls. Juice in the fridge." Teal'c raised an eyebrow at this demonstration of Jack's largesse, and Sam pulled a face as Jack raised an arm and sniffed himself. "I'll come and join you once I've had a shower.
Sam poured herself a bowl of some ludicrously sweet cereal for breakfast, and soon they heard the water start running. Only a couple of minutes later Daniel padded into the room, his clothes rumpled and his hair standing up in all directions. His eyes slid away from Sam's, then returned firmly to hers. "Hey."
"Morning."
Daniel picked up a cereal box from the kitchen counter and put it down slowly, then picked up another. " I take it the choice is between Sugar Puffs and Frosties for breakfast."
"Uh huh." Sam watched curiously as Teal'c took the mostly-empty container of milk from where it sat on the table, sniffed it, then poured it down the sink. "The milk has gone bad, Daniel Jackson. I shall go and buy some more from the local convenience store so that O'Neill may have cereal for his breakfast."
It took a moment for Sam to find her voice. "Do you need any money?"
Daniel pulled his wallet out of his pocket and tossed it to Teal'c, who caught it deftly. "Can you get some bagels as well? Please?"
Sam could have sworn that Teal'c's eyes were amused as he nodded slowly. "I shall."
They listened as the front door closed behind him. "Okay, that was odd," Daniel said.
More like a Jaffa-sized hint, Sam thought. "Yup."
"Some days he makes me wonder." Daniel stopped and took a deep breath. "Sam, I really am sorry about last night. I didn't mean to force you into saying anything you didn't want to."
Smiling at him was easier than she'd thought it would be. "I didn't."
"Good. Because I wouldn't - " Daniel looked back at the selection of cereal and sighed. "Think Jack has anything else to eat?"
"There's always toast."
They both looked at the toaster, which looked old enough for Jack to have inherited it from his parents. Its white sides, well, weren't, and the shine of its metal top was marred by flakes of rust. "Okay, maybe not."
Sam took a spoonful of her cereal and crunched thoughtfully. "You know, the milk tastes fine to me."
"Very subtle of him," Daniel remarked dryly. Sam watched him pull some juice from the fridge and poured it into a glass. Swallowing hard, she decided to stop weighing up the pros and cons in her head and just trust him.
"Jolinar wasn't evil." Daniel stiffened, then turned to face her. "He was frightened and desperate, but I know he didn't want to hurt me. It was vitally important to his cause that he get back to his people as soon as possible."
Daniel looked almost scared. "You're sure?"
Sam nodded. She could see him struggling with the idea.
"Okay." Daniel blinked hard, and suddenly his face cleared. "Let's say you're right. Then what?"
"Then maybe they could be good allies against the Goa'uld."
"Even though they're parasites themselves?"
She tried to hide her impatience - he was taking this pretty well - but from the way he lifted his hands up, some of it must have shown anyway. "Okay." She let him think for a while. "Even if that's the case, there are problems. For a start, we don't know where the Tok'ra are or have any way to contact them."
"I think I might." Daniel put his juice down untouched. "I can remember things... flashes. In my dreams. There are tunnels, a man with blue eyes. People are running. I hear a stargate activate, see my face in a mirror."
"That's all one memory?"
"I think so." She faltered. "It's hard to explain. It's all fragmented and I don't see everything all at once, just flashes that feel connected. Does that make any sense?"
"Um, kind of. Like looking into a broken mirror." He looked at her expectantly.
" - what?"
"You see your face, but some features are reflected several times and you don't see others at all, and everything's out of place." She looked at him. "When the pieces aren't level." Kept looking. "Okay, so maybe not." Sam hid a smile as he hurried to cover his words. "So do you see anything else?"
"A desert. Children playing in a village, the Nasyan village I think. The inside of a Goa'uld cargo ship." The man with blue eyes. "And many more images between, but none of them so clear."
"And you're sure these are memories, not just parts of your dreams?"
"It feels..." Sam broke off, frustrated. "It feels real, like I'm reliving everything and it happened, not just your everyday randomness. And if I can remember that much, well, maybe I can remember more - see the complete image, if you will."
Daniel met her eyes gently. "Sha're told me she could remember things from when Ammonet possessed her." Sam started to speak and then stopped. "She could remember Teal'c, and how Apophis used to call him the shol'vah. That's one of the reasons Teal'c suggested we bring her home, we thought she might be able to remember more."
"So it really is possible that I'm remembering things from Jolinar's memories?"
"I think so."
She breathed in sharply. This was really going to happen. "So then we need to talk to the General."
He looked a little intimidated, just as she did. "Yep."
They both looked up as Jack walked into the kitchen, raking his fingers through hair that was still wet from his shower. "What's up, kids?
Daniel looked at him carefully. "Teal'c went to get some milk."
"Yeah? I thought I had enough," Jack replied, not really listening.
"Also, Sam told me that she's been remembering things that Jolinar knew and we've been discussing what to do next."
It took a few seconds for that to hit, then Jack turned round and stared at her accusingly. "What? Since when?"
"Just when I've been dreaming," Sam answered. "But I think we should discuss this with General Hammond. If we can find them, we might want to form an alliance with them."
"What?"
--
"Sir, shouldn't we at least gather as much information as we can before we make a decision one way or the other?" Sam asked.
"You really want to consider forming an alliance with a bunch of damn Goa'uld just because you had a weird dream?" Jack returned.
Sam concentrated on keeping her voice steady. "I'm not suggesting that we commit to anything, just that we gather enough information so that we can make an informed decision."
She breathed in slowly as Jack looked away in frustration, knocking his hand against the table, and forced herself to continue.
"I've spoken to Janet about this. There are techniques you can use to improve dream recall and help you reach a state of lucid dreaming, where you can control your dreams. We hope that by practicing these methods, I might remember something more useful."
"What kind of methods?" Hammond asked.
"Well, there is evidence to suggest that keeping a log of all your dreams, a dream diary if you will, can improve dream remembrance." Jack muttered something under his breath. "In addiction, Janet has suggested I use a CES machine - that stands for cranial-electro stimulation. Basically, she'd place electrodes on my head and send through minute amounts of current - "
"Electrodes? Carter!" Sam stopped and looked at the General, who glared at Jack.
"Please continue, Captain."
Sam took a deep breath. "The current stimulates and balances certain brain neurotransmitters, such as serotonin, dopamine and certain endorphins. Basically," she said, glancing at Jack, "it puts you into a state of deep relaxation, but it's also associated with vivid dreaming and improved memory. There are no guarantees, but this might be what I need to boost any memories Jolinar's left in me."
"And this is entirely safe?"
Sam nodded. "Absolutely."
Daniel spoke up. "If we could find another ally against the Goa'uld... Well. There's no telling what assistance they might be able offer."
Hammond nodded. "Captain, you have my permission to proceed. I expect regular reports from Dr Fraiser about your progress and any side effects the treatment may have."
"Yes sir."
"Dismissed."
Jack looked at Sam. "So you think this is so worthwhile that you're willing to have electric shock therapy, huh?"
"I think it's important, yes," she said evenly. "If nothing else, it'll help me sleep better, sir."
"Right." He nodded slowly. "Carry on, Captain."
Sam rolled her eyes once he'd gone.
--
At first she'd had trouble falling asleep in the infirmary, but that stopped after Janet started giving her a light sedative before the 'treatment'. The sessions themselves weren't unpleasant at all. She'd felt a little dizzy the first few times she left the infirmary, but that hadn't last too long and as Janet had promised, she had started sleeping better.
Sam looked away as Janet injected the drug into her arm. Sam felt a cool rush along her veins within seconds. All her muscles relaxed, even the ones she hadn't realised were tense, and it felt wonderful. "I think I'm going to sleep well tonight."
Janet fussed round her, adjusting one the electrodes on her scalp before turning the machine on. "Just as long as you dream well at the same time."
She could feel a faint tingling across the top of her head, but it wasn't unpleasant. "I think I'm getting better at this."
"Let's hope so."
Sam closed her eyes. She could hear a machine beeping and it was distracting, she wished someone would turn it off. The light was bright behind her eyes.
Darkness.
People in the tunnels, running, chaos everywhere. The man with blue eyes, she knew his name. Martouf.
That seemed important and for a moment Sam wanted to wake up, but she told herself to relax back into the dream.
His face is urgent, he seems scared. She doesn't like seeing him scared.
"We have to activate the Chappa'ai!"
Panic, actions learnt by rote. Symbols on the DHD, glowing as she presses them: five, six, seven.
The gate activates.
That was enough, and Sam's eyes flew open.
--
Sam watched as her father followed Garshaw and Martouf through the gate, not able to hold back her sigh. This had ended better than she'd dared hope, and yet he was gone.
Jack turned and looked at her with sympathy in his eyes. "Well done, Carter. You made a good call."
At least her father was still alive. Sam forced herself to straighten.
"Thank you, sir."
"We should go out and toast our new allies." Sam quirked an eyebrow. "After the debriefing, Carter."
"I think I'd rather stay in." She blinked. "No offense, sir."
"Hey, don't want your free beers? Fine with me. What do you say, Daniel? Feel like making a night of it, you, me and Teal'c?"
Daniel ignored him. "Sam, would you like some company?"
She hesitated. She didn't actually, but like Daniel had once said, she couldn't just go home and try to act like nothing had happened. "Actually, I would. Thank you." She smiled tentatively at Jack. "I'm sure I've got a few beers in the fridge somewhere, sir."
"Great. Daniel can bring the snacks and I'll bring Teal'c."
"That sounds like a very cheap way of getting out of the shopping," Daniel complained.
Jack lifted up his hands in mock-defense. "Hey! Teal'c's a big guy, and I'll be the one footing the gas bill."
"So why don't we swap? My car's more fuel-efficient than your truck, it'll be cheaper that way." Daniel grinned. "And more environmentally friendly."
Jack shook his head emphatically. "He'll never fit in that tiny car of yours. Hell, it's basically a matchbox on wheels!"
Daniel glanced at Sam and smirked a little. "I'd rather be driving a small car than a fuel-guzzling, gas polluting road-hog!"
Sam didn't bother to hide her smile. This, just listening to them and being with them was necessary to her now in a way that she couldn't have imagined just a year ago. Teal'c was probably the only other person who'd recognise that the specifics of their argument were mere background noise to the affection in their voices.
"Daniel, as the commanding officer of this select unit - " Daniel coughed in disbelief and Jack glared at him before giving her his most winning smile, " - I'm the one giving the orders, and I'm damned if I'm going to spend hours hunting round the supermarket for Teal'c's favourite brand of pretzels."
Teal'c appeared in the doorway to the gate room. "O'Neill, Hammond is waiting for us in the briefing room."
"Teal'c, do you want your pretzels or not?"
"How about I give Teal'c a lift, seeing as we're meeting at my house?" Sam interrupted. "The two of you can go and pick up something for dinner together."
Teal'c's announcement that he'd would be happy to drive with her was immediately drowned out as Jack and Daniel began to speak even louder. Sam caught Teal'c's look of exasperation, shaded with a hint of amusement, and watched in disbelief as he took hold of Jack's forearm and started walking toward the doorway, dragging Jack along with him.
"Teal'c!" Jack sputtered, pulling away in a fruitless attempt to get Teal'c to let go of him.
"General Hammond ordered me to fetch you, O'Neill."
"By force?" Jack spat out.
Teal'c promptly released him. Jack immediately began to rub his arm and complain loudly but Sam didn't really pay attention; the look of apprehension on Daniel's face was far more entertaining than any of the Colonel's antics. She smiled sweetly and raised an eyebrow. "After you?"
Daniel grinned back and reached over to clasp her shoulder before making his way into the briefing room. Jack shook his head and followed, still looking disgruntled. Teal'c paused and inclined his head to Sam, allowing her to precede him and she did, inwardly soothed by the familiar warmth of the team surrounding her. Maybe they couldn't make up for what she'd lost, but they made the absence easier to bear.